₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
I’ve got 3 questions:

•Are you married yet?
She might be pretending so she would be married. I’ve seen a man cried that the lady he dated is different from the one he dated.

•Are you marrying for your parents, What if your parents are no more?
Marry for yourself. Your parents have played their parts. Start planning for your own kids. Let it be priority, then your parents can come in. Never ignore them but plan for your kids.

•Do you also love her family the way she does yours?
Reading your post, your focal point is your own family. How about her own family?👨‍🦯

Spoiler go and sidon one side.

You don't need to sow doubts in the old boy.

Not everyone will be like us old bachelors

But seriously op, why leave old people at home without helpers. They're now like children o. Reverted back to needing someone to care for them in almost everything.

My own solution would be to get someone to stay with them. Even if it's just to cook and clean. No need getting married abeg, I like my lonesome

Ikeckwukwu I hail o.

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

correctguy101:
Spoiler go and sidon one side.

You don't need to sow doubts in the old boy.

Not everyone will be like us old bachelors

But seriously op, why leave old people at home without helpers. They're now like children o. Reverted back to needing someone to care for them in almost everything.

My own solution would be to get someone to stay with them. Even if it's just to cook and clean. No need getting married abeg, I like my lonesome

Op should better be prayerful make him wife and mama share the same understanding and peace till the end cos there’s nothing as bad your mum and wife’s argument and you thinking of who to side.

I’m not saying it’s going to happen oo. But I like thinking of both good and evil.

greatiyk4u:
She was visiting them and my parents accepted coming to relax in my house in the city after my marriage claiming to be more relaxed with her.

This did not any way cure your parents loneliness! Just say u wanted to get married because u feel the time was ripe, not using caring for your parents as smokescreen. So long as u weren't living in the same compound with your parents, I can boldly tell u your marriage was of no help to them.

U wanted to kill Ur parent?? For old person wey never chop for two days? U prepared eba?? Solid foods?? This Ur story gat k leg

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

Glad I read this story
It's a good one

ednut1:
Instead of hiring a maid for them you got married so your wife can take care of your parents. Which kind talk be this

The guy no get talk
Wife wey never fit take care of him & the kids, na she wan go take care of parents wey dey village? Lol

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

Glad I read this story
It's a good one
I am glad they have a responsible child in you

Choosing to give you life to your parent is so funny.

Your parents lived their lives the way they wanted. They have you because they wanted a kid, not because they wanted to have you.

Respect your parent, take care of them but don't give your life to them.

Towma:
Men and audacity sha
Imagine if a woman started a topic to say she only got married because she needed a husband to provide for her aged parents.

That's exactly why men are the prize 🏆

Men choses who to marry but women wait to be chosen.

If you can pay a man's groom price, take care of him and provide for him then why not? Go ahead and propose marriage to him so he can take care of your aged parents

BeardedMeat:
Did you send your wife back to the village to live with your parents?

All you needed do was employ one or two househelps for them.
A mature woman and a younger person of secondary school age.

If your wife doesn't live with your parents, I don't see how you have helped their loneliness.

Same thing I was about to ask

idonhammer:
Ikeckwukwu I hail o.

Exigbo mmadu I greet you special

What about her own parents, what is your plans for them? Is she really awear and ready for this caregiving job you are subtly enrolling her into?

All this questions must be faithfully answered to ensure the safety of your marriage.

Unless you are moving in with your parents or bringing them into your new home, you will only be able to do less in see and taking care of them. This is because your marriage is an added responsibility (including significant financial responsibilities) that will keep you tied down (otherwise the marriage is also endangered).

My advise, suspend that marriage until you are sure that you are financially strong enough to fund caregivers for your parents and still run your own household as a married man.

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

All these una stories sometimes not dey add up, if you actually want to help your parents get a house help instead of this long explanation
Note that you are getting married to a wife not a househelp, she will be living with you not your parents so next time cook a better story.. I am a logical thinker nobody can whine me with Cock and bull storyline 😂🤭

Bigchris01:
All these una stories sometimes not dey add up, if you actually want to help your parents get a house help instead of this long explanation
Note that you are getting married to a wife not a househelp, she will be living with you not your parents so next time cook a better story.. I am a logical thinker nobody can whine me with Cock and bull storyline 😂🤭

Mr logical to thinker, I hail thee
These are attributes of those who still retain family values

McLizbae:
What about her own parents, what is your plans for them? Is she really awear and ready for this caregiving job you are subtly enrolling her into?

All this questions must be faithfully answered to ensure the safety of your marriage.

Unless you are moving in with your parents or bringing them into your new home, you will only be able to do less in see and taking care of them. This is because your marriage is an added responsibility (including significant financial responsibilities) that will keep you tied down (otherwise the marriage is also endangered).

My advise, suspend that marriage until you are sure that you are financially strong enough to fund caregivers for your parents and still run your own household as a married man.

This is a throw back story going down the memory lane.....the marriage has already produced 3 kids and we have been progressively moving from one level to a higher level

Congratulations. Life has no manual. You surely must have learned so much from the experiences...

greatiyk4u:
This is a throw back story going down the memory lane.....the marriage has already produced 3 kids and we have been progressively moving from one level to a higher level

SpencerForbes:
Op should better be prayerful make him wife and mama share the same understanding and peace till the end cos there’s nothing as bad your mum and wife’s argument and you thinking of who to side.

I’m not saying it’s going to happen oo. But I like thinking of both good and evil.

No be lie you talk.

Your points are valid. Thing is, if you don't marry dem, somehow, mama and them will forever get together.

Mama will be treating her right so you know she approves, all just to get you married and the younger woman would treat mama right so she approves.

Very rarely would both have any disagreement. I've seen this happen countless times, in my experience...

epainos:
These contract articles that NL is writing and pushing to the front page to drive traffic are becoming annoying and are portraying Nigeria in a negative light.

According to this article, in 2025, his parents are unable to call him and have been without food for more than 24 hours. Does this make sense?

Honestly, these contract articles are getting annoying.

na wao the story get as e be, ah ah, not eaten for a whole day, na wao if true, then kudos to op, but Bros u need to marry a good wife for this care to go round, cause no be all women send yr Papa o!

I can see some people are finding it defficult to understand the point that OP is trying to make; he is saying that his parents condition of loneliness contribute largely to the reason why he decided to get married early enough! If not for the condition of his parents, may be OP wouldn't have considered getting married by now. He would have probably be picking and dropping different women like okrika clothes😁. Let's look at it from that angle 🤷

This is mere phantom story.....just wasted my time reading epistle......🤣🤣🤣

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

AllBlack:
And who are you to tell a full grown man ALL HE NEEDED TO DO?

Have you finished handling your own life?

Just look at the audacity.

You are not making sense. The poster you quoted is more intelligent than you. Some NLers sef

Towma:
Men and audacity sha
Imagine if a woman started a topic to say she only got married because she needed a husband to provide for her aged parents.

He didn't say something some of us do not already know. In fact, I wrote on this just yesterday.😂😂😂

Super story

greatiyk4u:
Mr logical to thinker, I hail thee
These are attributes of those who still retain family values

Abeg make I just rest for the matter I nor fit for banter

muyico:
U wanted to kill Ur parent?? For old person wey never chop for two days? U prepared eba?? Solid foods?? This Ur story gat k leg

We understand his point of view very well.

Instead of hiring a carer for his parents, he got married to one so that she can care and keep his lonely parents in company under the guise of her being his wife.

HRTOFAKNG:
I can see some people are finding it defficult to understand the point that OP is trying to make; he is saying that his parents condition of loneliness contribute largely to the reason why he decided to get married early enough! If not for the condition of his parents, may be OP wouldn't have considered getting married by now. He would have probably be picking and dropping different women like okrika clothes😁. Let's look at it from that angle 🤷

correctguy101:
No be lie you talk.

Your points are valid. Thing is, if you don't marry dem, somehow, mama and them will forever get together.

Mama will be treating her right so you know she approves, all just to get you married and the younger woman would treat mama right so she approves.

Very rarely would both have any disagreement. I've seen this happen countless times, in my experience...

That’s true. From the write up, we can deduce his mother is not the kind of mother that will beef her daughter in law. But to the op, hope you’re also planning for your kids?

Secondly, hope you aren’t having the same expectations from your kids?

He go shock you oo
🚶‍♂️

AllBlack:
And who are you to tell a full grown man ALL HE NEEDED TO DO?

Have you finished handling your own life?

Just look at the audacity.

GTFO again because I don't know why your empty quote keeps popping up on my mention again and again. 😡

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

From your story, you are from Enugu State I guesst

CharlotteFlair:
You are not making sense. The poster you quoted is more intelligent than you. Some NLers sef

And you work in the special bureau of the measurement of intelligence.... through your phone screen. You are really making plenty sense.

BeardedMeat:
GTFO again because I don't know why your empty quote keeps popping up on my mention again and again. 😡

And who are you to tell a full grown man ALL HE NEEDED TO DO?

Have you finished handling your own life?

Just look at the audacity.