Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating (11468 Views)
| Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Dpsychologist(op): 9:23pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Swipe left. Swipe right. Repeat. For every one genuine-looking profile on Tinder, you’ll find fifteen more selling something — a fantasy, a body, or a lifestyle. Let’s be honest: what used to be a dating app has quietly evolved into a digital marketplace. A guy once said, laughing, “Bro, na hookup site be dating site now.” And he’s right. Because these days, “Let’s hang out” usually translates to “Pay to play.” Conversations that used to start with “What’s your favorite movie?” now begin with “What can you offer?” The romance has been replaced by negotiation. The affection, by transaction. And the connection? Well, that’s usually temporary — gone as soon as the bank alert hits. Hookup culture has flooded the streets — and the screens — so badly that genuine dating feels like a lost art. Everyone’s performing; few are connecting. You’ll see bios that say “No hookups” but read like price lists in disguise. It’s a strange new world where beauty is currency, and emotions are collateral. People are no longer dating — they’re bartering. And yet, no one seems surprised. Maybe it’s because we all secretly know that the line between “dating” and “deal-making” has long disappeared. What we’re left with is a culture where affection has a price tag and love has become a luxury item few can afford. So the next time someone says, “There are no real dating sites anymore…” Don’t argue. Just smile and ask, “Who did this to us?”
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| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 9:30pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:40pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:1. Romance has almost always been up for negotiation, only that up until now, many men have been able to get away with getting their needs met for free, while the women are left carrying the empty bag and baggage left behind. ![]() 2. What is the difference between a woman who gives up her body for free to a man and a woman who gives up the same body at a cost to another man? 3. There was never such a line. There was simply a male-dominated past now giving way to a present where females are stepping up to call the shots, as far as the cost of giving it up is concerned. ![]() 4. Men brought it down to where women decided it all had to change for the better. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by women, I, of course, mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Dpsychologist(op): 9:40pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Weldone countering me, dear. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 9:45pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Dating apps flooded with fake profiles😂 It’s so bleeped up that asking a girl out now is scary to an average young man cos the next word is billing. I pray we find peace ✌️ |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 9:49pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:41pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Dating apps have, from the beginning, been used as a sort of catalogue for men looking for sex they don't need to pay for, has it now? Now, the women no longer want to offer their bodies and time for free use. It is simply the way things happen, the new face of peace. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 9:52pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:So you’re trying to say sex is now transactional and only men enjoy sex? |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 9:53pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Why should I be the one paying for what we both enjoyed? |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:00pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:41pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Sex has always been transactional! During the time of your forefathers, women were generally expected to give it up for free to men who desired it, either through rape, violence, or other means. The arrangement was almost always to the benefit of the men in the society. Women, in marriage, were also required to give up their bodies to the whims of husbands, who could up and abandon them thereafter for even the flimsiest of reasons. Much of what the women got in return for the many encounters was the costs left behind — (unwanted) pregnancies, broken bodies, emotional baggage/heartache, etc. ![]() It used to be that only prostitutes were said to enjoy sex. Any woman who said she enjoyed sex was likened to a prostitute. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:01pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:41pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Because the aftermath is almost always borne by the woman alone. Plus, the vast majority of the time, women don't even enjoy these encounters. ![]() For instance, out of 100 such encounters, the woman probably only enjoys it 5 out of those times. Who bears the cost during the other 95 times that she did not? Shouldn't it be the man? ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 10:08pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Kobo😂😂😂😂 my forefathers did proper marital rites and rape cases wasn’t as rampant as this. Women weren’t this audacious to collect money. Men were always the providers in “my” own genealogy. So men except for rape cases has never had sex without paying but my issue is that you all collect money even before the sex and then when called pros, you act angry, My dear kobo who are you deceiving. So with this your explanations. Can we all call women pr@s 😂 cos majority don’t offer anything in a relationship than to lie like wood😂 🚶♂️ |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:12pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:42pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Storyland! 🥱🥱🥱🥱 2. So, all the single mothers, many of whom were forced into exile or into life as outcasts in society, what? Impregnated themselves, abi? ![]() 3. What we know is that a woman who gives her body up for free to a man is not that much different from a woman who gives up the same body at a cost. You can label them as your particular delusion has you doing, but a woman is a woman at the end of the day. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 10:12pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Why continue if you aren’t enjoying anything and who’s fault is it?? If I’m paying you that means you have nothing to complain for cos I’m buying it within my money. What you’re even saying doesn’t even apply to dating and all your points are based on sex. Please my dear kobo, list things a lady brings to a relationship rather than sex. Majority of the ladies. List things they can offer? |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 10:14pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:I think we’re done for the day with this your explanation and I wish all men could see this. I pity anyone that would take ladies serious with this your explanation cos you’re trying to say when I can’t pay anymore, then she can monkey branch 😁 🚶♂️ |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Dpsychologist(op): 10:20pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
SpencerForbes: ![]() |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:23pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:42pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:1. Because they can. When you have a gender brainwashed from childhood into believing their life is only made complete when a man puts his preek between their legs, you find that it becomes hard for them to ponder the simple question you asked. In the same way, you, as a man, find it hard to ponder why you feel you need to have sex, even when you do not enjoy it. At some point, it all becomes performative and less about the enjoyment of it. 🥱🥱🥱 Please, don't bother trying to convince us that you enjoy sex 100% of the time, either, as that is against the literal biology of human beings. 2. If that is what you want to think. ![]() 3. Dating, the last I checked, typically requires a woman to give up her body and/or time to the delight of her partner, does it not? ![]() 4. Nonsense! What does it matter to this discussion or anything for that matter? ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:25pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:42pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Monkeybranching has been a favorite attachment style for men for the longest time now. Why can't or shouldn't a woman be able to do the same? 🥱🥱🥱 ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 10:30pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Only her body😂 with this your thought processes, I’m not surprised why this generation has high rate of baby mamas and single mothers than our parents and I don’t see it stopping soon. When I have to give you money, time and everything and the only “thing” you can bring is intangible. My only pain is when your gender start shifting blames to men. Expecting pity meanwhile you’re the main culprit. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 10:34pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:43pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:1. Since the time of your forefathers, baby mamas have never been found guilty of impregnating themselves. They have always had baby papas facilitating their rise. ![]() 2. A woman brings her body, her emotional energy, and everything to the mix as well. That you need to bring money to cover additional costs is nothing compared to that. ![]() 3. There is no shifting of blame to men since, again, from the time of your ancestors, women have always been left to deal with the aftermath of the encounters, something many of them are trying to change now. They no longer wish to live like their mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers before them lived. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by NiRfreak(m): 11:00pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 9:13am On Oct 16, 2025 |
No spiritually serious man should be found doing transactional dating business on those hook up app. It's like trading away your life force and sense of purpose with profane souls that have nothing to offer other than destruction. In fact feasting on those pictures is like focusing on fake damage product that are mere septic tanks of deceits. I Wise Men would beware of those site peopled by women of coven spirit, marine spirit and soulless life sucking women... whose aim is to bring you down. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Dpsychologist(op): 11:05pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
NiRfreak:Wahala for the hyperreligious. We are too superstitious in Nigeria. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by NiRfreak(m): 11:10pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 9:42am On Oct 16, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:There's difference between spiritual truth and superstition. The day you start seeing the spiritual knowledge that underpins sexual purity, you will have deeper understanding of the whys of what you write about, and you will gain the power to live above the trappings of sexual snares laid by women of easy virtues. That's the true freedom |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 11:13pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:43pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
Dpsychologist:Churches, Mosques, and communities are the dating-site equivalents for most of the hyperreligious folks in Nigeria. And your so-called spiritual/religious men do pretty much the very same things that others do on dating sites. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 11:15pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:43pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
NiRfreak:All of them lies, since there are literally no difference between your many spiritual/religious type and the non-religoius men out there... they all seem to see women are objects for their desires. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 11:16pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:I’ll leave you to seun and his bot. You started by blaming us then now you’re saying ladies don’t shift blame. Keep rolling in your own wheel. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 11:19pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:And how do women see us? As poverty elevation scheme😂😂😂😂 |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 11:19pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:43pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:I see a lack of comprehension is indeed your major issue. Go back and re-read, as many as you need to, to ensure you understand what men were formally to be blamed for, that women are no longer sitting for. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 11:19pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
It’s funny how you keep victimizing your gender😂😂😂 I can’t stop laughing😂😂😂 🚶♂️ |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 11:20pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Blamed for what you clearly stated that you should be paid for😂😂😂 I’ll keep laughing kobo😂😂 |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Kobojunkie: 11:21pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 5:44pm On Oct 16, 2025 |
SpencerForbes:Women don't see men as poverty elevation schemes. They only see men who want their bodies as opportunities to elevate themselves from poverty. Given your previous issue with comprehension, however, I will not be surprised if this goes right over your head. ![]() ** By Men, I mean male-centered men and women who back them. And by Women, I, of course, mostly mean women who are against the traditional illusion that has persisted until now(there are still lots of women(many of our mothers and grandmothers included) who still go around parrotting the old model that has largely traumatized women as the way. |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by NiRfreak(m): 11:22pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Is it men of God u came to serve? Abi God? What stops you from becoming the true man of God who people can learn the truth about God from instead of always lamenting about so called men of God. Cos it always seems u are trying to heal from certain trauma inflicted by your associating wit fake men of God in the past. Try and become a true man of God and your life can give meaning to other yearnings to meet real men of God |
| Re: Swipe, Pay, Repeat: The Rise Of Pay-for-play Dating by Nobody: 11:22pm On Oct 15, 2025*. Modified: 11:53pm On Oct 15, 2025 |
I should be blamed for destroying a toy you made necessary I should pay for. Once I’ve paid the toymaker has no right to claim I spoilt his toy. The joke is on you kobo😂😂 |
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