₦airaland Forum

SpencerForbes:
Money is nothing😂 there was a certain rush then when men were training their girlfriends in school then get heartbroken. Why did you think it hurt them if it meant nothing🤔

I emphasized from the beginning that everything I say would be predicated on the money being peanuts to the man but a big deal to the lady!

SpencerForbes:
Why do you also think it is easy for a lady to leave a relationship than a man🤔

Not when the man is "rich" and the lady dependent on him. He'd infact soon get tired of her and want to "conquer" someone fresh - until he meets someone "unconquerable". It is easy for a lady to get some man but quite hard to keep a high-value man all the way to marriage!

FreeIgboho:
Not when the man is "rich" and the lady dependent on him. He'd infact soon get tired of her and want to "conquer" someone fresh - until he meets someone "unconquerable". It is easy for a lady to get some man but quite hard to keep a high-value man all the way to marriage!

True and that’s what I’m saying. If the man has intentions of short term relationship, he can do that and I’ll also add if the man is so rich, he can do that.

Do you know what’s time and attention to a rich man? Just imagine such a man after all his suffering getting engaged to a gold digger and he loses that his offshore job. After setting the lady up thinking he has found a wife. She ends up disappointing him. Do you think that his “peanuts” won’t hurt him🤔

Always remember wealth can be likened to a bird that can fly anytime and I’ve seen and experienced it. Now imagine it flew when he needed this his “long term partner the most”. Tell me he won’t get hurt and I’ll agree🤔

SpencerForbes:
True and that’s what I’m saying. If the man has intentions of short term relationship, he can do that and I’ll also add if the man is so rich, he can do that.

Do you know what’s time and attention to a rich man? Just imagine such a man after all his suffering getting engaged to a gold digger and he loses that his offshore job. After setting the lady up thinking he has found a wife. She ends up disappointing him. Do you think that his “peanuts” won’t hurt him🤔

Always remember wealth can be likened to a bird that can fly anytime and I’ve seen and experienced it. Now imagine it flew when he needed this his “long term partner the most”. Tell me he won’t get hurt and I’ll agree🤔

Like a said b4, anything can happen in a relationship regardless. That's why the money MUST be money that is peanuts to the giver. So that either way, he loses almost nothing in the long term while getting so much in the short term!

Come out of her you spirit of masculinity.
Money is the only love language females understand

SpencerForbes:
That’s the goal bro. Find someone that wants to be loved not someone that wants to be bought

🚶‍♂️

That brings peace that you never imagined it's possible.

FreeIgboho:
Like a said b4, anything can happen in a relationship regardless. That's why the money MUST be money that is peanuts to the giver. So that either way, he loses almost nothing in the long term while getting so much in the short term!

What will the guy be getting or gaining in the short-term, especially for guys who don't believe in premarital sex?

SpencerForbes:
Yeah that’s very true. I’m just imagining if he can invest half of that 500k into a young guy🤔.

Let any young guy ask him for money, he’ll be bringing out 1k while he spends lavish it on women and don’t ask how I know.

When I was still at my lowest, still hustling. A man came to workplace. He saw me and a lady working, he gave me 1k but while leaving he gave the lady 10k. She later told me but I wasn’t angry or sad. My question was “Wetin man do man” I’m not saying he’s wrong but he should invest also in young guys cos that’s where the real treasure is. Don’t allow a lady’s beauty to blindfold you because I’m very sure that’s what killed Adam and Samson 😂

It's the benefit he envisions himself receiving later on👀. Can you give such 'bend fit’?

I definitely don't support his actions, it shows his mundane bias😁.

Gabrielshow24:
It's the benefit he envisions himself receiving later on👀. Can you give such 'bend fit’?

I definitely don't support his actions, it shows his mundane bias😁.

Like sometimes you try to engage people and when you find out how they reason, you just know only experiencing it can help them. And I pray they experience it but not to their downfall. Then they’ll understand the saying “all man for himself”.

onlyhope:
What will the guy be getting or gaining in the short-term, especially for guys who don't believe in premarital sex?

Adoration, being a female someone's "god", and being seen as a successful player who has his own personal hoe!

FreeIgboho:
Adoration, being a female someone's "god", and being seen as a successful player who has his own personal hoe!

"Adoration" is payment to you? Do you adore your parents for example? Is it some form of payback (reward) to them?

"A personal hoe" that term is against the very essence of "abstinence" from premarital sex. I can infer you know that asides sex, which you are calling the reward for spending lavishly for a woman without reasoning, there is no reward or profit in spending like a fool for a hoe (mind you, no, a faithful, commiitted, and contributing wife is not a hoe).

If you call a non-contributing woman a hoe, and society and government consider hoes "useless," you can complete the statement.

Being a female someone's god? I believe you just decided to add that for lack of words.

The same "females" who want society to disregard all cultural norms (for example serving husband meals on their knees; they also clamour for equality even in leadership in politics and religious organizations) are the same ones that will regard a man as god?

onlyhope:
"Adoration" is payment to you? Do you adore your parents for example? Is it some form of payback (reward) to them?

"A personal hoe" that term is against the very essence of "abstinence" from premarital sex. I can infer you know that asides sex, which you are calling the reward for spending lavishly for a woman without reasoning, there is no reward or profit in spending like a fool for a hoe (mind you, no, a faithful, commiitted, and contributing wife is not a hoe).

If you call a non-contributing woman a hoe, and society and government consider hoes "useless," you can complete the statement.

Being a female someone's god? I believe you just decided to add that for lack of words.

The same "females" who want society to disregard all cultural norms (for example serving husband meals on their knees; they also clamour for equality even in leadership in politics and religious organizations) are the same ones that will regard a man as god?

Funniest part is she’s still giving his “rich” benefit to one pauper in a face me i face you room for nothing. It’s just like seeing your GLK being used for danfo.
Expensive benefits😂😂😂
🚶‍♂️

onlyhope:
"Adoration" is payment to you? Do you adore your parents for example? Is it some form of payback (reward) to them?

"A personal hoe" that term is against the very essence of "abstinence" from premarital sex. I can infer you know that asides sex, which you are calling the reward for spending lavishly for a woman without reasoning, there is no reward or profit in spending like a fool for a hoe (mind you, no, a faithful, commiitted, and contributing wife is not a hoe).

If you call a non-contributing woman a hoe, and society and government consider hoes "useless," you can complete the statement.

Being a female someone's god? I believe you just decided to add that for lack of words.

The same "females" who want society to disregard all cultural norms (for example serving husband meals on their knees; they also clamour for equality even in leadership in politics and religious organizations) are the same ones that will regard a man as god?

What do deities gain from you constantly praising them. What does a Tinibu or a big boy gain from you hailing him? But they'll reward you for it because they do gain something. All gains are not calculated in money!
You've somehow sneaked abstinence into the equation. Where did OP say he was abstaining?

FreeIgboho:
What do deities gain from you constantly praising them. What does a Tinibu or a big boy gain from you hailing him? But they'll reward you for it because they do gain something. All gains are not calculated in money!
You've somehow sneaked abstinence into the equation. Where did OP say he was abstaining?

You are not ready for this conversation. First, have you ever seen me praise any politician here?

You presume I can get rewarded for hailing a politician [who are mere humans] when it's not needed, but a diety doesn't reward? Mind you, I used the word "religion/religious" not diety. Religion rewards whether you like it or not. That's a discussion for another day.

As for your responses, I didn't know you were specifically quoting the OP. If your answers are for the OP only, well, then no problemo.

However, you should know that other people read responses on this forum. Some may go as far as applying it in their relationships or dealings. Let's be guided.

And just like Netflix, once payment stops, service goes off.

Here’s the truth:
Money should support love, not define it.
Because when your wallet becomes your love language, heartbreak is only one “insufficient balance” away. cheesy

So guys, invest wisely, emotionally and financially.
If she only loves you when you’re pressing money,
don’t stress just press “unfollow.” winkHere’s the truth:
Money should support love, not define it.
Because when your wallet becomes your love language, heartbreak is only one “insufficient balance” away. cheesy

So guys, invest wisely, emotionally and financially.
If she only loves you when you’re pressing money,
don’t stress just press “unfollow.”

Kozino:
A Nigerian girl who is a student has shared with her friend what her boyfriend of 1 month (Destiny helper) already got for her and her family. To her, this is what love is all about.


The Price of Affection: When Gifts Become the Language of Love

The story is a familiar one. A young Nigerian student, her heart full of hope, shares an excited whisper with her friend. Her new boyfriend—her "Destiny Helper"—has, in just one month, not only gifted her things she desires but has extended his generosity to her family. In her eyes, this is not just kindness; this is the very definition of love. He is serious, he is capable, and he is proving his worth in the most tangible way he knows: through financial provision.

This scenario forces us to ask a difficult question: In the pursuit of love, does opening your wallet speak louder than opening your heart? Does using money to show you're serious really make sense?

The answer is not a simple yes or no, but a complicated "it depends."

The Case For: It's More Than Just Money

To dismiss this as mere materialism is to ignore the deep-seated cultural and practical realities at play.

1. The Provider Paradigm: In many cultures, including Nigeria, a man's ability to provide is historically and traditionally linked to his readiness for a family. It’s a sign of stability, responsibility, and foresight. When a man helps a girl's family, he isn't just buying gadgets; he is investing in her ecosystem. He is saying, "I see your world, and I want to be a supportive part of it." This can feel profoundly secure and respectful.

2. The Language of Action: In a world full of empty promises and "chatting," financial investment is a concrete action. While another suitor might be weaving dreams with words, the one who pays for a laptop, helps with a sibling's school fees, or settles a urgent bill is demonstrating commitment in a way that is undeniably real. It cuts through the noise and says, "My intentions are backed by sacrifice."

3. The "Destiny Helper" Complex: The term itself is revealing. In a challenging economic environment where many struggle, a partner who can alleviate real, pressing burdens can genuinely feel like a "helper" sent by destiny. For a student juggling academics and financial pressure, this support isn't just romantic; it can feel like a lifeline.

The Case Against: The Foundation Built on Sand


However, when gifts become the primary dialect of the relationship, the foundation can become dangerously fragile.

1. The Confusion of Currency: The most significant risk is the conflation of love with money. If a woman begins to equate being cared for with being cared about, she may find herself in a relationship with a banker, not a partner. The question becomes: Is he paying for love, or is he paying for control? Is he giving freely, or is he building a ledger of debt—emotional or otherwise—that will be called in later?

2. The Silence of the Authentic Self: When money does all the talking, the crucial, early conversations never happen. You don't learn about his temper when he's frustrated. You don't see his empathy when you're sad. You don't witness his integrity when no one is watching. The glitter of gifts can obscure the flaws in his character until it's too late. A man's generosity with his wallet tells you nothing about his generosity with his time, his ears, or his heart.

3. The Inevitable Shift: What happens when the money slows down? Economic fortunes change. If the relationship was built on the premise of provision, what is left when he can no longer provide at the same level? The love that was purchased can too easily be repossessed. A relationship that cannot survive a financial drought was never built on solid ground.

The Balance: Appreciation vs. Expectation


So, does it make sense?

It makes sense as a [/b]factor, but it is a catastrophic mistake to make it [b]the [/b]factor.

A man who is serious will often want to show it in tangible ways, and in a practical world, that includes financial care. There is nothing wrong with appreciating a partner who is generous. The problem arises when:

[b]Gifts become the expectation, not the appreciation.
The value of the person becomes tied to the value of their presents.

The receiving partner forgets to look for the other, more enduring currencies of love: respect, trust, communication, shared values, and emotional safety.

True love is not a transaction. It is not a monthly subscription fee paid for with gifts. The man who is truly "serious" is the one who invests not just in your present comfort but in your future happiness. He invests with his time, his listening ear, his unwavering support for your dreams, and his consistent presence through good days and bad.

The "Destiny Helper" who only helps with money may just be a short-term loan. The one who helps you build a life of shared respect, emotional intimacy, and unwavering partnership—that is the true destiny worth waiting for. His generosity is a welcome bonus, but his character is the non-negotiable foundation.

What do you think?