₦airaland Forum

MrCaesar:
I don't understand your story. You married your wife to stay with your parents and keep them company. You don't impose stuff like that on a woman.

odinga1of:
From your story, you are from Enugu State I guesst

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

greatiyk4u:
She was visiting them and my parents accepted coming to relax in my house in the city after my marriage claiming to be more relaxed with her.

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

greatiyk4u:
Why I got married

Growing up, I watched my parents work tirelessly to provide for our family. They were always there for me and my three other younger siblings, sacrificing their own happiness for our well-being. As I grew older, I realized that their dedication to our family had come at a cost - they were lonely, and their lives revolved around me as the first son and the only son around in Nigeria.

After my graduation from the university, I relocated to the city and started business ventures while leaving behind my two brothers in the university but they relocated to Europe immediately after their NYSC, I would often visit home and find my parents sitting alone in the evenings, with no one to share their thoughts or experiences with. My father's eyes would light up when I walked in, and my mother's face would break into a warm smile. But beneath the surface, I saw the loneliness and helplessness because they were left alone with our last born and the only daughter we have who was going to school from home.

The scenario that broke the Carmel back was after my sister was posted to far away ADAMAWA state for her Youth service and my dear parents were left all alone to help themselves, they are retirees with Dad a retired principal in a secondary school and mom a retired LGA staff....One Saturday, I visited home unannounced and met the two of my parents lying down helpless with none of them strong enough to even bring out food from the refrigerator to microwave and eat, no strength to even wake up to plug in their phones to charge even when there was electricity supply because they were sick and weak.... immediately they saw me, they rejoiced as if a Messiah had befallen them, my dad told me they had not eaten anything since the previous day because they had no helper and the first thing I should do was to hurry up and warm soup and make Eba for them to start with.

I quickly dropped my luggages and rushed to do as they requested and sooner than later their joy was resoundly restored , we spent all night gisting and merrying that i couldnt hang out with my home boys who were eagerly waiting to have some bottles and cups of palm wine with bush meat on me.

On getting back to the city I realized that I needed as a matter of urgency to give them the joy and companionship they deserved. I needed to bring someone into my life who would care for them as their own parents. I began to appreciate the importance of family and the value of having someone to share life's moments with.

I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.

Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

Google photo used for illustration

meobizy:
I dey fold arms look una. If women were bad, all men would remain unmarried.

The thing I hate most is when Nigerians birth kids with the intention that they’ll take care of them in old age. Your children owe you nothing.

That is one thing about whites that I respect the most. They raise children, free them to their own adulthoods at eighteen then work towards saving enough to use a care home. The selfish ones who realize beforehand that their kids won’t care for them decide to use their pension to finance a young African or traditional wife.

Prettychild:
This ‘your children owe you nothing’ is the most selfish thing to say! Why has the generation lost it? Your children owe you as much as owe them too

meobizy:
Children never asked to be born.

greatiyk4u:
➜.... I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend that I dated from the university because I knew she would be my partner, and together, we could give my parents the happiness and companionship they deserved. I wanted to repay their selflessness and sacrifice by giving them a sense of security and joy in their later years.[/b]
➜ Marrying her wasn't just about us; it was about building a life together that would bring happiness to my parents. I'm grateful to have found someone who shares my values and loves my family as much as I do.

greatiyk4u:
➜You are either from a broken home or grew up with no love. Family is everything

greatiyk4u:
You are either from a broken home or grew up with no love
Family is everything

greatiyk4u:
➜She was visiting them and my parents accepted coming to relax in my house in the city after my marriage claiming to be more relaxed with her.

Kobojunkie:
She was visiting your old parents, who cannot even take care of themselves without you being there to take care of them? You basically recruited this woman under the guise of being a wife, as a nanny for your parents. This is a family of manipulators.

By the time that poor girl realizes what happened to her, she would probably have become so physically and mentally exhausted by it all.

greatiyk4u:
➜Sorry she is not toxic woman....... family values differ and she is very happy with my parents that a day hardly passes without her speaking with my parents on phone, though she is an orphan but I have been doing great to her siblings who take my house as their home

Kobojunkie:
Yeah... sure! How old is she right now? And what is the age gap?

greatiyk4u:
➜The marriage has produced 3 kids and progressing in love and mutual understanding. Age gap of 5 years

greatiyk4u:
➜They rejected the idea of maid though the later accepted but they saw a wife more of a family and companion, a shoulder to lean on than a maid who has kpi. They were indirectly looking for grand children from us.

Orlandoo:
Many have lost their lives to maids in the past.

Kobojunkie:
WOW... I knew OP's whole family had to have been in on the whole thing.

Towma:
➜Men and audacity sha! Imagine if a woman started a topic to say she only got married because she needed a husband to provide for her aged parents.

greatiyk4u:
➜As it should be and expected

Kobojunkie:
As it should be and expected, abi? That is the reason why you had to pick yourself the perfect prey for what you and your parents planned, a woman who had no parents— according to you, she is literally an orphan with siblings to care for — to talk sense into her, abi?

greatiyk4u:
➜You seem to be more disturbed than the the woman in question. She is a banker

Kobojunkie:
. Oh, the woman is disturbed, too?

2. What has her being a banker got to do with the fact that she was married for the purpose of being a caregiver for your parents and producing babies for their pleasure? Your write-up does not even include anywhere that you even love the children she birthed, as it seems to be all about making your parents happy.

greatiyk4u:
➜You seem to have been understanding the right up from a different angle.....I narrated what moved me to get in marriage at the time I did and cannot go into full details about my children and others.....the message is clear about what moved me into marriage not what happened thereafter
➜ If she were disturbed, of course she would have gone na

Kobojunkie:
Just imagine! Caregiver wife to his parents, and later on, hospice wife to OP as well. I can only imagine the kind of things that go through her head when she tries to reason her situation. Of course, that is assuming she can reasonably do so with 3 children; her mind may not even be able to fathom what she has done to herself.

Kobojunkie:
1. Indeed, the message is clear that what moved you to marry your wife was not your love for your wife or a desire to be in a relationship with her. But rather, a need to provide hospice care for your parents for free and as well as grandbabies, for them to feel good about.

2. You picked a highly vulnerable individual — an orphan with siblings to care for— to implement your goals with. And then you proceeded to have three kids with her, knowing that many women hesitate to leave when kids are already in the picture. You trapped her in a situation that she literally cannot walk away from without serious backlash from society and even her own siblings. That she has chosen to remain over the years DOES NOT at all mean she is not disturbed by all of it.

Even Osinachi stayed until she eventually lost her life. A woman staying in a marriage DOES NOT mean she is not disturbed or regretful.