₦airaland Forum

Good day, Nairalanders.
Please, I need your honest opinion on this matter.

I met this girl about a year ago when I went to purchase some goods at her workplace. She was really caring and even helped me carry some of the goods to the roadside. When I tried to tip her, she refused.

At that time, I was living in Ivory Coast, so after returning there, I chatted her up and expressed my interest in her. She initially agreed to date me but later changed her mind.

When I later visited Nigeria, she came to see me at my hotel. However, she didn’t allow anything intimate to happen. On several occasions when she visited, each time I made a move, she would walk out without even asking for transport fare. I would always call her back to ask why she acted that way, but her reasons were never clear.

Still, I kept supporting her in my own little way, even though I knew deep down she might never accept me. When I started getting tired of the situation, I told her I was moving on.

At this point, I had already rented an apartment close to the Benin Republic border — I chose that location because the electricity is stable and the rent is paid quarterly, with no agency fees.

Last week, she chatted me up asking if I didn’t want her to visit. I told her I did, but that I’d prefer someone who could spend a few days with me. She agreed to spend two days.

However, on the morning of the day she was supposed to come, she messaged me again, saying she had changed her mind and wouldn’t be sleeping over — but that when she came, I could “ask for anything.” Long story short, she eventually came, and that was the first time we had sex.

Now here’s where the issue starts.

She currently lives with her biological sister and a female friend. When she came, she told me that she, her sister, and their friend wanted to move in with me because they didn’t have money to rent their own place. I actually liked the idea and agreed. I even spoke with her sister about it.

But now, her sister and their friend have changed their minds. They say they prefer to move back to the East rather than come live with me. I even offered to pay three months’ rent for them in a similar apartment here, but they still refused.

Mind you, the reason I wanted them to move closer was so they could find something doing here — unlike their current situation, where they’re broke and dependent. Whenever I send my girlfriend ₦15,000, it barely lasts two days because she’s the one taking care of the rest since they’re not working.

How long can this continue?

Now, my girlfriend isn’t really the problem — her sister and their friend are. They don’t want her to move in with me, and she also can’t make any move without their consent. I’ve now decided not to rent any place for them in Lagos.

Nairalanders, what’s your take on this?

jasent:
Good day, Nairalanders.
Please, I need your honest opinion on this matter.

I met this girl about a year ago when I went to purchase some goods at her workplace. She was really caring and even helped me carry some of the goods to the roadside. When I tried to tip her, she refused.

At that time, I was living in Ivory Coast, so after returning there, I chatted her up and expressed my interest in her. She initially agreed to date me but later changed her mind.

When I later visited Nigeria, she came to see me at my hotel. However, she didn’t allow anything intimate to happen. On several occasions when she visited, each time I made a move, she would walk out without even asking for transport fare. I would always call her back to ask why she acted that way, but her reasons were never clear.

Still, I kept supporting her in my own little way, even though I knew deep down she might never accept me. When I started getting tired of the situation, I told her I was moving on.

At this point, I had already rented an apartment close to the Benin Republic border — I chose that location because the electricity is stable and the rent is paid quarterly, with no agency fees.

Last week, she chatted me up asking if I didn’t want her to visit. I told her I did, but that I’d prefer someone who could spend a few days with me. She agreed to spend two days.

However, on the morning of the day she was supposed to come, she messaged me again, saying she had changed her mind and wouldn’t be sleeping over — but that when she came, I could “ask for anything.” Long story short, she eventually came, and that was the first time we had sex.

Now here’s where the issue starts.

She currently lives with her biological sister and a female friend. When she came, she told me that she, her sister, and their friend wanted to move in with me because they didn’t have money to rent their own place. I actually liked the idea and agreed. I even spoke with her sister about it.

But now, her sister and their friend have changed their minds. They say they prefer to move back to the East rather than come live with me. I even offered to pay three months’ rent for them in a similar apartment here, but they still refused.

Mind you, the reason I wanted them to move closer was so they could find something doing here — unlike their current situation, where they’re broke and dependent. Whenever I send my girlfriend ₦15,000, it barely lasts two days because she’s the one taking care of the rest since they’re not working.

How long can this continue?

Now, my girlfriend isn’t really the problem — her sister and their friend are. They don’t want her to move in with me, and she also can’t make any move without their consent. I’ve now decided not to rent any place for them in Lagos.

Nairalanders, what’s your take on this?

Go ahead and rent for them if you've got the means...she sounds like a keeper

Let's first be clear about something. The reason you want your "girlfriend" (I love how you slyly promoted her by the way), to not move so far away is because she'll not be so easily accessible.

Now that's clear. What exactly do you want?

And how much you willing to pay?

That second question is because you might want to consider putting the sister and friend on your pay roll plus their rent.

For every action there is a Reaction either positive or negative. You can rent a house for them but pause and think about something.
How come the 3 of them are unable to raise money to get an apartment?

Also since you aren't married to the girl, why do you want her to move in with you? That's not proper. Let her go with her sisters.

Follow the game, tell her you agree with her sisters idea and she should stay with them. See what happens next.

You are sending 15k to her. How much have you sent to your mother?
If your father saw 30k from you, won't he be happy?

That 15k is probably x4 of what your brother slaves for a full month before earning.

Avoid dating poor people.
Avoid dating children of poor people.
Avoid dating friends of poor people.
Avoid dating jobless people.
Avoid dating jobless children of poor people.

You are not UNICEF, you are not WFP. You are not Ministry of Humanitarian Affairs.

Your job is not to feed and take care of poor people.

I always laugh when I see this kind of posts. Most of us create problems for ourselves, we just want to feed our appetites and fund hypergamy. Instead of you giving her 15k, why don't you enrol her in a trade, something like tailoring, and sign an agreement that she will work for you until you get back the money. Now you are already creating an entitlement mentality, thank God she is sane to an extent. It's always funny somehow, when a guy makes money he is looking for a lady to spend it on, often forgetting those who were there at their trying moment. And is not as if you intend marrying her, you just want to waste away your money because of segs. La continue

Search for agba John doe on Twitter and follow him

jasent:
Nairalanders, what’s your take on this?

Seriously... what's anyone's take on how you choose to do your CROSS-BORDER expenditure?

Must men have sex with every woman they are attracted to

That is why many of you enter wrong relationships and latter wrong marriages, but instead of blaming yourself, you blame marriage institution.

With long epistle you wrote up thr, it clearly shows two things.
1. The girl doesn't love you an inch, but reluctant to date you because of free money she is getting from you.

2. The girl and her family will eventually become leech on your neck, in which, you won't be able to sustain going forward.

Fiscus105:
That is many of you enter wrong relationship and latter wrong marriage, but instead of blaming your self, you blame marriage.

With long epistle you wrote up thr, it clearly shows two things.
1. The girl doesn't love you an inch, but reluctant to date you because of free money she is getting from you.

2. The girl and her family will eventually become leech on your neck, in which you won't be able to sustain going forward.

I can feel it

jasent:
I can feel it

Young man, I understand you need sex...invite her for more rounds of sex and move on.

We call it lust.

Fiscus105:
That is why many of you enter wrong relationships and latter wrong marriages, but instead of blaming yourself, you blame marriage institution.

With long epistle you wrote up thr, it clearly shows two things.
1. The girl doesn't love you an inch, but reluctant to date you because of free money she is getting from you.

2. The girl and her family will eventually become leech on your neck, in which you won't be able to sustain going forward.

Clear as day. She only came to give him some because she had a special request. When did any long chase relationship become successful if not one sided.

You’re already investing and she hasn’t invested anything. Hope you’re doing it out of humanitarian duty not “for your girlfriend” motive?

Hmmm 🤔 What I have seen, only the gods can speak.
🚶‍♂️

OP is asking for the skill set and employability of the girl's sister and friend and he'll be the sole provider, no privacy....it'll be too much to handle if they don't settle in on time.

jasent:
Good day, Nairalanders.
Please, I need your honest opinion on this matter.

I met this girl about a year ago when I went to purchase some goods at her workplace. She was really caring and even helped me carry some of the goods to the roadside. When I tried to tip her, she refused.

At that time, I was living in Ivory Coast, so after returning there, I chatted her up and expressed my interest in her. She initially agreed to date me but later changed her mind.

When I later visited Nigeria, she came to see me at my hotel. However, she didn’t allow anything intimate to happen. On several occasions when she visited, each time I made a move, she would walk out without even asking for transport fare. I would always call her back to ask why she acted that way, but her reasons were never clear.

Still, I kept supporting her in my own little way, even though I knew deep down she might never accept me. When I started getting tired of the situation, I told her I was moving on.

At this point, I had already rented an apartment close to the Benin Republic border — I chose that location because the electricity is stable and the rent is paid quarterly, with no agency fees.

Last week, she chatted me up asking if I didn’t want her to visit. I told her I did, but that I’d prefer someone who could spend a few days with me. She agreed to spend two days.

However, on the morning of the day she was supposed to come, she messaged me again, saying she had changed her mind and wouldn’t be sleeping over — but that when she came, I could “ask for anything.” Long story short, she eventually came, and that was the first time we had sex.

Now here’s where the issue starts.

She currently lives with her biological sister and a female friend. When she came, she told me that she, her sister, and their friend wanted to move in with me because they didn’t have money to rent their own place. I actually liked the idea and agreed. I even spoke with her sister about it.

But now, her sister and their friend have changed their minds. They say they prefer to move back to the East rather than come live with me. I even offered to pay three months’ rent for them in a similar apartment here, but they still refused.

Mind you, the reason I wanted them to move closer was so they could find something doing here — unlike their current situation, where they’re broke and dependent. Whenever I send my girlfriend ₦15,000, it barely lasts two days because she’s the one taking care of the rest since they’re not working.

How long can this continue?

Now, my girlfriend isn’t really the problem — her sister and their friend are. They don’t want her to move in with me, and she also can’t make any move without their consent. I’ve now decided not to rent any place for them in Lagos.

Nairalanders, what’s your take on this?

Lol them done use this one but he's yet to realise it. You're even assuming she's your babe and her sister and friend are the enemies of progress here. What you don't know is it's just a collabo

Meanwhile my interest is that so called place where you have stable light and quarterly rent. Where is the place oga? How's the security there? Cos the way things dey go lately come be like i be mu² to these heartless landlords here

This Boy, you get problem oh.
Don't try that oh, if you want to help her just help her, remove that word my girlfriend. For me find work for her, close so that she can be staying in your place for the main time, bringing three of them or even paying for them. You have not help.

That girl wey dey suffer you, nah the same girl somebody don chop tired, make girl no dey move you or play you smart games, be a Man.

There seems to be an epidemic of brainlessness plaguing Gen Z boys. OP, what you posted, read it again yourself carefully.

Is this the brain you use to cross the road? How have you managed to survive this long?

Dem no dey tell blindman say rain dey fall 😁.
What a caring and loving man

Dogalmighty17:
There seems to be an epidemic of brainlessness plaguing Gen Z boys. OP, what you posted, read it again yourself carefully.

Is this the brain you use to cross the road? How have you managed to survive this long?

Truer words have not been spoken.

budaatum:
Let's first be clear about something. The reason you want your "girlfriend" (I love how you slyly promoted her by the way), to not move so far away is because she'll not be so easily accessible.

Now that's clear. What exactly do you want?

And how much you willing to pay?

That second question is because you might want to consider putting the sister and friend on your pay roll plus their rent.

First, I want to ask, are you a guy or a lady?

Secondly, are you joking or you are truly serious with this bolded?

jasent:
I can feel it

Do you meant you want to shoulder the responsibilities of 3 female adults? A lady you met, her sister and her friend? They even added an extra person.

Go and watch some Geh Geh videos on YouTube, follow Agba John Deo on twitter and read his old posts, search for okanstalk_official on instagram and take time and watch most of his videos if not all and learn.

I will tell you this. This is a wrong investment you are about to make. It won't end well trust me. Carrying responsibilities of 3 full grown women in your shoulder will not only drain you financially but also will wreck you emotionally.

Stay away from jobless girls. Don't make yourself the Messiah that will save them. Learn from the experiences and histories of others who had toured this same path. Research about how things ended.

Please how can I unread this?

OP, how old are you?

No try use this kind brain train small children o

jasent:
I can feel it

You're probably new to the dating game.

See how a girl is playing with your emotions using mind games back to back and you easily fell for it and still continuing falling for it.

We don't have advice for you here. You'll learn the hardest way with time

Dogalmighty17:
There seems to be an epidemic of brainlessness plaguing Gen Z boys. OP, what you posted, read it again yourself carefully.

Is this the brain you use to cross the road? How have you managed to survive this long?

It amazes me. The last set of men prolly ended in the 90s. What we have now are weak boys with low self esteem. I wonder too how he managed to survive this long.

OP wan turn himself to mosquito wen dey invite wicked slap !!

I know you're thinking of a possible sexual loopholes within them, so that you can use to penetrate (two-threésome, cheating with them in secret, which is very sweet ) them, badt guy ! But e go cost your pocket o...

Wise up man , dont be a man thats lost all in the name of Love. Have you asked your self this question ? Some body that has not yielded to your lustful desire , how comes it is now she came that she allowed you and finally Boom , house rent came up. Use your head .

We have to start opening guys eyes . They should not settle for less .
Imagine , its not your work to feed any body , hope this same person is taking good care of his people.

VillagePipu:
You are sending 15k to her. How much have you sent to your mother?
If your father saw 30k from you, won't he be happy?

That 15k is probably x4 of what your brother slaves for a full month before earning.

Avoid dating poor people.
Avoid dating children of poor people.
Avoid dating friends of poor people.
Avoid dating jobless people.
Avoid dating jobless children of poor people.

You are not UNICEF, you are not WFP. You are not Ministry of Humanitarian Affairs.

Your job is not to feed and take care of poor people.

Experience they say is the best teacher, no matter advice you get here is of no use to you.
You only want validation to go ahead with it. Life will teach you only your mother, blood sister and any other random stranger deserve your money.

Not the fake manipulator’s that you call girlfriend or woman.

Wisdom