₦airaland Forum

Over time, I’ve noticed a strange contradiction among a high number of women who proudly wave the banner of feminism — especially those with thriving careers or businesses.

They speak eloquently about equality, patriarchy, and misogyny, yet in practice, many still seek the traditional privileges they claim to reject.

You say men and women are equal — yet you expect him to be the provider, to shoulder the bills, protect, and lead. You preach independence, but your definition of partnership still revolves around a man’s resources and emotional strength.

In my experience, some of the most dependent women I’ve known — emotionally, financially, and physically — are also the loudest self-proclaimed feminists.

Let’s be honest: knowing the vocabulary of feminism isn’t the same as living by its principles. True equality is not in slogans or hashtags — it’s in the choices and responsibilities one is willing to share.

And maybe that’s the uncomfortable truth, that beneath the labels and ideologies, most women still crave structure, leadership, and the security that comes from a man who provides.

Perhaps the problem isn’t that they don’t believe in equality…
Maybe it’s that equality is easier to demand than to practice.

This is what i term the Feminism Paradox.

What do you think?

This feminism paradox seems to exist only in your mind, is what I think.

Dpsychologist:
➜ You say men and women are equal — yet you expect him to be the provider, to shoulder the bills, protect, and lead. You preach independence, but your definition of partnership still revolves around a man’s resources and emotional strength.
➜ You say men and women are equal — yet you expect him to be the provider, to shoulder the bills, protect, and lead. You preach independence, but your definition of partnership still revolves around a man’s resources and emotional strength....

The woman contributes physical labor — maid service, incubator service, nanny service, emotional therapists... all these labors entitle her to compensation, which is to come from the resources that the man is to provide for both entities in the marriage.(Labor laws require that individuals be adequately compensated for all labor done; a wife is not a slave after all.) If it is a partnership, why are the resources tagged as belonging to the man when it is instead meant as marital communal income/property?

Does the woman's emotional labor carry less worth than the emotional labor the man is expected to equally contribute to the relationship, which he is a partner in? 🥱🥱

2. For reasons best known to them, a man and woman can come together to create a family where one partner — either the man or the woman — can be the full-time provider while the other lives as a stay-at-home(home care service provider) to cater to the needs in the household. There is nothing anti-independence about that configuration. That, in and of itself, should not take away the independence of the individual same way being an employee of a company should not strip you of your independence.

Kobojunkie:
This feminism paradox seems to exist only in your mind, is what I think. The woman contributes physical labor — maid service, incubator service, nanny service, emotional therapists... all these labors entitle her to compensation, which is to come from the resources that the man is to provide for both entities in the marriage.(Labor laws require that individuals be adequately compensated for all labor done; a wife is not a slave after all.) If it is a partnership, why are the resources tagged as belonging to the man when it is instead meant as marital communal income/property?

Does the woman's emotional labor carry less worth than the emotional labor the man is expected to equally contribute to the relationship, which he is a partner in? 🥱🥱

2. For reasons best known to them, a man and woman can come together to create a family where one partner — either the man or the woman — can be the full-time provider while the other lives as a stay-at-home(home care service provider) to cater to the needs in the household. There is nothing anti-independence about that configuration. That, in and of itself, should not take away the independence of the individual same way being an employee of a company should not strip you of your independence.

You are here again
Just like MTN.

Dpsychologist:
➜You are here again Just like MTN.

Oh! So, you created a thread, and I am not supposed to post a comment? Let's all try to stay focused, OK!

Kobojunkieee:
Oh! So, you created a thread, and I am not supposed to post a comment? Let's all try to stay focused, OK!

That thing you want me to do, i won't do it.

Women love the idea of leading but are not properly equipped to lead. Once given the baton, they cry foul and blame men if they eventually fail🤦‍♂️
🚶‍♂️

Hahahaha. Another table to be shaken. Modern wannabe feminists only want equality where it is convenient and beneficial to them.

This is why we don't see women fighting for equality in hard labor jobs like Mason, Car Mechanics, Miners, War Front soldiers, etc.

In the US for example, there's a law called "military draft" for only men to be sent to wars, modern feminists all over the US never fight that law to be equitable.

Dpsychologist:
➜In my experience, some of the most dependent women I’ve known — emotionally, financially, and physically — are also the loudest self-proclaimed feminists.
➜ Let’s be honest: knowing the vocabulary of feminism isn’t the same as living by its principles. True equality is not in slogans or hashtags — it’s in the choices and responsibilities one is willing to share. And maybe that’s the uncomfortable truth, that beneath the labels and ideologies, most women still crave structure, leadership, and the security that comes from a man who provides. Perhaps the problem isn’t that they don’t believe in equality… Maybe it’s that equality is easier to demand than to practice.
➜ This is what i term the Feminism Paradox. What do you think?

1. In today's world, there are lots more men out there who find themselves as stay-at-home husbands in the provider-type relationships. Such men are rightly not described as submissive, dependent, or under their wives. That's because these men are equals in such relationships to their working wives. Their situation can be likened to that of two business partners who share the dividends of the marriage, including the paycheck brought in from the one partner being able to work outside of the house together. The same applies to women who seek equality in those semi-traditional roles — stay-at-home wives.

The same way being dependent on your boss for your salary DOES NOT make you less of an independent human being, is the same way a man or a woman who decides to be a stay-at-home parent/partner can be in the type of relationship you described while maintaining even his/her financial independence. (In such settings, financial abuse, along with every other kind of abuse, is unacceptable.)

2. True equality can also exist in Provider-relationships. (This is removed from the traditional configuration where the woman is subjugated— expected to submit and have the man as her leader.)

3. No paradox here, just so many wrong assumptions made on your part regarding the relationship type you seem to pretend can go only one way.

Kobojunkieee:
Oh! So, you created a thread, and I am not supposed to post a comment? Let's all try to stay focused, OK!

kobojunkie, are you a male, female,bisexual, transgender etc. I have a gift for you if you can give me the correct answer.

Guy man, u de waste de go small small but you think people of nairaland really care cos of few likes? Bro look for something to keep you busy so u can have little time to judge others and more time to focus on yourself. When u start interacting with ladies platonically u will knw say big tech babes full Nigeria. I knw a keke driver who got married to a lash technician and introduced him to her business, they’ve been married for over 6yrs nw and are very easily in the middle class. Bro, wen u get close to some Naija babes and they bet n like u, it’s a whole new world entirely, make I let u knw say babes get connections pass guys… After God ehn, fear (respect) woman.

Nlfpmod what do think

Dpsychologist:
Over time, I’ve noticed a strange contradiction among a high number of women who proudly wave the banner of feminism — especially those with thriving careers or businesses.

They speak eloquently about equality, patriarchy, and misogyny, yet in practice, many still seek the traditional privileges they claim to reject.

You say men and women are equal — yet you expect him to be the provider, to shoulder the bills, protect, and lead. You preach independence, but your definition of partnership still revolves around a man’s resources and emotional strength.

In my experience, some of the most dependent women I’ve known — emotionally, financially, and physically — are also the loudest self-proclaimed feminists.

Let’s be honest: knowing the vocabulary of feminism isn’t the same as living by its principles. True equality is not in slogans or hashtags — it’s in the choices and responsibilities one is willing to share.

And maybe that’s the uncomfortable truth, that beneath the labels and ideologies, most women still crave structure, leadership, and the security that comes from a man who provides.

Perhaps the problem isn’t that they don’t believe in equality…
Maybe it’s that equality is easier to demand than to practice.

This is what i term the Feminism Paradox.

What do you think?

They don't believe in equality.

They say they do but really all they want is the right to scream equality which makes men uncomfortable thereby giving them their way to get what they really want.

And what they really want is for men to bow to them and serve them and give them all that he has and is.

vdestro:
They don't believe in equality.

They say they do but really all they want is the right to scream equality which makes men uncomfortable thereby giving them their way to get what they really want.

And what they really want is for men to bow to them and serve them and give them all that he has and is.

So apt coming from a lady 🍹
🚶‍♂️

SpencerForbes:
Women love the idea of leading but are not properly equipped to lead. Once given the baton, they cry foul and blame men if they eventually fail🤦‍♂️
🚶‍♂️

Before divorcing my ex wife,when things got to a heady halt with her equality vibes and all that. I asked her to take position as family head and lead....bills,responsibilities and freedom inclusive. She refused blatantly and insisted it was a mans duty to provide for her but not to lead her....I made the divorce plan speedy after that single episode.

vdestro:
They don't believe in equality.

They say they do but really all they want is the right to scream equality which makes men uncomfortable thereby giving them their way to get what they really want.

And what they really want is for men to bow to them and serve them and give them all that he has and is.

Terrible mentality!!

An independent woman. What does that even mean?
It’s complete nonsense. It’s idiotic to even talk about that topic.
Any of those so-called “independent women” — I could instantly put them into one of the fairly common situations from my own life and watch them cry helplessly.

This whole story about feminism and “strong women” is the biggest stupidity imaginable — something only women could believe.

Come on, here’s an example:
Find the best-priced mechanic and a pair of rear brake discs for your car, and get it all done without being ripped off.
Then find a butterfly board that’s nowhere to be found — and buy it for half the price.
Go, earn money, save it, manage it.
Money. Property. Can you?
Sure — but maybe 3% of women can do that.

The other 97% are desperate.
And those 3% don’t even have partners.

Remember that story about that woman with a chicken farm, bragging about it?
Looking for a husband, setting all sorts of conditions, God knows what.
We all laughed.

goran3310:
An independent woman. What does that even mean?
It’s complete nonsense. It’s idiotic to even talk about that topic.
Any of those so-called “independent women” — I could instantly put them into one of the fairly common situations from my own life and watch them cry helplessly.

This whole story about feminism and “strong women” is the biggest stupidity imaginable — something only women could believe.

Come on, here’s an example:
Find the best-priced mechanic and a pair of rear brake discs for your car, and get it all done without being ripped off.
Then find a butterfly board that’s nowhere to be found — and buy it for half the price.
Go, earn money, save it, manage it.
Money. Property. Can you?
Sure — but maybe 3% of women can do that.

The other 97% are desperate.
And those 3% don’t even have partners.

Remember that story about that woman with a chicken farm, bragging about it?
Looking for a husband, setting all sorts of conditions, God knows what.
We all laughed.

Hello bro, I do enjoy your dairy.
You wrote that it seems war is going to happen in Serbia, why did you say so? What is brewing over there?