Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone (2206 Views)
| Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Unclebayo(op): 9:37am On Oct 26, 2025 |
Hey guys… Why did we always go with the girls that don’t care about us and leave the ones that has pure heart for us. A man sent 250k to a lady and she replied with seen and same man sent launch to another lady and the girl wrote a long epistles thanking him and appreciating the love.. But guess what the man will still go with the one that wrote seen.. I’m currently in the show that’s why I don’t blame him… I know a girl that loves me so much but I don’t have feelings for her and I still don’t knows why, this girl can do anything for me to survive Yet I’m not even replying her messages. Why ? 😢 8 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Sonnobax15(m): 9:40am On Oct 26, 2025 |
 It's a natural phenomenon...... But not until we lost the one who truly loves us to the arms to another man,it's only then we learn our mistakes but by then it'd have been too late... 12 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by always247: 9:45am On Oct 26, 2025 |
it happens when the one who loves no get big nyansh 9 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by LIVINGICONREBOR: 9:46am On Oct 26, 2025 |
Dude, try go church. Nah only God wey fit save us from this great tinubulation. 🥱 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Nobody: 9:51am On Oct 26, 2025 |
Psychologically, men often have a conquering instinct. When a woman readily shows affection, it can feel like an easy win, diminishing the sense of challenge or value. Conversely, pursuing someone who's hard to get can amplify the sense of achievement; once "won," there's often a strong desire to protect and value what was attained. Economic Parallel In economics, the scarcity principle suggests we tend to value things more when they're harder to obtain. This principle can apply to interpersonal dynamics too – things easily gotten might seem less valuable, while those requiring effort feel like prized achievements. I know it sounds counterintuitive to "brotherhood" norms, but I've often joked that ladies should play hard to get if they want to be valued – but don't take it to extremes😁 🚶♂️ 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Solofresh2: 9:58am On Oct 26, 2025 |
Unclebayo:It's normal.We are humans but let me make something clear to you.That feelings you have for that person will die with time so you have to be very logical when dealing with things like this as a man. You should be going for someone who loves you not someone you love.The reason is because the person who loves you will do anything to protect you and make you happy as a man.You will always value respect as a man.The lady who doesn't love you will hardly respect you. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Joeboypondeck(m): 9:58am On Oct 26, 2025 |
 LIVINGICONREBOR: |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Unclebayo(op): 10:07am On Oct 26, 2025 |
Solofresh2:but what if the lady that loves you isn’t so attractive? 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kaczynski: 10:32am On Oct 26, 2025 |
dating based on monetary incentives is a recipe for disaster . worse dating a woman because she is attractive or has big buns . its sweet dating a woman of the same intellectual capability as you. woman go day bring up better gist like existence of god, capitalism, veganism, molevular organisms etc hardly marriages of intellectuals fail . 1 Like |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by eepeepook: 3:05pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Everyone loves challenges. Life is easy, complicating it is exciting. If he catches that challenging one, sure pregnancy straight. He can always call the other one for knacks, a massage or whatever. That is boring. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Solofresh2: 3:39pm On Oct 26, 2025*. Modified: 8:17am On Oct 28, 2025 |
Unclebayo:She is not attractive to you abi? She is attractive to other guys.Do you know the number of guys in her dm looking for her attention? Let me share my story with you.There is this particular lady I liked and know.I used to gift her stuff and sometimes some money.She appreciates it and comes closer but I can sense she doesn't like me.Though I was gifting her are things I can do away with like, things I can gift comfortably.So I challenged her one day that she doesn't like me etc and she started distancing herself.Shestopped picking my calls, she stopped replying my messages.She never initiates a message with me. Meanwhile, there is this particular lady at my former place of work who has been giving me green lights of which am aware of but I don't find her attractive.I don't gift her anything oo.The guy gifting her stuffs at my place of work, she no send am. So I decided to stop calling and texting the the lady I find attractive.It wasn't easy and it was painful because I genuinely love that girl.So for like one and a half month,I didn't contact her and I gave the other lady a chance during this period even though I didn't like her but the things she do for me make me start getting interested in her. The lady I liked noticed I stopped calling her and she is my church member.She started making indirect moves till she couldn't take it anymore and one youth vigil she was like can we talk? and I replied ok. She started acting nice or like she cared but I acted nonchalant which she noticed. She was now like "You don't like me anymore" and I replied "like you as how?am I your boyfriend?". She said I don't care about her anymore and I replied yes I don't and she almost cried 😂 She said any relationship she enters now must lead to marriage that she is of marriagable age.Though she is older than I do but she is still a youth like me. She later agreed to date me and all this while I have started dating the other lady who i don't find attractive but they transferred her to another branch which she not happy with but I felt pity for her not love Meanwhile, the lady I liked has grown into me and she has begin to like me so well and we are still dating till now knowing fully well I broke someone heart  So my point is that if you don't find her attractive don't give her hope Give the lady you find attractive space. Don't date out of pity.Its better to remain single 8 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by goran3310(m): 3:58pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Unclebayo:Because you’re stupid. It’s your ego. You’re letting your ego control you. If the girl who truly loves you isn’t extremely unattractive, then there’s absolutely no reason to reject her and chase after someone else — someone with whom, I guarantee you, you’ll never be happy, even if she agrees to be with you. Take my words very seriously. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kobojunkie: 4:30pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Unclebayo:1. Sigh! You folks and fixating on the meaningless things needs to be studied. There is nothing wrong with the gal who responded with "seen", nor does it mean there is something special with the girl who thanked the man by way of an epistle. Since you are not the man, know that there is an entire context that you may be missing from that story that may be of importance to how he interprets it all.  2. A girl loves you, yet you feel nothing for her. That is absolutely OK and commonplace. Unrequited love is as old as love itself. There is no rule that one must love someone who loves them back. If you appreciate her, be honest with her about how you don't have any love for her, so she can go work on that obsessive energy somewhere else. Simple! |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kobojunkie: 4:33pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
goran3310:Nonsense and eegridient! Are you sure you are OK? OP will never be happy with a girl he settles for. Nobody out there ever is. F-k all those tales by moonlight stories your ancestors fed you about how you should marry a woman who loves you more than you love her. The fact and reality of things is that such unions never work for the happiness of those who make such compromises. If you are not the one in love with your partner, you will never find happiness in that union, try as you may. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by placeofallure(f): 5:52pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Unclebayo:This question is for your fellow men to answer. I believe a sane man should be able to read between the lines whether he's wanted or not. There's a man who was trying with me. We've never met. I don't know but he wanted to throw money around. He kept sending money. He was persistent so I allowed him spend his money. Later he was disturbing me about traveling down to my base. I blocked him and he got the message. After a few months, he got in touch via another means. He was asking why I was like that. I told him I wasn't in the mood to talk to him, that I'm broke. The only condition I'd talk to him is if he'll send another money. He did and I blocked him again. He has stayed blocked since then. Some men no dey quick hear word. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kobojunkie: 5:55pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Unclebayo:Why would you want to date or marry someone you are not attracted to? Why not go find someone else you love and are attracted to, and who also loves you back? Why do you feel you need to make an issue out of what is clearly a non-issue?  If you like a lady but she does not like you back, do you think it would make sense for her to force herself into liking you in return? Hopefully, your answer should be a NO! Why then would you think you should like this gal simply because she likes you? |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by placeofallure(f): 6:04pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Correct one hundred percent! That's pretence. That's role playing, not real. I can't even pretend to like you when I don't. Ko le work! |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by goran3310(m): 8:08pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:Okay. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Nobody: 8:45pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Ignore this advice at your peril. Marry the woman that loves you! You don't send her? Good. That's what she wants. The one you're chasing is also chasing another guy who doesn't send her.. Solofresh2: 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kobojunkie: 9:04pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
Solofresh2:That feeling someone else has for you will also die with time. Are you conveniently ignoring this fact? 2. Settling for someone you don't love because the person loves you will always backfire. It did with our grandfathers and grandmothers, our fathers and mothers, and continues the same to this day. It never ends well for people in those sorts of relationships. 3. Someone who gives and gives and gives of themselves without even getting back the bare minimum in return — you can't give love to a person you do not love — will eventually reach their limit. And when that limit is reached... |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by pansophist(m): 9:29pm On Oct 26, 2025 |
There is a maturity level you will reach, that you wont even look twice at a woman you have to convince or is not putting reasonable effort to build something with you. If you respect yourself and have honour, then you will naturally gravitate toward women who also respects themselves and have honour. Which also means that such women will not put you on a long thing if they do not like you. Such women will not eat your money, will not waste your time and will not give you blurry signals that will make you wonder if you have a chance with them. You wont even have their account number in the first place. Her actions, availability, discourse and vibes will leave no space for misinterpretation of her intention. You wont be trapped in such quagmire, because she is not playing that game with you. The fact that you are in a situation where you are not sure of your position in a woman's life, while she is also eating your money, is the only evidence you need to know that you are dealing with a low quality woman, and also your tolerance to such vibes proves you lack respect for yourself, and potentially a foolish man. A lion don't do sheepish things. A self-respecting man will not be caught in this nonsense. So move on, and stop blaming it on life. You can leave that situations now if you want to. You are a player in this game, so play your part well. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Silentgroper(m): 1:26am On Oct 27, 2025 |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Tenrack: 1:28am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Atleast you get girl wey love you. People like us no even see who like us. Lol. |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by galantjoe(m): 2:18am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Misplaced love priority To be frank, that one that show you love and care, one that writes long epistle of gratitude and one that is kowtowing when greeting you; hmm she is doing it just to get you and disfranchised you from one you truly loved. Once you re in with her, she will show you her true color. It happened to me, it wasn't funny at all. I am still battling with wrong choice I made based on fake love she showered to me Beware, not all glitters is gold |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by haggai247: 3:54am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Whether you like it or not hear it now before you open the book of lamentation months from now. The girl wey love you na she you fix make cum 10 times on bed ooo. Woman wey no send you wey you dey pursue like Hussein bolt na disasters ooo. You fit open thread like this. After getting pregnant my wife has refused to sleep with me. I only get sex once a month My wife is not sexually attractive should I divorce her. My wife said sex is not food that I should allow her rest. If these are all you desire then my all means keep chasing women. Keep using your money to attract them like honey attract bee. We will be here to read your comments. Women should be the once to chase you as a man your job is to screen her well like a banshee will screen a slave before purchase...(My oga like that word eee banshees) Woman wey no feel anything for man already has someone who has her heart(she is a hoe to someone else) That person who fuc$ her brains out any day anytime and any position. But for you using trap( money or wealth) she will be there only to secure the bag. If you like as a man hear me if you no like no problem. Speaking from experience have lots of married ex still trying to get in touch. I no dey do another man wife knowingly that's why I move on. Life dey easy the things you chase will always ALWAYS ALWAY RUN FROM YOU. THE THINGS YOU ATTRACT WILL ALWAYS COME TO YOU. which would you want? |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by FitCorper: 7:12am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Unclebayo:Advise: “keep women u love for fun purposes n keep the one who loves you for marriage”. Those ladies that can move mountains for u grow extremely cold when dem no send again. |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Juliearth(f): 8:53am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Unclebayo:This is pure psychology. Avoidant attachment us the reason why men love and marry b***ches. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Dzzzz: 9:03am On Oct 27, 2025 |
My girlfriend presently loves me more than I love her..That’s why she fights me more than her I do to her but I like it that way..The people we love already know we can’t do without them so they mess up anytime they feel like but when someone loves you more,she will want you to be the best in what you do..I was down last week and babe came to see me with better stew and soup and she still drop me 15k.. |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Solofresh2: 9:21am On Oct 27, 2025 |
Kobojunkie:You make fair points, but let me reframe it with an analogy. Imagine you have two business partners. One is a 'feeling' a charismatic idea you're excited about, but they never show up to work or deliver. The other is less flashy, but they are reliable, invested, and show up every day to build something with you. My advice wasn't "marry the reliable one even if you hate them." It was: "Stop pouring all your capital into the failing venture out of attachment to an idea. Direct your energy to the partner who is already building with you, because that's where a real, lasting enterprise (or relationship) is actually constructed." The 'feeling' for the person who gives you 'seen' is an addiction to the drama of the chase. The potential with the person who appreciates you is the foundation for a genuine, lasting bond. You're choosing the architect over the mirage |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by fattprince(m): 1:10pm On Oct 27, 2025 |
goran3310:Omo I'm in such dilemma now. There's this lady I like on our street, she is very pretty and a new entrant in the street. The first day I saw her was at a small store, she was there when I came so as I asked for what I wanted to buy she looked at me and continue to stare till I almost got uncomfortable. I wasn't sure if that was an attraction tho I felt it was(like 60%). Then I met another lady that came later to our street in the same house with the first one. The first day I saw that one I was 80% sure she likes me with the way she acted. I asked the second one out she agreed and we started dating until later when we were talking and the talk entered the first lady matter. The lady that likes me that we are dating now, mistakenly told me that the first one is crushing on me. The reason why I asked the second one out was because I was just sure she likes me and the first one if I ask her out and she turn me down, I would have blown my chances with the second one. But now I really don't think I love the second one though and she's already thinking of marriage and having children with me but I still continue to indulge her maybe I might change my mind later to love her. |
| Re: Why Does This Happens To Almost Everyone by Kobojunkie: 3:33pm On Oct 27, 2025 |
FitCorper:And then Nigerians wonder why most Nigerian married men end up abusers of their wives. 🙄🙄🙄 2. And when they become your enemies after years of you using them, you still play the victim, right?? 🥱🥱🥱 |
After 4years Of Tryin She Finally Says Yes. But This Happens! • I Lasted 6 Rounds On Her, And This Happens... • When You Take A Girl Out On A Date And This Happens • 2 • 3 • 4
Obsessed Lover. • Confusing Love With Desperacy And Foolishness • The Future Of Nigerian Men: