₦airaland Forum

Hi community 👋🏽,

A member reached out seeking guidance on the possibility of in-laws to be the reason for divorce
Please share your thoughts, experiences, and culturally grounded advice.
Let’s keep responses supportive, respectful, and focused on healthy boundaries and solutions. 💛

bulunton:
➜Hi community 👋🏽, A member reached out seeking guidance on an important topic:
What are the reasonable responsibilities of a wife toward her mother-in-law, and what responsibilities should a mother-in-law have toward her son’s wife?
➜ They are also asking for advice on whether a woman should remain in a marriage where the husband’s family openly dislikes her, and the mother-in-law allegedly engages in harmful or manipulative behavior towards her.
Please share your thoughts, experiences, and culturally grounded advice.
Let’s keep responses supportive, respectful, and focused on healthy boundaries and solutions. 💛

There are no set-in-stone boundaries for all couples in marriage except those that generally apply to all human beings. Individual boundaries should be respected even in marriage by all family members, regardless of the title of the Individual in question.

A wife is free to decide to go no contact with her mother-in-law if she deems it best for her situation, another could choose to be best friends with her mother-in-law. It all depends on the particular dynamics of the relationship a wife or husband finds themselves in.

Marriage no be do or die! Keep this in mind when relating to those who become family with you by marriage. If you find you are no longer able to tolerate or deal with others due to either their toxicity or yours, the best thing you can do for yourself and everyone else involved is to find your way out ...run away to secure personal peace and joy. 🥱🥱🥱

Mother should off her hands in monitoring son immediately he marries.

Wife should stop behaving the husband fall from sky(no money should go out to his siblings)

Mother should realise, son's house is not her home but her husband's house.

Wife should remember one day, she would become mother-in-law.

Mother should stop expecting his son would spend more money on her than he spends on his wife. Only fragments will come to her

You can never see topic about Husband and Father's in-law...

Female Gender wahalaa up and down

The West has only done well, when it comes to man-made inventories; tech, science, weapons, etc. But very confused on a lot of natural things; marital problems, culture, etc..

While in Africa here, we're next to nothing when it comes to man-made production (thanks to the use**ss leaders we have), but excellent (so to say) when it comes to nature and supernatural; culture, belief system, marriage, etc..

But we have been ignoring what we're supposed to learn from the Whites, while entertaining/accommodating what we're supposed to reject! And that would be our greatest undoing as Blacks. Eg, Y'all can see how we are having marital crisis every now and then, women don't want to be women anymore and men getting confused by the day, falling for cheap manipulations from women, who are using western way of life as a guide..

Any man way nor geh sense go suffer for woman hand! Na so I talk am reach...

Caution, that gender is naturally possessed 💯. Leave them to eat themselves

The husband needs to be man enough by talking to both separately on their role in your life as your wife and mother

There must be separation of roles

Fiscus105:
Mother should off her hands in monitoring son immediately he marries.

Wife should stop behaving the husband fall from sky( me and my husband)

Mother should realise, son house is not her home but her husband's house.

if I may ask why should mother hands off

the issue I see here is that most young and just married ladies act as if they will never become mothers one day.

the truth is wife can never replace mother the same way husband cannot replace father.

you as a wife understand the family you are married into before you start setting rules

Sam2310:
You can never see topic about Husband and Father's in-law...

Female Gender wahalaa up and down

Seriously…!
It's always the females.

Yes and no!

In-laws could be a reason for divorce if the inlaws and wife weren't in a good relationship before the marriage and if the inlaws still have a say in the couple's decision making, which is not supposed to be so.

Be respectful, respect is reciprocal.
Do not poke nose into extended family issues except they seek your opinion
If the family didn't like you before marriage - don't bother marrying their son or daughter; it's a big battle you might not win; it could lead to loss of life or divorce. Some families can go to the extent of killing you or your children.
If anyone avoids you because not everyone likes you - avoid them and respect them from distance
Never compete with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law: your roles are different.
Make sure you are busy doing something as a daughter or mother -in-law; It begets respect and avoid idle sit-around that can cause minor offences
In kitchen, if you happen to live together for a while- be considerate especially when mama wants to cook her own way(please allow her) It aids family bonding


A special case is a mama's boy. So be ready to be deaf and dumb or remain non-existent till your husband matures to be the family man you expect

/
Try as much as possible to separate your wife from your in-laws.

It should be a cordial relationship based on respect. They should cross path socially if necessary.

Why? To avoid see finish.

/

Sam2310:
You can never see topic about Husband and Father's in-law...

Female Gender wahalaa up and down

They will sit down with some bottles of understanding and watch football

Sam2310:
You can never see topic about Husband and Father's in-law...

Female Gender wahalaa up and down

lol e be things oo really.

By all means care for and provide for your wife, but she must never get in between you and your mother just as you don’t get between her and her mom. Just be careful of a fair-weather wife that wants to drive a wedge between you and your mom, so you will be vulnerable for the take down.

bulunton:
Hi community 👋🏽,

A member reached out seeking guidance on the possibility of in-laws to be the reason for divorce
Please share your thoughts, experiences, and culturally grounded advice.
Let’s keep responses supportive, respectful, and focused on healthy boundaries and solutions. 💛

Though I'm not an authority in this field, one thing I know is that in-laws can vert much lead to the annulment of a union. A man should be able to define boundaries between his wife and his family. Not abandoning the latter, but ensuring that they understand the new arrangement. This is necessary especially if the in-laws "do not like" the wife

Juliearth:
✓ Though I'm not an authority in this field, one thing I know is that in-laws can vert much lead to the annulment of a union. A man should be able to define boundaries between his wife and his family. Not abandoning the latter, but ensuring that they understand the new arrangement. This is necessary especially if the in-laws "do not like" the wife

How many men do what you say ? Not many that is why the women should instead be informed of her powers in marriage as well. 🥱🥱🚈

Kobojunkie:
How many men do what you say ? Not many that is why the women should instead be informed of her powers in marriage as well. 🥱🥱🚈

A woman knowing her powers in a marriage with a man who doesn't understand his woman's right in tantamount to gross failure. It is the responsibility of a man to stand up and man up... or do you also want to push this simple tasks to wives Those "balls" aren't meant solely for what you know them to do, they are also for situations such as this one.