I've notice it from my neighbor that when the wife have started to provide for her family and the man is not generating any fund and benefits the wife start nagging and making lot of trouble but if it's the the man that paying all the bills and caring for the family it become normal. Why is it like this pls.

Cos it aint normal.

Cos a woman needs guaranteed financial security..from her man...no woman likes to wake up to uncertainty financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually....

Cos it's a misnomer! The same way a man will complain if he starts running d home n caring for d kids. Hope u get me

Women naturally want to be on the receiving end of favours. They want to be pampered, provided for, and given gifts...essentially, it's in a woman's nature to be cared for.
Now when these roles are reversed and the woman becomes the sole provider, she almost always reaches her breaking point.

Mind you, a woman in this situation might not complain or show any signs of discomfort but trust me, the day that woman gets really upset by her less privileged husband, every single feeling of dissatisfaction that she has ever felt, coupled with the fact that she keeps running into other women who show off their gold, designer shoes and bags, cars, and other perks given to them by their husbands...will come out.

By my statistics, only 1 out of every 20 women is able to stay humble and completely selfless when they are the sole provider/financier in their household over a long period of time.
Heck, women nag and complain even when they're being provided for, not to mention when they're the ones doing the providing.

I tell you, no man should ever have to depend on his wife or girlfriend for more than 6-12 months at a stretch, no man....unless he can stay that long without upsetting her one bit, because if he does, the things that will come out of her mouth regarding his situation will be unbelievable.
I wouldn't wish that for my enemy

Money moves everything in them and around them. When she makes more marriage difficulties jump and divorce rates rise by 50%.

They complain because in many such cases,the men don't take up the other responsibility of home keeping. Finance isn't all that's needed in a home. Getting it is 50percent of the work in the marriage.
When it's all left to the woman,the man should shift focus towards doing the wife's duty in the home.

But most won't.so in essence it's like leaving 100percent of the work to the woman.
And no one likes to be alone in a marriage.

BTW men complain too when all the financing is left to them. Some Even go as far as abusing their wives because they feel they are dependent and can't survive without them.
That's why all women are adviced to be independent to avoid abuse or minimize the effects of abuse. If men weren't complaining and bashing their wives because of dependence,that message won't be making the rounds to the ear of every growing 21st century female.

So OP do your research well. Men complain A LOT too. If all the spending is left to them. FACT!

No one should leave all financial responsibility to the other unless they have an arrangement and agreement that is fair to both of them where one makes all the money and the other faces all the other aspects of the marriage.

Duties and roles of couples in a matrimonial setting need not be further extended save in cases where one of the couple is some how financially incapacited.ofcourse a man knows his duties and so is his wife.these are all acquired knowledge no one needs to define to them.but what happens if the presumed man who is saddled with the role of looking after d family becomes handicapped financially while d wife is some how buoyant? If and only lf love exists amongst themselves and is seen to have existed,and such a woman is seen to be making effort to do the man's role,then I would opine that she keeps all squabbles within themselves.evry soul is being tested by its creator every now and then..its left for the wise ones to know that.Yeh some men too complain..but i find that immature.why complain on your duty?assistant is inevitable in every household.but when a couple flares up his role to be more of the other,then the grip of d union is about to crash.some wedding crashers look for small opportunities like this to invest in a unions destruction.

ty444: Cos it aint normal.

re they not suppose to be one and sharing everything together

Mutuwa
you spoken very well. I presume you are married.

Blessedwhite: Mutuwa
you spoken very well. I presume you are married.

Yes sir.For 6yrs now.

Because instead of being supportive, you men decide to add insult to injury by being LAAAAAAAAZY and controlling.
In their "LOOZA MENTALITIES", they are quick to forget that SHE who plays the piper chooses the best kind of DANCE!
He would nag too, if he came home to dirty house and children while bringing home the BREAD, SAUSAGE, BACON, BUTTER, TEA, SUGAR AND MILK!

Blessedwhite:
re they not suppose to be one and sharing everything together

of course they are,not the husband sharing from the wife.

Cococandy
i disagree on the shift of duty . For an urhobo man like were i came from that is unrealistic . And men complain but not to the notice of neighbours

you don't turn a bottle upside down and expect it to be stable.

Remember they are just one of many of our bones. She is not created to run a family instead to support it.

So in your fair analysis,if the man leaves bread winning to his wife,what should be his contribution in the home?

If it is unrealistic to expect him to do that,isn't it also unrealistic to expect the wife to do his job?

Blessedwhite: Cococandy
i disagree on the shift of duty . For an urhobo man like were i came from that is unrealistic . And men complain but not to the notice of neighbours

ty444: of course they are,not the husband sharing from the wife.

lol
when ever we share things one person alway make sacrifices for the other pls note this

Kanwulia: Because instead of being supportive, u men decide to add insult to injury by being LAAAAAAAAZY and controlling.
In their "LOOZA MENTALITIES", they are quick to forget that SHE who plays the piper chooses the best kind of DANCE!
He would nag too, if he came home to dirty house and children while bringing home the BREAD, SAUSAGE, BACON, BUTTER, TEA, SUGAR AND MILK!

that is true

cococandy: So in your fair analysis,if the man leaves bread winning to his wife,what should be his contribution in the home?

If it is unrealistic to expect him to that,isn't it also unrealistic to expect the wife to do his job?

sometimes we have to go out of our limit to make a success . So i understand you stand

Tallesty1: Money moves everything in them and around them. When she makes more marriage difficulties jump and divorce rates rise by 50%.

but what abt the kids

crackhaus: Women naturally want to be on the receiving end of favours. They want to be pampered, provided for, and given gifts...essentially, it's in a woman's nature to be cared for.
Now when these roles are reversed and the woman becomes the sole provider, she almost always reaches her breaking point.

Mind you, a woman in this situation might not complain or show any signs of discomfort but trust me, the day that woman gets really upset by her less privileged husband, every single feeling of dissatisfaction that she has ever felt, coupled with the fact that she keeps running into other women who show off their gold, designer shoes and bags, cars, and other perks given to them by their husbands...will come out.

By my statistics, only 1 out of every 20 women is able to stay humble and completely selfless when they are the sole provider/financier in their household over a long period of time.
Heck, women nag and complain even when they're being provided for, not to mention when they're the ones doing the providing.

I tell you, no man should ever have to depend on his wife or girlfriend for more than 6-12 months at a stretch, no man....unless he can stay that long without upsetting her one bit, because if he does, the things that will come out of her mouth regarding his situation will be unbelievable.
I wouldn't wish that for my enemy

so it is because the man get her mad that is why we hear this loud tongue of war

You skirted around the issue to avoid answering my question.

Life is not black and white and so situations may vary. You didn't seem to have a problem with a situation where the wife is the bread winner but according to your culture it is unrealistic for the man to be a home keeper. Why isn't it unrealistic for the wife to be the bread winner too.

So let me ask you again. In your fair analysis,if a couple find themselves in a place where the wife has to be the sole bread winner,what should the man bring to the table in support of the marriage as it take two to make it work?

Blessedwhite:
sometimes we have to go out of our limit to make a success . So i understand you stand

soonest: Cos it's a misnomer! The same way a man will complain if he starts running d home n caring for d kids. Hope u get me

thanks can you be a little bit more clear in your point of view

Like i said. You need to break the limits to succeed. They have to discuss and make plans on how the family should be run. Or maybe set up a committee to look into their issues

Blessedwhite:
lol
when ever we share things one person alway make sacrifices for the other pls note this

he who fail to provide for his house is worse than an infidel this is coming from a biblical point of view that is to show u how abnormal and inappropiate it is,under normal situations the man is xpected to wrk no matter how insignificant his contributions are,the only way he can or shuld be exempted is when faced with bodily or imposed barriers such as prison sentence,severe injuries, amd others

Blessedwhite:
thanks can you be a little bit more clear in your point of view

Wots there to make clearer? Kanwulia has elaborated it.Answer cococandy's question! She has said it all.

ty444: he who fail to provide for his house is worse than an infidel this is coming from a biblical point of view that is to show u how abnormal and inappropiate it is,under normal situations the man is xpected to wrk no matter how insignificant his contributions are,the only way he can or shuld be exempted is when faced with bodily or imposed barriers such as prison sentence,severe injuries, amd others

i know the verse but life is not a script that we act out. Is it that the man is happy that he can't provide for his family ?

Blessedwhite:
i know the verse but life is not a script that we act out. Is it that the man is happy that he can't provide for his family ?

not all things are beyond our capabilities,we should strive to make all things normal and logical inas much as we can.

Cococandy hope i've answered your question

Blessedwhite: Cococandy hope i've answered your question

you're kidding aren't you?

Blessedwhite:
i know the verse but life is not a script that we act out. Is it that the man is happy that he can't provide for his family ?

What are you even saying? Dnt tell me you are a lazy man fending off his wife as i have noticed in some men. So you have no problem with a woman being the head and house keeper at the same time? Then of what use the man in the picture? doesnt that make the man useless altogether? Na wa for your kind of mentality o. Lazy man mentality. I weep for your wife.

i will be honest. I believe in gender roles. I have listened to arguements against it and to me, those arguements dont hold water very much.

Haven said that, it is important to note that we need to begin to see house chores beyond the gender thing to which we have reduced it. Let us begin to see it as things we need and must do so as to keep things in good state.

It is only when we see things this way that we, men, will be able to carry out works that are traditionally meant for women. There is nothing wrong with it.