₦airaland Forum

Unfaithful husband?, In Africa?, Nawa o women don see men finish

ariesbull:
My cousin ended her five-year marriage the day she found out her husband cheated. We all begged her to think twice, to calm down before walking away. But she was done. She packed her things, took her two kids, and left.

For a year, the man went from one relative to another, begging for forgiveness. He apologised, promised to change, did everything a repentant man would do. But she stood firm. “I deserve better,” she said.

She got her own place, started afresh, and later met a married man who treated her well. For a while it looked like she had found peace until his wife showed up one morning and scattered everything. The man disappeared, and she was left humiliated.

Not long after, another man came along. He stayed just two months before running off when money became an issue. No message, no explanation.

Then came an Alhaji who promised marriage but only if she sent her sons back to their father. He said he could not raise another man’s children. She ended it right there.

Three years later, she woke up one morning and asked herself, what if I go back? The man still loved her, the kids missed him, and maybe time had softened her heart.

So she went to his house early that morning, ready to reconcile. But a pregnant woman opened the door. Her ex-husband had moved on.

It has been over ten years now. The woman who once turned heads no longer does. The suitors stopped coming. Her kids are back with their father, cared for by their stepmother who now has two of her own.

Life does not always give you a second chance. Sometimes pride takes what pain never could.

Maliq

If na me be the man I go marry 4 wives join

biblical knowledge most men are polygamous.
No ask me. Ask king Solomon. Oh!! I forget e wise pass you. (The wisest man) na Bible talk am.

Moral of the lesson
any way any how........sha have money

Another cock and bull story stupid ass Nigerian men love to read to feel better about themselves. So she didn't know the husband had since remarried, she has to go crawling back to see the pregnant new wife. Tupical Nollywood bullshit produced by Tchidi Okereke. That one's speciality is to gaslight women to remain in bad marriages.

LilMissFavvy:
I pity w0men wh0 lack direction. If a woman was married for years, has children and left her marriage for good reasons, why then should she bother about remarrying? Maj0rity 0f men have n0thing good to offer, they are like a cur$e. I always tell myself that if for any reason I become divorced, that I will never remarry again.

Financial Independence is important, if a woman is able to foot her bills she can always live a peaceful life with her kids only. I'd rather be a single mother living with my children,, than live with a cheating hu$band, infact his mere $ight w0uld irritate me.

That's where social media fairytale is different from reality. Women that leave bad marriages hardly go man-hopping to sustain themselves (except that's what they were doing before leaving the marriage), they roll up their sleeves and hustle hard. The op portrayed the woman the way most Nigerian men see women; a mumbo dumbo that can't live without man.

I saw everything I needed, im from a polygamous home

Kobojunkie:
Your father basically disrespected your mother and here you are praising her for condoning the blatant disrespect to her person over and over all in a bid to hold on to her Mrs. Badge no matter what. 😩😩😩😩

Are you sure you even saw that person you call your mother as a human being a any point while your father kept throwing poop in her face? Did you ever even love her? 🙄🙄🙄

Kobojunkie:
If your friend had simply stopped at starting afresh, instead of jumping headlong into meaningless relationships, she probably would have been better off.

Yes, she did the right thing by abandoning her abuser — the man who cheated on her. No woman or man should remain in an abusive relationship, no matter how much their abuser begs. Her mistake was in roping herself with other men afterwards without first ensuring she had properly healed from the previous abuse, and also her own lack of self-awareness and dearth of self-love.

2. Wrong, life more than gave your friend numerous chances at a second chance. She refused to take advantage of them to the fullest. Life has nothing to do with what became of your friend, as your narrative clearly shows. There are so many of our mothers and grandmothers who were literally abandoned in marriage, who went on to live better and more fulfilling lives outside of marriage out there as examples to any woman who wishes to use her second chance outside of marriage to her benefit.

Unfortunately, this story is typical of a certain kind of woman... the kind who doesn't know or even realize how valuable she is as a human being; this kind typically believes her worth is nothing until a man accepts her. It is a shame that professional psychotherapy is still not fully embraced by many in Nigeria.

---

Tell your friend it is not too late for her to pick herself and start over again loving herself first. That is the only way to heal and get her self in esteem back where it ought to be -- up high. No human is born needing others for validation and self worth. 🥱🥱

Lol 😂😆😂😆
Keep on capping

pocohantas:
There is also Annie Idibia who endured for years. I am not even sure Tuface had to beg her. Only to be kicked out at 40yrs. Una still blame Annie Idibia. So make una try rest with these stories aimed at gaslighting women to see infidelity as normal. If she was cool with him, she should have stuck to him. Some women have done it and heaven didn't fall.

What did she endured?
Did 2face beat her? Did 2face not provide food and money? Is he not training their children with good education and what have you? So, what did she endured?

Fountainofyouth:
So how does that affect you people's existence if she faces similar hurdle? Why does her life after divorce matter to y'all? Even if she remains single or she sleeps with whoever it is none of your business, keep your tales by moonlight stories of gaslighting and manipulation to yourselves, and accept the fact that women will continue to divorce their cheat of a husband because THEY CAN, very simple common sense.

hope u've caught urs and divorce him too

Fountainofyouth:
So how does that affect you people's existence if she faces similar hurdle? Why does her life after divorce matter to y'all? Even if she remains single or she sleeps with whoever it is none of your business, keep your tales by moonlight stories of gaslighting and manipulation to yourselves, and accept the fact that women will continue to divorce their cheat of a husband because THEY CAN, very simple common sense.

It's actually no problem for men, infact men should encourage this. The campaign they are doing is out of respect for women to give their husband who cheated a second chance and not leave cos grass may not be green anymore on the other side.

But if they still decide to leave, no problem. Randy men who are even more terrible than her husband are who she will have to roll with, supplying them with unending numbers of sex starved Opueh to aggressively ram.

Them no dey tell blind person not to cross express, body go tell am.

Idaytesj29:
What did she endured?
Did 2face beat her? Did 2face not provide food and money? Is he not training their children with good education and what have you? So, what did she endured?

More yawning...

Ttalk:
That story is a typical example of SE who feels Nigeria cheated her, she went into war but Nigeria forgave her and begged her to come back with a starter package to start afresh, but she was not pleased and always make reference to the initial misunderstanding, she nag and nag with every member of the family who are tired of her complex.

Now she back to take the position of the first wife but the a husband Nigeria has moved on.

Getting a second chance when occured is should be seen as miracle

Your assertions are baseless

Kobojunkie:
If your friend had simply stopped at starting afresh, instead of jumping headlong into meaningless relationships, she probably would have been better off.

Yes, she did the right thing by abandoning her abuser — the man who cheated on her. No woman or man should remain in an abusive relationship, no matter how much their abuser begs. Her mistake was in roping herself with other men afterwards without first ensuring she had properly healed from the previous abuse, and also her own lack of self-awareness and dearth of self-love.

2. Wrong, life more than gave your friend numerous chances at a second chance. She refused to take advantage of them to the fullest. Life has nothing to do with what became of your friend, as your narrative clearly shows. There are so many of our mothers and grandmothers who were literally abandoned in marriage, who went on to live better and more fulfilling lives outside of marriage out there as examples to any woman who wishes to use her second chance outside of marriage to her benefit.

Unfortunately, this story is typical of a certain kind of woman... the kind who doesn't know or even realize how valuable she is as a human being; this kind typically believes her worth is nothing until a man accepts her. It is a shame that professional psychotherapy is still not fully embraced by many in Nigeria.

---

Tell your friend it is not too late for her to pick herself and start over again loving herself first. That is the only way to heal and get her self in esteem back where it ought to be -- up high. No human is born needing others for validation and self worth. 🥱🥱

How did he abuse her? He only cheated

Predictor3:

Many modern women and girls forget that men have more latitude when it comes to finding new partners. When we tell them that women shouldn't cheat, they're always quick to say "what about men also? If men cheat then two can play that game" Ok, nao

When a man cheats and you tell the wife or girlfriend to be patient they tell you you don't know what you are saying. Now, look at this story. A fifty years old man has more chances of getting a new steady partner than a thirty years old lady

see, men are only attractive because of money, when a woman have good genes and can provide easily for herself, no desperation for companionship. A divorcee lady in mid-forties once visited my office, how the kids and her relate sef is attractive on is own. Nobody should think one gender is better, it things of the mind. Most ladies attracted to me now as a married man are just mostly looking for free money. My wife is pretty and smart, I don't think she would have a problem moving on except she creates unworthy expectations. I will find it hard moving on, because I naturally don't think I like those attracted to me and putting in effort into chances I hate it. I don't easily fall for emotions and I have quite some funny expectations that being young is better than, 33 years and be pretending to call oneself youth, remove money and attractions disappear.

She read a lot of nonsense from sex-starved feminists on the social media. Many women especially the Gen Zs will still go that way. One left the husband cos he cheated. Today she is dating a married man whose family is not far from hers.

ariesbull:
My cousin ended her five-year marriage the day she found out her husband cheated. We all begged her to think twice, to calm down before walking away. But she was done. She packed her things, took her two kids, and left.

For a year, the man went from one relative to another, begging for forgiveness. He apologised, promised to change, did everything a repentant man would do. But she stood firm. “I deserve better,” she said.

She got her own place, started afresh, and later met a married man who treated her well. For a while it looked like she had found peace until his wife showed up one morning and scattered everything. The man disappeared, and she was left humiliated.

Not long after, another man came along. He stayed just two months before running off when money became an issue. No message, no explanation.

Then came an Alhaji who promised marriage but only if she sent her sons back to their father. He said he could not raise another man’s children. She ended it right there.

Three years later, she woke up one morning and asked herself, what if I go back? The man still loved her, the kids missed him, and maybe time had softened her heart.

So she went to his house early that morning, ready to reconcile. But a pregnant woman opened the door. Her ex-husband had moved on.

It has been over ten years now. The woman who once turned heads no longer does. The suitors stopped coming. Her kids are back with their father, cared for by their stepmother who now has two of her own.

Life does not always give you a second chance. Sometimes pride takes what pain never could.

Maliq

I know this never happened... that's why it is a stupid write up. You just put it that every woman needs or wants a man to make her happy and fulfilled.
Maliq you are a liar

So if the man had not moved on with another marriage, she had expected the man to take her back after she has traded herself around? Let her enjoy her 'freedom' as she desired.

As na woman, wey decide to leave a cheating husband this story would NEVER be written with nice ending. The agenda has always been to encourage women to remain married no matter the challenges they face at home.

Towma:
Will you give your own daughter this kind of advice?

while not?

Pennilessword1:
I know this never happened... that's why it is a stupid write up. You just put it that every woman needs or wants a man to make her happy and fulfilled.
Maliq you are a liar

Things worse than this has happened many times. Enter Agidigbo for Ibadan or perternity or couple's court online, you'll watch tire!

Kobojunkie:
So when your wife eventually cheats on you, what you will do is find the problem and solve it so you can continue on in marriage, right? 🥱🥱

If you find it difficult to comprehend all I wrote up but interested in just picking out a few words to wimp an uncouth narrative, well, I can not help you. If only you could read between the lines, you would understand. However, why are you even on my mention? I wasn't referring to you, neither was I referring to your gender.

This is none of your business. Those who need what I wrote already understood the message I passed across.

pocohantas:
There is also Annie Idibia who endured for years. I am not even sure Tuface had to beg her. Only to be kicked out at 40yrs. Una still blame Annie Idibia. So make una try rest with these stories aimed at gaslighting women to see infidelity as normal. If she was cool with him, she should have stuck to him. Some women have done it and heaven didn't fall.

What really did Annie Idibia endure for years? You ladies will never cease to amaze even the devil

GloriousGbola:
another made up story

you think in this decade i need to go to my ex house to know he/she is married? when we have facebook, instagram whatsapp status?

and you want to give us the bs story of a kind step mother

in this nigeria??

there is only one real moreal to your made up story - and that is that a woman should ensure she is not financially dependent on her husband

as for the husband - if he actually now has four children - he is not smart at all in this decade. na the first two pikins go suffer am pass

That's how your own life story will be termed 'made up' by others whoke you suffer in real life if you don't desist from destructive feminine ideologies.

Fountainofyouth:
So how does that affect you people's existence if she faces similar hurdle? Why does her life after divorce matter to y'all? Even if she remains single or she sleeps with whoever it is none of your business, keep your tales by moonlight stories of gaslighting and manipulation to yourselves, and accept the fact that women will continue to divorce their cheat of a husband because THEY CAN, very simple common sense.

Whether you like it or not, Women will always Remain under scrutiny cos there Fidelity or infidelity have a significant influence on the overview of family household

Lets take look at all these women that Divorced cos of a cheating " Spouse" ...what do they endup doing

Imagine has expose as Tiwa savage is, Saying she wont mind to be a 2nd Wife ... is that not cheating
shey naa pocohantas dey pray make her husband marry 2nd wife .. how does Tiwa intend to be a 2nd wife without " cheating " in the process

So many single mothers out there, what are they doing they end up as mistress to someone else husband But they left there man cos according to them he was cheating .. Women those gender are very funny

xest:
How did he abuse her? He only cheated

Cheating is not only a blatant violation of the marriage vow -- a complete dismissal of it, but emotional abuse that denied the other spouse of a say in whether he/she wishes to be put in such a potentially damaging -- emotionally and physically (sex diseases) --predicament.

When a man or women is cheated on that devastating emotional and mental blow never leaves them even after the cheater chooses to apologize and change his/her ways. Now imagine having to live with an unapologetic and unrepentant cheater as a wife or a husband and you can only imagine how damaged the spouse being cheated on ends up -- a shell of their former self, probably unable to heal from it all for a very long time.

lilsmart:
If na me be the man I go marry 4 wives join biblical knowledge most men are polygamous.
No ask me. Ask king Solomon. Oh!! I forget e wise pass you. (The wisest man) na Bible talk am.

Because most men are kings of the Nation of Israel formed by Moses who were allowed to have many wives by the Law of Moses, abi? 😩😩😩

There ought to be.a law ....🥱🥱🥱

Amumaigwe:
What really did Annie Idibia endure for years? You ladies will never cease to amaze even the devil

Abeg swerve.
Na women wey pander to una I pity.

yemre:
If you find it difficult to comprehend all I wrote up but interested in just picking out a few words to wimp an uncouth narrative, well, I can not help you. If only you could read between the lines, you would understand. However, why are you even on my mention? I wasn't referring to you, neither was I referring to your gender.
This is none of your business. Those who need what I wrote already understood the message I passed across.

Simple question and you begin dey foam for mouth😩😩

Again, when your wife eventually cheats on you, what you will do is find the problem and solve it so you can continue on in marriage, right? 🥱🥱🥱