₦airaland Forum

Dpsychologist:
Let’s cut through the noise.
This trend of ladies humiliating men during public proposals isn’t accidental. It’s a predictable fallout of modern relationship dynamics.

Here’s the core truth:

Men don’t propose blindly.
A man will NEVER stake his pride in a public setting unless he has been given clear emotional signals that the relationship is serious.

Forget the “men are foolish” narrative.
Nobody invests in a stock that showed no signs of growth.

Most of these guys were LED ON.

A modern woman can:

Make herself available
Cry on your chest
Act loyal
Call you her peace
Make you feel like the chosen one
…while quietly grooming her actual contender on the side.

Some women have mastered emotional manipulation to the point where:

You think you’re her best man
Meanwhile YOU are the side mission
And another guy is the main project


Your girlfriend might also be another man’s girlfriend.
Your “exclusive” relationship may be a parallel structure.

This is why during a surprise proposal:

She hesitates
She freezes
She panics
She starts calculating


Why?
Because she’s not thinking about YOU…
She’s thinking about the other guy watching that proposal video online.

Public proposal ≠ romance anymore.
It’s now a risk assessment moment for many ladies.

She’s asking herself:

“What if my Plan B sees this?”
“What if my main boyfriend finds out?”
“What if my other talking stages get ruined?”

And at that point of confusion, she makes a quick strategic decision:

Sacrifice the clown and Protect the King.

Not because you’re a bad person…
But because you were never the priority.
You were the insurance policy.

The world has changed.
The dating market is now a multi-lane expressway, not a single-file road.

Men need to wake up.
Women make decisions based on how they feel right now, not what you sacrificed last year.

I have never seen it from this perspective. This is an eye opener. May God bless the OP.

Dpsychologist:
The Untold Truth Behind These Public Proposal Rejections

OP,

Kindly go and work on yourself and thinking.

Engage ur brain and create a good space for yourself in a business niche.

Don't make d countenance of a woman ur ultimate goal (an error), you are supposed to create a direction that will inspire energies to the woman.

Push urself to the limit and become a High Networth individual and stop kneeling down up and down before ladies that don't have any direction.

Let ladies be fighting for your attention in many places. Pick the best from the lot after a good assessment. Stop disgracing urselves.

I don't blame the ladies period. Do some ladies be playing the guy who proposes in public? ... no doubt. But don't make it out to be like that is the main reason. Where did this kneeling to propose come from? ...how common was this in the last century? ... African men kneeling to propose? This has never been part of our culture. Now here we are mimicking what we see on screen and want to own it. Most of these guys doing such are either soft emotional men ... too much estrogen.... Air men who think they have invested enough money into the relationship and believe it's time to lay ownership. Fools left kneeling with ring in hand everywhere.

Any lady who slaps a man kneeling for her for whatever reason is a "Witch" and men should run very far away from them. Even if you don't want to accept the proposal, be nice, pull him up and just say no, you're not ready. Common, be nice ladies.

"Dear Kings, you are the prize."

Shior. Dey deceive una sef with online propaganda. Kuku go and marry your fellow "prize" make we hear word.

Basicend:
OP,

Kindly go and work on yourself and thinking.

Engage ur brain and create a good space for yourself in a business niche.

Push urself to the limit and become a High Networth individual and stop kneeling down up and down before ladies that don't have any direction.

Let ladies be fighting for your attention in many places. Pick the best from the lot after a good assessment. Stop disgracing urselves.

Criticisms, criticisms, criticisms.

Said someone who hasn't even created a topic of their own here.

Spewing stuff when you know nothing about me, not even my name.

kpankpangolo:
Zzz. There is one scenario you didn't imagine: the possibility of the videos being skits for entertainment. I don't believe everything I see online.

Everything no be skit.
I've been there in a mall when one girl slapped one foolish guy proposing to her

wonder233:
You spoke the truth.
The ladies are so used to multiple partners that they can't fathom really committing to one man. Yes, they envisage getting married someday, but how and to who, they've not given that a thought. For now, they just like having all options on the table, and still leaving the table for more potential suitors. Marriage isn't really the ultimate goal for them, they love been discovered by new people, the thrill of going on new dates, a new talking stage, the niceness that comes with the novelty, that faux special feeling.

I saw this firsthand with my ex wife, just a few months into marriage, she was already missing badly the feeling of being ogled over by a new person, nothing I did could substitute, it has to be a new person or nothing. So when I caught her having an affair, I didn't let the fake tears manipulate me, I didn't let the fake anger and blame shifting gaslight me. I stood my ground and simply walked away and never looked back.

You did the right thing bro. She would have done worse if you looked away then or forgave her.

Dpsychologist:
Criticisms, criticisms, criticisms.

Said someone who hasn't even created a topic of their own here.

Spewing stuff when you know nothing about me, not even my name.

I don't need to create any topic.

You may see my words as hard. It's your choice.

You can continue seeking d countenance of ladies that cant even see a way for themselves.

If you have very good investment on your person, you will understand that most ladies are the ones that will bring proposals to you. When you keep expanding at ur vision, ladies keep looking up to you.

My points are experiencial, so you may not be able to relate for now.

Ishilove:
"Dear Kings, you are the prize."

Shior. Dey deceive una sef with online propaganda. Kuku go and marry your fellow "prize" make we hear word.

'Any man who must say, "I am the King prize", is no true king prize.'

Lalami3232:
Na mumu dey kneel down for girlfriend just to propose. This kneeling down of a thing and white wedding no be our culture na. What do you even stand to gain by kneeling down? Our forefathers never did, even when their wives were virgins and not these loosed boreholes. But you wey be say you wan marry a babe wey numerous men don chop the nutrient finish from her kpekus na dey kneel down. Ask yourself this question, the guy wey she open legs to give her virginity to, how many kneeling down na the guy kneel? You're going to inherit what numerous people have eaten for free before and you're kneeling down. I'm not against marriage because it's a beautiful thing but abeg, oga carry your non-virgin (fairly used) partner enter house in peace. Everything negative na we must adopt for this part of the world. When it comes to the positive ones, we go reject am.

What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news of DNA test

I so hate all these stupid talk of "these and that not being our culture" it's just so disheartening.

In as much as those of you saying that shit keep putting on clothes that are not our culture instead of using leaf to cover your body as being our culture, then it's high time you all stop that culture nonsense.

Riding on cars aren't our culture, trekking is - stop the usage of cars

Clock and wrist watch aren't our culture, sun and moon monitoring is - stop using clock and wrist watch.

Bed and sofa aren't our culture, sitting and sleeping on the floor or mat is - stop using bed and sofa.

Perhaps, let me leave you with this quote by Steve Job which states that "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking".

ALWAYS ALLOW PEOPLE TO DO WHATEVER WORK FOR THEM. IF THEY FAIL, SO BE IT, IF THEY WIN, GOOD FOR THEM.

Dpsychologist:
The Untold Truth Behind These Public Proposal Rejections

Let then continue sleeping! I detest weak men, my current wife was yapping " my friends are asking for our proposal videos". I told her to go marry her friends.

Imagine a scenario where
I kneel down to propose, pay up to 1m to buy traditional rites/bride price things, spend another 15m to 20m for wedding ceremony, spend another 100k for registry! Lmaoooo! Women should be the ones proposing.

wonder233:
You spoke the truth.
The ladies are so used to multiple partners that they can't fathom really committing to one man. Yes, they envisage getting married someday, but how and to who, they've not given that a thought. For now, they just like having all options on the table, and still leaving the table for more potential suitors. Marriage isn't really the ultimate goal for them, they love been discovered by new people, the thrill of going on new dates, a new talking stage, the niceness that comes with the novelty, that faux special feeling.

I saw this firsthand with my ex wife, just a few months into marriage, she was already missing badly the feeling of being ogled over by a new person, nothing I did could substitute, it has to be a new person or nothing. So when I caught her having an affair, I didn't let the fake tears manipulate me, I didn't let the fake anger and blame shifting gaslight me. I stood my ground and simply walked away and never looked back.

And that's why majority of them are ending up making wrong choices when it is time for them to settle down. The rate at which they're turning out to become single mothers is very alarming, lessons are being learned the hard way

GloriousGbola:
'Any man who must say, "I am the King prize", is no true king prize.'

Spoken with wisdom and maturity, as usual. As a literary sage once declared, "a tiger does not proclaim its tigritude."

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

Dpsychologist:
The Untold Truth Behind These Public Proposal Rejections

You said it all!

Dpsychologist:
The Untold Truth Behind These Public Proposal Rejections

NoahHadNoArk:
I’ve said it before, saying it now, and may likely repeat same in the nearest future……



Hang me by my feet and flog mercilessly till the blistering of the same, anyday you see me kneel to propose to any daughter of eve!


Dear Kings, you are the prize. Always know this……she kneels to serve you palm wine during your traditional marriage, what does that signify ?!


Some guys dey fùck up sha

like seriously 😒

Wolexyoshi:
I so hate all these stupid talk of "these and that not being our culture" it's just so disheartening.

In as much as those of you saying that shit keep putting on clothes that are not our culture instead of using leaf to cover your body as being our culture, then it's high time you all stop that culture nonsense.

Riding on cars aren't our culture, trekking is - stop the usage of cars

Clock and wrist watch aren't our culture, sun and moon monitoring is - stop using clock and wrist watch.

Bed and sofa aren't our culture, sitting and sleeping on the floor or mat is - stop using bed and sofa.

Perhaps, let me leave you with this quote by Steve Job which states that "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking".

ALWAYS ALLOW PEOPLE TO DO WHATEVER WORK FOR THEM. IF THEY FAIL, SO BE IT, IF THEY WIN, GOOD FOR THEM.

You don't get it. Their statements is borne out of the concerns for the rejections that are very common which is as a result of our ladies not knowing what they really want. It has public humiliation. It is a strange culture and its failure rate in our society is very high. Why not stop it if doesn't give the desired result?

This copy and paste mindset of the average African has continued to put many young men in embarrassing situations.

Whatever a European or an American does is good and acceptable.

Conversely, whatever is African is considered primitive, archaic and not romantic and must therefore be thrown into the dustbin of history.

First and foremost, it's un-African for a man to prostrate/genuflect before a woman he intends to marry.

In most cases, the man is senior to the lady he is proposing to in terms of age.

Genuflecting before her is therefore considered a taboo in African culture.

But, in the whiteman's culture is considered romantic and civilized and the copycat of an African young man blindly mimics the practice without any consideration of his own cultural background.

Dem (the ladies) never slap una reach!

Black-whitemen!




@hotseat

Kneeling down to propose isn't the issue though that wasn't a popular thing few decades ago. The point is that today's feminists are living in a fantasy world of their own. Feminism when I was young was just about equal opportunities. I don't understand this new idea of unnecessary competition with men. We have different but complimentary roles that help build loving, stable and progressive homes. But then, as they say, I'm old school.

A man who goes the extra mile to propose publicly deserves love and respect. He should be pulled up and hugged immediately if the woman truly loves him.

Men should watch out for subtle signals. Not every woman you love loves you. Some people are gamers and great pretenders. That works both ways sha. Men do the same. It's wise to propose privately first. Once there's any sign of reticence or rejection, there's no need to persuade or push on. There'll always be that one good person for you waiting elsewhere.

My money, my ring, my every financial resources that goes into relationship that you can ever imagined, and I still gotta bend a knee? Nah, not me son. Never gon be me.

I have said this before and will continue saying it, I'll disown my son if he kneels to propose to a woman. Not only because of the kneeling sef, but doing it in public and expecting clõwns to tell the woman "SAY YES!, SAY YES!!"


I got married without kneeling to propose to my wife and we didn't die.

The very fact that a girl can slap you while you’re on your knees, an almost unforgivable act, already proves these men deserved it. They lack the ability to choose well, and for that, they will suffer.

Even in the animal kingdom, if you look down, act in a submissive position, you’re forgiven. A lion for example will not hurt another lion that’s looking down and not signalling aggression.

But these dumb males have “dated” these demons, and interpreted their demonic qualities as virtues, going further to disgrace themselves by kneeling to evil, and act surprised when evil show its colours.

Even those that married virgin didn’t kneel down. But to knee down for a street, damn, this is beyond disgust. Next time, don’t privatise a public car, otherwise, you’ll get result like this

GloriousGbola:
'Any man who must say, "I am the King prize", is no true king prize.'

And that's on period.

I strongly disagree with your opinion.
How about those publicly successful proposals? Do you not think it is possible the lady may have worthy options?

For what it is worth, most women love the show of affection, public or private. And no woman, no matter how timid, would intentionally and publicly embarrass a man she loves, or sees as a future spouse, EXCEPT there are some untold stories.

These untold stories are the major reason for women rejecting men in public, and not necessarily because another soul mate exists or the urge to embarrass men. Some of these women don't even have trustworthy men to fall back on.

You see those catastrophically failed proposals where the man sometimes gets a slap in return?
It is very likely those sort of men have done something unpardonable or at least, something the lady in question cannot bear to spend the rest of her life with him, and my best guess is that such men have already gotten a never-propose,-because-I-will-not-accept notice.
It could be based on serial cheating, physical abuses, manipulations etc.

It may be unsurprising that the real victims in these failed proposals are the ladies who reject such proposals, and not the men who got rejected or even slapped, who, knowing they have done something wrong, would then ride on publicity stunts to further manipulate the girls and further ensnare them for life under the guise of a proposal.

For some ladies, the man has not shown willingness to settle down, and perhaps sensing she is fed up with the relationship, men would pull up the public proposal stunt to tie the woman down simply because he doesnt want to let go.

For some women, they may even love the man deeply, but know deep down they know he is not ready for marriage, and may never be ready in a long time, and rejecting a proposal is the hard truth both parties must bear.

Men use this as a strategy to tie women down, knowing fully well, the public chants of "say yes", "say yes", will turn them into pity cats and make it difficult for a woman to turn them down. It takes courage, and some hard truth for a woman to reject a man in public, and it is purely borne out of untold stories, and not based on intent to humiliate the man.

Men who are rejected know exactly why they are rejected, and deservedly so, it is not always what it seems.

wonder233:
You spoke the truth.
The ladies are so used to multiple partners that they can't fathom really committing to one man. Yes, they envisage getting married someday, but how and to who, they've not given that a thought. For now, they just like having all options on the table, and still leaving the table for more potential suitors. Marriage isn't really the ultimate goal for them, they love been discovered by new people, the thrill of going on new dates, a new talking stage, the niceness that comes with the novelty, that faux special feeling.

I saw this firsthand with my ex wife, just a few months into marriage, she was already missing badly the feeling of being ogled over by a new person, nothing I did could substitute, it has to be a new person or nothing. So when I caught her having an affair, I didn't let the fake tears manipulate me, I didn't let the fake anger and blame shifting gaslight me. I stood my ground and simply walked away and never looked back.

You be correct guy.
Your head dey there

Most of it is just to generate content and trend. A correct guy knows when a lady is going to accept his proposal. As for kneeling down , capital NO.

Lalami3232:
Na mumu dey kneel down for girlfriend just to propose. This kneeling down of a thing and white wedding no be our culture na. What do you even stand to gain by kneeling down? Our forefathers never did, even when their wives were virgins and not these loosed boreholes. But you wey be say you wan marry a babe wey numerous men don chop the nutrient finish from her kpekus na dey kneel down. Ask yourself this question, the guy wey she open legs to give her virginity to, how many kneeling down na the guy kneel? You're going to inherit what numerous people have eaten for free before and you're kneeling down. I'm not against marriage because it's a beautiful thing but abeg, oga carry your non-virgin (fairly used) partner enter house in peace. Everything negative na we must adopt for this part of the world. When it comes to the positive ones, we go reject am.

What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news of DNA test

I trust. OG's words are like the ones find in the bible.

Usmanovic95:
E no go better for the first African man to kneel to propose to a woman. He just created a stupid trend.

Lalami3232:
Na mumu dey kneel down for girlfriend just to propose. This kneeling down of a thing and white wedding no be our culture na. What do you even stand to gain by kneeling down? Our forefathers never did, even when their wives were virgins and not these loosed boreholes. But you wey be say you wan marry a babe wey numerous men don chop the nutrient finish from her kpekus na dey kneel down. Ask yourself this question, the guy wey she open legs to give her virginity to, how many kneeling down na the guy kneel? You're going to inherit what numerous people have eaten for free before and you're kneeling down. I'm not against marriage because it's a beautiful thing but abeg, oga carry your non-virgin (fairly used) partner enter house in peace. Everything negative na we must adopt for this part of the world. When it comes to the positive ones, we go reject am.

What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news of DNA test

Nah the kneeling down dey give these ladies moral to slap them

Lalami3232:
Na mumu dey kneel down for girlfriend just to propose. This kneeling down of a thing and white wedding no be our culture na. What do you even stand to gain by kneeling down? Our forefathers never did, even when their wives were virgins and not these loosed boreholes. But you wey be say you wan marry a babe wey numerous men don chop the nutrient finish from her kpekus na dey kneel down. Ask yourself this question, the guy wey she open legs to give her virginity to, how many kneeling down na the guy kneel? You're going to inherit what numerous people have eaten for free before and you're kneeling down. I'm not against marriage because it's a beautiful thing but abeg, oga carry your non-virgin (fairly used) partner enter house in peace. Everything negative na we must adopt for this part of the world. When it comes to the positive ones, we go reject am.

What do I even know sef aside enlightening my fellow men nationwide with the good news of DNA test

Guy!! More oil on your head.