₦airaland Forum

I always get this saying that African men are scared of successful women & women who earn more than them and I can't see myself do that even if it's true.
The reason some men are scared is because most women who earn more than their husband tries to pressure or make decision for their man to follow. If I was in that shoe, and I earn 500k and my woman earns 1million. My number one rule is to accept the money to run the family is 500k. In fact I won't admit any 1 million exist anywhere.
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So, the monthly feeding, savings, children schooling, maintenance, Transport, Rent (if I haven't built will) must be from that 500k and I won't demand or expect her to add 1 naira.
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She may add on her own volition, but the quality of everything we will live on must be on that 500k, and if she protest that 500k is not enough for the quality of food, school, or life she expect us to live by, na that time wahala go start. Because nobody can put my life in pressure and give me high bp, except she's ready to add from my money, and I must not hear any noise
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If my salary can only afford Eba and Panla, na the Panla we go chop, cos that's what I will provide. If the 500k can only afford public school, I will not go and kill myself and put the children in 300k school.
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So life is simple. She can enjoy herself with her 1 million. E no concern me. And you won't decide for me, it's what that 500k can afford we will manage. And I won't ask u one naira unless I want to borrow and payback for emergency

Funny enough, people who create this kind of discussion aren’t married yet and do not have any clue of how it happens inside marriage.
A man of reason will think of how to seize the opportunity to improve himself, increase his value and revenue through the support of the wife having a financial advantage than him.

Amotolongbo:
Funny enough, people who create this kind of discussion aren’t married yet and do not have any clue of how it happens inside marriage.

You would rather I asked money from the wife to live larger to her taste, so that she can wake up everyday as say she's the one feeding me and running the family.?
If na garri and ewa the 500k can provide, na the beans she go chop, if she can't, she's free to enjoy exotic dish with her money.

Amotolongbo:
Funny enough, people who create this kind of discussion aren’t married yet and do not have any clue of how it happens inside marriage.
A man of reason will think of how to seize the opportunity to improve himself, increase his value and revenue through the support of the wife having a financial advantage than him.

Support of the wife as how?
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A woman who will support you, you will know, because you won't have to beg or tell her, and she won't carry shoulder or disrespect you. If those women exist congrats.
Even for me to accept money from a woman, it must be borrow. Which I will return. Because 80-90% of marital problem usually start when a man start depending on a woman to run the family.

FreeSpirited:
I always get this saying that African men are

A wise man once said: in some marriages, the husband will be planning for the whole family, whilst the wife will be planning for herself alone inside the marriage

FreeSpirited:
You would rather I asked money from the wife to live larger to her taste, so that she can wake up everyday as say she's the one feeding me and running the family.?
If na garri and ewa the 500k can provide, na the beans she go chop, if she can't, she's free to enjoy exotic dish with her money.

To start with, are you married?

FreeSpirited:
Support of the wife as how?
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A woman who will support you, you will know, because you won't have to beg or tell her, and she won't carry shoulder or disrespect you. If those women exist congrats.
Even for me to accept money from a woman, it must be borrow. Which I will return. Because 80-90% of marital problem usually start when a man start depending on a woman to run the family.

Are you talking from the place of experience or envision?

Amotolongbo:
To start with, are you married?

My idea is straightforward and consistent with a man who is committed to running his family within his means, I don't know why this idea brings questionings, when I'm trying to avoid trouble of a richer woman

Amotolongbo:
To start with, are you married?

There's even no need to ask that question. It is very clear from his first statement and all others he's not even been in any serious relationship yet not to talk of getting married.

FreeSpirited:
My idea is straightforward and consistent with a man who is committed to running his family within his means, I don't know why this idea brings questionings, when I'm trying to avoid trouble of a richer woman

Cho Cho Cho, the question is simple; are you married?

JIGGERNAPPY:
Cho Cho Cho, the question is simple; are you married?

When your wife starts earning more than you, tell her to bring 50% of her big salary to support your poor ass and see if you will know peace in the long run

*Picks up the mic*

Marriage is partnership not sponsorship. If she wants to be sponsored, let her stay with her father. Full stop.

*Drops mic*

You can lecture her about helping in less rigorous roles. Put it in detail so that she see reasons in dem. It will prompt her to assist.
Its all about planing, even if you earn more.

FreeSpirited:
When your wife starts earning more than you, tell her to bring 50% of her big salary to support your poor ass and see if you will know peace in the long run

Why stress yourself asking? If she has a good head on her shoulders, she'll know you need to secure the bag and build that legacy for both of una.

Simple truth: A non-invested woman is a potential ghost. Any girl who isn't contributing to your growth/future will leave you. So, why wait? It's a game of chess, bro. Better to dump her first (or check her commitment) than to be left holding the empty bag when she eventually ports to a richer zone after you've lost everything.

SpencerForbes:
Why stress yourself asking? If she has a good head on her shoulders, she'll know you need to secure the bag and build that legacy for both of una.

Simple truth: A non-invested woman is a potential ghost. Any girl who isn't contributing to your growth/future will leave you. So, why wait? It's a game of chess, bro. Better to dump her first (or check her commitment) than to be left holding the empty bag when she eventually ports to a richer zone after you've lost everything.

My position is directed to partners in marriage though, not dating scenario

If I earn more than my husband and we lived in a rented house. I won't send our kids to public school no no no

I will take care of every thing concerning our kids education, I will take full responsibility of myself and contribute 30 percent of our feeding but my husband should be ready to pay rent and take full responsibility of other basic things

Funny enough my wife is a nurse and work in 2 different facilities, I trained her and paid all the bills while she was schooling without support from her family or mine and now she is working and financially doing ok more than me, so you are expecting me to still plan my family with only my income by the idea of this your post? ... The truth is that every family is unique and no family are the same, so what works for you might not work for me. To me this your post is a beautiful nonsense as far as my family is structured.

Diamond098454:
If I earn more than my husband and we lived in a rented house. I won't send our kids to public school no no no

I will take care of every thing concerning our kids education, I will take full responsibility of myself and contribute 30 percent of our feeding but my husband should be ready to pay rent and take full responsibility of other basic things

Then you are a good woman. If from your volition you will decide to do all that. May your home and life be blessed. I thought it was hard for a woman to willingly see the need to help out while earning well in a family. We need more women like you because I've seen countless time where a woman picks up or ask to pick up those responsibility you decide to handle and all hell is let loose on the husband that he's no longer respected.
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In my opinion, a woman who should help will see that need without being told, and if she has to be told or cajoled, then one has not married the right woman

FreeSpirited:
Then you are a good woman. If from your volition you will decide to do all that. May your home and life be blessed. I thought it was hard for a woman to willingly see the need to help out while earning well in a family. We need more women like you because I've seen countless time where a woman picks up or ask to pick up those responsibility you decide to handle and all hell is let loose on the husband that he's no longer respected.
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In my opinion, a woman who should help will see that need without being told, and if she has to be told or cajoled, then one has not married the right woman

this is family, this is home, husband and wife are one.

Diamond098454:
this is family, this is home, husband and wife are one.

Well, I will give a woman a chance to prove me wrong to act that we are one, that's the point of my practice of not asking her to commit her money, I believe a reasonable woman will do the needful and if she won't, then we can only manage whatever I bring

FreeSpirited:
Well, I will give a woman a chance to prove me wrong to act that we are one, that's the point of my practice of not asking her to commit her money, I believe a reasonable woman will do the needful and if she won't, then we can only manage whatever I bring

running a family is not just for one person . It may bring the person down, it takes two to build a home and it two to tangle

If a wife can't help her husband who will she help?

FreeSpirited:
Well, I will give a woman a chance to prove me wrong to act that we are one, that's the point of my practice of not asking her to commit her money, I believe a reasonable woman will do the needful and if she won't, then we can only manage whatever I bring

You’ve heard from the lady herself. They also know the truth but don’t act on it because of our ego but if you give the chance from the beginning, you’ll definitely choose the right lady.

Na men Dey mumu for relationship pass. Instead of us to scrutinize our partners, ‘we’re blinded by love and mad sex skills’

Diamond098454:
running a family is not just for one person . It may bring the person down, it takes two to build a home and it two to tangle

If a wife can't help her husband who will she help?

JIGGERNAPPY:
✓ Cho Cho Cho, the question is simple; are you married?

There are married people out there existing as op described even here in saner climes and they are doing well that way too. So, what problem do you have with his idea?

Unless you are ready to have your marriage contract redone and maybe even have your wife throw in a prenuptial for her sake, I suggest you stick to whatever original agreement you both has when you first got married. You don't expect her to add her money to the pot without expecting you to give up on many of privileges you once claimed in the marriage, do you?

Diamond098454:
✓ running a family is not just for one person . It may bring the person down, it takes two to build a home and it two to tangle
✓ If a wife can't help her husband who will she help?

Not when your marriage contract is traditional in the sense that the man is the provider while the woman is the submissive partner.

2. The woman can always help herself make her children at that. For instance, she can hire a maid to do her chores, a nanny to handle the kids and maybe even take them out regularly while she invests her time and energy into keeping herself looking good and on her business or job. 🥱🥱🥱

There are literally so many women out there doing exactly this, even female billionaires who live this way. 🥱🥱🥱

Diamond098454:
✓ If I earn more than my husband and we lived in a rented house. I won't send our kids to public school no no no
I will take care of every thing concerning our kids education, I will take full responsibility of myself and contribute 30 percent of our feeding but my husband should be ready to pay rent and take full responsibility of other basic things

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Good for you! But I wouldn't recommend this as the way to go for all women out there. 🥱🥱

Coly2012:
✓ Funny enough my wife is a nurse and work in 2 different facilities, I trained her and paid all the bills while she was schooling without support from her family or mine and now she is working and financially doing ok more than me, so you are expecting me to still plan my family with only my income by the idea of this your post? ... The truth is that every family is unique and no family are the same, so what works for you might not work for me. To me this your post is a beautiful nonsense as far as my family is structured.

You trained her therefore she is a mule for you? Yikes! The way you put it, ehn...🥱🥱

MarketDispatch:
✓ A wise man once said: in some marriages, the husband will be planning for the whole family, whilst the wife will be planning for herself alone inside the marriage

Some husbands also plan for themselves alone in some marriages, too.

Love800:
✓ You can lecture her about helping in less rigorous roles. Put it in detail so that she see reasons in dem. It will prompt her to assist.
Its all about planing, even if you earn more.

Lecture someone you claim to love after you have signed a marriage agreement that clearly spells out how things ought to go? Na women wey dey endure people with this mindset I dey pity the most. 🥱🥱🥱

Women are not built to bring the bread in the home where a man is there. What you will do is bring resentment to the woman. It is now becoming more of a thing where women are not only outearning men but also being the man in the house while the man takes the feminine role. We can't cheat nature. Men are providers, women are nurturers. If you let your woman babysit you at home, you are a weak man my friend. Do not get comfortable with that. Again, you need to realise that in the past, men married women in polygamous setting, some of who were richer than the man but those women knew what they wanted in a family and the role of a man in the family. Don't make this mistake. Women are okay working and being the sole provider but if you choose to be a deadbeat, you will beat yourself to dirt. These women realize that funding the man's lifestyle makes it easier for him to cheat and what's worse than a woman funding her competitor with her money? Women love structure, they love authority, they love to be inspired and you don't do that sitting down and letting her lead. Even where she earns more, she still wants you to provide. It's not a competition, it's nature.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRzw6Nsy6bI

Diamond098454:
running a family is not just for one person . It may bring the person down, it takes two to build a home and it two to tangle

If a wife can't help her husband who will she help?

You dey give me hope sha. Maybe hope dey about Nigerian women... B

Kobojunkie:
You trained her therefore she is a mule for you? Yikes! The way you put it, ehn...🥱🥱

using the word mule is just an irritating language to use for somebody's partner and help mate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q047opONC1s