₦airaland Forum

So I made this post more than 3 years ago.

I most say it has gotten worse!

https://www.nairaland.com/6965099/how-improve-relationship-people

My relationship with people is just zero.

I feel like people just choose to always be against me.
I keep making one mistake or the other when trying to choose people

Where I work… I am the most hated person

Nancyeke:
So I made this post more than 3 years ago. I most say it has gotten worse!
https://www.nairaland.com/6965099/how-improve-relationship-people
My relationship with people is just zero. I feel like people just choose to always be against me. I keep making one mistake or the other when trying to choose people

Did you ever seek the help of a professional mental health counselor to help unravel what your problem is there? You might even discover that you are not an introvert at all, but simply someone whose social life suffers due to depression and probably social anxiety. I did say this back three years ago, too, because you mentioned that you long to be in the company of others. Introverts typically don't do that. 🥱🥱

Nancyeke:
Where I work… I am the most hated person

. Ever pondered the nuance surrounding the supposed hate of your person by your colleagues? What is it that you think your colleagues are in fact saying that you interpret as hate from them?

Kobojunkie:
Did you ever seek the help of a professional mental health counselor to help unravel what your problem is there? You might even discover that you are not an introvert at all, but simply someone whose social life suffers due to depression and probably social anxiety. I did say this back three years ago, too, because you mentioned that you long to be in the company of others. Introverts typically don't do that. 🥱🥱

No it’s not like i long to be in company of others. Right from my childhood days. I would rather i remained indoors all through than to have anything to do with people.

[quote author=Kobojunkie post=137777041]. Ever pondered the nuance surrounding the supposed hate of your person by your colleagues? What is it that you think your colleagues are in fact saying that you interpret as hate from them? [/
They say a lot from different perspectives.

But the reality is I feel i am getting the wrong with them. Even though I feel I am right most of the times but I handle my reactions wrongly

Nancyeke:
➜But the reality is I feel i am getting the wrong with them. Even though I feel I am right most of the times but I handle my reactions wrongly

Well, that is the nature of mental illness. If you don't get treatment and don't do the work necessary to help you better cope or treat it with your mental health therapists, it is bound to continue getting worse over time.

2. You feel you are right most of the time, yet here you are three years later, announcing that you are actually doing much worse than you were three years ago.

Nancyeke:
➜No it’s not like i long to be in company of others. Right from my childhood days. I would rather i remained indoors all through than to have anything to do with people.

Trauma and abuse during formative years can cause you to retreat indoors and away from others. But what is more important here is that you are struggling mentally with something that has nothing to do with whether you are an introvert or not.

Kobojunkie:
Trauma and abuse during formative years can cause you to retreat indoors and away from others. But what is more important here is that you are struggling mentally with something that has nothing to do with whether you are an introvert or not.

What can I do

Nancyeke:
➜What can I do

Make an appointment to see and talk to a mental health professional— a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a therapist, or a mental health counselor) and ask for a formal diagnosis, obtain a treatment plan for your condition that works well for your schedule and make sure to stick to it until you are certain that your quality of life has been improved by it all.

Nancyeke:
Where I work… I am the most hated person

Even your mirror hates you too. 😂😁🤣

Nancyeke:
So I made this post more than 3 years ago.

I most say it has gotten worse!

https://www.nairaland.com/6965099/how-improve-relationship-people

My relationship with people is just zero.

I feel like people just choose to always be against me.
I keep making one mistake or the other when trying to choose people

I read your first thread and noticed you only responded to comments that agree you have a problem which means you're the problem. I will only say this once. You do not have any problems. It's all in that your head. Stop believing there's something wrong with you! I guess it's from your childhood but I don't care because it's a lie to belittle you, to stop you from attaining your full potential in life and it will work on you if you keep believing you're not okay.
LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE AN NEVER TRY TO FIT IN ANYWHERE. YOU WILL FIND YOUR TRIBE AND YOUR TRIBE WILL FIND YOU.

LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE AND FLAINT IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU WILL BEGIN TO TRULY LIVE AND EVERYTHING YOU NEED WILL COME AFTER.

If you like still dey believe say you no dey okay. You don't need anyone's love or acceptance anywhere. Erase that sissy mentality abeg. You will continuously be used and abused by everything and everyone if you continue like this. You're who you are and until you love yourself and appreciate your person no one else will take you seriously.

kiddaz:
I read your first thread and noticed you only responded to comments that agree you have a problem which means you're the problem. I will only say this once. You do not have any problems. It's all in that your head. Stop believing there's something wrong with you! I guess it's from your childhood but I don't care because it's a lie to belittle you, to stop you from attaining your full potential in life and it will work on you if you keep believing you're not okay.
LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE AN NEVER TRY TO FIT IN ANYWHERE. YOU WILL FIND YOUR TRIBE AND YOUR TRIBE WILL FIND YOU.

LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE AND FLAINT IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU WILL BEGIN TO TRULY LIVE AND EVERYTHING YOU NEED WILL COME AFTER.

If you like still dey believe say you no dey okay. You don't need anyone's love or acceptance anywhere. Erase that sissy mentality abeg. You will continuously be used and abused by everything and everyone if you continue like this. You're who you are and until you love yourself and appreciate your person no one else will take you seriously.

This sounds really good buuut we all have character defects and we must work on those defects and develop better ways to flow with life. Op (according to him) has anger management issues, is unable to regulate his emotions, and has low self esteem and thus struggles with every day life. Telling himself he is perfectly fine and loving himself isn’t going to change his defects. He needs to find videos online, read articles, and learn about self development. He needs practical skills not just self love.

Double0h7:
This sounds really good buuut we all have character defects and we must work on those defects and develop better ways to flow with life. Op (according to him) has anger management issues, is unable to regulate his emotions, and has low self esteem and thus struggles with every day life. Telling himself he is perfectly fine and loving himself isn’t going to change his defects. He needs to find videos online, read articles, and learn about self development. He needs practical skills not just self love.

Yeah it all begins with self love. When he loves himself he will be more confident, have good and healthier relationships with people around him, boost self esteem, reduce stress and anxiety that's eating him up already, better self-care and improvement, helps him create better and stronger boundaries, become less dependent on external validation, allowing him to be his authentic self and pursue greatness to mention a few. Nobody is coming to save anyone but yourself and all those his errors you mentioned can be corrected by self love. So he is fine and can begin to live fully by loving himself

kiddaz:
Yeah it all begins with self love. When he loves himself he will be more confident, have good and healthier relationships with people around him, boost self esteem, reduce stress and anxiety that's eating him up already, better self-care and improvement, helps him create better and stronger boundaries, become less dependent on external validation, allowing him to be his authentic self and pursue greatness to mention a few. Nobody is coming to save anyone but yourself and all those his errors you mentioned can be corrected by self love. So he is fine and can begin to live fully by loving himself

How do i love myself…

I ask this question because someone once accused me of been egotistical.
Because I corrected her been insensitive

Nancyeke:
How do i love myself…

I ask this question because someone once accused me of been egotistical.
Because I corrected her been insensitive

I think it's better you research that yourself and for the love of God stop bothering about what other people says or think about you so long as it feels good with your conscience fvck everyone else's opinions and thoughts

Nancyeke:
➜How do i love myself… I ask this question because someone once accused me of been egotistical.
Because I corrected her for being insensitive

Loving yourself has to do with rotating your validation compass so that it points inwards as opposed to pointing outwards for the validation you seek in life. You need to learn to accept and love yourself (flaws included) and train yourself to give yourself the cherishing, love, and admiration you need to have the healthy, productive life you seek. It requires you to engage in serious self-reflection, self-assessment, and self-acceptance— you also need to forgive yourself of all shame, guilt, disappointments, etc.— and from there build the confidence you need to live and thrive from the inside out, rather than continuing to seek it from the outside.

Why do you not want to seek professional mental health help for yourself?

Nancyeke:
So I made this post more than 3 years ago.

I most say it has gotten worse!

https://www.nairaland.com/6965099/how-improve-relationship-people

My relationship with people is just zero.

I feel like people just choose to always be against me.
I keep making one mistake or the other when trying to choose people

Study stoicism, hit the gym and care of yourself hygiene wise.

ElasmoBranchii:
Study stoicism, hit the gym and care of yourself hygiene wise.

Thanks

Nancyeke:
Where I work… I am the most hated person

This is me,corp members in my ppa hated me for no rey