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How Do I Improve My Relationship With People - Romance - Nairaland

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How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 5:30pm On Jan 31, 2022
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me.

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Powerbandoo(f): 5:39pm On Jan 31, 2022
Nancyeke:
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me.

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.



You will continue to get insulted from people, until you see it as normal thing, just move out of shell, and relate with people, be ready for insult
Of course, its low self esteem

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Socratiz: 5:53pm On Jan 31, 2022
You need to see a professional counsellor to help you discover the source of the low self-esteem. Most likely you were exposed to some adverse childhood experiences and the consequences are playing out in adult life. This is not a process that can be explained on a public forum like this.

You can develop the necessary social skills to relate with people and enjoy life abundantly. You only need to ask for help.
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by helinues: 5:58pm On Jan 31, 2022
Tbh, you don't need that relationship with people if you truly care about your peace of mind.

I have realised that average people lie on even small thing which could be annoying. The more friends you have, the more lies to be received.

Gossiping about a deaf person like me na waste of time cos I don't attach too much of emotions to things

As for the opportunists, I stopped arguing with them, they can only have their way only one time and after then, I relegated them to where their sets belong

I no get time for nonsense

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Xainttee001(m): 5:58pm On Jan 31, 2022
Nancyeke:
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.

Well, no matter how u tend to be in life, people must talk. Just live ur life and enjoy it. People no get joy for dis life most especially dis part of d world where we hate minding our business
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Godada(m): 6:03pm On Jan 31, 2022


Are you an only child?

These things you mentioned is usually associated with only child.

What you actually need is cultivating meaningful relationships.

But get this right...... regardless of what you do... You are going to get judged.

Being introverted comes with it's own baggages..... Lack of people skills.
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 6:33pm On Jan 31, 2022
Godada:


Are you an only child?

These things you mentioned is usually associated with only child.

What you actually need is cultivating meaningful relationships.

But get this right...... regardless of what you do... You are going to get judged.

Being introverted comes with it's own baggages..... Lack of people skills.
I am not an only child.
I am the 4th of 5
I have tried to make got relationship but. It dies
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by FERNANDEZISBACK: 6:43pm On Jan 31, 2022
Be yourself and stop trying to please people..you are an introvert stick with that..
Never force yourself to relate with people cos people can be brainless..
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nobody: 7:43pm On Jan 31, 2022
Go and register in a gym or boxing center. Not only will it boost your confidence in yourself, it will help channel these uncontrollable anger in you.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 8:03pm On Jan 31, 2022
HenryDion:
Go and register in a gym or boxing center. Not only will it boost your confidence in yourself, it will help channel these uncontrollable anger in you.
I will need money for this!
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by frozen70(f): 10:50pm On Jan 31, 2022
Nancyeke:
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me.

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.

Don't worry when you marry, that's when you will understand that bad words and abuses can come out from some people's mouth and rush like tap water, what if the person is your wife then you beat her and both of you will appear before your inlaws and they will blame you

Then she will use your weaknesses and keep making you to beat her, simply because you are not a gentle man and so you can't tolerate people

Anyway if you don't correct or adjust yourself, your wife will help you reset your brain
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 5:23am On Feb 01, 2022
frozen70:


Don't worry when you marry, that's when you will understand that bad words and abuses can come out from some people's mouth and rush like tap water, what if the person is your wife then you beat her and both of you will appear before your inlaws and they will blame you

Then she will use your weaknesses and keep making you to beat her, simply because you are not a gentle man and so you can't tolerate people

Anyway if you don't correct or adjust yourself, your wife will help you reset your brain
Hmm
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Angrygoat: 6:01am On Feb 01, 2022
They can talk abt u like Jesus, if it ain't bout money,Bleep off.
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 10:03am On Feb 01, 2022
Angrygoat:
They can talk abt u like Jesus, if it ain't bout money,Bleep off.
I don't get
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 3:06pm On Feb 01, 2022
frozen70:


Don't worry when you marry, that's when you will understand that bad words and abuses can come out from some people's mouth and rush like tap water, what if the person is your wife then you beat her and both of you will appear before your inlaws and they will blame you

Then she will use your weaknesses and keep making you to beat her, simply because you are not a gentle man and so you can't tolerate people

Anyway if you don't correct or adjust yourself, your wife will help you reset your brain
This is one of my biggest fear
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Sonnobax15(m): 3:54pm On Feb 01, 2022
lipsrsealed
Na wa oh....... Op,like seriously,if you're the type of a guy who values his peace of mind,then,you should worry-less........ Personally,I be like you....But as for the part of the relating with people,I can be a nuisance if there's a need for that...But most times,I place my peace of mind above every other thing and that's the reason people think I'm avoiding friendship,but specifically,na insult and see-finish I dey always dey try avoid.
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nobody: 3:55pm On Feb 01, 2022
Nancy keh
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Truvelisback(m): 4:08pm On Feb 01, 2022
Nancyeke:
Good afternoon...
I am a chronic introverted guy.
But I tend to not have good relationship with people.
I suffer a times from low self esteem.
Though, I am not rich. Still trying to make money.

I have observed something about myself over the years, I tend to over react to what people say about me.

Perhaps because of my personality some people tend to take me for a ride. This doesn't go down well with me. I tend to over react to it of which at the end of the day I get blamed.
An instance was when I was in discussion with somebody and the person saidI don't even know anything that I am a dullered that how did I finish school etc. I didn't want to react but he persist. Though he was older, I had to react violently toward him. We engaged in verbal and even physical fight.
He triggered my anger.
At the end of the day the whole community blame me.


I am easy going but I tend to not have full grip of my self control.

And it's affecting my relationship with people and it's affecting my confidence in life.
I have prayed and fasted about this.
I have called on the holy spirit
But I am still not at the level of a good relationship with people.

What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.
U shouldn't hate urself because of people's opinion abt u. I think u are suffering from low self-esteem and inferiority complexity. By the way, are u Tairus?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Bolsman(m): 5:48pm On Feb 01, 2022
You can't help it. Rather, do not blame ur personality. You can do this. Learn to respect ur yourself always. Strive to have self-control. Avoid toxic people that tend to deliberately make jest of you. Finally, grow a thick skin. Don't let words get at u easily. You will see improvement soonest.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by frozen70(f): 8:29pm On Feb 01, 2022
Nancyeke:

This is one of my biggest fear

Confront it, that's why you will learn to have the ability to tolerate and manage people, that's how every one is managing every one, including you
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Nancyeke: 8:43am On Feb 03, 2022
frozen70:


Confront it, that's why you will learn to have the ability to tolerate and manage people, that's how every one is managing every one, including you
Hmm
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Konjiboi: 12:53pm On Feb 04, 2022
Don't be too hard on yourself.
I notice something about you.
You're an over thinker.
Learn to overlook some things.
What people say about you shouldn't bother you. Get result in life, they'll keep quiet.

Let those who are laughing at you continue to laugh. Ignore them. Be focused at building yourself. Pursuing your life goals: a good job, business, marriage, whatever. Keep your plans to yourself.

Don't tell people what you're planning. Let your results surprise them.

When they see you with your results they will keel quiet.

Win through your actions not tru arguments.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Jackanda1(m): 2:21pm On Jun 24, 2022
Nancyeke You could be having a problem of social anxiety ladened with low self esteem, you're also emotionally insecure which means things easily get to you, making you overreact and regret later. The regret comes with over thinking, worrying and depressive mood.

Most people would laugh off certain things, but for someone who is emotionally insecure, you feel extra bad. You can't just help it.

Forget about people who say you should control yourself, bla bla bla, you can't do that. If your mental state isn't fixed, there is little you can do.

There is a lot more I know cos I had this problem myself, but I would summarize by saying don't give up on Jesus, he can help you, he might not do it immediately, but keep crying to him. He would answer you soon.
Re: How Do I Improve My Relationship With People by Kobojunkie: 2:35pm On Jun 24, 2022
Nancyeke:
What can I do.

I tend to always hate myself after I have overreacted some times I have thoughts of suicide.
You ain't going no where if you don't tackle what is your low self-esteem issues there. That seems the major reason for your outbursts. undecided

Seek the help of a professional mental health counselor to help unravel what is your problem there. You might even discover then that you are not an introvert at all but simply someone whose social life suffers due to depression and probably social anxieties. I say this because you mention that you long to be in the company of others. Introverts typically don't do that. undecided

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