₦airaland Forum

READ THIS BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO” – THIS POST WILL TRIGGER PEOPLE

If you’re a woman in Nigeria and you’re planning to get married, you NEED to understand this. Argue with your keyboard if you like, but this can save lives.

There is a dangerous pattern of behaviour called NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER, and many Nigerian women are married to it without knowing.

A narcissistic man is not just “proud” or “strict” — he is emotionally empty, manipulative, and dangerous.


SIGNS YOU ARE DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST (READ SLOWLY):

• He is extremely nice outside but wicked at home
• He cares more about his image than his wife and children
• He can be doing giveaway on Facebook while his family is suffering
• Your pain does not move him — at all
• He enjoys being praised and worshipped
• He lacks empathy and human sympathy
• He gaslights you until you start doubting your own sanity
• He love-bombs today and becomes violent or cruel tomorrow
• He keeps malice with his wife inside the same house
• He sees insults and threats as “normal talk”
• “I will slap you”, “I will break your head”, “you’re a fool” is casual to him

Most chronic wife beaters are narcissists.
They don’t change. Age does not soften them.

An old man still beating his wife?
Still quarreling unnecessarily?
Still insecure?
That is a narcissist.

THE MOST DANGEROUS PART?
A narcissistic man will not only abuse you —
He will poison your children against you.

He will twist stories.
Change narratives.
Make you look like the villain.
Turn your own children into weapons against you.

You think you’re enduring “for the kids”?
He’s already working on them.

THEY HATE YOUR SUCCESS.
If your husband is threatened by your progress, promotion, education, money or achievements — THREAD CAREFULLY.

A real-life Nigerian case:
A woman in her late 50s was called to the Nigerian Bar.
Her husband in his 70s accused her of sleeping around in Abuja.
He locked her in the room and beat her to death.
There was a history of domestic violence.

Let that sink in.

A narcissist will:
• Compete with you
• Feel entitled to your money
• Downplay your achievements
• Mock your success
• Sabotage your progress
• Envy you secretly
• Try to break you emotionally

Marrying a narcissist is saying goodbye to peace of mind.

They hate seeing people happy — especially you.
Inside them is bitterness, insecurity and rage.

Some men look like angels outside.
Ask their wives what happens at home.
You’ll understand why some women are quiet… or broken.

SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

First: IDENTIFY IT.
Stop making excuses for cruelty.
Charm is not character.

Second: SET HARD BOUNDARIES.
Domestic violence, insults, gaslighting, malice, intimidation —
NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Third: THERAPY IS NOT OPTIONAL.
A narcissist needs serious professional help (CBT, experienced therapists).
And YOU also need therapy to heal from manipulation and trauma.

WARNING:
Loving a narcissist blindly can cost you your sanity — or your life.
They will control your thoughts, movements, confidence and decisions.
Once you normalize abuse, it never stops.
It only escalates.

This post will offend people.
That’s fine.

But if it saves one woman, it’s worth it.

Let the arguments start in the comments.
Share this post.
Someone needs to see it.

I did not read all the sermon but i enjoyed the few lines i picked, it is well these days with families only God we rely on

A lot is going on and we must be watchful because the bible said watch and pray

dollytino4real:
I did not read all the sermon but i enjoyed the few lines i picked, it is well these days with families only God we rely on

Naijalegal:
➜A lot is going on and we must be watchful because the bible said watch and pray

Wait a second.... are you implying that praying to this god of yours eliminates the narcissistic tendencies of no influence —magically puffs all their abuse out of your lives? If so, how come the rate of abuse in your religious marriages(including abuse of narcissistic pastors against both their wives and followrs) doesn't seem any different from that noticed in non-religious marriages?

YOU CAN GIVE US YOUR OWN SOLUTIONS

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second.... are you implying that praying to this god of yours eliminates the narcissistic tendencies of no influence —magically puffs all their abuse out of your lives? If so, how come the rate of abuse in your religious marriages(including abuse of narcissistic pastors against both their wives and followrs) doesn't seem any different from that noticed in non-religious marriages?

Naijalegal:
YOU CAN GIVE US YOUR OWN SOLUTIONS

Um...how about you never date or marry a Narcissist. And if you find out that you are in the same boat with a narcissistic individual or someone with narcissistic tendencies fashioned against you in the relationship... abandon ship because you will never win or come out on the good side. 🥱🥱

If the narcissistic individual happens to be your father, mother, sibling , or even your ex, don't hesitate to go nocontact with that inividual to protect your peace and sanity. 🥱🥱

You made it seem like though narcissism is only found in men. There are also narcissistic women who display all the characteristics you listed above, including domestic violence on their husbands. So, the advice should be for both genders to avoid narcissistic people.

You are depressed

The level of narcissist in women is higher than men!!!!!!!

Toxic women : they manipulate and hate you secretly, gaining whatever they can and move.
Damage women : These one no matter how big or rich your empire is you must be poor. Cos they go won use everything hold you not to leave out of fear.
They always want you poor so that they can be the only one in your life. Thinking you will get more women with more money.

You never see these two types in women, that means you have a lot to learn as a man.

They can destroy an empire built in decades in a year.

Not men alone