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Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

You said you are getting tired of the relationship...

Are they other things involved that is making you tired?


And yes that's a red flag her being entitled without consideration... a big reg flag.


What you should do depends on many other factors. I'm not sure anyone can give you a good advice based on this particular red flag alone.

You have to weigh other areas and qualities and make yourself a critical decision!

Please I need advice. I have been thinking about this since yesterday

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

you first defined money as loves to her! When you cant cont. with it, why you start it in first place?? paying gf sch fee!

RUN!


First of ALL, NEVER in your life assume financial responsibility for ANY woman that is NOT your daughter or LAWFULLY wedded and VERIFIABLY loyal wife.

Secondly, this part:

"she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay."

This means this girl is DMUB!
She's attending a PRIVATE School where they have better resources and fewer students and she's still FAILING!

She FAILED and you had to BAIL her out by BRIBING a Lecturer.

You DON'T want to mix with that level of DMUBNESS!

You are paying for her EDUCATION and still paying for her FAILURE!

MADNESS!

Plus, if she's sorting one lecturer with money; you can rest assured she's sorting another lecturer with DOGGGGY.

Then, there's her School BoyFriend whom she visits regularly for "tutorials".



This girl is clearly NOT studious.
So you are just FINANCING her frolicking.

Despite the fact that you're SPONSORING her entire life since you met her, she's UNGRATEFUL!

She's INSULTS you and call you STINGY!
She BELITTLES you and says you're NOT doing enough just because you did NOT shoulder the financial BURDEN of her whole lineage in addition to shouldering hers.

And she's already hitting you with the International Anthem of ENTITLED GOLDDIGGERS all over the world:

"Your money is OUR money".


While contributing absolutely NOTHING to your life.

Take stock of what she's contributed to your life and see how you've been SHORTCHANGING yourself.

I bet the ONLY thing you've been getting is a LACKADAISICAL gander at a SECOND-HAND pussshy.

You need to VANISH!

IF you make the HORRIBLE mistake of marrying this girl, you will age 5 DECADES in your first year of marriage.

You will SHOULDER the financial problems of her entire family and it still WON'T be enough.

You will be UNHAPPY.
And married to an ENTITLED woman who's NEVER going to be satisfied.

And chances are very HIGH that this lady would want to be a FULL-HOUSE WIFE and continue the baby girl lifestyle she feels entitled to.

You will WORK overtime in a FUTILE attempt to make enough money to please her.

You will NEVER be at home.
And you know what that means.


Your first-born would have an UNCANNY resemblance to that your neighbour that seemed UNUSUALLY friendly with your stay-at-home wife.

RUN!

Thanks for your contributions.

I said i am getting tired because she constantly tells me that i am stingy. someone who pays your school fees sorting fees etc?

Sorry there is this other one, she complains that i am supposed to send her money to buy food items for my house and not me going to the market to buy them myself.

brain54:
You said you are getting tired of the relationship...

Are they other things involved that is making you tired?


And yes that's a red flag her being entitled without consideration... a big reg flag!

SatanKeepOff:
Thanks for your contributions.

I said i am getting tired because she constantly tells me that i am stingy. someone who pays your school fees sorting fees etc?

Sorry there is this other one, she complains that i am supposed to send her money to buy food items for my house and not me going to the market to buy them myself.

Does she nag you about it...

Like she says it in a playful way or in a vicious, angry or quarrelsome way?

Have you told her your resentment about her actions or have you argued about her behavior before? Have you sat her down to explain the sacrifices you make for her sake?

Its not like i just jumped at it. When i got to their house, i discovered that they need help... her dad is late and i felt i should help her mum to handle my partners school expenses since her elder brother is in school too and i felt it will be too much on her mum

muyico:
you first defined money as loves to her! if you cant cont. with it, why you start it in first place?? paying gf sch fee!

You are paying a girls schools fees that you haven't gotten married to.

Every sensible man doesn't and wouldn't need a tailor to tell him your fiancees behavior has so many materials that could be used to sew a very big red flag.

I think she nags.

she says those things to me in a normal way... like in the middle of a conversation, she'd be like " just imagine, are you not ashamed that i have not made a new hair for a month now?

I will be like your sorting fees is my priority for now. she will continue like that

Yes. I have told her my resentment about her actions. Unfortunately, she thinks i am the one that should change and do things her way

brain54:
Does she nag you about it...

Like she says it in a playful way or in a vicious, angry or quarrelsome way?

Have you told her your resentment about her actions or have you argued about her behavior before? Have you sat her down to explain the sacrifices you make for her sake?

That girl will finish her studies and later marry another guy because you deserve whatever treatment she eventually dishes out to you.

How on earth would you begin to shoulder her responsibilities just because you think you want to marry her

You met in in her final year which means she has been sorting herself out one way or the other since the beginning so why would you suddenly come in and assume the role of a superman

Honestly nobody should blame that girl atal abi who go see awoof wey no go wan chop am anyhow.

You this gender cook up different lies just to paint us bad....

Only reading your first paragraph ialready knew where you were driving at


Same old stories all the time

This is getting stale FR

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

You started on a wrong note,and I think it's too late to mend things.

You literally carried all her school expenses,a girl you haven't got married to.The parents that took her to a private university knew the strength of their pockets.you could have supported her and not footing all her school expenses

And another area,is that you didn't sit her down and explain to her that because of the heavy expenses you are footing,you will not be able to do some other things for her and the family until she graduates.

Your first move was wrong,It will be very difficult to change the narrative because the family now sees you as a father Christmas,who have enough to give out, ditto the girl

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

Once you start to doubt your relationship, then it isn't a good one or you will have a serious problem with it in the coming years. Sorry but that's the fact. If she couldn't appreciate what you have done to her, one day she will tell you that "what did you do" or that did she force you to do what you did?

FR? What's wrong with the first paragraph?

Why should i cook this up to discredit the woman i want to marry?

Carndidlaydid:
You this gender cook up different lies just to paint us bad....

Only reading your first paragraph ialready knew where you were driving at


Same old stories all the time

This is getting stale FR

You made a terrible mistake by agreeing to take over her Educational finances when shes not your wife. Until a woman becomes your wife, shes not your responsibility, get that straight. However, you need to have a serious and honest conversation with her, about you,herself and finances. Let her understand that if shes with you because of money, then it's a problem, because any day you are unable to provide or meet her expectations there will be no peace. Apparently she have started already, but if not stopped now in this early stages, my brother, am afraid for your mental health in the near future.

SatanKeepOff:
FR? What's wrong with the first paragraph?

Why should i cook this up to discredit the woman i want to marry?

Bring it up here in the first place is a discredit to her

So save those sentimental blackmail for your fellow folks

If you truly love her and Want to marry her you'd have a mature convo with her than bring it on here trying to look for validations as to what you have already decided


And yeah again ithink this your story is fake..

SatanKeepOff:
I think she nags.

she says those things to me in a normal way... like in the middle of a conversation, she'd be like " just imagine, are you not ashamed that i have not made a new hair for a month now?

I will be like your sorting fees is my priority for now. she will continue like that

Yes. I have told her my resentment about her actions. Unfortunately, she thinks i am the one that should change and do things her way

I hardly ever advise couples to break up...

Or divorce. Except in extreme situations. But like I have stated earlier this is a red flag. It's left for you to do what you want with that knowledge. If you feel it's something you can cope with...but if not I want you to realize it's difficult if not totally impossible to change or expect anyone to change their ways or character.

And another unsolicited thing I want to talk about is you paying her school fees. I don't think you have any business paying her school fees if you have nothing tangible or solid to hold on to as regards the relationship.

Sure, you went to see her people to tell them of your intentions of marriage. But I don't think that's concrete enough to hold on to. I don't want you to get your fingers burnt tomorrow. People like this... with this kind of attitude are most times ungrateful elements and there is almost nothing you can do to please people like this.

She can wake up one morning and ask you what have you even done for her. Forgeting all the sacrifices you went through for her sake. She can leave tomorrow without a single care in the world.


What I am saying is that I think you should never train a woman in school that is not yet your wife. If you must do it make sure it's from your house as your wife. Not on some random empty promises.


I'm not saying leave her... and I'm not saying stick with her either put everything together and you alone are in the best position to decide afterall I'm sure she has her good sides too and judgment should not be one-sided.

Which one out ways the other and if you are able and ready to cope with short comings.

But do not be emotional... make a decision with your head and not your heart!

I did just last night.

we spoke over the phone and i told her all this, but she still sees me as one who is stingy.

Bro, the problem became worse last month when i mistakenly calculated my tax in her presence... she saw my gross and started feeling like i have and i dont want to spend for her upkeep.

coputa:
You started on a wrong note,and I think it's too late to mend things.

You literally carried all her school expenses,a girl you haven't got married to.The parents that took her to a private university knew the strength of their pockets.you could have supported her and not footing all her school expenses

And another area,is that you didn't sit her down and explain to her that because of the heavy expenses you are footing,you will not be able to do some other things for her and the family until she graduates.

Your first move was wrong,It will be very difficult to change the narrative because the family now sees you as a father Christmas,who have enough to give out, ditto the girl

Some of you will never learn except in a hard way .. smh

Why would you agree to take over paying of her school fees .. not even a federal or state university

Private lounloun

And still she and her family are expecting you to still purge your hard earned money on them on frivolous things

You want to enter a liability family and family who feels entitled to your money... Don't be surprised if all those academic papers she's telling you is being used to extort money from you or used in bribing lecturers as her skull
Is empty

I am sure if we see her physically.. she go set o

You on the other hand is her Proper mugu and you no sharp at all

She isn't the ONE oooo


Get down from this 🚌🚐🚌🚐
Count all the money spent as bad business



You will meet a good lady who has a good heart and has empathy

Carndidlaydid:
You this gender cook up different lies just to paint us bad....

Only reading your first paragraph ialready knew where you were driving at


Same old stories all the time

This is getting stale FR

I quite agree with you on this I can't also believe that men are still falling into the same trap set by your gender

My conclusion is dat everyone cannot be wise

SatanKeepOff:
Its not like i just jumped at it. When i got to their house, i discovered that they need help... her dad is late and i felt i should help her mum to handle my partners school expenses since her elder brother is in school too and i felt it will be too much on her mum

I'm a married man!
Let me explain this to you
No matters wot u do for woman, even filled this earth with cash for dem, dey will still say, u do nothing! U can't content women!
Try to explain to her
If ur explanation not wlcm
Den move on
I married industrious woman
Yet she still demand from me
But not by force or calling me stingyman!
During ours courtship days
I never give her dime
Den I was jobless
Always look unto my late mom and siblings for feeding den!

SatanKeepOff:
Its not like i just jumped at it. When i got to their house, i discovered that they need help... her dad is late and i felt i should help her mum to handle my partners school expenses since her elder brother is in school too and i felt it will be too much on her mum

It's not too much for her mum... Federal and State universities dey but they still clearly went ahead to go to a private University (not even based on scholarship o) .... so what kind of excuse are you giving us here

I brought it here because i need advice and trust me, i am getting them already. i wont take all the advice... i will just pick the advice that aligns with my personality. again, i brought it here because nobody here knows her. i dont want to discuss it with my family or hers because i dont want to discredit her.

Now, the least you would have done was to avoid this thread instead of adding salt to injury

Carndidlaydid:
Bring it up here in the first place is a discredit to her

So save those sentimental blackmail for your fellow folks

If you truly love her and Want to marry her you'd have a mature convo with her than bring it on here trying to look for validations as to what you have already decided


And yeah again ithink this your story is fake..

duduade:
It's not too much for her mum... Federal and State universities dey but they still clearly went ahead to go to a private University (not even based on scholarship o) .... so what kind of excuse are you giving us here

She could already have been in the private school...

Before she lossed her dad though. He didn't say her mom sought the admission.

Maybe she was in already admitted In school at the time of her dad's exit!

Thank you

muyico:
I'm a married man!
Let me explain this to you
No matters wot u do for woman, even filled this earth with cash for dem, dey will still say, u do nothing! U can't content women!
Try to explain to her
If ur explanation not wlcm
Den move on
I married industrious woman
Yet she still demand from me
But not by force or calling me stingyman!
During ours courtship days
I never give her dime
Den I was jobless
Always look unto my late mom and siblings for feeding den!

You are right.

she lost her dad two years back

brain54:
She could already have been in the private school...

Before she lossed her dad though. He didn't say her mom sought the admission.

Maybe she was in already admitted In school at the time of her dad's exit!

C

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice. I have been thinking about this since yesterday

I ask.
Who was payong the fees and taking care of her before she decamped to you? You may be walking onto a fire that will burn you from your feet to your head. Answer my question up there first and then i tell you my mind.

Her mum. But cars gone, landed properties also sold

ruffhandu:
C

I ask.
Who was payong the fees and taking care of her before she decamped to you? You may be walking onto a fire that will burn you from your feet to your head. Answer my question up there first and then i tell you my mind.