₦airaland Forum

Let me share a story of a failed marriage. Though The ex wife told me of their failed marriage, the topic will be too long if I should explain it so I will just brief it. But while she was telling me I was processing both people what they gain and lose at the same time.

Most women sees marriages as enjoyment and retirement. And social media is even promoting such beliefs.

Now the money the guy spent on their wedding as at then should be equivalent of today inflection 7m.

While they married she didn't work the guy offsets the bills. She got pregnant and gave birth to a child. The guy paid and offset everything. Still she wasn't working.

But along the line the guy started facing financial struggle which is part of life, child was already close to 2years. Some people good time doesn't last that much. To the extent paying for rent became an issue.

We all know there is no good job in the country. But because of their situation she start working for small pay job that couldn't do much. But you know women now the fact she still have to spend the small money at their home and left with nothing. It then look like slavery to her, just 3 months into the job.she start telling herself Is this why she went to school and married? Most women sees bills as a man's responsibility.

Then she took off with their baby. And claim the guy is maltreating her. When the guy came for her she said she is no longer interested. The guy was like for a women he paid and married? The femily then quickly return 200 as alleged bride price. The guy said okay then they should handover the baby to him. They said the baby is not his. They return traditional bride price he has no business with them again. The guy made threats for war. They arrest him and took him to court as against threats to her life and their baby. First he was made to take undertaking at the police state before bail. Court also restrain him for going certern meters to the family.

It was then I know marriage as it is today is organized institution against men. The only thing a man can do is to carefully select because once you made that mistake it can reshape your life and career. And you might never recover from it.

E good SS you no say the whole story but gave summary

Ordinary this summary,wasnt easy to understand

This can never happen in nigeria
Except na aboki the man b

What a man gains from a failed marriage is not a prize, but a toolkit forged in loss and pain that contains self-knowledge, resilience, clarity, and the hard-earned skills to build a more authentic future. The "investment" wasn't lost; it was transferred painfully into the most difficult personal development course he will ever take. The return on that investment depends entirely on what he chooses to learn and how he applies it moving forward.

lilsmart:
What a man gains from a failed marriage is not a prize, but a toolkit forged in loss and pain that contains self-knowledge, resilience, clarity, and the hard-earned skills to build a more authentic future. The "investment" wasn't lost; it was transferred painfully into the most difficult personal development course he will ever take. The return on that investment depends entirely on what he chooses to learn and how he applies it moving forward.

That personal development often translate to serious trust issues. Not very many men go on to have healthy relationships after such a messy separation/betrayal.

I always insist on both parties contributing to the wedding and running the family from the beginning - both parties should have something at stake.

fineboynl:
✓ It was then I know marriage as it is today is organized institution against men. The only thing a man can do is to carefully select because once you made that mistake it can reshape your life and career. And you might never recover from it.

A divorce in Nigeria, particularly that undertaken under customary law,-- the vast majority of mariages(including religious marriages) in Nigeria are registered under customary law -- rarely benefits women, so how can marriage be said to benefits women more than men?

Kobojunkie:
A divorce in Nigeria, particularly that undertaken under customary law,-- the vast majority of mariages(including religious marriages) in Nigeria are registered under customary law -- rarely benefits women, so how can marriage be said to benefits women more than men?

who gain from this very story.

fineboynl:
who gain from this very story.

You are not making sense since your Nigerian marriages only benefit men...the women who are thrown out of those marriage are thrown smack deep into poverty at the end, thanks to laws that deny women their fair share of the martial communal wealth due to biases against married women-- hence the reason why women cling as hard as they can to Marriage in Nigeria. 🥱🥱🥱

Marriage can never work in this generation. Just give it time it will scatter the internet has done more harm to marriage than good

Thereedemer:
This can never happen in nigeria
Except na aboki the man b

Is aboki a Nigerian? I thought he is not. Aboki is prefer to be called Northerner.