₦airaland Forum

U see ehhh,, it feels more when u during ur single days u dey bubble. But once u don marry, few days into marriage, see finish come enter. U will realize I love you no dey keep marriage more than respect, humble and loyalty

Phraences:
We introverts can’t relate. So sorry

Depends what you spend your introvert time doing. If you spend it watching people socializing, then...
Besides, after a while u get tired of your own company and akso aware people are wondering about you!

Phraences:
➜We introverts can’t relate. So sorry

There are lonely introverts out there. Just because you are not lonely does not mean all introverts are not lonely. Let's be sure to separate the mental illness — loneliness — from what is instead a personality trait. 🥱🥱🥱

kiddaz:
None is perfect including your spouse and yourself. So I wouldn't bother myself with whatever you did or he did that made things go south. Start by loving yourself first the way no one else can. Nobody has it all and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Make time for yourself. Sometimes loneliness gets heavy especially when no one is there after all the world shuts down. Live more, laugh more, love more and fear nothing because one day you will wake up to find out there's really not enough time to even live so why focus on the negatives? Life is too short it's why I only focus on the positive in everything and shut down every form of negativity and it has made me a far better man than I ever was. Enjoy your life. You will never have the chance twice.

Well said. Voice of experience

The only beautiful thing in my marriage are my three lovely kids. Loneliness knows my name. Me and Loneliness no get any biz wen I dey single

Na this worse pass. If you are single you are more likely to get invited out.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

UnknownQueen:
OP, this resonates with me because I’m experiencing something similar. If you’re male, we can connect and support each other; if you’re female, we can explore being L partners. Life is too short to be lonely. I’m being genuine.

So you plan to take advantage of her situation to corrupt her and create more problems? If you're looking for a 4ck buddy why not hit the zones close to you where you can an do all these? Na una dey mislead weak minded women. Na so dem done carry my gateman wife since morning abokkky no see him small wife who was supposed to be off work today as she works at a restaurant close. She pick call talk where she dey and she's not there till now she no pick again and abokkky dey restless. You better warn yourself

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

People think married men are enjoying but its not.

You cant keep gf or you won't be free keeping them, your wife only lets you enter once every 3 months.

Its Crazy for us.

Whyme24:
➜The only beautiful thing in my marriage are my three lovely kids. Loneliness knows my name. Me and Loneliness no get any biz wen I dey single

The only person keeping you in that marriage and keeping you lonely is you. Your children know you are lonely, and they are not happy about it. And if you tell them that they are the reason why you chose to remain in a situation where you are unhappy, you only deepen their sadness even more.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

This marriage of a thing sef, e worry o.

Me I know I’ll get Tired of anyone at some point .

How dem Dey do am? 🤔

UnknownQueen:
➜OP, this resonates with me because I’m experiencing something similar. If you’re male, we can connect and support each other; if you’re female, we can explore being L partners. Life is too short to be lonely. I’m being genuine.

The only person keeping you in that marriage and keeping you lonely is you. Your children know you are lonely, and they are not happy about it. And if you tell them that they are the reason why you chose to remain in a situation where you are unhappy, you only deepen their sadness even more. 🥱🥱🥱

They say "Misery loves company," but misery cannot save one from itself. 🥱🥱

physics12:
➜ Get busy, and you not even notice who desire you and who don't. It's lazy, dreamless people that desire affection like this. Get to work

Stop regurgitating this lie! Study after study have disproved this claim that getting busy makes the problem of loneliness go away. It never does. 🥱🥱🥱

Most of the commenters here didnt pay attention to what this one said in her outburst.
1. She said she missed those good things she used to enjoy before which means she lost them at a point. Nobody cares to ask her what makes her lose those affections?
2. She said she can not pretend any longer which means she probably has been pretending to her husband to be ok lonely. This attitude is what would have prevented whatever problem she may have with her husband from being settled when she was busy avoiding addressing those issues but pretending not to be affected.
3. She acknowledged that she is still capable of loving but has ruled out attempt to mend her problem with her husband by showing love to him first. She is instead looking for opportunity to leave the marriage so that she can show the love to other men, bcs she believes those ones will appreciate the love better than her own husband. That is the tone of that message.
4. She never said she was rejected by her husband. She never said she had made effort to show love to her husband which was never returned. She clearly said she has been pretending I.e she has been trying to prove to her husband that she is ok without him.
And u guys didnt see that this one is a proud soul who is the architect of her own marital turbulence by making herself alone as priority at the expense of her husband and the rest of the family.
She probably might be the tormentor in that marriage but they will always play the victim card.
Most of these women will be blessed with good husbands that they dont even deserve in the first place but they will use their own hands and pride to destroy the marriage and will now come online to begin to seek for sympathy.
I took time to study women very well and when I discovered them, I stop pitying them

Tenrack:
But you saw all these signs prior, yet you shuuk head because he was ready ba

Do you know how he was in the beginning? Do you know how long they've been married?

The shambles and shackles and shambalistic holistically. This is not what you dreamed it will be like. You miss attention and being desired.

Well, hmm. I don't know what to say though.

Tenrack:
I'm also single. Beta start to dey learn to love yourself and your own company.

Yeah, yeah, but after a while you get tired of your own company. Especially watching people socializing on social media

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

This one doesn't concern me.
I have children.. I am not lonely.
I don't like a clingy partner.
As long as he is giving me peace and space, I'm okay.

ufy4success:
There are many questions i will like to ask but i will let you ask and answer them. Marriage is a life long journey its best to always do it with who loves and you love too. I may not know the genesis but a relationship the partner is not willing to work things out. I'd advise you seek peace, its either you tell the hard truth or keep living this way because over time you'd become a bitter person.
Sorry, but i feel there was no love initially and maybe the marriage was forced. Hope you find peace and healing. 🙏

Pure nonsense. People madly in love may want to kill each other 6 months down the road. Happens all the time. Also, people change and evolve - that's human nature!

i like that, i have my children.

spiceadole:
This one doesn't concern me.
I have children.. I am not lonely.
I don't like a clingy partner.
As long as he is giving me peace and space, I'm okay.

Kobojunkie:
Loneliness is resolved by way of loving oneself. As OP has clearly shown, marriage does not and cannot resolve that problem. Even if her husband suddenly changes. 🥱🥱🥱

Loving yourself is not enough. After a while you need human interaction with familiar people who know you

But what about when your partner showing he/she have nothing to lose in the marriage?
That hurt more..

Kobojunkie:
1. The problem with these statements of yours is that it fails in recognizing the source of lack — loneliness — you feel. Loneless is a result of inner emptiness . No amount of external affection, attention, connection, romance, passion, etc., can cure emptiness. The solution has to come from within yourself —self-love.

2. Capable of love, or performance of love? I am of the mind that one is not able to love if one does not first love oneself. You say you are still capable of love, insinuating that you have been loving all this time before now. Is this really the case? I suggest you consider carefully what you think love is, and consider whether it has instead been you playing a part which you confuse with love. Love comes from a whole inside, not one battling loneliness. Please consider becoming more self-focused so you can once and for all resolve the reasons why you still have yet to love yourself more than anything else first. 🥱🥱

1) Not true. This is all theory. In reality positive interaction with familiar people who know you cures loneliness.
3) Another theoretical nonsense. You can fully love another and even be willing to die 4 them and it has nothing to do with loving yourself!

You sound like you have also been pushing your partner to be something they cannot be. Or they pretended to be something, or you are so pushy and so clingy they got exhausted.

Try creating some distance, healthy distance don't be too clingy. I may be very wrong though, forget the books and movies, and be sensitive to your partner, understand them also. Also appreciate them and accept that you have a lot to be grateful for, your attitude may attract them back. if it does not work do not despair, . There are no guarantees, but you can bring more happiness and light to the situation which will even make your husband see you differently.

Double0h7:
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to redirect your attention inwards.

Show yourself love, compassion, and kindness. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself.

Focus on your own self development, set goals for yourself and enjoy the dopamine boost when you achieve them.

The world mirrors back our beliefs and thoughts, so consider what you’re putting out there. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Don’t let these current feelings trick you into further self sabotage (looking for those things outside your marriage) and cause you to further hate yourself.

"Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself." - hmmm, not sure about that. Maybe, but it won't be same as getting it from another

Good write-up tho

ufy4success:
Thank you for telling her the truth that loving herself would mean her leaving that marriage because it seems she knows the hard truth but refusing to accept it. When peace dies, bitterness sets in...

But she didn't say peace died so where would bitterness set in from? All she needs to do is mind her own business, develop hervown self - within the marriage!

Although single, overtime we have been advised by experts that communication is key to a successful marriage. I'm of a strong opinion that you settle for a partner that is emotionally intelligent and ready to adjust to the reality of marriage. Sometimes isn't all about looks and financial prowess. Consider other unseen qualities before you say "YES" or Consider the chosen one. Mental health is underrated.

okezuoemmanue:
U see ehhh,, it feels more when u during ur single days u dey bubble. But once u don marry, few days into marriage, see finish come enter. U will realize I love you no dey keep marriage more than respect, humble and loyalty

I agree with this comment but it's hard to do

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

In as much I don’t subscribe to the fake thingy institution called “modern marriage”. But since you crave for solution, and your happiness matters, I would advise you seek therapy. If in need, I recommend you an expert on this.

Dtruthspeaker:
Sympathy and empathy cannot be giving to persons who brought about their own down fall. There is no sympathy for a person who scatters her own house and is now crying about homelessness.

Unfortunately, one inexperienced boy will come along and give you your sympathy and a house, phones, soul (life) only to cry again while you run away laughing at him and calling him a f00

This guy!

Baronthecelebri:
Divorce him ASAP

Don't listen to this guy. Divorce him into what?