₦airaland Forum

ErnestNc:
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.

SUPERBLOOM:
When I made my own thread about them and their deception, some cried Wolf.
Her plan was to keep you locked for steady payments.

Teymanhenry:
When you meet a woman and start catching feelings, it’s important to pay attention to how she earns a living and the kind of life she’s building for herself. This isn’t about judging — it’s about clarity. Just as women observe men for stability and direction, men should also observe women for independence and values.
If you don’t earn enough to comfortably support yourself, don’t try to sustain a relationship with money you don’t have. That’s not love, that’s pressure — and pressure eventually breaks things. When a relationship is built mainly on financial maintenance, someone with deeper pockets can easily step in and replace you.
The real lesson is simple: use your head before your emotions. Use your brain to think instead of your heart or dick. Choose wisely, build yourself first, and let relationships grow from mutual effort, not financial desperation.

ErnestNc:
I only shared my experience. From research and facts, it almost never ends well when a younger guy goes for a single mother, especially a promiscuous one.

nonny1212:
Their tactic-

They prey on the naive looking young men.
Then, they will use romance to lock you
Then, steady back to back good knacking follows to make you feel you are actually the ONE.

Then, in your small Innocent mind, you think you are her SAVIOUR.

After a 3 weeks, her real character begins to show up, attitude here and there. Brotherly, by then, your life don dey spoil. Even deep down you know.

See, cheat code to follow up single mothers.
SeX is sure! But enjoy on the 1st week and RUN! No looking back.

If you get HOoKED, by the 3rd week, you will surely be mentally unstable .


If you can, Avoid them if you got soft heart to bear their trauma.

But if you get coconut head, make I no lie, single mother are swt on bed. It comes with a prize too!

Just use you 99.

ErnestNc:
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.

ErnestNc:
Thanks for understanding.

Majority of the gigs were as a result of me being the subject Teacher. It's been that way in the school by preference of the parents. I couldn't resume on time which caused a lot of issues between I and the school owner , so someone had to fill in for me. I still have other lesser gigs from parents who still insisted I continue , but it's not like before. I used to have up to 15 students in class . And I did home lessons too.

After my ordeal my earnings were cut by 70% as I couldn't resume . Just 3 home lessons I'm using to get by the day till I get a better offer.

FreeStuffsNG:
You saw the red flags right from the beginning but decided to play dumb.

Now that you are jobless, trust me, you have bigger problems that made me wonder how you can still pour your lamentations on social media instead of moving on with your real problems.

Go and find job again, build up yourself again. When you are ready for love again, you will know.



Btw, not all single moms or Dads are evil. Quit the stereotype.

ErnestNc:
Exceptions don't make a general rule and you're not entirely wrong due to some considerable factors . But in my case, I had a terrible experience.

SeunDeCraze:
You are a very SIMPle man...
She had abortion for you? You went raw with BABYMAMA without fear of termites or soldiers ants despite you noticed she has complex entanglement with men.
Do HIV test and report back please

ravensckar:
My favourite saying; "when a man dates or marries a single mother, even the devil automatically leaves him alone".

Having dated 2 single mothers myself, I can relate to the OP's story. Those set of ladies are evil personified. However, if you know how to play the game, you go enjoy tire. Their favourite tactics are as follows;

- They play the victim mentality game.
- They lure you in with their initial sweetness, once you're hooked, they unleash evil on you.
- They are adept at gsslighting and manipulation. A single mother can make you empty your bank account without you realizing it.
- Séx means nothing to them, yet, they will use it to control your destiny.
- Their child/children from their previous relationship is their number one priority.
- No matter how much they claim to love you, you're just a means to an end. They are only using you for what you're bringing to the table.

To counteract their manipulation, pretend to love and accept their child as your own. Then, she will loose guard and hand over control to you. That way, you own her heart, body and soul and you can do whatever you like with it.

Don't ask me how I know these, I no get power to explain, I'm having a headache in my stomach.

#Picks_tooth

ErnestNc:
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.

SixSeven:
.. Thank you, I repost my previous comment.

The bad rap single women have on this forum is for me a disgrace to men because that baby mama and baby daddy nonsense is a sign of failed family upbringing. While people can lose their loved ones or divorce due to irreconcilable differences, men who leave their wives or did not consult the elders before marrying into a family are a big disgrace to men. Give me a man that has 3 wives above useless sissies who are comfortable with their women mothering their kids alone abandoned.

You people copied the thing the government used against the Blacks in US and left your culture. Now you are telling us about single moms 🤡 Nonsense

In some cultures, the brother married off his late bro's wife because women were never treated like Street Vendors and abandoned. I blame women too because western influence has deceived them with one yeye independence and fake patriarchy that we are having more kids without dads because of some strong head women.

Where is the honor our women once had?

Who are the men getting them pregnant and leaving them?

Who are the families allowing their daughters wore about?

You can't just blame the women. Men are the biggest culprits because let's assume women are moomoo as many of you claim, who are the moomoo men planting their seeds in her 🤡 Weak men. Clowns.... It was a ticking time bomb, Nigerians copied street lifestyle of America and the 'independent' life of Europe, then abandoned their own traditions and culture about marriage, family and childbirth, here is the result....


For women, at what age will you wake up

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7553103102446931231?

karmaolu1:
My advise for you is to go after her daughter ASAP

ErnestNc:
It was a bitter sweet experience I'd not advice any young man to engage in. It's a game and the only way to win, is to be the user .

I knew this already but unfortunately I was blind sided and disarmed by the love I had for her 13yr old child. The child was so bright. I tutored her in mathematics til she became the best. I saw a lonely bright child who took me as a father figure in her school.

I was so attached and one day I was opportune to meet with her mother. I met a very beautiful young woman in her early 30's the day she came to drop off her child at school. Prior to this, our chat engagement was official and all about her daughter's growth. She requested that I drop all formality and desist from caling her "ma" . She called me babe instead and We both became informal with time and got very close. There was constant calls and communication.

She told me alot about her past , her 4 exes and how she's been alone. It turns out she was always the victim in all her stories . She's so pretty , why would any man leave such a woman? I kept asking myself. She learnt about our 5yrs age difference which was shocking to her but she was already deep into it and ready to go down.

THE ROMANCE

We became sexually involved and things were going down fast. She had great sexual appetite . She wanted me to marry her and was fond of calling me her child's soon to be father and how we were gonna get married. She's a fashion designer who is financially stable.


CRISIS

She had sudden financial crisis after embarking on a huge project. To assist , I tutored the child for free and I was assisting her occasionally with finances cuz I had lesson gigs fetching me 6figures.

Soon, I started to realise her sudden change of attitude. The calls soon dropped and we started to have alot of unresolvable fights , reason being that she would rather not like to settle the conflict when I want to, but make it linger so I'd have to beg her even when she was wrong. She never likes to talk about the unresolved issues, so we could trash it amicably and make amends where necessary.


POINT OF REALISATION

I suspected she was sleeping around and one day I decided to pay her a visit . On that faithful day, I heard her elder sister over a loud phone conversation " Jane, u really have my time today that you didn't go to man's house"
". I cringed on hearing that . This is someone who said she doesn't sleep around because of the stereotype attached to being a single mom.

They both laughed about it and she told her sister that she was currently with a man. The sister said further " what of bros? He say he no do again or when he go engage u?
" .

This time I felt the ground should open up . "Bros" is an elderly man in his 50's who wants to marry her. We had a fight that night and she denied that she had anything to do with bros and her sis was joking about her visits to men. We trashed it and made up with sex.

Next morning she was on call with a male friend who wanted to borrow money from her and she called him babe.

Note that, she's called a different male friend babe accidentally too and she quickly defended that she calls all her male friends "babe" . I told her it wasn't cool. She got defensive and even called another male friend and she told him I was jealous, they both laughed and she ended the call with " I love you and he replied too". We had a fight . I left and still came back to check on her. I was ignored while she was on call with her male friend for 30mins after which she invited him over with 2 other guys.

I asked why and what for. She boldly told me "whatever activities I have with my friends is not your concern , even if we have 10some
" .


I was saddened because this was someone for once I was ready to risk it all to settle down with. She was probably entangled in something I never understood. I discovered that she clubbed on Sundays , and would never allow her daughter come live with her. The poor child has been living with her grandparents for 13yrs. My girlfriend also abused weed and alcohol. I saw all these in her fridge

THE PREGNANCY

I was broken by everything and kept my distance but we still spoke. Early this year, we both suspected she was pregnant since she missed her period. We did a test and I found out she was pregnant. 4weeks 8days but I doubted it was mine after all the recent discoveries. To cut the long story short she removed it and bled for days.

The disrespect and devaluation kept on going . I was mentally unstable for a while and took Ill. I couldn't resume to teach and I lost my job. My mother was angry with me for having anything to do with her.

I broke up with her cuz I realised what I had wasn't real. I realised I never did anything that bad to deserve all the treatments I received. I was supporting and loving and was even a father figure to her child .

I'm without a job now but I'll be commencing a technical training for a better job offer. I'm still unstable and hurt but I'll bounce.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in playing nice because ive been hurt before. I broke my rules and was disarmed by the love I had for a child and I fell in love with a lie. But it's all good. I learnt my lesson.

Anaconda76:
For the singular fact that she preferred her daughter to live with her grandparents instead of her is enough red flag.....yet you still chook head.

Oldhead:
Are you sure my bro?, that not all single moms are evil? Because they are never beating the allegations 9 out of ten times. I don’t know , I just feel that there’s this animosity single moms have for men in general, maybe it’s not pronounced in most cases but it’s there somewhere. Taking out the anger they feel for the one who they chose and who left them on other men. Funny thing is, you don’t even have to be dating a single mom to incur thier wrath. A single mom bleeped up my visa application and I was denied. What happened? She complained that I only call and text to ask about my application and that I don’t care to ask how she’s doing and whatnot. Couldn’t believe my ears.

angelboy01:
My advice to single guys, if you want to settle down look for a woman with a fresh womb. What do I mean a woman that hasn't given birth for another man before. You can't be single and still settle with fairly use. It's not fair to yourself and your own destiny.

ErnestNc:
I tried convincing her many times to let the kid live with her hoping it would make her a little responsible and cool headed. But she refused , claiming she has little or no bond with the child . The child too rarely misses the mom.