₦airaland Forum

budaatum:
Are you sure you'd like to make a grandparent with children who are themselves married, your 3rd baby mama?

I mean, it's not like you can possibly get me pregnant at my age even if you are brave enough to mount me, which I very much doubt along with your supposed ability to take care of me since I very comfortably take care of my self.

people get pregnant in their 70's ooo . but i take my offer back

budaatum:
I feel you. You assume all the women on Nairaland are "women of nowadays".

i hate that i have to generalize but it is what it is . everyone wants a ready made man yet forgetting it takes time for boys to grow into men.

Tgini:
i hate that i have to generalize but it is what it is . everyone wants a ready made man yet forgetting it takes time for boys to grow into men.

You don't hate to generalise. If you hated to generalise you wouldn't generalise. It's ignorant to generalise too, because you must know women who don't fit your generalisation, but you choose to ignore them.

I, after all, don't need a ready made man, since I'm very ready made myself. So what would I need a ready made man for when I can make a man ready myself.

But hey! Perhaps you are a boy whom we need to wait for to become a man and then ready. You'd likely think different then, as one smart boy implied below.

Tgini:
na old age when your kids are grown you go realise say marriage dey important

Tgini:
people get pregnant in their 70's ooo . but i take my offer back

Well, I'm not those people, and I don't need a houseboy, so we good.

budaatum:
"All these wedding brouhaha"? Are you sure you are ready to get married?

Personally, I don't agree with this your "renting a gown". It makes me think of renting a husband, and I'm very certain you don't want to be rented.

I think she wants to present herself to you gift wrapped in good packaging, so she should buy the packaging with her own money instead of asking you to buy packaging for her.

ridiculous

Workch:
Renting a wedding gown is not a good compromise?
It is what it is. One need to manage women desire properly when planning for a wedding else they might ruin you. I don't care what you call it but it's fact

Follow your heart bro, remember you have a family to take care of after wedding. If you fail in that one body go tell you.

Double0h7:
It’s really very simple; can you afford to throw the wedding she wants? A girl looks forward to her wedding day. Yes, it’s only one day blah blah blah, but it’s her one day. I think if you down play it and make her feel stupid for wanting to celebrate you two becoming one then you’ll start your marriage with a resentful wife. How old is she?

You really need to be honest and transparent with her. Promise her an amazing one year anniversary or something so she feels special to you. Don’t turn your marriage into the battle of the sexes! Find a good compromise with your girl. What she wants isn’t out of the ordinary but you need to be honest with her and try to find a middle ground.

But what's it with ladies and dream marriage they can't afford. Respectfully, a major red flag for me is a lady with a fantasy marriage which she expects the guy to sponsor.

Tgini:
i know women that have used their mother's wedding gown decades after. so wedding gowns are reusable

why is she not using her mom's gown?

Dzzzz:
Why you come break up with the lady?.You cheat Abi??

Nothing like cheating, she was under pressure to get married and me on my own part wasn't financially stable... So I had to free her.

Workch:
why is she not using her mom's gown?

Maybe here mom never bought a wedding gown , maybe her mom rented also

Oracleee:
But what's it with ladies and dream marriage they can't afford. Respectfully, a major red flag for me is a lady with a fantasy marriage which she expects the guy to sponsor.

That’s your choice! And it’s her choice to want what she wants. May you find your dreams and may those women find theirs.

Workch:
okay, I think you don't get it. She want to hire a tailor that will sew the wedding dress for 300k. She's not sewing by herself

now you're talking. You didn't state this 300k in your initial post for us to better understand the matter.

Tgini:
Maybe here mom never bought a wedding gown , maybe her mom rented also

Good. My point

What is her total monetary contribution to the wedding ,can't she balance up the money to get a new wedding gown.

Where does she work ?

Double0h7:
That’s your choice! And it’s her choice to want what she wants. May you find your dreams and may those women find theirs.

she can't fulfill are dreams by herself , what a shame,she has to stressed another adult to get her dream fulfill ,men dey marry rubbish

Saybal:
she can't fulfill are dreams by herself , what a shame,she has to stressed another adult to get her dream fulfill ,men dey marry rubbish

Well she probably can fulfill her dreams by herself but she’s wants a capable man who can shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her and his children. If you want to be taken care of then find your own man ☺️.

Men take care of their parents, wife, and children with extra to spare for those around them. Pray against fear of economic hardship! Ask God to bless you abundantly so that you could be a source of hope and joy for the people around you and those God may put in your care. It’s not by pissing while standing that qualifies you as a man.

Zonefree:
In my opinion, non virgin brides should wear Ankara on their wedding day.

Abi ooo! Or better still, she supports her husband to be by adding to the 50k to get what she want. She can't be demanding without supporting. My own for this guy is to avoid liability. In this present time, ladies should learn to support their husband to be

Oracleee:
But what's it with ladies and dream marriage they can't afford. Respectfully, a major red flag for me is a lady with a fantasy marriage which she expects the guy to sponsor.

Better still let her support the guy, I don't know why some lady can be this selfish, if she wants to sew based on her own taste, what stop her from adding her own money.

I don't know how you guys started your relationship to this point of marriage, I don't know how supportive she has been to you. To me, any woman you are taking in as your wife, should have this supportive spirit, I'm not saying she should start carrying your responsibilities, there are things she should be able to do for herself in other for life to flow, yes marriage is a very important event for both of you, not just for her alone but also for you. You have given her 50k for wedding dress and she wants it to be a sew one, that shouldn't be an issue, she can add what she has and get it done.

budaatum:
I think you are "the person not reasoning properly, or you at least want us to not reason properly, because I can't see where you are telling us the wedding dress she wants to sew for herself cost a "lot more money" than the ₦50, 000 you offered her.

That said, and even if it does cost a lot more money, she might be sewing her wedding dress to advertise her skills and make a lot more money, which would make a lot of sense to an entrepreneurially minded future husband that you might be.

Do you jump into all topics without going through it because I can’t find any sense in this your write up

koladata:
Don't rent weeding gown, so that if anything goes wrong you will know where your problem is coming from. (May your marriage be blessed and nothing will go wrong )

It's too spiritual to wear someone else's sweat not to talk of weeding cloth. If your are not buoyant enough, postpone it or don't wear wedding gown at all

I shake my head.
Op,
Please be mindful of advise from bachelors concerning this topic.

Workch:
lol, I will resolve it the way I just did. We are renting the gown, period

1000000000Likes

Workch:
your logic is not sound enough.
Suits can be reusable and wedding gowns cannot be resuble often.
There are several reasons why wedding gown renting is a business, you need to reason

You are right man, who wears wedding gown to school, work, church, occasions even other people’s wedding? but suits can attend all, so suits are reusable while wedding gowns are for a day and won’t be bad to be rented but if she want to sow it in a way that she can still be wearing it as normal occasional wear then my support goes to her.

uchman:
Do you jump into all topics without going through it because I can’t find any sense in this your write up

Experience tells me you got to really work your brain hard to find sense in anything I write.

Try it a couple or so months and come back to me.

Double0h7:
Well she probably can fulfill her dreams by herself but she’s wants a capable man who can shoulder the responsibility of taking care of her and his children. If you want to be taken care of then find your own man ☺️.

Men take care of their parents, wife, and children with extra to spare for those around them. Pray against fear of economic hardship! Ask God to bless you abundantly so that you could be a source of hope and joy for the people around you and those God may put in your care. It’s not by pissing while standing that qualifies you as a man.

As for me God has already bless me am not afraid of any economy hardship ,but I will not have any thing to do with such a woman who can not provide herself with such things as simple with wedding gown of 300,000

Workch:
I'm planning my wedding and my fiancee suggested that she wants to sew a wedding gown, and then I gave her an option to rent one for N50, 000 so I can channel the finance elsewhere. She's insisting that she will hire a tailor to sew one for her, so then I told her that I will give her the N50, 000 and that's what I can afford for the gown.

I'm doing this because I feel like it's just a day dress and allocating funds to other things will be better. Hiring a tailor to sew a new wedding gown for lot more money for just a day does not really make sense to me, especially if I still need funds for other things and she is wearing it once.

Am I the person not reasoning properly?

Workch, You haven’t even married yet and you’re already bringing your marital issues outside. Guy, talk to your woman.
If your wife wears a borrowed gown she clearly hates, your marriage has already started with cracks. That resentment won’t disappear o. It will just sit there quietly and surface later. And since you say you're thinking long-term, better factor this hidden bitterness into your calculations.
The gown means a lot to her. Is it childish or illogical from a man's perspective? Maybe but it's her day just as it's yours. So don't even talk about borrowing dress.

Now, she wants a new dress and the problem is the 300k, not the dress itself. Sit down like adults and discuss how to handle the remaining 250k.
You’re already spending seriously on this wedding. Calmly remind her your hands are tied financially, but you want her happiness, and ask how she wants you both to solve it.
If you can't even have this kind of conversation before the marriage starts. Bro..

Communication is the critical issue here. Fix that one first. Forget the dress or 300k.

MARRIAGES NO DEY LAST

nnamdi640:
Better still let her support the guy, I don't know why some lady can be this selfish, if she wants to sew based on her own taste, what stop her from adding her own money.

Well I guess you attract your kind.

Dammm base on local logistics

Bro , nah rent be the way out ..I did mine nah rent we rent , nah one day shit and wasting money on irrelevant shit is a no no for me .if she no fit understand you now , omo you sure say she go understand you later or after marriage, wetin I see for her side be say , she go dey materialistic in nature.....omo bro I go advice you to stand your ground, no allow woman control you Abeg

Workch:
it's well. You just don't get it but it's well

You’re communicating with a WOMAN on a wrong topic.. a sentimental woman at that.

Stop this correspondence immediately!

Your calculation correct. But your strategy wrong. You dey play chess for where she dey play love story.

E no be about who get sense pass. E be about whether you go allow her dream win small, or you go use your logic win and face the wahala wey go follow am.

If you be hardcore man, you go stand your ground. But know say the result fit be two things: either she respect your boundaries as the logical man, or she begin dey see you as person wey no fit understand her heart.

Na you know which one you want