₦airaland Forum

This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

Dpsychologist:
Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

We, is "turn personal experiences into universal laws".

If I ask Modern men on Nairaland, many are redpill olosho customer trained by Andrew Tate.

Dpsychologist:
What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

But that change is inevitable.

Person who refused to have a vasectomy and instead drugged his wife every month because he was satisfied with his two boys and tell me he'd be able to ever sleep when my eyes open to a trick as old as Adam telling Eve she'd surely die.

Dpsychologist:
At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Tired of being oppressed by small minded men.

Dpsychologist:
The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

And some men are just Gods!

No man wants to marry a fellow man in the true sense of the word! Besides, who their money epp? Let them feed you for a month, and you'd see that they are not designed to be providers.
As the famous cliche goes, "give a hundred men 100 million each, and they will look for women to share it with. On the other hand, give a 100 women 100 million each, you'd hear 'I don't need a man' from most of them". So, it's basically about how useful you are to them, nothing more!

Real men prefer women that are successful and independent!!!!!!!

The only problem is real men never negotiate the standard of respect they deserve as a man.

When successful women realize that respect is not negotiable with real men, then there will be more men marring them.

No matter the status! When a woman respect you as a man or husband , she deserves your love and respect too.

Never kill the MAN ( poor or rich) in you for any type of woman.
Respect is reciprocal

Nothing beats a successful woman who still loves, cherishes, adores and respects her man but they are very few.

A lot of women, once they attain a certain level of success will begin to assume they're greater than the man. I had a girl one time who was struggling to get by but when things began to change it was the same me who always encouraged her and even gave her some work ideas that could increase her remunerations, always encouraged her to increase output but when we had a small issue she escalated it, cut me off and even threatened to use the law on me... Lol she constantly threw in the fact that she has more spending power than me. What she didn't know was she came in while I was going through a downward spiral financially and why she felt I was doing okay I was actually drowning but she felt she's known me while in reality what she earns a month i normally rake it in a week. It's women like that who make men generalize that all financially successful/ independent women are a no go. But the truth is a successful woman who knows herself will do a man a lot of good than the opposite. She will complement you in so many ways.

Any woman who uses her success as a weapon against her partner is suffering from poverty and lack mentality of the mind and same goes for men too. I know some friends way back who had privileged positions and offices when I was still working in Abuja. These are people I used to help before but they used my eyes see shege... Today they're not how they used to be. Some say success exposes the true nature of people

Truth is money is Power and power tends to corrupt as absolute power corrupts absolutely.

So in this context the real issue isn't in the success of the woman but the woman herself. There's nothing to be afraid in the success of your woman but everything to celebrate

A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date a man who is "more successful" than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now this severely limits her options. For a woman who has N10million in her account, she's looking for a man with almost N50-100million in liquid cash.

She's looking up and there are only such a few of such men in the dating pool. It's like saying I as a guy will only date a girl who is earning N5m per month.

There are only such few girls in this country. If I put that as my mindset, anyone wise person will know that I'm ready to be single for a long time or for life.

Now, to the second part of this equation, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very "more successful" men that they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

If I'm a man and I'm earning N10m a month on this country, why should I care what my woman is earning when I want to pick a wife?

I can comfortably take care of any woman I want. Emphasise here is on "the woman I want".

No man in history has ever listed "success" or a specific naira figure when they are looking for a wife.

To most men, all you hear is "she must be beautiful, respectful, love me, submissive, does not cheat and speak softly"

And if any man ever mentions that his wife must be hardworking, it is usually in the area of keeping his house clean.

The reason why success is never a criteria for men looking for wives is very simple: a successful woman always wants a more successful man who will still pay for everything

Take for instance, regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, here's a dilemma, these women are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way.

So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village and pickin a lowlife man or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

But then this almost will never happen.

Look at someone like DJ cuppy, everyday there are men in her comment section who will marry her and treat her like a queen.

Look at tiwa savage there are men who will willingly be her 'house' husband.

But regardless of success and the money these women have, they still want a bigger fish.

Cuppy always following Anthony Joshua up and down.

Now is Anthony Joshua intimidated by DJ cuppy? Of course not.

He's just not interested because she has nothing to offer him. Not virginity, not youth, nothing.

So, single successful women are not single because men are intimidated by them. They are single because of 4 simple things:

1. They lack flexibility in that they don't want to date downward

2. The men that are higher than them, don't desire them

3. They don't really know what men want because they chase success and once they get success, they think they have higher marketplace values.

4. And so they raise their standards, meanwhile men who meet such standards, don't want them back.

And so, they are at the top, with high standards and no one to chase after them instead of them doing the chasing.

When they are supposed to chase after Okada men, pick such Okada men and turn them to "house" husbands that they can provide for, just as Ronaldo picked a salesgirl and turn her into a wife.

These successful women are still looking to be chased by men who are richer. It's a joke.

Send me a DM if you're a successful woman I will marry you now now

The big problem is that no African man wants to be controlled by his wife, and the more successful a woman is, the more difficult to be submissive to her man. Ordinary accidentally famous bread seller, who got small money & fame unexpectedly, disposed her struggling husband within a year.

Besides, even fellow men would be ridiculing the husband, he is lazy and weak man and that, it's her wife that feeding him.

Men want to be providers.
That is their natural role.
So a successful man will seek a "lower" woman whom he can raise up.
A woman who will "look up' to him.... AND respect him as a well.
-
When a woman is already an MD, with phone, driving Benz etc successful... what else is left
for a man to do in her life? She's not going to "look up" to anything.
And no man wants that unnatural stress.

Naija women go oppress you, pocket you. na few get oil

The real problem is that the unsuccessful ones want to be setting standard like the successful ones

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date q man who is more successful than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now, the question is, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very men they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

Of course not, because regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, they are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way. So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

Then and only then are we ready to have this conversation.

You just hit the nail on the head .I couldn't agree more

Not afraid, intimidated. There is no need for a woman to succum to a dominant man since she already has money. She should go and marry a man that is willing to be dominated and jump into the kitchen for her. There are men like that

Women are exploiters,nothing more
A fivorce lawyer was asked whats the surest sign a marriage will collapse in all your years of experience.
He said once a woman starts outearning her husband, the end is near
Is that a coincidence or onve a woman realizes she doesnt need your money then she also realizes she has no use for you and cant even bring herself to respect you
You need to see the way women talk about poor men l,men they consider poor anyway, as if they are less than humans
The one i saw recently was even a girl complaining about her brother that he is a dunce,stupid boy etc etc because of money
Doesnt he know how his mates are buying cars
Me i was just observing
Not the least suprised

Well encapsulated. U don finish work for this matter

Host78:
A whole lot of rűbbïsh you wrote there.

First off, successful women are single because they are successful.

They are single because like every woman out there, they want to "date up".

Let's imagine this, when a man is successful, he doesn't look for a girl that is "on his level" or "higher" than him to start a relationship with her.

He can go to a filling station and see a girl there and start dating her.

Ronaldo was very successful and would have gotten to date any high value actress or model from anywhere in the world.

But he at the same time is flexible enough to go to a clothing store and pick one of the sales girl there and date her.

Women lack this flexibility. No matter how successful a woman is, she still wants to date q man who is more successful than her.

She'll never go to the gutter to pick any kind of man, even the one that will worship the ground she walks on.

Now, the question is, and this is the usual problem with these women which they don't admit to themselves: the very men they want don't usually want them. .

There are many successful actresses in Nigeria, but do you think someone as successful as Davido wants to date them for their success?

Of course not, because regardless of how successful these actresses are, Davido understands that "spending" in the relationship will still fall on him because he's higher than them.

So, they are hugely successful, they have bigger appetites, they want him to impress them. What exactly does he gain in return from dating such "successful" women?

Absolutely nothing.

The success of a woman does not benefit the more successful man she wants in any meaningful way. So why should he date her when he could find someone prettier, someone who will be more grateful for his love?

The only way a successful woman can ascertain if men are intimidated by her is her going into the village or an Okada man or a cab man or a salesman and changing his life.

Let her pick such a man up, brush him up and give him the world and treat him like a king just as Ronaldo or Davido is treating their "poor" spouses like they are queens.

Then and only then are we ready to have this conversation.

Dpsychologist:
This argument keeps trending because people keep missing the point.

Some say men are afraid of successful women.
Others say that’s rubbish and an excuse.

The truth sits uncomfortably in the middle, and that’s why nobody wants to stay there.

Let’s clear one thing first and like the tweet in the image below says: Modern men are not strangers to capable women. We were raised by working mothers, taught by female teachers, managed by female bosses, and went to school with ambitious girls. Female success is not a shock. It is normal life.

So no, success alone is not what scares most men.

But let’s not lie to ourselves either. Some men are intimidated by successful women. Not all men and not most men. But enough to make the conversation valid. If men can feel threatened by another man’s success, why should a woman’s success be magically different? Ego has no gender.

Now here is the part both sides tend to avoid talking about much.

What many men react to is not success, but what sometimes follows it. A change in attitude. Respect quietly leaving the room. Confidence crossing the line into contempt. Independence being used as an excuse to avoid accountability.

At the same time, number of women are actually exhausted. Tired of shrinking themselves. Tired of being told to be less loud, less confident, less visible. Tired of their confidence being labelled arrogance simply because it comes from a woman.

Both experiences are real.

The problem starts when people turn personal experiences into universal laws.
“All men are intimidated” is false.
“No man is intimidated” is also false.

The real issue is insecurity, poor emotional maturity, and lack of balance.

A secure man is not threatened by a woman’s growth. He is inspired by it.
A grounded woman does not use success as a weapon. She carries it with grace.

Confidence is not arrogance.
Independence is not disrespect.
Success is not superiority.

Marriage is not boxing. It is not power play. It is not a battle for who earns more or talks louder. It is partnership.

Ideal 'Equality' is not about using history as leverage. It is about shared standards today. Empowerment is not exemption from accountability. It is responsibility with power.

If your success makes someone uncomfortable, it might be their insecurity.
If your success turns you into someone difficult to live with, it might be your character.

Both things can be true at the same time.

Until we learn to talk about this honestly, without shouting “men” or “women” like war slogans, this debate will keep recycling itself.

Now, who is ready for that uncomfortable honesty?

A resounding YES! Especially African men .

Men are not

But i can not allow women lead me

The pressure on the average man is already too much, no man wants a woman who will add to it because of her 'class' what every man values is a loyal partner that will give him peace of mind, you can keep your status to yourself

EmperorIsaac:
No man wants to marry a fellow man in the true sense of the word! Besides, who their money epp? Let them feed you for a month, and you'd see that they are not designed to be providers.

you have said it all...no pray make woman feed you oooo.

Generally yes for the average man but depends on the circumstances.

As the success usually gets into their head!

Na woman na!

First of all, men aren't 'afraid' of successful women. And high time we understood what real success is.

Men are allergic to the 'I make my own money so I don't need to respect you' energy, the weaponized independence that excuses zero accountability or basic femininity.

How can men be afraid of successful women, Men were raised and grew up around queens who built empires and still knew how to build a home. Men celebrate capable women. What they dodge is the arrogant ones who think a fat bank account buys them a free pass to act like men with worse attitudes.

Same reason high-value women ghost insecure broke boys who can't handle her shine. It's not success scaring anybody, it's garbage character hiding behind a fat bank account..

Secure men want partners, not competitors with chips on their shoulders. If that's 'intimidating,' stay single and keep telling yourself it's the men’s fear. The mirror doesn't lie."

"Men don't fear successful women.
They fear the bitter, contemptuous divas who think success = license to treat men like doormats.
You weaponize wins and wonder why winners keep walking.
It's not intimidation,it's standards.
weaponize wins, demand worship, then wonder why real men vanish.
It's not intimidation, it's nausea.
The mirror's brutal."

No man wants character defects packaged in designers.


These are successful women below

Plz can someone help me with their names... I know Genevieve, I know omotola, I know Funke Akindele,I also know Assist Oshiola and Tiwa savage, but I dnt know the rest...

If the success doesn't Affect her feminity and ability to give mutual respect, then there's no problem.

They are really not afraid, but could feel insecure.

They are really not afraid, but could feel unsecure.

Marriage abhors independence especially on the part of the woman
There is no definition of independence that fits into marriage
Once the woman begins to introduce the idea of independence, the man becomes threatened and rightly so because that is an invasion of his God ordained leadership space
If a woman will not contemplate independence in a relationship especially marriage, no man will feel insecure
In the original context of marriage, the woman is under the man's protection and custody Irrespective of her social, political,or economic status no form of independence is contemplated

Men ain't afraid, they only avoid the woman if she has attitude problem.


No man would see a woman who isn't a liability and run away, if the success gets into her head and she wanna turn him to boy boy a real man won't allow that happen.

People ignore the fact that money amplifies character

Men are not afraid of "Successful " Women but then you have to define what "Success" means.

1. Does Success means Good paying Jobs, Successful Carrer path, more money for for your needs and the Vain stuff?