₦airaland Forum

Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.

Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

You should not have sent her that kind of message.
If you call and she didnt pick, what you should have sent was
Hope you've gotten home, just checking in.

She should be the one to tell you if she enjoyed the date or not.

I dont also fancy the idea of spending 15% of your income on one date.

Coolis:
Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.

Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

U shouldn’t have gone on a date with a lady thats not giving you good energy on phone in the first place… she just you u chop free food… its a norm for them

Thank you, so what do you suggest now? Should l still try things out to how it goes or l should just move on? I already apologized to her that if she acted just in time to get back to me that she missed my calls, l wouldn't have concluded our meeting meant nothing to her.

lilvicky68:
You should not have sent her that kind of message.
If you call and she didnt pick, what you should have sent was
Hope you've gotten home, just checking in.

She should be the one to tell you if she enjoyed the date or not.

I dont also fancy the idea of spending 15% of your income on one date.

Coolis:
✓ Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.
Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

A woman is not a toy but a living, breathing entity exactly like you. The only difference is that she has a different plumbing system than you do. That is all. 🥱🥱

Reading this post of yours, I will recommend that the girl never contact you again because all it shows is that you are not ready to date anyone at all. How can you say you want to date anyone, only for you to hyper focus on the mundane and not on what matters, which is supposedly chemistry between the two of you? 🥱🥱

If that girl had come concerned only about how much she would obtain from you, would you have considered her sensible? 🥱🥱

Coolis:
Thank you, so what do you suggest now? Should l still try things out to how it goes or l should just move on? I already apologized to her that if she acted just in time to get back to me that she missed my calls, l wouldn't have concluded our meeting meant nothing to her.

If you move on now how will you get back your fried rice and chicken you bought for her? 😆

I don't know if it's a red flag or not...



I just want to comment that men dey suffer o. After spending your hard earned but scarce resources you are still the one calling her to ask if she enjoyed her day and if she could do it again sometime. Do it again sometime like come and chop my hard earned scarce resources again


Na you dey beg her to come spend your money be that.

Back to the question I know I said I wasn't sure if it was red flag or not but on second thought. I think it is.

After eating Free meal she didn't even call to say thank you.

Use one eye dey look her for now!

Coolis:
Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.

Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

First and foremost, I would advice u not to start reading meanings to all her actions yet. Give r a second trial. Besides it is just the first date. However, dont spend on r. Just leave it at phone call and texting. Avoid unecessary date for now. If there must be any date, invite r tover to ur place instead. Just believe she went for a programme for now. She might be saying the truth and might also be lying.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice






uote author=gunners160 post=138412994] First and foremost, I would advice u not to start reading meanings to all her actions yet. Give r a second trial. Besides it is just the first date. However, dont spend on r. Just leave it at phone call and texting. Avoid unecessary date for now. If there must be any date, invite r tover to ur place instead. Just believe she went for a programme for now. She might be saying the truth and might also be lying.[/quote]

You are hard on me but l can understand. Not trying to paint her in a bad light. Still very much interested in her. I will take your points to mean there's no red flag yet. Thank you

Kobojunkie:
A women is not a toy but a living breathing entity exactly like you. The only difference is that she has a different plumbing system than you do. That is all. 🥱🥱

Reading this post of yours, I will recommend that girl never contact you again because all it shows is that you are not ready to date anyone at all. How can you say you are wanting to date anyone only for you to hyper focus on the mundane and not on what matters which is supposedly chemistry between the two of you? 🥱🥱

If that girl had come concerned only about how much she would obtain from you, would you consider her sensible? 🥱🥱

How man go do now? Sometimes, it's wisdom to behave like a SIMP to get what one want. Thank you

brain54:
I don't know if it's a red flag or not...



I just want to comment that men dey suffer o. After spending your hard earned but scarce resources you are still the one calling her to ask if she enjoyed her day and if she could do it again sometime. Do it again sometime like come and chop my hard earned scarce resources again


Na you dey beg her to come spend your money be that.

Back to the question I know I said I wasn't sure if it was red flag or not but on second thought. I think it is.

After eating Free meal she didn't even call to say thank you.

Use one eye dey look her for now!

Haba, lol l'm not bother about what has gone. My concern now is not to engage in another wasteful spending if there is a red flag but judging by comments so far, there isn't much of a red flag yet so l will still try shall . Thank you

lilvicky68:
If you move on now how will you get back your fried rice and chicken you bought for her? 😆

I don't want to be hasty in judging her. Still want to try things out, that's why l brought it out for views. Thank you

advanceDNA:
U shouldn’t have gone on a date with a lady thats not giving you good energy on phone in the first place… she just you u chop free food… its a norm for them

Anytime I see guys giving ladies money as per relationship...

It breaks me..... I have never and will never give any lady money... As per romantic relationship... Except I am comfortable with you and the lady has spent on me...

Well you can call and apologize.... Maybe you two just had a rough start.

Yeah, l already did that but if you love and care about someone, giving to them shouldn't be a problem. For those of us that are of the Christian faith, it's biblical to Give. John 3:16 For God so love that He gave. Love and giving go hand in hand. Thank you

MONEY247:
Anytime I see guys giving ladies money as per relationship...

It breaks me..... I have never and will never give any lady money... As per romantic relationship... Except I am comfortable with you and the lady has spent on me...

Well you can call and apologize.... Maybe you two just had a rough start.

I also like your perspective on his response. He shows desperation and need for validation.

lilvicky68:
Dating is expensive guy!

I dont also fancy the idea of spending 15% of your income on one date.

I also like your perspective on his response. He shows desperation and need for validation. Dating is expensive guy!

lilvicky68:
I dont also fancy the idea of spending 15% of your income on one date.

Coolis:
Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.

Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

You're immature to say the least. If she ever dates you, she wouldn't be her normal self anymore cos you'd want every loyalty tied to you. Sure signs of a weakling. She was unto people before she ever met you. Why do you feel so special?. Instead of letting things rhyme and even care about welfare, you're nagging

Thank you. I
admitted been a bit hasty, but then, the distance l covered for the date last Saturday, was far more than hers. If she was the one that reached out first one the night to find out if l arrived home safely, the heaven wouldn't have fell. I tried several times to reach her, she didn't answer. Why didn't she send a message to me first to acknowledge the missed calls? Why waiting until l sent before she replied? Look at it from both sides na.

ILoveFaith:
You're immature to say the least. If she ever dates you, she wouldn't be her normal self anymore cos you'd want every loyalty tied to you. Sure signs of a weakling. She was unto people before she ever met you. Why do you feel so special?. Instead of letting things rhyme and even care about welfare, you're nagging

Which one is "l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself". What sorta excuse of denial is this? If you've been communicating or attempting to communicate with someone you met last year and they're barely responding to your or your questions, then they're not interested or might be in another relationship already, which means you should stop wasting your time and move on.

Which one is "I ate well from my house so as not to order their food.... I also thought that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong". If you're taking someone out on a date and it's you who asked them out and the person suggested a restaurant, then you should have enough money for both of you to eat! You saying you ate well from your house and thought she would've also eaten from her house is rubbish. If you're broke or cheap, then just say that instead of talking nonsense. Of course, she should also have her own money, but if you're taking someone out, as the man who did the asking, it should be YOU who pays. She didn't even order much; she ordered fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke, which came to N6200. That's just $4.57 USD and 5.47 CAD. So that was too much for you to spend and to the extent that you couldn't order anything for yourself but a bottle of Schweppes for 1K? You seem like a cheapo or a miser. If I were her, I wouldn't pick up your call again either. I'm not saying someone should be on a date with you and be ordering expensive food but what she ordered wasn't costly and if you can't afford that, then you've no business taking anyone out on a date.

BOTH of you are red flags. It's likely that she wasn't interested from the get-go, while you are a cheapo/miser/stingy somebody anyway.

There's beauty in honesty and for me, I would prefer to tell her what's real from the start if I want something serious with her.

There's nothing wrong in saying you've checked the prices and it's in the high side, can you try someplace else?


That was one of the qualities I used to impress when I was in the game. Having a great experience on a small budget because I'm creative with it. Makes them want to come again.

As for your experience, you can try again, this time on your terms: place and time. Let her know you like her and would want something serious with her. If she's game, you would observe and if not, cut all emotions and communication.

Your time and money is precious except you want to fool around.

I think you’re trying too hard and you’re setting yourself up to get hurt then you’ll join the angry men’s club and start calling women names. Learn to respect yourself and others will follow suit. Never call someone you don’t know more than once. If they don’t call you back or acknowledge your efforts then move on.

Kobojunkie:
A women is not a toy but a living breathing entity exactly like you. The only difference is that she has a different plumbing system than you do. That is all. 🥱🥱

Reading this post of yours, I will recommend that girl never contact you again because all it shows is that you are not ready to date anyone at all. How can you say you are wanting to date anyone only for you to hyper focus on the mundane and not on what matters which is supposedly chemistry between the two of you? 🥱🥱

If that girl had come concerned only about how much she would obtain from you, would you consider her sensible? 🥱🥱

You don come.

You better you forget about her, she is coming for your money,

NotOfThisWorld:
Which one is "l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself". What sorta excuse of denial is this? If you've been communicating or attempting to communicate with someone with someone you met last year and they're barely responding to your or your questions, then they're not interested or might be in another relationship already, which means you should stop wasting your time and move on.

Which one is "I ate well from my house so as not to order their food.... I also thought that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong". If you're taking someone out on a date and it's you who asked them out and the person suggested a restaurant, then you should have enough money for both of you to eat! You saying you ate well from your how and thought she would've also eaten from her house is rubbish. If you're broke or cheap, then just say that instead of talking nonsense. Of course, she should also have her own money, but if you're taking someone out, as the man who did the asking, it should be YOU who pays. She didn't even order much; she ordered fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke, which came to N6200. That's just $4.57 CAD and 5.47 CAD. So that was too much for you to spend and to the extent that you couldn't order anything for yourself but a bottle of Schweppes for 1K? You seem like a cheapo or a miser. If I were her, I wouldn't pick up your call again either. I'm not saying someone should be on a date with you and be ordering expensive food but what she ordered wasn't costly and if you can't afford that, then you've no business taking anyone out on a date.

BOTH of you are red flags. It's likely that she wasn't interested from the get-go, while you are a cheapo/miser/stingy somebody anyway.

Take this from a female , she isnt interested in u and her reason for coming on that date was just to measure u up.sad but its the truth. U spending roughly 6k on a date isnt something u should be whining about .she was even very considerate ordering just a plate of rice,fish and a bottle of coke.U initiated the date and she showed up . U may be a nice guy but she doesnt see anything working between u both hence the nonchallance from her. After the date not even a " Thank You"?Big red flag stop hoping on another date except maybe u want to be santa.Dont be a simp bro!!!

Leave him, he has seen signs very soon he will start seeing wonders

NotOfThisWorld:
Which one is "l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself". What sorta excuse of denial is this? If you've been communicating or attempting to communicate with someone you met last year and they're barely responding to your or your questions, then they're not interested or might be in another relationship already, which means you should stop wasting your time and move on.

Which one is "I ate well from my house so as not to order their food.... I also thought that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong". If you're taking someone out on a date and it's you who asked them out and the person suggested a restaurant, then you should have enough money for both of you to eat! You saying you ate well from your house and thought she would've also eaten from her house is rubbish. If you're broke or cheap, then just say that instead of talking nonsense. Of course, she should also have her own money, but if you're taking someone out, as the man who did the asking, it should be YOU who pays. She didn't even order much; she ordered fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke, which came to N6200. That's just $4.57 USD and 5.47 CAD. So that was too much for you to spend and to the extent that you couldn't order anything for yourself but a bottle of Schweppes for 1K? You seem like a cheapo or a miser. If I were her, I wouldn't pick up your call again either. I'm not saying someone should be on a date with you and be ordering expensive food but what she ordered wasn't costly and if you can't afford that, then you've no business taking anyone out on a date.

BOTH of you are red flags. It's likely that she wasn't interested from the get-go, while you are a cheapo/miser/stingy somebody anyway.

Coolis:
Been hearing of red flag, don't know if there is one here already.

Met this lady toward the end of last year in Maraba area of Nasarawa state. I reside in one-man villagers area of Nasarawa state while she reside in the lokogoma area in the FCT.
We 've been chatting. l realized she doesn't like typing much words so she doesn't give out enough information about herself. l decided we meet physically again last Saturday so we can get to know more about each other and that l would be coming to her area. I asked her to send me the address of where she stays in the FCT but she suggested we meet at one of the eateries in their area which l agreed.
She suggested ShopRite in Apo/lokogoma area and l said okay.

NOTE-
1, l like her a lot.
2, my income is about 100k in a month.
3, To and fro one-man village to lokogoma area in the FCT using public transport will take 5k or more.

I had about 15k on the day which l thought could take care of my TP and what she would eat. I knew eating out at ShopRite would be quite expensive than the regular eateries like Chicken republic and the likes.

I cut my coat according to my size. We agreed to meet at ShopRite by 3pm but l decided to get there earlier by 2pm to find out their food and snacks prices.
Meat pie and a bottle of soft drink N2500. Fried/jollof rice with a drink N6200.

I ate well from my house so as not to order their food. I also thought
that someone coming out for a date at an eatery by 3pm, would have eaten from their house and wouldn't order food but light refreshment like a snack and bottle of soft drink but l was wrong.
After a while of my friend joining me, l told her let's go to the service desk so she could make her order. Without hesitation, she told them she wanted fried rice with fish and a bottle of coke N6200. The moment l was told of her bill which must be settled before the food is given to her, l decided not to order anything at all but on a second thought, l asked they add one bottle of Schweppes(1k) for me. I know you will call me a SIMP here but it's better only her eat than the both of us to eat which would have taken all the money in my pocket and going back to my area a serious challenge.

When we were done at ShopRite, at our departure point, she was joining along taxi to her area, l gave 1k to her to settle the taxi man, she didn't want to take it but l insisted and she accepted it.

Now, here's is why l asked if there is already a Red flag.

I told her l would call her in the evening of the day, the l idea was to find out if she had a great time and if we could do it again soon. I called her around 7:30pm twice, the phone rang but no response. I called again around 9:45pm still no response. Then l sent a message to her on watsapp that it looks like l didn't measure up to her standard and that l couldn't believe she didn't answer all calls l put across to her. I told her it seems our meeting meant nothing to her.

After a few minutes later, she replied me that she went for a program that lasted more than she thought. That was why she couldn't answer. I replied her that she should have sent a message acknowledging my missed calls and l wouldn't have insinuated our meeting meant nothing to her.
I haven't reached out to her since then and haven't heard from her either.
Men and brethren, you have it all. What do you think? Is there a red flag yet? Should l still reach out and maintain contact or to forget her? Thank you

I sometimes wonder how people actually try to make excuses for people who are nonchalant and giving cold vibes. Times has changed man, either you count it as a loss and move on, or you keep draining yourself. It's quite obvious from your piece that you'd drain yourself a lot to get anything meaningful, that's if relationship is the goal. But come on, you don't stress for things like this anymore.

Coolis:
Thank you. I
admitted been a bit hasty, but then, the distance l covered for the date last Saturday, was far more than hers. If she was the one that reached out first one the night to find out if l arrived home safely, the heaven wouldn't have fell. I tried several times to reach her, she didn't answer. Why didn't she send a message to me first to acknowledge the missed calls? Why waiting until l sent before she replied? Look at it from both sides na.

If I get the right understanding of things, you're the one trying to fix things. Trying to make out/up. You didn't even care about welfare. All you were asking is about yourself and something to oil your ego as if she's a wife. You barely just know her. Give this things time. Do you know if she's seen a ton of people like you who turn out to be people that's not worth the time? Stay different and you'll get different response

Coolis:
I already apologized to her that if she acted just in time to get back to me that she missed my calls, l wouldn't have concluded our meeting meant nothing to her.

All this apologies and match has not started yet, you better trash this chapter and forget her. ALLOW her show interest too and don't call or check up on anything before you appear too thirsty and clingy.