₦airaland Forum

Hello Niralanders, as you chase your dreams abroad, don't forget the people and place that made you. Home is where the heart is, and it's the friends and family that make it truly special. Don't let comfort and distance make you forget where you came from. One day, you'll be old and ready to come back home, but if you've lost touch with loved ones, you'll be left with empty memories. Hold on to home, and the people who truly care about you 🌍.

You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

Apart from ghosting APC supporters, I dont think you need to ghost your friends when you relocate

Let retirement come na. You should learn to move on with the next level. Even in Nigeria, people are cutting ties, lest talk of japa. As you move on in life, your environment will start to shape you and if there's nothing that can keep that relationship, it's best to cut it but association is not by force. One thing about Nigerians is that they like to behave like sheeps, they want to do what everyone else is doing, they can't be themselves. That's why they are always looking for a shepherd to save them when they can use their head. The person who has japa is facing a new reality of life, don't add your own to theirs except you have anything useful to give back. Relationships must not be forced.

You people just find a way to guilt trip people for your insecurities. Grow up.

lilvicky68:
Apart from ghosting APC supporters, I dont think you need to ghost your friends when you relocate

Many of them go take billings finish you while you have not even found your feet. Abroad is broader than everyone think back home. When you are in the system the reality hits you hard and you dont want anyone to add to your pressure reason many become ghost

ChizzyBuna said it straight. The billing thing is real and people underestimate how much it factors in.

The moment some people hear you landed abroad, suddenly everyone has a sick relative, school fees crisis, or business idea that just needs "small support to take off." You haven't even sorted your own accomodation yet and people already know your number.

After getting burned a few times by that, a lot of people just go quiet as a survival mechanism. It's not that they dont care. Its that they can't afford to care yet and don't know how to explain that without it turning into long argument.

The other side is also true sha — some people genuinely just change and feel too big once they enter abroad. You can tell the difference. One person is quiet because they're struggling and don't want to look bad. The other person is quiet because they think they've outgrown you.

The funniest part of ChizzyBuna's story is that his friend ended up in Germany and started doing the same thing to him lmaooo. That's the ultimate lesson right there. People change when their circumstances change and nobody is as loyal as they think they are until they've actually been tested.

OP's message is sweet sha but the reality is more complicated. You can't guilt trip people into staying connected. If the relationship has value, both parties will put in effort naturally.

If you like ghost me from now till tomorrow I won't even notice........Apart from my siblings I have close bond with I don't relate that much with any other person.

lilvicky68:
Apart from ghosting APC supporters, I dont think you need to ghost your friends when you relocate

trust me you will do the same when you relocate abroad.
Family will always be in contact
But friends and pals nahhhh. That will be tough

I remember when I tried doing video call with one of my homie
Omo na darkness I just dey see
Only his teeth was showing plus network was cracking..
So I started feeling bad because my backdrop was a beautiful chandelier light and a well clean room. It felt like I was oppressing him

And he will make comments like chaii you are enjoying ooo. Help your guy naa.
Omo I decided to back off a bit because I can't keep doing that to him mentally because we are in 2 different realities so there is nothing much that keep us together apart from old memories of our days in Naija.

It's a complicated something

ChizzyBuna:
trust me you will do the same when you relocate abroad.
Family will always be in contact
But friends and pals nahhhh. That will be tough

I remember when I tried doing video call with one of my homie
Omo na darkness I just dey see
Only his teeth was showing plus network was cracking..
So I started feeling bad because my backdrop was a beautiful chandelier light and a well clean room. It felt like I was oppressing him

And he will make comments like chaii you are enjoying ooo. Help your guy naa.
Omo I decided to back off a bit because I can't keep doing that to him mentally because we are in 2 different realities so there is nothing much that keep us together apart from old memories of our days in Naija.

It's a complicated something

Omo, but if na your main guy at least you suppose find something give am even if not immediately.

ChizzyBuna:
trust me you will do the same when you relocate abroad.
Family will always be in contact
But friends and pals nahhhh. That will be tough

I remember when I tried doing video call with one of my homie
Omo na darkness I just dey see
Only his teeth was showing plus network was cracking..
So I started feeling bad because my backdrop was a beautiful chandelier light and a well clean room. It felt like I was oppressing him

And he will make comments like chaii you are enjoying ooo. Help your guy naa.
Omo I decided to back off a bit because I can't keep doing that to him mentally because we are in 2 different realities so there is nothing much that keep us together apart from old memories of our days in Naija.

It's a complicated something

You didn't try at all. We know your type. Nothing stopped you from helping him if he was truly your bestie. What happend to "...Friends for Life!" You no be better person.

The people who japa and turn ghost mode act like they have struck gold. They see japa as an achievement and anyone who messages them as a beggar waiting to ask them for money. The ghostmode thing is not only for their friends or contacts, it even extends to their parents. There's a struggling family I know, the girl got a scholarship to japa to Canada. Her dad sold off a piece of land to but the ticket and other processing. But as she japa, the family at home is still the same. The rented house she left them in 5 years ago is still where they are but on social media this girl shows off herself doing monthly vacations around the world. Ghosts her family, blames her other siblings for being lazy. Glad for them, one of the sons just japa'd to Turkey to play basketball at one of the lower leagues and within 4 months the parents are already enjoying him.

Most of them don't see themselves as Nigerians anymore or dream of coming back so the advice is not for them.

lilvicky68:
Apart from ghosting APC supporters, I dont think you need to ghost your friends when you relocate

You people subtle Blackmailing of APC supporters will not make OBI the president.
It can only work on fools.
Because,None of peter OBI children is residing in Anambra.

Anyone is free to support APC or the other groundnut buyers in the structure of criminality

Let people be.

If he no call you, no problems. If he calls you, answer and talk as old friends. Celebrate yourselves and move on.

He may think you want to ask him for help, but you should know only God and yourself are your helpers.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

So u mean there is no snail market abroad?
very strange

Relocation does not stop you from reaching out to friends.

You just don't want to.

It the same Nigeria mentality, I first you enter university, and you cut off your friends still looking for admission.

When you're in their shoes, you'll probably understand. Reality hit most people in the face, it's a new world abroad. Most people who leave Nigeria and went "Ghost Mode" didn't choose to go Ghost mode. I guess going ghost mode is also part of growing up. You literally can't keep in touch with everyone.

Nobody abroad is as free as u are in Nigeria. So they are always busy unlike u in Nigeria.
People dey hustle while u are here saying they ghost u. Anybody wey dey UK, Germany, Italy and USA and d person still get time to call or chat u, know that d person love u specially. Even him mama it will have a particular time to be calling.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

I have one that's calls from uptown, na me dey shun sometimes.. But sincerely, I appreciate him reaching out from that way.. E dey boost my ego!!

It doesn't take much time to reply a message , comment on a status or say hi sometimes. You ghosted your close friend intentionally for decades. You came back to Nigeria a big boy believing you will meet him in a poor situation whereby you will be able "show yourself", but unfortunately he had left for Germany as well doing well for himself. You tried to link up but he wouldn't respond, it's pay back time, whatever you sow, you must reap. Abegi, you So much deserve the treatment you got. Saying it shows it pains you so much too. Next time you will learn to value relationship and little things that matters like saying hi to your friends.

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

Don't worry, when they return, they would make new friends...... 😂 😉

ChizzyBuna:
You know I will speak for myself..

First off I didn't plan of travelling outside
IT happened so unexpected and threw me off a bit cuz I never planned to travel outside.

The Nigerian factor of not telling people you are traveling before ur traveling played a huge role.
My class mates had no single Idea.

I moved abroad. Once I got accomodation
I began to call home and inform people that in finally abroad
Many people found out via Facebook

Secondly, the life abroad compared to Nigeria is like Plaustion 1 vs Playstation 5
So you really don't have much to talk about because your life in Europe is far different from Naija life of people back home.

So naturally your brain is 98% invested in this new Society, the new environment, the law, it's tradition, the women , challenge or phase in life abroad comes in different forms.


There are challenges that every one meets when they travel abroad.
They are so invested in the system that they really have no time for themselves talkless of the people back home in Nigeria.

I had a best friend who I lost contact with because I was too invested in my challenges and new experience abroad.
He would try to reach out to me via my younger bro but we still didn't talk for years.

When I relocated back to Naija after couple months I tried to find him on Twitter I now saw that he is now in Germany.

I reached out to him, many times guess what?.
He did not respond till now
So I was like ahhhhaa he don do me back
G/G and over 2.5 settled.

I say no wahala, such is life

My conclusion is that those in Nigeria complaining that the abroad people are neglecting them.
Once these same Nigerians are Put in the same shoes as those abroad. They will even do far worse and neglect more than those they complained about. Peace out✌🏿

So you ghosted someone that he had to try via your brother to get you but you still shunned him. Now you came back, you expect that friendship that you destroyed to still be the same? Your long epistle doesn't change the fact that you were not a friend not to talk of a good one.
I wish to read the guy's story, it will come with a lot of moral lessons.

kingthreat:
So you ghosted someone that he had to try via your brother to get you but you still shunned him. Now you came back, you expect that friendship that you destroyed to still be the same? Your long epistle doesn't change the fact that you were not a friend not to talk of a good one.
I wish to read the guy's story, it will come with a lot of moral lessons.

We were secondary school best friends
It's not like we were blood brothers
You move into a new environment you make new friends things change
Trust me you all will do worse when you japa

If you don't expect anything from those that japaed, you won't be bothered by whatever mode they choose to activate.

If they see you as a leech or a pest, it's advisable that you delete them from your memory in order to maintain your sanity.

There are many family members and friends who are unmindful of the social ties that used to bond you and them before they travelled abroad.

They tend to downplay the essence of the communal living which used to prevail before they migrated abroad - a relationship that was not necessarily dictated on monetary terms.

Once abroad, any attempt at making a call to some of them is often misconstrued as an attempt at begging.

Learn to live your life on your own terms and not on theirs.

After all, every Mallam to his own kettle.




@hotseat

OverCalculating:
You didn't try at all. We know your type. Nothing stopped you from helping him if he was truly your bestie. What happend to "...Friends for Life!" You no be better person.

help wetin?
You think abroad is a bed of roses??
I was paying $300 a month for accomodations
That is 400k plus every bloody month
Not to talk of electricity bill, water bill
The only cheapest bill was internet bill.

Una need to japa make reality humble una

lilvicky68:
Apart from ghosting APC supporters, I dont think you need to ghost your friends when you relocate

Na this ghosting APC supporters make me laugh.

OverCalculating:
Hello Niralanders, as you chase your dreams abroad, don't forget the people and place that made you. Home is where the heart is, and it's the friends and family that make it truly special. Don't let comfort and distance make you forget where you came from. One day, you'll be old and ready to come back home, but if you've lost touch with loved ones, you'll be left with empty memories. Hold on to home, and the people who truly care about you 🌍.

Not when you want to kill them with bills

Besides, men always pick up from whenever n wherever they stopped. Na the other gender get that issue

I have a friend turned brother before he left Naija for UK in 2020. Till date he has never ghosted me for once, we speak minimum 5 hours a week. I can reach out to him anytime, Truth be told He calls me more. Before he left, he told me, bro I'll tell you the truth about abroad and he lived up to his word.
SO when I read about people ghosting their friends when they get abroad, I'm always like wetin dey worry these ones.

What if you find better friends and family abroad? Blood doesn't necessarily mean family, home doesn't necessarily mean where you were born.
Home and family is the love and care you get,and how good you feel inside.Anybody can be family, anywhere can be home.

Those who travel abroad and zone out want to it’s not the system or anything it’s just their character being magnified.

I have friends abroad one has been in Germany for approximately 10years, we speak daily in fact the time we stopped speaking briefly was cos of Trump election win, I was pro Trump he was indifferent and we had a little altercation, I was even the person who zoned out not him.

These days we don’t speak so often cos he is now in the US and the time difference is quite much but if I call him and he doesn’t answer, he calls back as soon as possible.

I have another friend in the UK, we speak daily too for hours even, the only reason our talk reduced somewhat was when his wife joined him over there, normally his focus would be on her.

Now I have another friend who I can call my best friend back then, when he was in Nigeria, you will struggle to get him on the phone but if he is in a fix, he can load 10k airtime and call you for 5 hours straight, when he japaed he didn’t call me for two years straight and now we barely even talk.

I’m not saying that it’s not hectic out there in the west, bills are a constant, your family both immediate and extended are always hovering, even friends and acquaintances but you can make out time for those whom you think genuinely care.

What if you find better friends and family abroad? Blood doesn't necessarily mean family, home doesn't necessarily mean where you were born.
Home and family is the love and care you get,and how good you feel inside.Anybody can be family, anywhere can be homwe.

OverCalculating:
Hello Niralanders, as you chase your dreams abroad, don't forget the people and place that made you. Home is where the heart is, and it's the friends and family that make it truly special. Don't let comfort and distance make you forget where you came from. One day, you'll be old and ready to come back home, but if you've lost touch with loved ones, you'll be left with empty memories. Hold on to home, and the people who truly care about you 🌍.

Ignorance. "Comfort and distance". It doesn't occure to you it could be unexpected hardship and being overwhelmed

Basic123:

You people subtle Blackmailing of APC supporters will not make OBI the president.
It can only work on fools.
Because,None of peter OBI children is residing in Anambra.

Anyone is free to support APC or the other groundnut buyers in the structure of criminality

Gbe enu buruku e soun. Did you people not do worst when you wanted to kick out Jonathan? Didnt you?

Called him all types of names. Stoned his convoy in the North,Buhari supporters even killed 800 people when he lost the 2011 elections including serving youth corp members. Did you not? I guess it was politics then right. Now you are crying over online banter

Hypocrites.