₦airaland Forum

Merry100:
Although I enjoy sharing experiences, there are certain limits to what I share about my family. I value the privacy of the people around me, and I don't believe giving too many personal details is necessary to make a broader point.

That said, I do know women who are higher in rank or status than their husbands. For example, I have an aunt in the force who outranks her husband; they even met through work. Situations like that exist more than people assume; they are just not always loud or stereotypical, especially when the relationship is healthy and balanced.

As for me, my choices are based on personality and compatibility, not status or age. I have dated men who were not at the same level as I was at the time. I have even supported a guy I was dating financially when he needed my assistance.

I have younger male friends and have dated younger men. It is just that I don't enter relationships casually so I avoid dating a lot. I tend to even maintain more friendships than relationships because I'm not good at breaking up. If I don't see genuine long-term potential, I prefer to keep things at the level of friendship rather than venture into dating.

I understand your point…

Maybe you don’t understand my question… I’m speaking in terms of numbers- data.. Data has no emotions and it deals with reality… and this isn’t even my theory but based on peer reviewed research. You can do your search…

I am sure you know what they call a normal distribution…
There would be few situations that will fall at two ends of the distribution but the normal distribution would always have majority falling in place with the data…

I am not disputing the fact that there are exceptions, but the majority will always carry the vote… and that’s my point…The more a woman rises and grow older, the fewer the chances she has with men and that’s why there are so many single women in their 30s unlike before.

Imagine if women only chase Undergraduates degree and stop there to focus on family, and if men earn higher than women, there would be much more successful dates leading to families and more married people.
I didn’t create the rule, I am only pointing out what’s the reality and my claim is not a theory but backed with data and peer reviewed research

Check below :

https://ourworldindata.org/global-decline-fertility-rate



https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/brown-manning-nonmarriage-college-educated-adults-2005-2019-fp-22-02.html

@Merry100
More data to prove my point, like I said, it’s not about emotions but reality

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/01/03/globally-women-are-younger-than-their-male-partners-more-likely-to-age-alone/

I don't really see what the issue is here. So far women are being empowered and not taught how the value the power brings should functions. It's entirely up to them to decide.

Women gaining much higher employability skills and filling roles men used to handle is a welcome development. Now let them function and carry the responsibilities men used to shoulder.

Perhaps there would be a balance ♎
If there appears to be a social deficiency in martial union, society will still correct itself.
Everybody will have to reevaluate their standards.

Men looking 4 much younger females under 24
Women looking for tall handsome rich men
It's all standards

CHIEFCHICKEN:
I don't really see what the issue is here. So far women are being empowered and not taught how the value the power brings should functions. It's entirely up to them to decide.

Women gaining much higher employability skills and filling roles men used to handle is a welcome development. Now let them function and carry the responsibilities men used to shoulder.

Perhaps there would be a balance

I’m only pointing out the data and reason why this is happening…. Not classifying it as an issue, but the truth could be bitter.
Every thing has its advantages and drawbacks, as the society tries to correct one thing, it’s causing an imbalance in the other side…
It won’t be an issue if only everyone is okay being single and the society normalizes people staying unmarried…unfortunately, there are a whole lot of the so called independent women weeping every night and going for therapy.
Hallelujah challenge will soon start and we see them dressing like their miracles…
The church keeps exploding with single ladies looking for that successful God fearing single man ..
On social media and paper, we see people celebrating singleness and being independent , but reality is different, biology no be anybody mate!

Omoawoke:
This is sweet to say that young men prefer older women..

But face reality, this is not Bollywood , how many women have you ever seen marry downwards?

lol, are you dating a younger man you are richer than?

Don’t complicate things, how many of your friends or sisters or female cousins go to date a younger man that is even below them in education and career ? Tell me!

A man can complete his PhD and go and marry a girl doing nysc
Can you finish your PhD as a woman and go marry a man doing nysc?

You are being realistic and practical, while those that quoted you are being poetic and theoretical too.


But one thing I have come to realize is that when we log off from our internet, we face the reality of life.

Omoawoke:
I understand your point…

Maybe you don’t understand my question… I’m speaking in terms of numbers- data.. Data has no emotions and it deals with reality… and this isn’t even my theory but based on peer reviewed research. You can do your search…

I am sure you know what they call a normal distribution…
There would be few situations that will fall at two ends of the distribution but the normal distribution would always have majority falling in place with the data…

I am not disputing the fact that there are exceptions, but the majority will always carry the vote… and that’s my point…The more a woman rises and grow older, the fewer the chances she has with men and that’s why there are so many single women in their 30s unlike before.

Imagine if women only chase Undergraduates degree and stop there to focus on family, and if men earn higher than women, there would be much more successful dates leading to families and more married people.
I didn’t create the rule, I am only pointing out what’s the reality and my claim is not a theory but backed with data and peer reviewed research

Check below :

https://ourworldindata.org/global-decline-fertility-rate



https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/brown-manning-nonmarriage-college-educated-adults-2005-2019-fp-22-02.html

Social and cultural norms influenced marriage age patterns. Historically, men were expected to be older than their wives due to financial stability and inheritance norms, which reinforced the trend of men marrying younger women.

Many stereotypes about fertility and older wives are rooted in ignorance and outdated beliefs, rather than biological necessity. Recent research shows that fertility is a shared issue, with age affecting both men and women. Even a healthy 20 year old woman could face challenges if her husband is 40 or older, because male age can impact sperm quality and pregnancy outcomes.

In modern, urban, highly educated, and egalitarian societies, the age gap in marriage has shrunk and continues to shrink. For example, in Sweden and Norway, up to 20% of marriages feature wives older than their husbands.

Globally, about 60-75% of marriages have the husband older, 10–20% are about the same age, and 15-25% have the wife older.

In high-income Western countries, husband older marriages are 55-65%, with wife older marriages around 20-30%.

In regions like South Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa, husband-older marriages are more common (75-90%), while wife older marriages are usually under 10-15%.

Men marrying women older than them is far from rare especially in enlightened environments.

Merry100:
Social and cultural norms influenced marriage age patterns. Historically, men were expected to be older than their wives due to financial stability and inheritance norms, which reinforced the trend of men marrying younger women.

Many stereotypes about fertility and older wives are rooted in ignorance and outdated beliefs, rather than biological necessity. Recent research shows that fertility is a shared issue, with age affecting both men and women. Even a healthy 20 year old woman could face challenges if her husband is 40 or older, because male age can impact sperm quality and pregnancy outcomes.

In modern, urban, highly educated, and egalitarian societies, the age gap in marriage has shrunk and continues to shrink. For example, in Sweden and Norway, up to 20% of marriages feature wives older than their husbands.

Globally, about 60-75% of marriages have the husband older, 10–20% are about the same age, and 15-25% have the wife older.

In high-income Western countries, husband older marriages are 55-65%, with wife older marriages around 20-30%.

In regions like South Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa, husband-older marriages are more common (75-90%), while wife older marriages are usually under 10-15%.

Men marrying women older than them is far from rare especially in enlightened environments.

Regarding your recent research

Let’s be realistic and stick to biology, not emotions.

A man at 60 or even 70 can still father a child. It has happened many times. But a woman at 60 or 70 cannot naturally give birth. Once menopause happens, that door is permanently closed.

The reason is simple. Women are born with fixed eggs that decline sharply and eventually finish. Men produce new sperm throughout life. Sperm quality may reduce gradually, but it does not suddenly stop like female fertility.

So yes, male age affects fertility, but it is gradual and not an absolute biological shutdown. Female fertility decline is sharp, irreversible, and final.

This is why female age is the number one predictor of fertility in medicine worldwide.

This is not opinion. This is biology.

Omoawoke:
Regarding your recent research

Let’s be realistic and stick to biology, not emotions.

A man at 60 or even 70 can still father a child. It has happened many times. But a woman at 60 or 70 cannot naturally give birth. Once menopause happens, that door is permanently closed.

The reason is simple. Women are born with fixed eggs that decline sharply and eventually finish. Men produce new sperm throughout life. Sperm quality may reduce gradually, but it does not suddenly stop like female fertility.

So yes, male age affects fertility, but it is gradual and not an absolute biological shutdown. Female fertility decline is sharp, irreversible, and final.

This is why female age is the number one predictor of fertility in medicine worldwide.

This is not opinion. This is biology.

This is biology, not opinion. These findings come from multiple studies showing that fertility is a shared issue. Fertility is not just about producing babies; it is about producing healthy babies.

Older fathers are one of the biological factors that increase the risk of children being born with significant genetic or developmental challenges that affect their lives. Older men in their 60s or 70s, often have weaker sperm, which increases the risk of miscarriage, genetic abnormalities, and conditions such as autism, schizophrenia, and other congenital disorders.

In the past, women were unfairly blamed for fertility complications, but recent research makes it clear that sperm quality is a major factor. Male age significantly affects pregnancy outcomes and child health, just as female age does.

Women:
30-34: ~10-15% decline in fertility potential
Men:

35–39: ~10-15% reduction in sperm quality

Men and women in their 30s are generally very fit to have healthy pregnancies. Only a small percentage experience fertility-related complications, and healthy pregnancies are very common.

Merry100:
This is biology, not opinion. These findings come from multiple studies showing that fertility is a shared issue. Fertility is not just about producing babies; it is about producing healthy babies.

Older fathers are one of the biological factors that increase the risk of children being born with significant genetic or developmental challenges that affect their lives. Older men in their 60s or 70s, often have weaker sperm, which increases the risk of miscarriage, genetic abnormalities, and conditions such as autism, schizophrenia, and other congenital disorders.

In the past, women were unfairly blamed for fertility complications, but recent research makes it clear that sperm quality is a major factor. Male age significantly affects pregnancy outcomes and child health, just as female age does.

Women:
30-34: ~10-15% decline in fertility potential
Men:

35–39: ~10-15% reduction in sperm quality

Men and women in their 30s are generally very fit to have healthy pregnancies. Only a small percentage experience fertility-related complications, and healthy pregnancies are very common.

First I appreciate your mature and intelligent engagement on this, you have been calm and addressing the issues…

You’re right that male age affects sperm quality and can increase certain risks. No serious person will deny that. But the biological difference is that sperm production continues throughout a man’s life, while egg supply is fixed and eventually ends permanently at menopause.

Like I said, a man at 60 or even 70 can still reproduce naturally. But a woman at that same age cannot, regardless of health. Sperm quality may reduce gradually, but female fertility has a biological endpoint that male fertility does not. And this is why female age remains the most importtant predictor of natural fertility outcomes in reproductive medicine.

I believe acknowledging both realities gives the most honest and complete picture.

Omoawoke:
First I appreciate your mature and intelligent engagement on this, you have been calm and addressing the issues…

You’re right that male age affects sperm quality and can increase certain risks. No serious person will deny that. But the biological difference is that sperm production continues throughout a man’s life, while egg supply is fixed and eventually ends permanently at menopause.

Like I said, a man at 60 or even 70 can still reproduce naturally. But a woman at that same age cannot, regardless of health. Sperm quality may reduce gradually, but female fertility has a biological endpoint that male fertility does not. And this is why female age remains the most importtant predictor of natural fertility outcomes in reproductive medicine.

I believe acknowledging both realities gives the most honest and complete picture.

You have laid out the biological differences very clearly.

Women don't have to wait until menopause to make reproductive decisions; options like egg freezing are available. Menopause usually even occurs around 50, and many women marry before then.

Merry100:
You have laid out the biological differences very clearly.

Women don't have to wait until menopause to make reproductive decisions; options like egg freezing are available. Menopause usually even occurs around 50, and many women marry before then.

On another note, since the world needs more babies now since birth rate is declining
See this Chinese man ready to start paying PhD students 7k dollars for every baby they make

What do you think? If they start paying educated women for having babies, maybe people would get married faster and make more babies


https://www.johnathanbi.com/p/the-chinese-billionaire-paying-people-427

Merry100:
You are not a woman, so why do you think you are in the best position to explain what we want?
Age doesn't determine respect; maturity does.
Being successful gives women even more options. Some women prefer younger men, some others prefer men at the peak of their success. There are also women who actively support their partners in achieving success.
What you need to understand is that when a man and a woman start dating, even if the woman is older, the age factor tends to fade. Over time, they rarely even notice the age gap.

Men, whether younger or older, have some level of ego, a healthy ego is normal. Many men who marry older women; especially those who are not more than seven years older; are very mature. They rarely tolerate or permit disrespect.

You are not being honest about the bold, and that is one big problem I have with people who share your ideology. Across the world, cutting across cultures, races and religions, women have shown a persistent stance for hypergamy where they gravitate towards men who are higher in status than they are. Women are naturally hypergamous.

Women who earn well and even drive better cars have come out to clearly state that they have fewer men approaching them. This is not just in Nigeria, but also in developed countries. That is, when they had nothing, men approached them, but as their earnings increased, the men dwindled. So, why lie?

A twenty-four year old man can date a thirty year old woman without any issues.

The question is: how many 30 year old women are open to marrying, not dating, a 24 year old lad? How many 24 year old lads who are financially independent are willing to marry a 30 year old woman? How many family members of the average 24 year old lad who is financially stable are willing to approve him to marry a 30 year old woman? I emphasise financial stability because, due to poverty, men who haven't achieved much in life are open to marrying older women. But how many older women are even interested in such men as first choice?

people are having less children? that is good

the planet is overcrowded with individuals who are mostly not very bright or useful. less reproduction means fewer new problems.


the truth here is that you’re all meat-sacks driven by hormones you don't understand, trapped in a society built poorly weeping about the results.

Kobojunkie:
Again, A woman is at her prime at 23 to 27, according to whom? Your mama abi na your papa?

Even imbe-iles know not to spew such nonsense in the open in the year 2026. Kai! 🥱🥱

According to basic biology, those are some of the best years to have children. This topic has been talked about for too long, and OP is correct. If women desire to have children, it is better to have them early. Yes, there are scientific techniques such as IVF and egg freezing, but they are very expensive for women, even in wealthier countries. IVF is subsidised in Singapore and even comes with age caps. Egg freezing, on the other hand, is not subsidised, and it costs a minimum of S$10K per cycle. Most people in the developed world don't have the equivalent of $10K lying fallow somewhere.

Gerrard59:
➜According to basic biology, those are some of the best years to have children.
➜ This topic has been talked about for too long, and OP is correct. If women desire to have children, it is better to have them early.

According to what basic biology? I want to know what your source really is here, since I don't know of any basic biology telling women to have children before they are financially stable enough to care for their brood. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Why is this best of a woman about her having children before she has succeeded enough to be best able to take care of the children she intends to have (if at all)? 🥱🥱🥱

Omoawoke:
This is sweet to say that young men prefer older women..
Don’t complicate things, how many of your friends or sisters or female cousins go to date a younger man that is even below them in education and career ? Tell me!
A man can complete his PhD and go and marry a girl doing nysc
Can you finish your PhD as a woman and go marry a man doing nysc?

It is the dishonesty that pisses me off! I know many ladies who pursue their PhDs or have them, and for the majority, they are single. For the married ones, they married before they commenced their PhD programs. As I write, one plans to marry before she commences hers because, from her observation, single women who started their PhDs remained single even after they completed their degrees. Again, it is not that it is impossible for these women not to get married, but women being who they are aspire to marry much wealthier men, more educated men and generally, men who are higher than or at least equal to them.

These men are fewer, and they have more options because there are many younger women who are available and willing to mate with them. Also, as I have recently read, genetic abnormalities are significantly reduced when older men have children with younger women than with older women.

This is basic biology and basic economics to an extent. Why and how people refuse to acknowledge it befuddles me.

Fiscus105:
Not until you guys realise, the biggest reason there are so many single ladies at 30s, is because many of you are not "man enough" to take responsibility of being husband and father.

Taking on responsibility is mostly tied to financial capability. When there are fewer jobs to go around for most men to enable them take on those responsibilities, the share of such men will consistently dwindle.

Check around you, you will see many of you in your 35-45 who yet to know the year they will get marry, if you, and others in that category are bold enough to get married, just imagine, the number of ladies they will take out from singleness.

There are more marriageable women than marriageable men.

If woman gets more education and more income back home, I think it's a plus for intending husband, rather than be a disadvantages to such ladies.

Sorry, but this is laughable and clearly false. If it were true, marriage and birth rates in the developed world would have swelled, but rather they are nose-diving. It is extremely low in Chile, Singapore and South Korea, where the Total Fertility Rate is below 1, whereas 2.1 is regarded as the minimum to stabilise and grow the population. Marriage and birth rates are actually higher in societies where the women DON'T work or earn as much as the men. Chile, Singapore and South Korea are wealthy societies where the women are highly educated and earn very well.

In the Nordic countries, which are generally seen as gender equal (in Westernised parlance), the birth rate has plunged, ditto that of marriage rates, which have plummeted. Women there earn as much as men, have so many maternal benefits, yet they aspire to marry men who are well-off. In Canada, 89% of women aged 20-29 are childless (94% if they are University graduates). Half of Canadian women who are 30 - 39 are childless, and these women are employed. In the US, it is even worse for the African American community, where more than half of the women are unmarried, and these are educated and employed women.

So, the claim that higher education and earnings of women lead to higher marriage and birth rates is clearly untrue. It is actually the opposite.

From time immemorial woman would do small shakara or being selective, yet they still ended in husband house, but since man refused to be man again, they instead shifting entire blame on female gender.

Well, the immemorial has ended as there are many women who are unmarried and childless. In fact, many are opting to be child-free and resorting to surrogacy. It is interesting how you blame men even when women now earn higher, yet have maintained their hypergamy. If marriage and fertility rates are to rise, educated and well-off women would have to marry less educated and "poorer" men in large numbers. However, I don't see this happening as hypergamy is ingrained in every woman regardless of race, culture or religious belief.

Omoawoke:
On another note, since the world needs more babies now since birth rate is declining
See this Chinese man ready to start paying PhD students 7k dollars for every baby they make

What do you think? If they start paying educated women for having babies, maybe people would get married faster and make more babies
https://www.johnathanbi.com/p/the-chinese-billionaire-paying-people-427

It won't work as it has been tried elsewhere and failed woefully. It failed in Singapore and South Korea; thus, it will fail in China due to similar cultures. It has been tried in France and worked to an extent, but the birth rates nosedived again. It has been tried in Hungary, and as expected, it failed. Paying women, especially educated women, to have children has been a global failure. Educated women are simply uninterested in having too many children. That is what people have to understand.

Kobojunkie:
According to what basic biology? I want to know what your source really is here, since I don't know of any basic biology telling women to have children before they are financially stable enough to care for their brood. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Why is this best of a woman about her having children before she has succeeded enough to be best able to take care of the children she intends to have (if at all)? 🥱🥱🥱

https://www.britishfertilitysociety.org.uk/fei/at-what-age-does-fertility-begin-to-decrease/

The graph shows that on average there is a decline in female fertility starting in the mid-thirties, with lower fertility especially after the age of 35. Women’s fertility will continue to decrease every year, whether or not she is healthy and fit because the number and quality of the eggs decreases with age. Even if a woman is not ovulating (for example if she is taking the contraceptive pill, or is pregnant), the number of eggs continues to decline at the same rate. How quickly a woman’s fertility declines will depend on a combination of genetic and lifestyle (e.g. smoking) factors.

For men:

Men are not born with their sperm and continue to produce sperm daily. Men’s fertility also starts to decline around age 40 to 45 years. The decrease in fertility is caused by the decrease in the number and quality of the sperm they produce. Men can have fertility problems even if they can still have sex and have an ejaculation.

Gerrard59:
https://www.britishfertilitysociety.org.uk/fei/at-what-age-does-fertility-begin-to-decrease/
The graph shows that on average there is a decline in female fertility starting in the mid-thirties, with lower fertility especially after the age of 35. Women’s fertility will continue to decrease every year, whether or not she is healthy and fit because the number and quality of the eggs decreases with age. Even if a woman is not ovulating (for example if she is taking the contraceptive pill, or is pregnant), the number of eggs continues to decline at the same rate. How quickly a woman’s fertility declines will depend on a combination of genetic and lifestyle (e.g. smoking) factors.

Clearly, the information you posted DOES NOT provide back up for your earlier basic biology claim. 🥱

So, what now? Should women aim to have kids in their teens and early 20s without the financial resources necessary to feed and train said kids, while at the same time ensuring they do not end up burdens on and to those children? Or are the Womb-watchers Boys(not men)Association not done with monitoring women and taking it on themselves to determine when women can or cannot have children? 🥱🥱

In summary, the marriage rate in many countries, including our beloved one, will continue to fall, gradually or dangerously. Already, southern Nigeria has a lower fertility rate than its northern counterpart (see below). If marriage rates are to climb consistently, men have to be encouraged or even have quotas for above-average-paying jobs. So far, the belief that higher earnings and degrees for women lead to marriage rates, let alone higher fertility rates, is clearly false. When men earn higher, the marriage rates soar, and it is the opposite when there is gender pay parity. I have thought about a bit of Sharia as a possible solution, but marriage rates and most especially fertility rates in wealthier Muslim countries have fallen sharply. Where the rates of marriage have remained consistently high are in poorer Islamic countries such as Ndi Niger Republic, Ndi Sierra Leone and Ndi Mauritania.

See here: https://www.economist.com/middle-east-and-africa/2024/11/07/why-the-fertility-gap-between-north-and-south-nigeria-matters

As I wrote above, paying women to birth children does not work. From observation, many educated and high-earning women who wish to have their own children aim at most two, and this is to fulfil both biological desires and societal needs. The very fact that women now earn their own money and can intentionally control the number of children they want, aka contraceptives, means the fertility rate will continue to fall. So, policymakers and those worried about the entire issue should focus on ensuring the marriage rates shoot up steadily, as higher marriage rates lead to higher fertility rates. Additionally, children born and raised in two-parent households have better outcomes than those raised in single-parent households, especially single-mother households. In Japan, the poverty rate in such households is higher than the national average. So, marriage has to be encouraged and supported rather than just birthing.

"Men are putting off marriage because of easier access to sex", alluded to by a Nairalander. Even though I am sexually liberal, I believe this is largely true. However, postponing marriage at a younger age in a bid to fend off premarital sex goes against basic biological hormones. So, if we are to encourage people to marry and have children or prevent premarital sex, they should marry early enough. Waiting until their thirties is increasingly unrealistic for many people.

Merry100:
Guy, speaking from my own personal experience I totally disagree with you. Age has never been a barrier for me. The "age factor" is just one of those internet myths and lies. I get approached a lot by younger guys.

In fact, recently, a 25 year old boyfriend of someone I know (she is 24) has been persistently persisting me. He even broke up his relationship with her. And even after I explained to him that "ladies' code" doesn't permit such, he came to my shop and dropped £200 because I refused to give him my account number.

A lot of guys don't care about age Once they like a lady, they will use every means to pursue her.

That you get approached by younger guys doesn't mean they want to settle with you. It's the thrill of dominating a more experienced and advanced partner. And maybe you're pretty/sexy too so that adds to fuel the fantasies. Madam na hard knack dem want knack you no go dey reason am too much. When it comes to that I think the older the better sef for some but when it's to settle and build with, walk the walk with, grow with and raise a family don't flatter yourself, a lot of guys do care about age

Gerrard59:
It is the dishonesty that pisses me off! I know many ladies who pursue their PhDs or have them, and for the majority, they are single. For the married ones, they married before they commenced their PhD programs. As I write, one plans to marry before she commences hers because, from her observation, single women who started their PhDs remained single even after they completed their degrees. Again, it is not that it is impossible for these women not to get married, but women being who they are aspire to marry much wealthier men, more educated men and generally, men who are higher than or at least equal to them.

These men are fewer, and they have more options because there are many younger women who are available and willing to mate with them. Also, as I have recently read, genetic abnormalities are significantly reduced when older men have children with younger women than with older women.

This is basic biology and basic economics to an extent. Why and how people refuse to acknowledge it befuddles me.

I am not bothered that you are pissed off but I just need to speak some sense into you. Mr man, come here. Who exactly is being dishonest? So we are all supposed to live in your imagination? We all have to live in your world?

You think those PhD ladies you know represent every single woman?

I am a woman, and personally, I am skeptical about marriage; but I am even more skeptical about dating up. I prefer to even build with a man.

If you did some personal research on me, especially at this moment, and saw the kind of people I am surrounded by, you would be confused. You wouldn't understand how or why I am not married. Even my guy has been telling people to talk to me so we can just get things done. I'm even reserved about saying certain things so it doesn't come across as pride or bragging, and I have also discovered that the online world is actually Spiritual, so one as to be careful about putting things out.

Seventy-five percent of what circulates online is mere hearsay, particularly from Nigeria.

kiddaz:
That you get approached by younger guys doesn't mean they want to settle with you. It's the thrill of dominating a more experienced and advanced partner. And maybe you're pretty/sexy too so that adds to fuel the fantasies. Madam na hard knack dem want knack you no go dey reason am too much. When it comes to that I think the older the better sef for some but when it's to settle and build with, walk the walk with, grow with and raise a family don't flatter yourself, a lot of guys do care about age

The last time I checked, those ones close to me know I don't believe in sex while dating.

Gerrard59:
You are not being honest about the bold, and that is one big problem I have with people who share your ideology. Across the world, cutting across cultures, races and religions, women have shown a persistent stance for hypergamy where they gravitate towards men who are higher in status than they are. Women are naturally hypergamous.

Women who earn well and even drive better cars have come out to clearly state that they have fewer men approaching them. This is not just in Nigeria, but also in developed countries. That is, when they had nothing, men approached them, but as their earnings increased, the men dwindled. So, why lie?


The question is: how many 30 year old women are open to marrying, not dating, a 24 year old lad? How many 24 year old lads who are financially independent are willing to marry a 30 year old woman? How many family members of the average 24 year old lad who is financially stable are willing to approve him to marry a 30 year old woman? I emphasise financial stability because, due to poverty, men who haven't achieved much in life are open to marrying older women. But how many older women are even interested in such men as first choice?

You seem exceptionally good at selective observation. Claiming that women are "naturally hypergamous" because some prefer men with a higher status is not science; it is just cherry-picked evolutionary psychology misapplied as a universal law.

What about studies showing that men feel intimidated by high-earning women, why are you not sharing those. Couldn't that be viewed as proof of men being insecure and having fragile egos? Should we also judge men based on them and say all men are insecure about successful women, even though these studies are context-specific?

As societies become more equal, the so-called hypergamy gap shrinks. In countries with higher gender equality, marriage patterns are more flexible. Not all women prioritize status; many value personality, shared goals, emotional support, and compatibility equally or more. High-earning women often have plenty of potential partners; contrary to your anecdote about men only approaching women "when they had nothing."

Marriage and dating preferences are not absolutes. Some younger men seek older women; some older women prefer younger men. Family approval reflects social norms, not immutable truths.

To ignore this is to confuse social conditioning with biology; and to display profound ignorance in the process.

Again, "success" or wealth is not the reason why any of these men married these women.

Most of them worked in close quarters and fell in love. Zuckerberg met Priscilla in school not when she was successful anything.

Both Brad Pitt and Angelina were successful, but he wouldn't dare her until they acted a romantic movie together. Again, working in close quarters.

Michelle was Obama's senior in office and he was assigned to her as a mentee.

Same with Bill and Melinda. These guys mostly worked in close quarters. None of these men married because any of their partners because of the success they achieved.

If you read just beyond the headline and see how this people met their partners and what the men saw in their women, you'll not find an iota of "success" in their narrative.

But keep piling up snows thinking you're making points.

Also, look at your environment. Everyday, rich men are getting married to broke girls even while constantly complaining about girls being broke.

But as soon as they make money, the run to their jobless girlfriends and get married to them.

If success is a consideration for men like most women, most women won't be married today.

No man cares about a woman's money when it comes to romantic relationship. Not a single man in this world.

Once a man makes money, that's all he needs to get married. In fact, the real reason a man works to become successful is primarily so that his wife doesn't work.

Look at your Achalugo and odogwu movies. How many times does the man ask the girl to leave her successful business?

Check all movies in such genres, you'll find this same patten in them where the successful man doesn't want his wife to work.

In fact, you as a woman having money disqualifies you for most men because any hardworking man with self respect wants to be the "man" of the home he's building.

He wants to buy the house you move in, he wants to buy you things and for his children. He wants to lead the home.

Forget this "team" and "partner" nōnsense. Every man desires to lead his family.

Merry100:
Normally, humans with both male and female reproductive traits are not called hermaphrodites; I specifically used that inappropriate term for you. The correct term is intersex, and biologically, men or women can be intersex.

Can you explain this?
Michelle Obama was a Harvard educated lawyer and professional before marrying Barack Obama.

Melinda Gates was a Microsoft executive and philanthropist before marrying Bill Gates.

Priscilla Chan was a pediatrician and medical researcher before marrying Mark Zuckerberg.

Grimes was an acclaimed musician and producer before she dated Elon Musk.

Serena Williams was a tennis legend with multiple Grand Slam titles before marrying Alexis Ohanian.

Angelina Jolie was an Academy Award-winning actress and humanitarian before marrying Brad Pitt.

Gwyneth Paltrow was an Oscar-winning actress before marrying Chris Martin.

Victoria Beckham was a Spice Girl, successful fashion designer, and entrepreneur before marrying David Beckham.

Priyanka Chopra was a Bollywood and Hollywood superstar before marrying Nick Jonas.

Salma Hayek was an Academy Award-nominated actress and producer before marrying François-Henri Pinault.

Amal Clooney was a top international human rights lawyer before marrying George Clooney.

😂🤣🤣

No. If a woman gets higher income, she goes for a man with a much more higher income.

There's just no plus to a woman making money.

Fiscus105:
Not until you guys realise, the biggest reason there are so many single ladies at 30s, is because many of you are not "man enough" to take responsibility of being husband and father.

Check around you, you will see many of you in your 35-45 who yet to know the year they will get marry, if you, and others in that category are bold enough to get married, just imagine, the number of ladies they will take out from singleness.

If woman gets more education and more income back home, I think it's a plus for intending husband, rather than be a disadvantages to such ladies.

From time immemorial woman would do small shakara or being selective, yet they still ended in husband house, but since man refused to be man again, they instead shifting entire blame on female gender.

Merry100:
Social and cultural norms influenced marriage age patterns. Historically, men were expected to be older than their wives due to financial stability and inheritance norms, which reinforced the trend of men marrying younger women.

Many stereotypes about fertility and older wives are rooted in ignorance and outdated beliefs, rather than biological necessity. Recent research shows that fertility is a shared issue, with age affecting both men and women. Even a healthy 20 year old woman could face challenges if her husband is 40 or older, because male age can impact sperm quality and pregnancy outcomes.

In modern, urban, highly educated, and egalitarian societies, the age gap in marriage has shrunk and continues to shrink. For example, in Sweden and Norway, up to 20% of marriages feature wives older than their husbands.

Globally, about 60-75% of marriages have the husband older, 10–20% are about the same age, and 15-25% have the wife older.

In high-income Western countries, husband older marriages are 55-65%, with wife older marriages around 20-30%.

In regions like South Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa, husband-older marriages are more common (75-90%), while wife older marriages are usually under 10-15%.

Men marrying women older than them is far from rare especially in enlightened environments.

Stop spreading falsehood here just to make yourself feel better. Old age has little to no effects on a man's fertility! A man should have reached the age of 70 and above before the supposed effects of age on sperm manifests and this effect does not even stop him from impregnating a fertile woman!

This is different from women whose fertility starts declining as early as 30yo in some cases.

At a time we are trying to discourage men from birthing too much children, this fallacy you feminists are spreading will only end up encouraging men to continue birthing even at old age in order to prove virility and this would definitely have negative effects on population!

Host78:
No. If a woman gets higher income, she goes for a man with a much more higher income.

There's just no plus to a woman making money.

And if man gets good job, won't he be selective as well, go for beautiful and work class like him?

Abi, wen u want to marry, it's the least on the list you will be looking for as a wife?

A man will go for beautiful.

Working class? It's except that man is in doubt of his ability to cater to the family alone.

If you put a very beautiful model who is jobless and an average working class woman, 90% of men would pick the pretty face with all things being equal.

Men would only consider a lady's job if he's convinced he can't take care of the new family alone.

Fiscus105:
And if man gets good job, won't he be selective as well, go for beautiful and work class like him?

Abi, wen u want to marry, it's the least on the list you will be looking for as a wife?

Host78:
A man will go for beautiful.

Working class? It's except that man is in doubt of his ability to cater to the family alone.

If you put a very beautiful model who is jobless and an average working class woman, 90% of men would pick the pretty face with all things being equal.

Men would only consider a lady's job if he's convinced he can't take care of the new family alone.

If man is selective, why woman has now become issue, if woman selective?


Meanwhile, how many men will go for jobless girl, no Matter how far is salary is?

You people should stop attacking woman, because they choose better man, it's common sense and rational for people to go for better option