₦airaland Forum

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Just like me, you never really tired.
If you're really really tired, you will stop providing for her. In that case, your kids will suffer too and you will push to start finding alternatives. The best alternatives out there is to start following men. But even if she goes outside, it is still her lost.
The choice is yours.

Emdi1914:
@op...,See, whether your wife contributes a dim or not,it is really not her business.
You are the man.Even if your wife earns more than you do,her money is her money,you are still to care for your household even without her contributing a dim.

Nna eh! Shey una dey even calm down read wetin una write or talk at all

Dear OP @Stephen0mozzy and @kobojunkie have said it the way it is, and I believe you know that. Bro, double your hussle and give as much as you can to that woman and the kid to stay fine. What you have their is an housewife, some may call such full housewife. It's luxurious and good if you can maintain such. She cooks, clean, takes good care of the home and the children. That's her job, and it's yours to go out and get the money. Settle with this and there will be lasting peace in that home.

But here where I reside thats how all wives are so I dont see anything wrong in that

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

bestman09:
Cool down. It's not always as it seems. Over 25 years married now

This are red flank telling him to cool down we make matters worse
If she can't support make all man dey take care of der self
When women to contribute to d family growth it always easy for them to complain abt everything
My advice is make d guy forcus on him self
Don't come kill yourself for another man child failure
Forcus on yur children and yur self shekina

Dearlord:
This is my greatest fear, not like I am not ready for marriage or feed a lady for her life time but I have not seen yet that will just be able to add Maggi cube to our soup.
For me that little cube she can add in our soup worth something big to me.

Honestly you're like me, I value even #100 that a female partner gives me, it shows she can do more if she have. But some are just damn right lazy and stingy

Kalulu44:
Nna eh! Shey una dey even calm down read wetin una write or talk at all

My guy, marriage no be beans.Before any guy-man enter marriage,him must prepare Wella.
To be a MAN is not a day's job

ZombieDredd:
Honestly if not for the children I would have supported this one.

Just walk away and observe from far, but she fit begin sell property for house oo

She go sell she go tire

Na this thread you go see Nairaland in house Nostra Damus dotting all the imaginary Is and crossing the Ts, wonderful set of being.

It's like some thread are created as a source of unending orgazms to them.


As for the husband, there's a problem, a big problem at that and with the way you chapter the matters ehnnnn, you fit wake up one day decide say enough is enough make you pack your slippers tuama!

McLizbae:
➜Dear OP @...and @... have said it the way it is, and I believe you know that. Bro, double your hussle and give as much as you can to that woman and the kid to stay fine. What you have their is an housewife, some may call such full housewife. It's luxurious and good if you can maintain such. She cooks, clean, takes good care of the home and the children. That's her job, and it's yours to go out and get the money. Settle with this and there will be lasting peace in that home.

I am not asking him to settle with the situation as is. I am making him see that the woman is not the problem, from what he described.🥱🥱

If OP decides that he is better off divorcing the woman and raising his kids by himself, that too is an option. He will have to navigate the consequences of that as he goes. 🥱🥱

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

in The US the man will leave the home for the woman with no warning and she will automatically be forced to step up and take responsibility.

I'm not lazy so I can't stand a lazy or idle woman who enjoys doing nothing and constantly in redundancy mode. I don't believe in a housewife mentality.

But back to the issue, since we are not in the US but in Nigeria I suggest u leave for a week and leave her to fend for the home... by the time u come back she should have a paradigm shit. Lol

Where do you people find all these liabilities to marry?


Was it an arranged marriage? While dating, you are expected to know the kind of person you are with, so it is up to you to decide whether the person is suitable for marriage or not.


Personally, I didn’t want my wife to do anything until our first child turned 10 years old, but she didn’t agree. She is the industrious type and hates being idle.

I provided everything she needed, yet she kept pleading with me to set up a business for her, I had no choice but to do it. She doesn’t have time for friends or social media, the only thing that really matters to her is her business.

This is exactly the reason a lot of men choose to stay single.

Some women are nothing more than excess baggage.

Tomorrow now they will complain how men choose to come chop, clean mouth dey go.

No commitments.

I

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

My advice for u is...

Try dey enjoy life...


Am 100% sure your children are seeing you now as a man that doesn't care about them, you are not always around

And they love their mother because she is always around... Take care of yourself and eat well

Secondary stop trying to make her start a business..

If u hv money and time starts a business, put some one their and make her the one monitoring the person... Like the madam (woman like that madam thing)... But all money come to u... U pay her salary, them u still hv small profit for other things...

Then u start transferring the responsibility to her...
She start being the one going to market to restock, she starts meeting with client.

With time she will get use to doing business...


The truth is most women don't no what it is to hustle, they think making money is easy...

Build he gradually

Emdi1914:
My guy, marriage no be beans.Before any guy-man enter marriage,him must prepare Wella.
To be a MAN is not a day's job

Prepared wella no be to kill myself for another person wey no go waste time find another man

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

U married a lazy woman... She saw you as dunce to leeche on. How do you guys make this mistake. During courtship what was she doing ? ( Please don't say nothing, I can slap U).

Back to my cool self, threaten to lev if she doesn't get something to do. She should go and teach in a nur sch.

Sorry, man, but it can be really depressing when you’re giving your all working non stop while your supposed wife is at home all day doing nothing productive: jumping from WhatsApp statuses to TikTok. It breeds resentment. One person is always exhausted from endless responsibilities, while the other is spending days watching Korean dramas.

She needs to get a job ,set a firm deadline. How old are the kids? Taking care of children is a full-time job, so make arrangements for daycare. And when she starts working, don’t expect her to handle all the house chores, cooking, and childcare alone too.

Finding a wife who is a real partner, someone you can work with as a team to push the family forward together, is like finding snow in Kaduna.

The real question is: why would a man stay married if he’s actually better off alone? Marriage is not supposed to shorten your life and bury you in responsibilities. No wonder there are more widows than widowers in the country most k**ed their husbands with responsibilities no empathy, or consideration whatsoever!

If she decides not to get a job within your timeframe, then she doesn’t give a damn about you!! Pele

Bro, it’s usually very difficult for wives to start up something and keep it going during child birth . In about 3 years which is 36 months she has been pregnant for 18months , she has atleast been been nursing a baby for or better still both babies for a period of times too . I think u should give her time or better still hold on with child birth for now and watch how things goes . God help ur family bro

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Carry your cross. I m sure you were busy focusing on huge front n back while dating without knowing what she could bring to the table

YOU ARE CALLED A HUSBAND BECAUSE OF HER, YOU ARE A FATHER BECAUSE OF HER.
IS THAT VALUE??

BROS TAKE UR LAZY ASS AND THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX AND LEAVE THAT BLESSED WOMAN ALONE

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

please be reasonable

kestolove95:
Is her choice to work or not..you are her husband go out there and provide for her and the kids nd stop lamenting

Where did this nonsense of Men are providers come from. Everyone should work, no food for a lazy hand
Even the Bible in Proverbs 30 says the virtuous woman must work and earn money to feed her family.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Alot of guys out there are facing your challenges.

Income still walking while family expenses speeding away like Ferrari engine.

The honest truth is combining family, home duties with business/ corporate world will require you to put in place substitutes for all the chores/work she does around the house.

You have to accommodate maid(s)/in-laws to make the transition from house wife to income earner smooth hoping those one don't also come with thier issues. Also, understand that it takes networking, different approach (social media) to succeed in business nowadays because competition is fierce in most business terrain.

Also, if she has not being in the corporate world before marriage, I doubt she can go in now because that sector has prerequisite for the decent jobs unless you will make do with roles like call centres/ receptionist etc.
In all, your best bet is getting her a government job that still gives her ample time for family n starting a new biz small without much of your input.

Any business will she does now will take your time( less time for the kids) and risk your finances again.

Any woman not doing any serious business or job before marriage and child birth is designed to be an housewife. It will take a lot of resources and networking to change that

saintopus:
A microscopically insignificant few wives add value to the lives of their husband. I've been married for over 15 years with 3 children.
That is stark reality!!!

Bros, don't encourage the OP. He probably promised his wife a "soft life" or is it "Baby Girl Life" we should call it self?

From the Day One, I made mine understand that I'm not looking for "Oga's wife" o but an ambitious woman who will hustle, make her own money and not depend fully on a man's money. It was partly why I broke up with one Barbie Doll that I dated then. Hanty only dresses well, looks good and has no plan to do anything meaningful with her life.

My wife adds a lot of value to my life. Aside having a business and supporting me financially, she's my backbone. Although some wires dey touch for her head sometimes, but I can't trade her for anything in the world.

The OP's problem stemmed from the dating phase. He saw all the tale signs of an unambitious, lazy and entitled woman. Yet, he went ahead to marry her because she probably has a big ass and boobs. Now that the chicken has come home to roost, bros come dey lament.

Oga, don't sey she's not adding value to your life o. All the knackings wey you dey knack every night has to count for something nau.

#Picks_tooth

Stephen0mozzy:
You like it when you get mentions abi, it gives you some dopamine hit. Because what in the unholy phurck did you just type here?

that guy must be mahd.

funkmrflexx:
I've been married for 3 years now with 2 kids, I try my best to take care of my family but the economy has become very bad so it's no longer possible to take care of a family of 4 on just 1 income.
When I had money, I setup a business for my wife because I want her to be engaged and also she can support with whatever she has from the business, but after a year the business crumbled with no results to show (she gave many excuses on why she can't continue the business), even after that I've tried engaging her on other endeavors but she's not always serious.

Now she does nothing, she just presses phone and play games all day long, all the responsibilities are on me, basically everything from school fees, feeding, house rent to buying a cube of Maggi.

I've tried talking to her several times but she will pretend to be serious and goes back to default settings, I'm tired and its really talking a tole on me, sometimes I just get angry at her for no reason and I don't even want to come home.

It's not the fact the she's staying home that's the issue, its the fact the she's not showing any effort to try and do something. I'm tired because all the money I make is being used for feeding and running the house, I can't even save or even think about buying properties

Crybaby. Cry us a river cos its obvious your sire didnt give you OT on Marriage. Why dont you do other businesses? Think outside the box nd provide for ur family jarey

Nevertheless, as a Christian, I won't give him the option to divorce his wife, except for the purpose of adultery.

Kobojunkie:
I am not asking him to settle with the situation as is. I am making him see that the woman is not the problem, from what he described.🥱🥱

If OP decides that he is better off divorcing the woman and raising his kids by himself, that too is an option. He will have to navigate the consequences of that as he goes. 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
A helpmate as defined by whom or what? The marriage contract that is signed by the man and woman in question? Or the religious delusions that you specifically operate under? 🥱🥱

2. Marriage as partnership only applies if and only if the couple in question chose to enter into the agreement that is marriage as partners and not as master-slaves, the default traditional option in much of Nigeria. 🥱🥱

3. The woman in question did pull her weight. She had two kids, keeps the home and even tried her hands at business for a while. What exactly are you dead set on blaming on this woman? 🥱🥱

She pulled out those kids because she herself wanted to and it's almost certain that those kids will tilt more towards her when they grow ___she will reap the greater rewards while the man gets little or next to nothing.

It's funny how you all spew up all sorts of illogical thoughts to drive down a silly and nonsensical point.
A wife should add value to her man, she should ease his stress not compound them.

idiagbo86:
Bro, it’s usually very difficult for wives to start up something and keep it going during child birth . In about 3 years which is 36 months she has been pregnant for 18months , she has atleast been been nursing a baby for or better still both babies for a period of times too . I think u should give her time or better still hold on with child birth for now and watch how things goes . God help ur family bro

You minding the selfish man?

Kalulu44:
Prepared wella no be to kill myself for another person wey no go waste time find another man

See, you have to understand something..,as a man,it is more pleasurable to give than to receive.
This marriage thing is not for everyone.If you see 'providing' as hard labor,it is better not to marry, because providing for someone is more of pleasure than pain,I swear it is a blessing believe me.