₦airaland Forum

So I'm needing an advice on something an I'll go straight to the point, earlier this month, say 3rd of March I was on a call with my girlfriend and we were having a conversation, in the cause of that she made a statement that I found offensive, she told me " your shame the shame me" which I told her to take that back and apologized, the first thing she said was " no shout for me o" then I told her i don't want to hear anything from her mouth any further, the next word that comes out of her mouth better be her apologies. She doubled down on it instead and said " she'll apologize when she feels like ".
Right there I hung up the phone on her. It's been 3 weeks since that incident happened. Actually I'm trying to forget about her but it hasn't been easy, so I just need to know, was I too harsh on her? I know am not stupid neither am I foolish right, if any of my friends were to tell me this about their girl, I'd probably tell him to move on that she doesn't respect him well enough, but this is someone I've been in a relationship with for 5 years now and am having this mixed feelings and confusing thoughts.


What do you guys think seriously?. I guess I deserve whatever insults that might come up too cause I can't believe am actually doing this

Toreddo3679:
So I'm needing an advice on something an I'll go straight to the point, earlier this month, say 3rd of March I was on a call with my girlfriend and we were having a conversation, in the cause of that she made a statement that I found offensive, she told me " your shame the shame me" which I told her to take that back and apologized, the first thing she said was " no shout for me o" then I told her i don't want to hear anything from her mouth any further, the next word that comes out of her mouth better be her apologies. She doubled down on it instead and said " she'll apologize when she feels like ".
Right there I hung up the phone on her. It's been 3 weeks since that incident happened. Actually I'm trying to forget about her but it hasn't been easy, so I just need to know, was I too harsh on her? I know am not stupid neither am I foolish right, if any of my friends were to tell me this about their girl, I'd probably tell him to move on that she doesn't respect him well enough, but this is someone I've been in a relationship with for 5 years now and am having this mixed feelings and confusing thoughts.


What do you guys think seriously?. I guess I deserve whatever insults that might come up too cause I can't believe am actually doing this

since it happened has she tried to reach out? Have you guys spoke since then

Na see finish they cause am. She knows say you no fit live without her, and why she dy do you like that and I bet no be today e start. Imagine how you take dy even reason, person tell you word wer u no like and you tell the person to apologize, only for the person to tell you say the apology go come when ever she feels like and you dy here dy ask if you dy harsh.

Like I said, na see finish dy do una and maybe you no know yourself again because of her.

Tenrack:
since it happened has she tried to reach out? Have you guys spoke since then

No form of communication bro, haven't reached out since then.

marlow1962:
Na see finish they cause am. She knows say you no fit live without her, and why she dy do you like that and I bet no be today e start. Imagine how you take dy even reason, person tell you word wer u no like and you tell the person to apologize, only for the person to tell you say the apology go come when ever she feels like and you dy here dy ask if you dy harsh.

Like I said, na see finish dy do una and maybe you no know yourself again because of her.

Seriously bro, it didn't start today and she knows my weaknesses already. Although I've told myself I'll have nothing to do with her any further, have blocked her number and everything, I just need to know that I'm not overreacting. Good to know that I am not

A whole 5 years you have been fking her for free with no plans if getting married to her and you expect respect when other niggas dey find her. U never see anything

Toreddo3679:
No form of communication bro, haven't reached out since then.

let her go bros. She no rate you.

Cum4me:
A whole 5 years you have been fking her for free with no plans if getting married to her and you expect respect when other niggas dey find her. U never see anything

make she go meet other Niggas. She go see wetin she dey find in due time. Think say life na black and white

Cum4me:
A whole 5 years you have been fking her for free with no plans if getting married to her and you expect respect when other niggas dey find her. U never see anything

She fit still go meet other niggas make she give them 10yrs of free fukin and plans of getting married no go still dy.

Toreddo3679:
Seriously bro, it didn't start today and she knows my weaknesses already. Although I've told myself I'll have nothing to do with her any further, have blocked her number and everything, I just need to know that I'm not overreacting. Good to know that I am not

Calm yourself down, you did the right thing.
If she don't reach out to you on why you have not called or text since, not only that she doesn't rate you (like someone said), you be the emotional support system.
Get your shits together. If the 5 years hasn't yielded anything tangible to you, that 5 years is a waste.

marlow1962:
Calm yourself down, you did the right thing.
If she don't reach out to you on why you have not called or text since, not only that she doesn't rate you (like someone said), you be the emotional support system.
Get your shits together. If the 5 years hasn't yielded anything tangible to you, that 5 years is a waste.

Yeah bro, thanks chief

You have some growing up to do with your reactions. You can't control everything. Even your president said he knows people abuse him on the internet but he doesn't go there. You are actually overreacting because you want to force respect when you should earn it. Woman matter no be through force. Women are very cunning and if you play into their hands, you will look like a child to them.

A woman that tells you your shame de shame her, you don't think she cares so much about you that she's ashamed on your behalf? Na you de see am as insult and I think it is your ego that is reacting here. Now that you have done without her, you come de miss am abi you no miss am? If e sure you, you no go come here de ask us. Another thing guy, manage your own house. If you ask friends too much, na dem go advise you to leave her and chike her later. Men still need women and if she is a good girl, keep her. You just miss opportunity to know the shame wey you de carry for head but pride no gree you hear am.

Op, what led to her making that comment?

Were you both having a serious conversation or what?

The mode of the conversation will actually determine if she meant it as an insult, but then, she should just have apologized when you told her you found it offensive regardless.
Considering how long you two have been together.

E fit be say she don taya for you sha.

Your pride big pass Lagos-Ibadan expressway. Alpha male, lol. Your eyes go soon clear say life on Nairaland is very far from reality. However, I believe you may be under 30 and still have time to work on yourself, learn and relearn.

Keep moving, 5 years was already too long for whatever you both were doing. You two should try your lucks elsewhere.

This is best time for reflection on the 5yrs relationship

What is her contribution to your life?
Where does she work?
What are you enjoying in the relationship ?
Is it all about sex?
Where do you see yourself with her in the next 1yr?

Just reflect on everything ,you will have answers to your question.

Please don't reach out to her again.
If she tries to communicate, ignore her.
5 years relationship... Some ladies dey try ooh

Mariangeles:
Op, what led to her making that comment?

Were you both having a serious conversation or what?

The mode of the conversation will actually determine if she meant it as an insult, but then, she should just have apologized when you told her you found it offensive regardless.
Considering how long you two have been together.

E fit be say she don taya for you sha.

This is why they don't get married anymore. Na pride full both men and women. Strong alpha male and strong independent women. Clash of egos. Marriage is a school, dem no wan learn. Having children and raising them is another school of life but my body, my burden. I don't need to do what everyone has done, yadi yadi yada. Some things in life na experience. Na small thing like this dem de fight, imagine wetin go come happen if na big thing, dem go shook demsef knife and cutlass, tear am like meat.

Any girl wey do 4 year degree on top man hand no serious.

Konji de mess with your brain. See your life now, a mature man like you disgracing my gender on nairaland. “I see some ignorant fellow asking what does she bring to the table”. See as a guyman, if you no add real value to yourself no girl will spend on you. No be everytime woman go de collect from you cos she don see say you can’t control your urges just like an animal.

Nah your shame dey shame me when they tell you make you cut rope like this...?


Na wah o. You go dey uptight o. Loosen up small nah.


Your shame dey shame me sef!