₦airaland Forum

There is a statement people casually throw around.

"Men are polygamous in nature"

And recently that :

“Humans are polygynous (polygamous) by nature, both male and female.”

It sounds bold. It sounds scientific. But it is only half trueand that is where the confusion starts.

Let’s break it down properly.

From a biological and evolutionary standpoint, humans are not strictly one thing. We are not purely monogamous, and we are not purely polygamous. We are flexible.

Anthropological data shows that many traditional societies allowed polygyny i.e one man with multiple wives, mainly because of resources, status, and survival structures. But that does not automatically mean both men and women are naturally wired to live that way without conflict.

Here is the reality people avoid.

Humans have dual instincts.

On one hand, there is the drive for variety, attraction to multiple partners, curiosity, and sexual diversity that exists in both men and women.

On the other hand, there is a strong need for emotional security, bonding, exclusivity, and stability which also exists in both men and women.

These two forces constantly compete.

So when someone says “ men or humans are naturally polygynous/polygamous,” what they are really pointing to is the capacity for multiple attraction not necessarily the ability to manage multiple committed relationships without emotional cost.

Those are not the same thing.

If humans were truly and comfortably polygynous by nature, we would not see jealousy, insecurity, competition, and emotional breakdowns in multi-partner relationships. But we do see it consistently, across cultures.

This tells you something important.

Biology may open the door.
Psychology often complicates it.

Now add society into the mix.

Culture, religion, economics, and personal values all shape how people express their relationships. Some choose monogamy for stability. Some practice polygamy for cultural or personal reasons. Some reject both and define their own path.

So the smarter conclusion is this:

Humans are not “naturally polygynous” or “naturally monogamous.”
Humans are adaptable, with competing desires.

The real question is not what is “natural.”
The real question is: what actually works emotionally, practically, and sustainably for you?

Because having the capacity for something does not mean you can handle the consequences of it.

And that is where most people get it wrong.

Cc nlfpmod seun dominique

Your conclusion is ridiculous. As if humans go about choosing "what actually works emotionally, practically, and sustainably for you". In realty almost all our sexual behavior is by instinct NOT logic. And I believe it is rooted in biology NOT psychology or choice. And I believe it all goes back to giving your genes the best chance to survive and be passed on. For men this instinctively means impregnating (sleeping with) as many new women as possible. For a woman, because she can only have few children, it means sleeping with a strong (rich) man who'd protect her and her few offsprings into survival. Result: a man is more turned on by a NEW woman while women are more turned on by power, prestige, wealth.
Of course there are always outliers, but you don't judge by them

QuinQQ:
Your conclusion is ridiculous. As if humans go about choosing "what actually works emotionally, practically, and sustainably for you". In realty almost all our sexual behavior is by instinct NOT logic. And I believe it is rooted in biology NOT psychology or choice. And I believe it all goes back to giving your genes the best chance to survive and be passed on. For men this instinctively means impregnating (sleeping with) as many new women as possible. For a woman it means sleeping with a strong (rich) man who'd protect her and her children into survival. Result: a man is more turned on by a NEW woman while women are more turned on by power, prestige, wealth.

Just because you have the instinct doesn't mean you must fulfill that instinct.

Dpsychologist:
Just because you have the instinct doesn't mean you must fulfill that instinct.

The discussion is what men and women naturally tend towards. Men tend towards polygamy (newness is more important than quality). Women tend towards hypergamy (quality is more important than anything else)

Zero sources posted. Thread filed under Entertainment.

Men being natural polygamous is exaggerated and old saying by the rich people to justified why they are womanizing.

Let's put relationship aside, dealing with people generally whether friends or family is complicated, now imagine relationship with extra self entitlement involved.

Even with one woman, it has to be the right partner because they can be sometimes complicated.

There is no way your partner can match all the criteria you are looking for in a relationship, anything from 60% love match is averagely healthy and manageable