₦airaland Forum

Sonnobax15:

How can only one person have all these problems?

Tho I don't believe in spirituality but bro,this your addictions ain't ordinary

Stephen0mozzy:
Who are your friends?

I strongly believe that if you're in the right company of friends, there are some kain addiction that you'll be too busy succeeding to fall into.

Inability to Delay Gratification
You've trained your mind to want to kum everytime you're her-roused. So, John Thomas will alway find little things to arouse you, even Biro without cover, go be like n**de (Weird thought, I know 🤣).

You're too isolated from people, and have too much time on your hands. Go out more, find side projects to work on. Lock your money in some savings app, such that you only have just enough money to live comfortably in a month.

Sinkara:
You are very right
I'm moving closer to God henceforth
I don't think it's ordinary too
To think I don't do brothel before at all
It just started suddenly
Now I can't do without going there at least 3 times in a week

Sonnobax15:
a whole 3 times a week bro . Omoh,Dem suppose award you with a customized polo T-shirt.

Sinkara:
You no lie boss
But it's not an achievement

Sinkara:
Please help me
I can't seem to concentrate
I masturbate everyday
And if I get small money, I go to brothel, have sex with more than 3 girls and still go home and [b][/b]masturbate
I guess alcohol is my major problem because I tend to make these brothel decisions when I'm drunk
Working in the brewery doesn't help me, I have access to alcohol a lot
So I have made a decision going forward to avoid alcohol
If I do that, my brothel addiction will reduce a lot
But for masturbation, it's really hard to go 3 days without masturbating
I don't know how I can tackle that

Sonnobax15:

How can only one person have all these problems?

Tho I don't believe in spirituality but bro,this your addictions ain't ordinary

Sinkara:
You are very right
I'm moving closer to God henceforth
I don't think it's ordinary too
To think I don't do brothel before at all
It just started suddenly
Now I can't do without going there at least 3 times in a week

Mariangeles:
That is because they're all connected.



Na there problem come dey for you because wetin don manifest for physical, na from spiritual the matter don already conclude.
But the good news be say, na God get the final say. That is if you get discernment sha.
Anybody wey no carry God join body for this life go carry last.

"When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream"




That's a step in the right direction @bolded.

Dude! You're under a siege.
Fight back with all you've got, otherwise, you will be rendered useless.

Sinkara:
Please help me
I can't seem to concentrate
I masturbate everyday
And if I get small money, I go to brothel, have sex with more than 3 girls and still go home and masturbate
I guess alcohol is my major problem because I tend to make these brothel decisions when I'm drunk
Working in the brewery doesn't help me, I have access to alcohol a lot
So I have made a decision going forward to avoid alcohol
If I do that, my brothel addiction will reduce a lot
But for masturbation, it's really hard to go 3 days without masturbating
I don't know how I can tackle that

vetrovialMan:
Bro!
Only you one!!
The demons na timber and caliber o!

seunjungle1:
Go marry is the only solution

Hungrychicken:
I used to order OS before, that shit is one very difficult habit to get out of. What started as a first time experience turned to multiple encounters and then an habit.

I checked my hookup log last year , I don order more times than I could imagine. Sometimes, twice in a week. Even borrowed money from Palmpay when I need to feed the habit. My last card was not even spared.
When I feel bored I order os. I was almost getting into the lifestyle of exploring threesomes. Thank God I never had the chance for that.

My problem was that I was alone and always at home. I started to feel those thoughts and gave in easily. What I did was change states and stopped taking calls from my old friends.
When I got to a different state, the thought to explore was starting to linger, but I shut it down. I don’t want to entertain it anymore.

My advice:

Change environments,
Cut off those old contacts,
Starve the habit and thought, over time you’ll gain more control

Mariangeles:
That is because they're all connected.



Na there problem come dey for you because wetin don manifest for physical, na from spiritual the matter don already conclude.
But the good news be say, na God get the final say. That is if you get discernment sha.
Anybody wey no carry God join body for this life go carry last.

"When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream"
Its not enough to say you he is moving closer to God,it should be a decisive action.ln a simple language, Sankara needs spiritual deliverance.He should look for a Bible believing church to start with.He needs the knowledge of the word of God and consistent prayers for deliverance.Going to brothel as if going to church weekly, is no other thing but demonic motivated spirit. Until he realizes this,no amount change of characters will do.He needs JESUS




That's a step in the right direction @bolded.

Dude! You're under a siege.
Fight back with all you've got, otherwise, you will be rendered useless.

essentialone:
You’re juggling 3 things that are feeding each other:

1. *Alcohol* → lowers your brakes → brothel decisions
2. *Brothel visits* → guilt/shame + money drain + reinforces the cycle
3. *Daily masturbation* → you can’t focus, can’t go 3 days, it’s numbing you

You already nailed the biggest lever: *alcohol*. If you cut that, brothel trips will drop hard because drunk-you makes choices sober-you regrets. Working in a brewery makes it brutal, but not impossible. And yes, masturbation daily is hijacking your concentration. So we tackle this in layers.

*1. Alcohol first — because it’s the trigger for the worst decisions*

You work in a brewery, so “avoid alcohol 100%” is unrealistic day 1. Aim for *harm reduction + friction*.

*Today you can do:*
1. *Tell one trusted person at work*: “I’m off alcohol for health reasons, help me stick to it.” Accountability beats willpower.
2. *Change your route*: Don’t pass the staff bar/fridge after shift. Go straight to locker, then out.
3. *Replace the ritual*: Most drinking at breweries is social + habit. Get a soda/water/sports drink and hold that instead. Same hand motion, zero alcohol.
4. *Money block*: Leave cards at home. Carry only transport cash. Drunk-you can’t spend what you don’t have.
5. *24-hour rule*: If urge hits, tell yourself “not today, maybe tomorrow”. You only have to win today.

Alcohol is the domino. Knock it down and brothel urges drop 70% because shame + liquid courage won’t be there.

*2. Brothel pattern — break the auto-pilot*

Right now it’s: small money + alcohol → brothel → 3+ girls → home → masturbate → shame → repeat.

*Break the chain:*
1. *No money, no brothel*: On payday, send 90% of money to a savings account you can’t touch instantly. Use a friend/family member if needed. If you only have ₦2k for the week, brothel isn’t an option.
2. *Change route home*: If brothel is on your normal path, take a different bus/street. Add 10 mins of friction.
3. *Call someone before you cave*: Write one friend’s number on paper. Rule: “I must call before I enter.” Saying it out loud kills the trance.
4. *Track after*: Every time you go, write: “Cost ₦X, felt Y after”. Read it when sober. Shame isn’t the goal — data is. You’ll see the pattern fast.

*3. Masturbation — why 3 days feels impossible*

Daily masturbation isn’t evil. But when it’s compulsive, it fries your dopamine and kills concentration. Your brain is overstimulated. Going 3 days feels hard because:

1. *You’re using it to cope* – Stress, boredom, loneliness, come-down from alcohol.
2. *Triggers are everywhere* – Phone, alone in room, after brothel, before sleep.
3. *No replacement* – If you remove it, what fills the hole?

*How to tackle it without “no-fap shame”:*

*Week 1-2 goal: Not “quit forever”. Goal: “Increase the gap”.*
If you’re daily now, aim for once every 2 days. Then every 3. Progress, not perfection.

*Practical steps:*
1. *Morning routine*: Don’t touch phone first 30 mins after waking. Urges are strongest when you’re groggy + scrolling. Get up, cold water on face, make bed.
2. *Urge surf: 10-min rule*: When urge hits, set timer 10 mins. Do pushups, walk, text a friend, wash plates. If urge is still 10/10 after 10 mins, fine. But 80% of urges pass if you don’t feed them instantly.
3. *Make it boring*: No phone, no tabs, no porn. If you must, do it lights on, standing up, no fantasy. Your brain will stop using it as escape if it’s not a “movie”.
4. *Night defense*: Worst time is alone in bed with phone. Buy a cheap alarm clock. Charge phone in another room. No phone in bed = 50% of battles won.
5. *Exercise*: 20 mins of sweating daily drops urges a lot. Brewery work is physical, but intentional exercise hits different brain chemicals.
6. *Track, don’t judge*: Mark a calendar. X = day you did it. Goal is fewer X’s than last week. No self-hate on relapse days. Just data.

*4. Concentration will come back*

Your focus is shot because alcohol + daily porn/masturbation + guilt are draining your mental battery. As you cut alcohol and space out masturbation, 2 things happen:
1. *Sleep improves* – No more drunk sleep or 2am guilt.
2. *Dopamine resets* – Normal tasks start feeling rewarding again.

Give it 14 days. You’ll feel the fog lift.

*5. If you need backup — you’re not weak for using it*

1. *Nigeria*: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI) – they have free helplines and therapists who understand addiction. Google “MANI Nigeria helpline”.
2. *AA meetings*: There are Alcoholics Anonymous groups in Lagos. Brewery workers go. You won’t be alone.
3. *If urges feel out of control*: Talk to a doctor. Sometimes compulsive behavior is linked to anxiety/depression/ADHD. Treating that helps the behavior.

*Your plan for the next 7 days — simple, not perfect*

1. *Alcohol*: No drinking Mon-Sun. Tell 1 coworker today.
2. *Money*: Withdraw only transport + food cash. Rest goes to account with no card.
3. *Masturbation*: Aim for 3 times this week max, not daily. Use 10-min rule.
4. *Night*: Phone charges outside bedroom.
5. *Slip?*: If you slip, write what triggered it, then restart the clock. No “I failed, so I’ll binge”.

You’re not disgusting. You’re stuck in a loop your brain thinks is helping. Alcohol + easy sex + dopamine on tap = your brain thinks it found cheat codes. But the cheat codes are stealing your focus, money, and peace.

You’ve already done the hardest part: “I made a decision going forward”. Now we just engineer your days so the decision wins.p

I’m here. No judgment.

Sinkara:
Please help me
I can't seem to concentrate
I masturbate everyday
And if I get small money, I go to brothel, have sex with more than 3 girls and still go home and masturbate
I guess alcohol is my major problem because I tend to make these brothel decisions when I'm drunk
Working in the brewery doesn't help me, I have access to alcohol a lot
So I have made a decision going forward to avoid alcohol
If I do that, my brothel addiction will reduce a lot
But for masturbation, it's really hard to go 3 days without masturbating
I don't know how I can tackle that

Sinkara:
I'm married
Just living in a different city
I go home once in a month
I'm 32

Sinkara:
I'm telling you boss
I dey earn 200k monthly and I look very very wretched and malnourished
I just want to speak out and I have
Going forward I want to live a normal life and face those demons

vetrovialMan:
I empathize with you bro, you have to channel that energy and time into something positive.

imismimum:
Sha no go carry sickness give your innocent wife for house. For this era of yanma yanma disease everywhere.

Sinkara:
That's my fear too
But I have never done raw with any of them
I always used condom
But nonetheless, that's byegone now
I have open a Cowrywise and transfered 150k in it
50k goes inside it every month from my monthly salary
That way, after sorting everyone, my budget will be tight so I won't have to think about brothel

imismimum:
My brother condom dey burst sometimes ooo,and other wicked infections dey wey condom no fit stop. Am happy for the decision you made,may God help you as u have decided to help yourself

Sinkara:
You are right
One can never be too careful
I just hope I won't go back to that kind of life style again
It's too crazy

Sinkara:
Please help me
I can't seem to concentrate
I masturbate everyday
And if I get small money, I go to brothel, have sex with more than 3 girls and still go home and masturbate