₦airaland Forum

5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Everything you said about love is how genuine love feels like. People only do different when they are selfish. As a man, it’s your job to take your time and study very well before investing. God bless you if you get the right one, but the wrong one will make you a philosopher like some people.

loves is a beautiful things
When you're with the right person

Blue pilled beta male talks. I no get strength for argument abeg. Let me just drop just one redpill quote, just one.

"Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of." - Rational Male

"Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love." - Rational Male

But Tinubu loves Nigerians na.. abi that one no follow?

SpencerForbes:
There is no such thing as romantic love; it’s a total myth. What people call "love" is just another carrot and stick situation—a psychological chase that isn't real.

​It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but that’s the raw truth. All these feelings are just conditional fondness based on what the other person brings to the table. Nobody loves you for nothing. If those traits or attributes disappear, the "love" vanishes too.
​True, unconditional love doesn't exist in romance. It’s all transactional.

"Men are the romantics forced to be the realists, while women are the realists using romanticisms to effect their imperatives (hypergamy)." - RM

"Women love opportunistically, men love idealistically." - Rational Male

Oya teach us how it works. No be by copy and paste. No go make more money dey here dey tell us about love, as if u have ever been in love.

The conclusion of the whole matter is there is nothing like unconditional love

Love doesn't exist........ Love is an Ilusion

Ifexibe:
"Men are the romantics forced to be the realists, while women are the realists using romanticisms to effect their imperatives (hypergamy)." - RM

"Women love opportunistically, men love idealistically." - Rational Male

Every form of love has conditions attached. A man primarily loves what he sees, while a woman loves for what a man provides today or his potential to produce in the future. In the end, romantic love isn't a feeling—it's all about the end product.

Dpsychologist:
5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Why you no add who love you no go stress you?

Una don finally dey wake up from blue-pill programming. Nice one 👍👍👍

SpencerForbes:
There is no such thing as romantic love; it’s a total myth. What people call "love" is just another carrot and stick situation—a psychological chase that isn't real.

​It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but that’s the raw truth. All these feelings are just conditional fondness based on what the other person brings to the table. Nobody loves you for nothing. If those traits or attributes disappear, the "love" vanishes too.
​True, unconditional love doesn't exist in romance. It’s all transactional.

I honestly concur on this with you...

This write-up is as real as it gets . We married people grew to understand this without being told before hand.

Love alone is not enough. There is so much more needed for a successful marriage.

I blame that Backstard called "Barney" for corrupting my young mind. Purple Dinosaur with a Faht Gyattt

Dpsychologist:
5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Gboom:
The conclusion of the whole matter is there is nothing like unconditional love

Gbam! No long talk.

Cash for hand, back for ground.

Allen Avenue style is the reality model for life. Nor let romance talk fool anybarry.

Dpsychologist:
5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Myth No. 6. Many thinks love and marriage is Romeo and Juliet/Titanic love story or love movie which ended well, and unfortunately, theirs has never ended well.

Men are in love, women are in business

I grew up believing in true love

Days of watching Romeo and Juliet, Titanic

Grew up believing a woman can truly love you for who you are…
But I learnt th hard way …. Girls always leave for the badder guys, the popular guys in school , and when we all left school, girls always wanted the richer guys
So I learnt hard and well… and i metamorphosed into the baddest they have ever had…. Breaking Bad, yeah Breaking hearts!

I always thought I would meet one girl , tell her I truly loved her and be with one woman … but after learning g the hard way… I have resolved to bang as many girls I can, until I finally find one I can consider to marry and make the mother of my kids

That was how I went into dating multiple ladies, and yes/ who doesn’t want a fine boy, not just fine but with a rare high IQ.
A combination of fine boy, high IQ and financially comfortable runs the ladies crazy… some even tell me I should please donate my sperm for them so they can use it to fertilize their eggs if I won’t settle with them

Chai women!!

Ifexibe:
Blue pilled beta male talks. I no get strength for argument abeg. Let me just drop just one redpill quote, just one.

"Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of." - Rational Male

"Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love." - Rational Male

Soji Minister......enough said

Every soul knows good from bad, so many things you didn't need to be told or taught, because you already know if they do it for you, it would hurt you, but selfishness in human nature is what's destroying relationship/love.

Ifexibe:
Blue pilled beta male talks. I no get strength for argument abeg. Let me just drop just one redpill quote, just one.

"Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of." - Rational Male

"Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love." - Rational Male

The only woman capable of loving a man unconditionally is his mother

Omoawoke:
The only woman capable of loving a man unconditionally is his mother

the same way, the only man who can love woman unconditionally is her father.

Only the last part of your write up make sense

Dpsychologist:
5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Omoawoke:
The only woman capable of loving a man unconditionally is his mother

Even your mum's love is conditional.

Ifexibe:
Even your mum's love is conditional.

very correct...some men think their sisters and mums are exempted. Make dem dey play.

Hhh4444:
very correct...some men think their sisters and mums are exempted. Make dem dey play.

If you know you know, dem no dey tell person. Experience is the best teacher.

You never chop you dey find true love...
Loke loke ... girl wey you carry for head dey give another man head

Ifexibe:
"Men are the romantics forced to be the realists, while women are the realists using romanticisms to effect their imperatives (hypergamy)." - RM

"Women love opportunistically, men love idealistically." - Rational Male

We see and feel the idealized love all the time