₦airaland Forum

MY BROTHER I WILL ADVISE YOU TO WITHDRAW THE INVITATION FIRST, THEN TELL HER TO GIVE YOU SPACE TO THINK.

THEN COMMUNICATE WITH THE PERSON THAT SENT YOU THE WHATSAPP MESSAGE AND FIND OUT MORE TRUTHS.

PROVIDED SHE HAS LIED TWICE ALREADY AND YOUVE DISCOVERED IT, THE MARRIAGE WILL NOT LAST, IT WILL BE FULL OF SUSPICIONS AND DISBELIEF AND YOU WON’T HAVE PEACE.

YOU CAN FORGIVE BUT YOU WON’T FORGET, YOU'LL ALWAYS SEE HER AS A LIAR.

THATS A WRONG FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE.

WHO EVER SENT YOU THAT WHATSAPP MESSAGE LOVES YOU.

DID YOU ASK HER IF SHE WAS A VIRGIN, HOW DID I'M A VIRGIN COME INTO THE PICTURE.

WOMEN LIE MORE THAN MEN, AND WHY THEY GET AWAY WITH IT IS BECAUSE MEN BELIEVE THEM.


IF A MAN FIGHTS WITH A WOMAN AND THE CASE IS BROUGHT FOR JUDGEMENT ALL THE MEN THERE WILL BELIEVE THE WOMAN AND CONDEMN THE MAN.

DON'T MARRY ANYBODY YOU'VE KOT DATED FOR AT LEAST A YEAR

BE WISE

Didn't you catch the sarcasm? If after all those huge red flags he still considering the marriage, then let him go ahead. He gonna learn the ............... way.

advanceDNA:
After pointing out all the red flags, u still went with a contrary advice …
Im curious, do tell why that was ur final advice ?? I mean, what did u based the advice on??

Is this a solidarity for your gender ??
Or some kinda putting yourself in her shoes thing??

I mean why in the flying fvck would u push your fellow human into the pit..??

Girl tell you she’s a virgin.

You believe am rush go marry na.

I no know who mumu pass

Galactics:
Your own small sef. My guy's former girlfriend told him she was a virgin and the guy confirmed that her hymen is still intact. But the shocker was that other guys was sleeping with her through the anus. It was one of the guys who was fucking her through the ass told my guy and he confronted her but she denied. When my guy mentioned the name of the guy that told him she started crying and confessing that it was true. Mind you it wasn't even only one guy, they were many. If only men know the kind of heart that women have, hnmmm.

Wen u are looking for what is not *most* important, they will keep playing your head like talking drum.

Which one is more important between VIRTUES and VIRGINITY? For me, I will choose VIRTUES

The last time I checked, several women that husband met with virgin, sleep with countless men after first sex with husband.
I know 2 personally.

When they deceiving a man, a rational thinker won't deceive himself.

[quote .

[b]But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.[/b

Personal qualities like being a compulsive liar.
Did she need to tell him that she was a virgin?
Everyone lies but this lady is on another level.
With someone as deceptive, one should be suspicious of all her so called good character.

If her only crime was keeping the abortion away from his knowledge, everyone one can understand but this her virgin backup story shows how far she can go with a lie.

What else is she lying about?

Virgin Doctor you guys are so naive wtf.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Cancel the wedding, that’s merely trickle truth. There are many many wild things you don’t know about the lady. Btw why lie about her virginity status, did you make it seem like virginity was a dealbreaker for you?

No one is perfect, everyone carry their own flaws. However, for the fact that she has not been truthful from the very beginning is a red flag. Although every decision depends on you. If you truly love her, then proceed with the marriage. The ball is in your court.

House built on air

BarrElChapo:
Cancel the wedding, that’s merely trickle truth. There are many many wild things you don’t know about the lady. Btw why lie about her virginity status, did you make it seem like virginity was a dealbreaker for you?

The guy himself, is a red flag for a good wife material, they are the type of wayward guys, who have done all sorts of nonsense with women in the past and would just wake up one day, hallucinating and hunting for virgin wife.

Those types of guys usually ended up with liar and manipulator.


Still not get the logic behind of men wanting to sleep with different women recklessly and same time, want to marry virgin. How is that possible, only in the land of irrational homo sapiens.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Better cancel everything now before it's too late, than have a mountain of regret later. She lied before, she can lie again.

If you feel you need to get along with the wedding and forgive her, call the chief of your village and the elders, and tell them your discovery, and ask for their counsel, I'm sure they will have one or two wise words to give.

But I wonder how the guy won't find out, she's not a virgin, on their wedding night, and she has been lying this whole time .. 🤦

SQL Master... meaning or suggesting he is an expert in the Database Field.
Now a 31 Year old Medical Dr. says unpenetrated, but has been Penetrated.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

You can go ahead .. it not a big thing she has choosen u .. stay with her and forgive her .. sometimes diamonds are found in the dirth

I stopped reading when you said that u promised your mum u will get married in December...
Na una deh put unnecessary pressure on una self.... Ur mum has lived her life now u want to live yours for her??

Whatever u got as a result of making an important life decision because of the promise you made to your parents.... U deserve it 100%

U will be alright sha... I pray u find peace and help

Bro, who never sinned should cast a stone. Lots of folks here will tell you to cancel.the wedding but let me tell you, she might have been wronged by lying she's a virgin but in the other way becomes the best woman or wife you could ever wished

A Virgin doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.

That's the bottom line

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

If you haven't done it yet, run my brother.

Who ignores signs go later see wonders na because you caught her that's why she has to admit it maybe sef no be only one guy she has slept with

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

she confess to you and show remorse, what else do you want, for you to believe a girl at 30 at this time is a virgin shows you are docile, she love you, go ahead and marry her, she will for ever appreciate you, the next lady you will meet maybe ex hookup manager. Enjoy your marriage, may God bless your new home in advance

The writer is not a serious person. Virginity doesn’t keep a home, a responsible and virtuous women does. Are u a virgin yourself. I’m a medical doctor myself, and I’ve seen many marry ad virgins and today they’re divorced coz of bad character. I dont support her lying though, but if she’s really a good girl, better go ahead and marry her

Don't ever allow that GirL near your Food again. I'm more concerned about her genuine Love for you or fear of losing her last suitor.

Everyon3 has a past.. Some are so ashamed of it that they cover it.
Her past is not something to be proud of hence her attempt at covering it.

Forgive her. Jesus forgave us all our sins..

Although i believe its a story just to garner engagement and not real my advice is real.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Aringon:
Bro, who never sinned should cast a stone. Lots of folks here will tell you to cancel.the wedding but let me tell you, she might have been wronged by lying she's a virgin but in the other way becomes the best woman or wife you could ever wished

A Virgin doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.

That's the bottom line

Every mallam with his kettle. OP is free to do with her what he pleases. I personally won't marry her.

If she lies about virginity because she's ashamed, will she lie about paternity of the children? Lie about a health emergency? Lie about her finance? Lie about a neighbor? Lie about my siblings?

Everyone has their own threshold of the kind of falsehood they can allow. I trust easily, never forgive a trust that's broken.

miyagi01:
The writer is not a serious person. Virginity doesn’t keep a home, a responsible and virtuous women does. Are u a virgin yourself. I’m a medical doctor myself, and I’ve seen many marry ad virgins and today they’re divorced coz of bad character. I dont support her lying though, but if she’s really a good girl, better go ahead and marry her

U support her Lying

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

GREAT ADVICE.
YOU SUPPOSE TRY DEY ADVICE PRESIDENT TINUBU TOO.

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

What sort of sign would this be? Please give example

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

U get sense

PrinceNEMEREM:
GREAT ADVICE.
YOU SUPPOSE TRY DEY ADVICE PRESIDENT TINUBU TOO.

😝 If them give me appointment, you sure say I no go start dey behave like Bwala and Onanuga?

If she has said that lie to retain the relationship with you, I am of the opinion that you should let it go.

Several ladies tend to regret having premarital sex, especially when they find out that they basically wasted their time. When they find the right suitors, they torment lies to make themselves appear as virgins. When you factor the value that they bring to their relationships, you are bound to choose the positive side and let go.

Virginity is not an assurance of conception; it is not a marker of either a good wife or a good home maker. You can find a Virgin who will take away your peace in the marriage. Virgins also have conception issues, if that is your fear.

If the lady is kind; if she gives you joy; if she gives you peace of mind; if you find that she”ll bring great value to the marriage; if she”ll make a good wife by your observation; then virginity is nothing compared to what you stand to gain. No rule stops you from proceeding, afterall you are not a Virgin.

Do not get confused by what inexperienced young men say. If your parents, who by the way are more experienced than you accept her wholeheartedly, please do not look at the error. She told you a lie out of the fear that she’ll lose you. She truly loves you and wants to be your wife.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It is strength, greatness and the mark of a man full of wisdom. Please remember always in your marriage, that forgiveness is one major key to success and lasting peace in the home.

Cheers.

cc: invertedHammer, kindly offer your candid advice, as a PhD holder in Clinical Psychologist in the USA with over 25 years experience working with AA and Western Europeans ooooooooo mucheche Hahaha 😂

You won enter wahala