₦airaland Forum

Baba (na man you be if you be man)

You made me log into Nairaland just to like your post after 8 years.

See advice ehh!!!😄

May the wisdom cap you wear never grow old!

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

If she's born again Pls Marry her.

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

This .....this right here.....postpone the marriage and go into prayer...too notch

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

No use resident finish person na

Forgiving and accepting her is an extra layer for a solid marriage. She is truly remorseful, hence the fear and lies. She's a good lady. Go ahead, have time with her, sleep with her, impregnate her before marriage.

capnies:
MY BROTHER I WILL ADVISE YOU TO WITHDRAW THE INVITATION FIRST, THEN TELL HER TO GIVE YOU SPACE TO THINK.

THEN COMMUNICATE WITH THE PERSON THAT SENT YOU THE WHATSAPP MESSAGE AND FIND OUT MORE TRUTHS.

PROVIDED SHE HAS LIED TWICE ALREADY AND YOUVE DISCOVERED IT, THE MARRIAGE WILL NOT LAST, IT WILL BE FULL OF SUSPICIONS AND DISBELIEF AND YOU WON’T HAVE PEACE.

YOU CAN FORGIVE BUT YOU WON’T FORGET, YOU'LL ALWAYS SEE HER AS A LIAR.

THATS A WRONG FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE.

WHO EVER SENT YOU THAT WHATSAPP MESSAGE LOVES YOU.

DID YOU ASK HER IF SHE WAS A VIRGIN, HOW DID I'M A VIRGIN COME INTO THE PICTURE.

WOMEN LIE MORE THAN MEN, AND WHY THEY GET AWAY WITH IT IS BECAUSE MEN BELIEVE THEM.


IF A MAN FIGHTS WITH A WOMAN AND THE CASE IS BROUGHT FOR JUDGEMENT ALL THE MEN THERE WILL BELIEVE THE WOMAN AND CONDEMN THE MAN.

DON'T MARRY ANYBODY YOU'VE KOT DATED FOR AT LEAST A YEAR

BE WISE

Apt,

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

Question well answered. Thumb up for you

Stephen0mozzy:
A virgin female doctor?
Hehehehe.... Asin, not to sound ignorant o... I guess there are tons of females who go through roughly 7years of medical school, 1year of housemanship, 1 year of youth service, around 3 years of junior residency...

Well, to return to your query... It could really be that she was ashamed, but I think she could have brought up the truth that she already had premarital sex before and doesn't want to do it again, without revealing anything about the abortion, and without claiming immaculate abstinence...but alas.

As you said, you like the way she carries herself.... Now I want to hope you rushed marriage preparation because of her value as a woman, AND NOT BECAUSE OF THE ILLUSION OF RETAINED HYMEN?

If the hymen was all you cared about, then I guess you should look for another resident doctor whose hymen is still resident in its natural position.

But if you want to marry her because of her personal qualities, see how you can forgive her LIE, but know that something built on a foundation of lies, already has a k-leg.

I wish you the bery vest.

You are neither here nor there!

She lied, she was deceptive abinitio and that deceiption invalidates everything about how she carried herself. She is unprincipled and dishonest. How she carried herself but couldn't say the very simple truth about herself.

Even if I can't advice him to continue or stop, I will asking him to use his teeth to count his tongue. Next time when a woman tells you she is a virgin try to confirm it yourself.

My friend had a similar experience, but in his case it was a surprise to him. She never opened her mouth to tell him about her virginity. It was when he tried to have a penetration that he knew about her virginity.

He immediately stopped, he was shocked and queried her on why she didn't tell him from the beginning. She said, she wanted a man that would love her like a normal girl not because of her virginity.

My friend never touched her until their wedding night. the experience was that he confirmed it himself, but in your case you couldn't confirm, it was your right to confirm. But you failed woefully.

I blame you for falling so cheaply to that lying tongue you are about to marry.

b2strike:
Forgiving and accepting her is an extra layer for a solid marriage. She is truly remorseful, hence the fear and lies. She's a good lady. Go ahead, have time with her, sleep with her, impregnate her before marriage.

see this one they believe woman. You think the man that impregnated is the only man that has entered the place..

Woman go really use you.

koladata:
I’ve commented before, but I just want to add this: please don’t be deceived by virginity alone. I’ve met virgins I still wouldn’t marry, even for 20 million naira, and I’ll explain why.

I met a lady some years ago. She was a confirmed virgin, everything was intact. Our relationship moved fast and we became intimate without penetration. She did everything else sexually except penetration, and honestly I was satisfied and willing to wait till marriage.

One day, I checked her phone and was shocked. She was doing the same things with about 10 other men. We all believed she was keeping herself for marriage. Meanwhile, me and another guy were the main boyfriends, while the others knew she was in a serious relationship and were waiting for their turn after she got deflowered. This is a true story, it happened to me personally.

So some virgins can still have worse character than non-virgins, and marriage is not only about sex. After some months in marriage, sex alone won’t sustain it. What matters more is good character, peace, loyalty, and contribution to the growth of the marriage financially and emotionally.

She’s a medical doctor too, so don’t overlook that. It could even help your Canadian PR plans. But above all, seek God’s direction before making any decision.

Cheers

He likes it or not, he must face the fact that the relationship is based on lies and deceit. Thats a red flag.

It's not about being a virgin. She lied about aborting a pregnancy.

What else could she be lying about?? Op don't know.

I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be played into getting married with someone.

Lets be honest and stop all this nonsense.

He sees the red flag and its real. Now he can roll the dice and face the consequences in the future.

BuzD:
Baba (na man you be if you be man)

You made me log into Nairaland just to like your post after 8 years.

See advice ehh!!!😄

May the wisdom cap you wear never grow old!

Lol.... Seun, see o, coman buy me three bottles.

I be man Baba 😅. Respect 🙌🏾🙌🏾

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Lucky for you that it happened before you tied the knot!!!.

Please take your time to decide calling to mind other things you may don't know about her that she has already lied to you.

Don't get fooled twice otherwise, you will regret the marriage and your life will be unbearable.

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

God is not giving you direction or sign. Sit down and analyse what you know so far about her, the truths and the lies and decide whether it is still worth it or not.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

Is that the only thing that u like in a woman virgin?
She loves u
Forgive her and go ahead. Fear is not good

OP I would just give this mature advise and exit this thread. First of all you must understand that there is no perfect woman out there, one way or the other, you must meet those who comes with bagaggges.

She is a medical doctor, she is a professional, yesss she lied to you, it hurts and betrays trust, but ask yourself why does that girl have to wait till now to rear her head? To kill your joy, to get back at her, and you giving her the chance to execute her premeditated malice.

If your woman is good, loving and marriageable, forgive her, build with her, tell her you are not happy, that marriage is built on trust and she shouldn't lie to you anymore! Look at the good rather than the ugly.

Las las e nor get who be Mother Mary.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

..you have not even dated the girl for some while Inorder to know her true characters and behaviors and her lifestyle..you just want to rush to marry her without dating... that is not how to marry.
You must first date her at at least for 10 months or more ..is through the dating you will know her true characters and behaviors and past and present lifestyles..
When you are rushing to marry her you are just marrying a stranger , ....a girl you really do not know much about

My advice on women is , choose your devil. Get oil and pour it on your, devil every day.

Everyone is going though something , no let anyone lie give you. Na manage we Dey manage ourselves.


You never hear say, we are not leaving here alive ?

Abeg call her and tell her direct , madam I love you , but in the lying field .

You are a field Marshal . Laugh it and caution her,she might be the one for you.

Chai, these girls re really using these innocent men o.

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

All the signs he was given already is from the devil ba

Una go just dey try to embarrass our creator publicly

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

As you Rush in na so you go rush out, you said she lies alot abi and you want my candid advice. Don't ever marry a woman based on self pity and expecting her to change from her lies in the future, it is better you call off the wedding and face the consequences now than regret for the rest of your life. If a girl can get pregnant during 1 year residency, bro them don dey flip her even before the residency, she wants to use Virgin as a way to lure cool looking young guys into her web of lies. you should be thanking the person that sent you the preg test, she actually wants to save you from future dillema.

Fiscus105:
Wen u are looking for what is not *most* important, they will keep playing your head like talking drum.

Which one is more important between VIRTUES and VIRGINITY? For me, I will choose VIRTUES

The last time I checked, several women that husband met with virgin, sleep with countless men after first sex with husband.
I know 2 personally.

When they deceiving a man, a rational thinker won't deceive himself.

Are you trying to discredit virginity, this kind of talk makes some ladies to start living a wayward lifestyle at the end they will start looking for an innocent guy to deceive, just this op shared. I will still say it, virginity is the pride and honour of a lady that kept herself for her husband to be.

b2strike:
Forgiving and accepting her is an extra layer for a solid marriage. She is truly remorseful, hence the fear and lies. She's a good lady. Go ahead, have time with her, sleep with her, impregnate her before marriage.

Remorseful in what way, assuming someone didn't open up, do you think she would open upto the guy and the worst is that the guy would have married her without knowing that his marriage was built on lies

koladata:
Go into a very very deep fasting and prayer , postpone the weeding date. Wait for God to give you a very obvious sign that she's your wife... I'm not a very religious person but believe me when it comes to choosing life partner, God will personally intervene if you ask him for direction

He is already in love, Na his mind can only speak to him cause he will not listen to God even if God speaks to him. Them no dey advice person when dey in love.

ufotunang:
..you have not even dated the girl for some while Inorder to know her true characters and behaviors and her lifestyle..you just want to rush to marry her without dating... that is not how to marry.
You must first date her at at least for 10 months or more ..is through the dating you will know her true characters and behaviors and past and present lifestyles..
When you are rushing to marry her you are just marrying a stranger , ....a girl you really do not know much about

For his mind him don catch Gold, so na to beginning mine her. He is marrying up. Na this of man when don tell himself I must marry a doctor or nothing. A word is enough for the wise. Any woman when if do one abortion can as well run 10 not even when she is a Doctor.

I don't know what is wrong with humans?
Something so obvious. If she could keep that sort of secret, you still want to do forever with her?

bejick:
For his mind him don catch Gold, so na to beginning mine her. He is marrying up. Na this of man when don tell himself I must marry a doctor or nothing. A word is enough for the wise. Any woman when if do one abortion can as well run 10 not even when she is a Doctor.

..abi.. you are saying the truth

Medical doctor a virgin? , no na,
The so called ex might still even be knacking her.
The lies are just too much.
But again she might just be the best out there because trust me, so many women are damaged in terms of marriage materia, so many.
Be lucky she wasn't into hookup.
In the next five years, every 8 in 10 bride will be former hookupians

Your reason wanting to marry her was because you thought she was a virgin?

Lol. okay

SQLmastar:
Please house, I need mature advice. This matter is tearing me apart.

I met this lady (a doctor)
4 months ago. I'm 35, she is 31.
She told me she was a virgin and I believed her because of how she carried herself. I was very happy and rushed everything – introduction, engagement, and marriage plans (I promised my mum that I would get married before December 2026). We were supposed to do our traditional marriage in one week’s time.

Last week, I received an anonymous WhatsApp message. The person sent pregnancy test results showing that my fiancée was pregnant for her ex-boyfriend during her 1-year residency. She had told me about this ex, but said they never had sex, and that was why they broke up.
I confronted her with the message. At first, she denied it and said it was fake, someone trying to spoil her name. But when I said I would call her best friend to confirm, she broke down and confessed the truth.
She admitted she got pregnant for the ex, aborted it immediately, and promised herself never to have premarital sex again. She said she was ashamed and didn’t want to lose me, so she lied about being a virgin.
Now I’m confused and heartbroken. I love her but the lies are too much.
On the other hand, I have already invited many people – including the chief of my village and my manager at work. Cancelling now will bring serious shame and talk in my village and workplace.

Please Nairalanders, what should I do? Should I go ahead with the marriage or cancel everything? Has anyone been in this kind of situation?

I need honest advice.

A “31” YEARS OLD FEMALE “DOCTOR” TOLD YOU SHE IS A VIRGIN AND YOU BELIEVED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?
YOUR MUMU LEVEL SEF NA TOP-NOTCH

God is showing you signs, and you're still asking questions. Wow! Continue. Na you go still come here for advice.

Forgive and proceed with the marriage.....
Even for bible, women head no too correct...
If you feel good with her and as long as the consequences of her past don't affect her present or future, y not?
Continue with the relationship...
After all, everyone has done something in the past they are not to proud of