₦airaland Forum

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

qtguru:
But if na woman date 2 boyfriends na problem. Hypocrite

folake4u:
Majority of Nigerian men always want to eat their cake and have it.

pocohantas:
And they want us to cancel Chike o.😂

funnyDM:
You are at a point where delaying the decision is already becoming a decision on its own. Both women are asking you to meet their parents because they likely see the relationship as moving toward commitment. If you continue with both while unsure, the risk is that someone eventually gets deeply hurt — including you.
The confusion you feel is normal. Attraction, attachment, and compatibility are not always the same thing.
Here’s a practical way to think through it.

1. Stop asking, “Who do I love more?”
Instead ask:
Who gives me peace?
Who brings out discipline and purpose in me?
Who fits the kind of future I want in 5–10 years?
Who handles conflict maturely?
Who genuinely respects me?
Around who can I be fully honest?
If money became hard for two years, who would still stand well with me?
Which relationship feels stable instead of emotionally confusing?
Love alone is not enough for marriage. Stability, character, respect, and shared direction matter heavily.

2. Fear of making the wrong choice may actually mean you are avoiding pain
Part of your fear may not be “What if I choose wrong?” but also:
“What if I hurt one of them?”
“What if I lose someone valuable?”
“What if the one I leave later becomes more successful?”
“What if marriage changes everything?”
That fear can keep a man stuck between two lives for too long.
But maturity sometimes means accepting that clarity comes with sacrifice.

3. Observe who is truly compatible with your future
The nursing graduate and the polytechnic graduate may both be good women. But marriage is not a beauty contest or certificate competition.
Watch for:
Emotional maturity
Financial attitude
Respect during disagreements
Family values
Spiritual beliefs and lifestyle
Temperament
Loyalty
Ability to build with you
Ask yourself:
“If attraction reduced tomorrow, who would still make a strong life partner?”
That question reveals a lot.

4. Do not meet both parents if you already know you can only choose one
Meeting parents in many Nigerian families is seen as serious intention. If you are still uncertain, avoid giving both families strong expectations at the same time.
Instead:
Be honest with yourself first.
Take a short period to decide intentionally.
Reduce emotional juggling.
A man cannot think clearly while emotionally feeding two serious relationships equally.

5. Create a private comparison — not based on emotions alone
Take a notebook and divide it into sections:
Quality
Woman A
Woman B
Peace of mind


Trust


Respect


Communication


Shared future goals


Family compatibility


Emotional maturity


Supportiveness


Attraction


Ability to endure hardship together


Be brutally honest. Patterns will start appearing.

6. Ask yourself one uncomfortable question
If today both women suddenly disappeared from your life forever…
Which loss would truly break you the most — not because of ego, beauty, or benefits — but because you know that person genuinely fits your life?
Sometimes your heart already knows, but your fear keeps creating noise.

7. Once you decide, be clean and respectful
Do not keep one as a “backup option.” That creates long-term guilt and confusion.

When you decide:
Commit fully to one.
End the other relationship respectfully and clearly.

Avoid manipulation or false promises.
That is part of becoming serious in life.
You do not need a perfect choice. You need a wise, intentional, honest choice.

folake4u:
Majority of Nigerian men always want to eat their cake and have it.

pocohantas:
And they want us to cancel Chike o.😂

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

kpankpangolo:
“At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games.”

Who made the rule that you should marry one woman? Accepting rules means you’re playing a game. Do the needful.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

funnyDM:
In addition, pretend that you are in a deep shit, like you lost your job. Tell them about your situation and ask them for financial help of up to N30k. The one that sends you the money is really committed to the relationship.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

Peacecore:
What are insinuating?

OredoPikin:
Infection made the rule.
Why should you do 2 women at the same time.

I remembered i onced engage in this
Although the other one was just a side chic to me but i was sleeping with her raw.
But she gave me infection, i passed to my gf unknowingly, then i treated myself, then my gf then now passed it back to me before i opened up to her and we both went and treat ourselves together
I didn't even tell the side chic, i just cut her and focused on just one girl
ThankGod it was a treatable infection.
One minute pleasure go just send you to early grave

kpankpangolo:
Use A.I. for an in-depth explanation.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do

funnyDM:
You are at a point where delaying the decision is already becoming a decision on its own. Both women are asking you to meet their parents because they likely see the relationship as moving toward commitment. If you continue with both while unsure, the risk is that someone eventually gets deeply hurt — including you.
The confusion you feel is normal. Attraction, attachment, and compatibility are not always the same thing.
Here’s a practical way to think through it.

1. Stop asking, “Who do I love more?”
Instead ask:
Who gives me peace?
Who brings out discipline and purpose in me?
Who fits the kind of future I want in 5–10 years?
Who handles conflict maturely?
Who genuinely respects me?
Around who can I be fully honest?
If money became hard for two years, who would still stand well with me?
Which relationship feels stable instead of emotionally confusing?
Love alone is not enough for marriage. Stability, character, respect, and shared direction matter heavily.

2. Fear of making the wrong choice may actually mean you are avoiding pain
Part of your fear may not be “What if I choose wrong?” but also:
“What if I hurt one of them?”
“What if I lose someone valuable?”
“What if the one I leave later becomes more successful?”
“What if marriage changes everything?”
That fear can keep a man stuck between two lives for too long.
But maturity sometimes means accepting that clarity comes with sacrifice.

3. Observe who is truly compatible with your future
The nursing graduate and the polytechnic graduate may both be good women. But marriage is not a beauty contest or certificate competition.
Watch for:
Emotional maturity
Financial attitude
Respect during disagreements
Family values
Spiritual beliefs and lifestyle
Temperament
Loyalty
Ability to build with you
Ask yourself:
“If attraction reduced tomorrow, who would still make a strong life partner?”
That question reveals a lot.

4. Do not meet both parents if you already know you can only choose one
Meeting parents in many Nigerian families is seen as serious intention. If you are still uncertain, avoid giving both families strong expectations at the same time.
Instead:
Be honest with yourself first.
Take a short period to decide intentionally.
Reduce emotional juggling.
A man cannot think clearly while emotionally feeding two serious relationships equally.

5. Create a private comparison — not based on emotions alone
Take a notebook and divide it into sections:
Quality
Woman A
Woman B
Peace of mind


Trust


Respect


Communication


Shared future goals


Family compatibility


Emotional maturity


Supportiveness


Attraction


Ability to endure hardship together


Be brutally honest. Patterns will start appearing.

6. Ask yourself one uncomfortable question
If today both women suddenly disappeared from your life forever…
Which loss would truly break you the most — not because of ego, beauty, or benefits — but because you know that person genuinely fits your life?
Sometimes your heart already knows, but your fear keeps creating noise.

7. Once you decide, be clean and respectful
Do not keep one as a “backup option.” That creates long-term guilt and confusion.

When you decide:
Commit fully to one.
End the other relationship respectfully and clearly.

Avoid manipulation or false promises.
That is part of becoming serious in life.
You do not need a perfect choice. You need a wise, intentional, honest choice.

funnyDM:
In addition, pretend that you are in a deep shit, like you lost your job. Tell them about your situation and ask them for financial help of up to N30k. The one that sends you the money is really committed to the relationship.

Rhymesy:
I am currently dating two women. The one I love most just finished from Federal Polytechnic, Nekede, last year and she's currently serving. The other one just finished nursing science school. Both of them are unique in their own ways. At this point, I want to be serious in my life and stop playing games. Both of them have asked me to meet their parents, but I keep delaying the move just because of fear of making the wrong choice. I'm just confused. Nairalanders, waiting I go do