₦airaland Forum

Three Relationship Principles Nigerians Learn Too Late

First principle:
Never commit emotionally too fast.

Not because love is bad.
Not because women are evil.
But because emotional blindness makes people ignore red flags, abandon standards, lose discipline, and tolerate nonsense they normally would never accept.

Many men fall in love with potential, beauty, attention, loneliness relief, or fantasy versions of people.

Then reality arrives later.

Emotional control is important.
Attachment without wisdom destroys judgment.

Second principle:
Never behave like another human being is your property.

Too many people enter relationships with ownership mentality.

“My woman.”
“My man.”
“My possession.”

Human beings are not private property.
People have free will.

A relationship should be built on mutual choice, loyalty, respect, and commitment.
Not control, obsession, or entitlement.

The moment somebody starts believing they completely “own” another person emotionally, jealousy, insecurity, fear, manipulation, and emotional instability usually follow.

Love should not feel like imprisonment.

Third principle:
Do not hate women or men.
Understand human nature instead.

Bitterness makes people stupid.

A man who hates women becomes emotionally reactive and easier to manipulate than the calm man who simply observes reality clearly.

Women are human beings.
Human beings are complex.

Some are loyal.
Some are manipulative.
Some are genuine.
Some are selfish.

Same applies to men too.

One mistake many people make online is turning painful experiences into universal hatred.

A few heartbreaks happen, suddenly every woman becomes “the enemy.”
That mindset eventually poisons judgment.

The smarter approach is this:
See people clearly.
Pay attention to actions, not words.
Maintain standards.
Protect your peace.
Control your emotions.
Never let lust think on your behalf.

A disciplined man is harder to manipulate because he is not desperate for validation, attention, sex, or emotional rescue.

One painful truth about relationships is this:
Love without self respect becomes suffering.

Another painful truth:
Cynicism without wisdom becomes loneliness. Balance matters. Care deeply. But think clearly too.

Personally personally

Can you imagine that nobody on my street killed ram? I've been walking up and down since yesterday to see if I'll see anyone killing ram in front of their compound, I didn't. What kind of Salah is this na, me I wan chop ram o.

You get the point but na money we wan hear

Only one principle to learn is that ...
Whoever love most hurt most
Know this and know peace

Genuine love is no more, everybody is just looking for who they can finesse.

These are fact and God knows, I personally do not see my wife as property, neither do I rule out the possibility of anything happening, that way I keep myself prepared just incase anything happens. And so far, she's the best person I have in my life right now

The last and most important, allow your exes go. Stop hanging on to exes because you'll only destroy your next relationship or marriage.

Most women make men see them as their property

If you depend on him for all your needs, my sister you are his property

Tinubu have taken the small love that remain..woman are looking for survival.

Nice one OP. Kudos to you for this piece

Emeskhalifa:
These are fact and God knows, I personally do not see my wife as property, neither do I rule out the possibility of anything happening, that way I keep myself prepared just incase anything happens. And so far, she's the best person I have in my life right now

And it's mostly people like this that find the most loyal of women. Life isn't balanced at all.

Following to learn.......
Let's have it.

First principle:
Never commit emotionally too fast.

This is not so true my good Sir. Many people have lost good men and women because they were trying to get the emotional upper hand... pretending not to care, just so that they other person will commit emotionally first.

For me, If I love you, it'll show. I'll move heaven and earth for you. But the speed at which I can cut people off is faster than the speed of light - I can unplug with unbelievable speed, you'll think I never really loved you.

But when you show that you can reciprocate my love, you'll be like a queen in my world.

emmabest2000:
Only one principle to learn is that ...
Whoever love most hurt most
Know this and know peace

This is one of the most regurgitated pieces of misinformation ever. Realistically, when you love genuinely, you will always be able to give everything without losing anything. You won't feel hurt - altruism backed by diligence is the secret. And guess what? Those who love genuinely never fall in love; yet they always love the most.

Meanwhile, it's the one who falls in love that feels hurt should the relationship collapse - the receiver. The receiver is usually either attached to the giver because of the giver's material possession/status or the giver's physical beauty.

Gbadugbakun:
Can you imagine that nobody on my street killed ram? I've been walking up and down since yesterday to see if I'll see anyone killing ram in front of their compound, I didn't. What kind of Salah is this na, me I wan chop ram o.

Do u live in the UK. That ur street can’t be a Nigeria street

I learnt some points... Well-done !!!

Nice one. Nice one Nice one

Points taken and noted, however, i dont think this should worry us at this present condition of the country.

Do not hate women or men.
Understand human nature instead.


Animal behavior

That's a great piece there!

Please keep it coming

Balance is needed in every situation

Ebydeb:
Points taken and noted, however, i dont think this should worry us at this present condition of the country.

the present condition of the country is what it is. It can only get worst. Learn to live with it . Nigerians have been complaining since 1960. Na inside this wahala ppl dey build mansiins, buy big houses etc

Iiar. There are ram going for 100K plus so what are you talking about.

Gbadugbakun:
Can you imagine that nobody on my street killed ram? I've been walking up and down since yesterday to see if I'll see anyone killing ram in front of their compound, I didn't. What kind of Salah is this na, me I wan chop ram o.

I agree with the OP, absolutely!
Honestly, hearing: "MY husband, my wife, my children...My, My..." makes me laugh. Think about it deeply, you own nothing, not even "your" body! Everything you are and you have, you received...just a conduit!

Not when money is involved

Nigerians dont care about relationship rules when money is involve

OP.. This is indeed, a master piece..✍

Well said

Well said

I really love that second point, I dislike possessiveness a lot, even in guy to guy friendship, superior to subordinate relationship. I am not your property.

Gbadugbakun:
Can you imagine that nobody on my street killed ram? I've been walking up and down since yesterday to see if I'll see anyone killing ram in front of their compound, I didn't. What kind of Salah is this na, me I wan chop ram o.

Oga, you go Waka long ooo.




It is well with you

Best post I've come across today.

Very useful info for maturing young ones