₦airaland Forum

I came across several stories recently that all pointed to the same issue.

One guy met a lady he had known years ago. They entered the same keke, chatted for a while, and when it was time to get down, she simply asked, "You go pay for me?" He paid for himself and left.

Another guy approached a lady he liked while she was buying yam. After some small talk, he asked for her number. Her response?

"Buy yam for me first."

The guy simply smiled and walked away.

Someone else shared how a lady stopped replying to his messages immediately after he refused to send money for her lunch.

Then there was another story that stood out.

A guy met a lady and, to his surprise, she paid ₦200 for him. The next day, he took her out on an expensive dinner.

Funny enough, that ₦200 gesture probably impressed him more than many people demanding thousands of naira ever could.

Reading all these stories made me realize something.The issue is not that men should never pay. The issue is not that women should never receive. The issue is expectation and entitlement.

Somehow, many people have developed the mindset that the moment a man says hello, he has automatically accepted financial responsibility.

You entered the bus yourself. You were already planning to go somewhere. You were already hungry before he appeared. Yet because he spoke to you, he is suddenly expected to pay?

It is that logic has never made sense to me.

The truth is that generosity and entitlement are not the same thing. When someone voluntarily spends money on you, it feels kind. When someone expects it from you, it feels manipulative. Most men do not mind spending on women they genuinely like. In fact, many enjoy it. What they dislike is feeling like an ATM before they have even learned your surname.

The same applies in reverse. Many women appreciate generous men. What they dislike is a man who believes every naira spent should earn him access, affection, or intimacy. Both attitudes can cause problem ans make the other person feel used.

One of the most attractive qualities in any adult is the ability to stand on their own. Pay your transport fare. Buy your food. Handle your basic responsibilities. If someone helps you beyond that, appreciate it. If they don't, move on.

The funniest part is that some people who loudly demand "provider behavior" from strangers have never demonstrated "partner behavior" themselves.

A relationship is not a sponsorship program. It is not a fundraising campaign. It is not a transaction. It is a partnership.

The lady who paid ₦200 didn't spend much money, but she demonstrated something valuable: reciprocity. She showed she was capable of contributing rather than simply consuming. In today's dating culture, that quality is becoming increasingly rare.

The lessons are simple:
1. Generosity is attractive.
2. Gratitude is attractive.
3. Reciprocity is attractive.
4. Entitlement is not attractive whether it comes from a man or a woman.

Cc nlfpmod seun Dominique

Alot of women now a days are so entitled. You meet a lady today and she already expects you to start handling her bills.

I just ended a relationship because of this stupid entitlement mentality.

No any intellectual conversations, only stupid mentality. Useless girl.

Sheffdon:
I just ended a relationship because of this stupid entitlement mentality.

No any intellectual conversations, only stupid mentality. Useless girl.

Lol such is life. Sometimes is while she was growing up, she is used to getting anything she wants without lifting a finger. So it becomes automatic entitlement.