₦airaland Forum

Lamanii22:
I don't know why some people need maid if it isn't laziness or show off, I don't like the idea at all, my neighbor has a small girl working as a maid, I don't even know the last time that girl went to school, they'd send her on errand even at night, maybe I should even report this to the authority set....

MarketDispatch:
Good one...maid cooks for husband, wash for husband, cleans the house for husband, arranges house for husband, goes to the market for husband, whilst wife is just to seat down, press phone and browse Instagram. Husband will soon promote maid and demote wife

Harddiskng:
“What is important to us as a family”, like what?

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Most women that I have seen use a maid for almost everything, just use them to converse their energy so they can grow fat and round




Like you don’t know a man would rather have a clean, hardworking uneducated woman as a wife than an educated lazy, can’t-take-care-of-home working class lady.

QuinQ:
An old, old write-up.
This is in theory. Practice is quite different

thatigboman:
is Niger Delta a tribe? Over 60% of indigenous Niger Deltans are igbos

pocohantas:
Slavery: Slavery is the condition in which one human being is legally owned by another and forced to work without compensation.

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My house assistants work conditions;

1) My two house assistants were adults.

2) They signed a formal contract to work for/with me.

3) Work hours are 9am to 5pm, Mon-Fri, and on days where they worked beyond 6pm, they were paid for extra hours. Mostly days we bulk cooked or had a lot of deep cleaning to do.

4) They were entitled to breakfast and lunch.

5) They handled everything but cooking and caregiving. Errands, sweep, mop, market pickup (I have a shopper, they only pickup from her), iron clothes, clean general areas. They never washed or ironed adult clothes.

6) They were paid above minimum wage. 100k/month to be very specific. N40,000 biweekly. N20,000 was kept aside as their pension, payable with its accumulated interest upon resignation.

7) They both lived within walkable distance. Like a 15mins walk, so they didn't incur transportation cost.


What part of this arrangement was slavery? I am open to learning because this seems like a day job to me and legal domestic staffing have existed in different forms under different names.

chatinent:
Suitors prefer a wife (maid, mango seller, hair dresser, classic girl, literate, illiterate..etc). It has nothing to do with being a maid. It's about being able to be a wife.

Skj13777:
With that kind of salary you can employ a graduate . So house help cost you N200,000 a month and your saying your still looking for house help? Your story does not add up.

oroje1:
If you don't use harsh or unspeakable words on them when they make mistakes,then kudos to you and may God bless u abundantly.. Amen!!!

Skj13777:
With that kind of salary you can employ a graduate . So house help cost you N200,000 a month and your saying your still looking for house help? Your story does not add up.

Kemadealadire:
Then, the man should go ahead and marry the hardworking uneducated lady and rest. You lots come online to say all kinds. You think it's easy taking care of children esp. little ones, feeding, cleaning etc. on a day-to-day basis and still combining that with working a full-time job and/or running a business for money that would still go back to taking care of the family.

If you can afford to outsource some, why not??. How many men can do all these successfully, most can't even tend to their children for 2hrs. How many men can provide everything their family needs 100% without their women supporting Whereas it's the man's curse to provide for his family.

gabbytabby:
We are all at different stages of life and paying for some of the domestic services if you can afford to is an issue frowned on by people with a poverty mindset.

I can do it all ends up shortening peoples life especially in patriarchal societies with a it’s a women job mentality. Get and pay for help if you want to.

Don’t let essentially lazy and poor men gaslight you into an early grave.

UnknownQueen:
If house helps = modern day slavery, what then do you call office assistants and cleaners??

Or even care givers in developed country...

Everybody cant be rich, even the poor the bible says will be amongst us.....tell me what the poor do, if not one of the above...

Lamanii22:
I don't know why some people need maid if it isn't laziness or show off, I don't like the idea at all, my neighbor has a small girl working as a maid, I don't even know the last time that girl went to school, they'd send her on errand even at night, maybe I should even report this to the authority set....

MightySparrow:
Agreed. In our society man marries down ( hypogamy) ; girl marries up( hypergamy). Any parents going against such philosophy is wasting the marriage of the daughters from under his roof.
A man can marry that doctor, lawyer, banker, engineer, pharmacist that lacks the training to manage her man.
She would be a Vashti in the palace while the other woman outside is the confidant, the 'real wife'. The delicately, sophisticated one is just a social status woma who would soon become a single mother, divorcee, separated and a career woman. Such woman is a ' strong woman' outwardly but crumbling inside.

Train the girl - child. Sex is no longer a thing to tie any man down. intimacy gadgets are now taking over.

pocohantas:
I have had two house assistants (I rather not call them maid) and I ENJOYED it. I don't encourage using minors for domestic labour, but I employ adults. I also do not do live-in, and my decision to employ one had nothing to do with laziness or show-off. I simply conserved my time and energy for what is most important to us as a family. I would get another once I see a lady I connect with.

tollyboy5:
If they’re not physically abusing her. Just let them be, but the aspect of her not going to school is something else.
Do their own children go to school?

epainos:
Well done ma. Thats the way to go.

Let me jhuat be frank, the original writer of that article is among those who will relocate abroad and have serious crisis in their marriages. Lol.

The truth is that when a man is solid and busy, he wont even have time to push his wife to the kitchen. The woman is meant to supervise. I am not advocating for girls not to know how to cook, but Nigeria has a long history of seeing women as kitchen utensils. When that same women get abroad and they are empowered, the men cant cope and there will be crisis.

A man who goes after the maid juat because she can cook will have wahala too. That same maid will only be submissive in Nigeria. Let her get to an environment she is properly empowered and then realises her value.

So, let the men keep going for maids or girls who can cook only. Lol. Dem go soon understand that things have changed.

Onegai:
In my entire life, and it has been a long one

I have never seen this happen ever.

That's like Mr Eazi saying he left Temi Otedola for a GTB marketer because she doesn't enter the kitchen, but GTB marketer made ogbono soup from scratch for him. In 5 years' time, he will be telling GTB marketer angrily "what do you bring to the table??" and NL boys will be supporting him.

Even in Nollywood, these stories are obsolete.

Gbloriousgbola is right: the men that marry downwards are looking for who to control and it ends badly. That's what half of UK and US marriages are: someone left the women who were his equals, went to his village to marry a 20 yr old "virgin", carried her abroad and saw signs and wonders.

In the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s your ancestors were married to dutiful not-so-educated women who cherished their small shops, farms and tended to their homes. Those same men screamed "we don't want HOUSEWIFE, we want GRADUATE!" and we're always running off with a Secretary back then to make that one a 2nd wife.

Now, they're screaming "We don't want GRADUATE, we want HOUSEWIFE!". And running away to village for "peace of mind"

May the spirit of confusion and discontentment depart from us all. Amen

pocohantas:
Lol! You are simply delusional.
Adults took a job as a domestic staff. They go home to their families everyday and you say I am exploiting them? Which labour rule was flouted? Their future is in their hands now, they are not working with me anymore.😂

Teymanhenry:
This is exactly what I was telling my female colleague. Story story

I introduced her to one of my closest friends, but from the start, all she seemed interested in was what she could get from him. It was one outing, bar, or hangout after another. I warned her that no serious man takes a woman he values for marriage everywhere she wants to go just to fund her lifestyle. Unfortunately, her appetite for constant spending wouldn't allow her to heed that advice.

She would often claim she hadn't eaten at home just so he would buy her food. Before long, my friend met another lady, and the contrast was striking.

For three straight weeks, this new lady cooked meals, brought them to his house, and returned to her shop afterward. They spent time together without any pressure for intimacy. According to him, she was ticking almost every box he looks for in a wife.

The sad reality is that he now sees my colleague as nothing more than a casual fling. These days, he doesn't even invite her to his house anymore; it's mostly hotels and nothing beyond that.

Ironically, she has become desperate and keeps asking him to meet her parents, but he always finds an excuse. He openly told me that she is the last woman he would consider marrying because he sees her as a financial burden. Meanwhile, he has already started saving towards marriage with the woman he met much later. He believes that if things continue the way they are, he could begin marriage preparations with her by this time next year.

A lesson many people overlook is that while attraction may start a relationship, character, selflessness, and value often determine who gets chosen for commitment.

Kaczynski:
That's slavery in the 90s. Modern day slavery is utterly different.

You’re overcompensating to mask the fact that you’re treating them like indentured servants basically dangling their future like a carrot on a stick. You’re ensuring they’re always within arm’s reach like a well-trained pet.

You’re the one dictating their every move. They don’t get to choose their tasks, you assign them like a prison warden.


Slavery isn’t just chains and whips, It’s about control. It’s about making someone dependent on you for their livelihood. It’s about treating human beings like resources to be exploited.

This isn’t a job. This is wage slavery with a side of paternalistic bs. You’re not their boss, you’re their warden.

MarketDispatch:
Good one...maid cooks for husband, wash for husband, cleans the house for husband, arranges house for husband, goes to the market for husband, whilst wife is just to seat down, press phone and browse Instagram. Husband will soon promote maid and demote wife

chatinent:
Suitors prefer a wife (maid, mango seller, hair dresser, classic girl, literate, illiterate..etc). It has nothing to do with being a maid. It's about being able to be a wife.

Apcshit:
0.00
Thunder fire you

pocohantas:
I have had two house assistants (I rather not call them maid) and I ENJOYED it. I don't encourage using minors for domestic labour, but I employ adults. I also do not do live-in, and my decision to employ one had nothing to do with laziness or show-off. I simply conserved my time and energy for what is most important to us as a family. I would get another once I see a lady I connect with.