₦airaland Forum

pappilo:
My Kenyan babe is a ride or die but I still no fit trust woman fully again.

She earns well and in 7 years has never asked me for 1 penny. Stayed by my side throughout my trial in the crown court (found not guilty) and my cancer treatment.

Even during my court case this lady offered to pay for my defence but I refused because I no want any woman to talk say na she save me. Instead I pick overnight shift in a factory after my full time job to fund my defence. 9am to 5pm day job, 6.30pm to 5 am in factory for 1 whole year.

If no be wetin my ex wife show me I for don marry am but I no fit marry again. The girl too real. God bless your Juma. Na woman you be!

gabbytabby:
Its more about humanity in general and I was able to let go by something TD Jake’s said which ministered to me most people are litre people so if they meet up with a gallon person no matter what they do for the gallon person it will be a mismatch even when they have given their all.

You learn to moderate your tendency to saviour complex or solution driven or whatever you call it and never you loose sight of the fact of no one which is you.

This is the type of observation one should make before one selects a partner as people do not change from who they are at their core. It is a character flaw and one needs to feel they significantly compensate for it in other ways otherwise let them go and they will meet their match.

J2ff:
How you did not die running that kind of shift is a mystery that should be studied in all universities worldwide

AngelicBeing:
Hian, you also listen to TD Jake's sermon, l thought you were a Muslim, l will report you to the Sharia council of England and Medina ooooooooo

gabbytabby:
I was raised in a Muslim household but I am a Christian oh.

Been one since secondary school.

mightyhaze:
Why u go broke

U wan starve person dota

Sonnobax15:

Loving a Nigerian banny these days is one of the things Tinubu really need to declare a state of emergency on . Cuz it's now very obvious these female cockerels are now after our lives despite everything we(men) are already passing through in the hands of our economy

kpankpangolo:
Stop dating brokeys, una no go hear. The toto sef wey she carry as prize, na you go still do all the work for una two — especially her — enjoyment.

Drfernandez:
What has the girl's financial position got to do with the story? Learn to reason with your senses intact. The story is about a self-centered girl.

kpankpangolo:
As na only that part you choose to focus on, happy birthday.

Kalatium:
The story is not really about shawarma.

The shawarma is simply the evidence. The real issue is what it revealed.

For four years, one person had quietly made it a habit to think of two people every time he bought food. He never saw generosity as a transaction. He never calculated whether he would get the same treatment in return. He simply shared because he cared.

Then one difficult week arrived. This is not a year, not even a month o, just a week and it revealed a lot about her.

When she bought food only for herself, turned her back, and ate alone, what hurt was not the shawarma. It was the realization that the spirit of the relationship might not have been as mutual as he believed. In a single moment, he discovered that what he saw as "us" may have been viewed as "you and me" all along.

This is why people are reacting so strongly to the story.

Most people are not imagining themselves missing a shawarma. They are imagining all the sacrifices they have made for others, only to discover that the same energy disappears the moment circumstances change.

One of the hardest lessons in life is realizing that some people appreciate your effort without ever intending to match it. They enjoy your generosity, your kindness, your loyalty, your support, and your consistency, but they never see those things as responsibilities they should reciprocate. To them, receiving becomes normal while giving remains optional.

The truth is that relationships are not built during seasons of abundance. Almost anyone can be loving when everything is going well. Character reveals itself when sacrifice becomes necessary, when convenience disappears, and when somebody must choose between their own comfort and showing up for another person.

A relationship does not become one sided overnight. It usually happens gradually, through hundreds of small moments that seem insignificant on their own. One person keeps giving. The other keeps receiving. One person keeps understanding. The other keeps expecting understanding. One person keeps making adjustments. The other keeps benefiting from them.

Eventually, a moment arrives that exposes the imbalance.

The shawarma was simply that moment.

Men can learn something from this. Consistency is admirable, but generosity should not blind you to reality. The goal is not to find someone who enjoys what you provide. The goal is to find someone who values you enough to stand beside you when you have little or nothing to provide.

Women can learn something from it too. The strongest relationships are not built on what someone can do for you. They are built on reciprocity, consideration, and the willingness to show up when circumstances are less than ideal. Sometimes the smallest gestures communicate the deepest loyalty.

At the end of the day, everybody wants to feel chosen, appreciated, and valued. Nobody wants to discover that their importance in a relationship was tied primarily to what they could offer.

The saddest relationships are not the ones where love ends.

They are the ones where one person eventually realizes they were investing in a partnership while the other was simply enjoying the benefits.

What do you think? Was this story really about shawarma, or was it about something much deeper?

Drfernandez:
Of course, I agree with the other parts of your comment. To-to and love making in general ought not to have any meaningful monetary price placed on them. Men who know that they are the prize in a relationship between a man and woman have always acted accordingly.

wisdomkid:
"Men can learn something from this. Consistency is admirable, but generosity should not blind you to reality. The goal is not to find someone who enjoys what you provide. The goal is to find someone who values you enough to stand beside you when you have little or nothing to provide."

I hope you meet wisdom on the road one day and be wise. You're intellectually not average.

Reference:
Don't be a little minded man.
That is life.
That is the TRUE meaning of love.
That is the the test of sacrifice.
To expect NOTHING in return, EVER.

One of the most inspirational quotes that came to me a long while ago and has stuck with me for life, goes:

"A relationship can only be at rest when one party ACCEPTS to be subservient to the other"

And this truism concerns every kind of relationship that exists. From that of God and man, husband and wife, between business partners and even soccer team mates. One of the party MUST CONTINUE to make the sacrifice for that relationship to be at peace, at rest.

The idea that there is equality in relationships is just fairy tales. We are created to make sacrifices. We are created out of sacrifice.

You had accepted this role but have FAILED the test of rest. I suggest you get back to doing what made that relationship work and ignore everything else or go down like folks in the West in a blaze of selfishness onto broken homes and destroyed psyches.

Don't try to get her to equity.
It is the nature of humanity.

Reference:
See what I am saying.
You have allowed the actions of others dehumanize you, strip you of your remarkable values, the end result of which is a broken society where everyone is scattered and easily picked off by predators.

Kalatium:
The story is not really about shawarma.

The shawarma is simply the evidence. The real issue is what it revealed.

For four years, one person had quietly made it a habit to think of two people every time he bought food. He never saw generosity as a transaction. He never calculated whether he would get the same treatment in return. He simply shared because he cared.

Then one difficult week arrived. This is not a year, not even a month o, just a week and it revealed a lot about her.

When she bought food only for herself, turned her back, and ate alone, what hurt was not the shawarma. It was the realization that the spirit of the relationship might not have been as mutual as he believed. In a single moment, he discovered that what he saw as "us" may have been viewed as "you and me" all along.

This is why people are reacting so strongly to the story.

Most people are not imagining themselves missing a shawarma. They are imagining all the sacrifices they have made for others, only to discover that the same energy disappears the moment circumstances change.

One of the hardest lessons in life is realizing that some people appreciate your effort without ever intending to match it. They enjoy your generosity, your kindness, your loyalty, your support, and your consistency, but they never see those things as responsibilities they should reciprocate. To them, receiving becomes normal while giving remains optional.

The truth is that relationships are not built during seasons of abundance. Almost anyone can be loving when everything is going well. Character reveals itself when sacrifice becomes necessary, when convenience disappears, and when somebody must choose between their own comfort and showing up for another person.

A relationship does not become one sided overnight. It usually happens gradually, through hundreds of small moments that seem insignificant on their own. One person keeps giving. The other keeps receiving. One person keeps understanding. The other keeps expecting understanding. One person keeps making adjustments. The other keeps benefiting from them.

Eventually, a moment arrives that exposes the imbalance.

The shawarma was simply that moment.

Men can learn something from this. Consistency is admirable, but generosity should not blind you to reality. The goal is not to find someone who enjoys what you provide. The goal is to find someone who values you enough to stand beside you when you have little or nothing to provide.

Women can learn something from it too. The strongest relationships are not built on what someone can do for you. They are built on reciprocity, consideration, and the willingness to show up when circumstances are less than ideal. Sometimes the smallest gestures communicate the deepest loyalty.

At the end of the day, everybody wants to feel chosen, appreciated, and valued. Nobody wants to discover that their importance in a relationship was tied primarily to what they could offer.

The saddest relationships are not the ones where love ends.

They are the ones where one person eventually realizes they were investing in a partnership while the other was simply enjoying the benefits.

What do you think? Was this story really about shawarma, or was it about something much deeper?

Drfernandez:
What has the girl's financial position got to do with the story? Learn to reason with your senses intact. The story is about a self-centered girl.