₦airaland Forum

‎A girl you spoke to last like 5 years ago will suddenly message you out of the blues to ask for money.
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‎I met this girl during her youth service in Lagos around 2021, she was looking for directions because she was clearly new in the area, so I directed her to her destination and politely requested for her number which she gave to me.
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‎I chatted her up on Whatsapp later that evening and she told me she's based in Uyo but is serving in Lagos. I also noticed that she usually sounds very cold and dismissive whenever I call her or chat with her, after some months of trying in vain to even go out on a date with her, I just stopped disturbing her because it was very clear even to the blind that she just wasn't into me.
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‎Fastward to Tuesday this week, I checked my phone and saw 2 WhatsApp missed calls. I checked the number on Truecaller and it brought out Lilian Koper. I didn't know who that was and my mind didn't go to her even though her name is Lilian. So I called the number via Whatsapp and it was when she started explaining herself I discovered that it was her.
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‎She asked me how am doing I said fine, she told me that I've forgotten about her, and I reminded her that she's the one who cut me off. To cut the long story short she told me she needs my assistant, That I should assist her with some money because she's kind of short on cash.
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‎My annoyance is that she was even sounding very proud on the phone like I should be responsible for her. I just told her I don't have, ended the call and block her.
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‎I just don't know why girls behave this way. You call someone after 5 years of silence, you don't even know if he have a job or he is squatting with someone and the next thing you do is to request for money. Why on earth should I honor that request? am not suffering from low self esteem please.

Gbadugbakun:
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‎I just don't know why girls behave this way.

One girl, surely!

I got a call from a man I'd known when I was in school a very long time ago who asked me for money for his daughter's wedding.

One man!

budaatum:
One girl, surely!

I got a call from a man I'd known when I was in school a very long time ago who asked me for money for his daughter's wedding.

One man!

The man who called you had no romantic interest in you, and the two of you have known each other for decades. His request was made from the perspective of a longstanding friendship, not from a place of entitlement or arrogance. Sometimes, people simply reach out to those they trust, believing they can ask for help without any hidden motives. Not the same with my case.

Gbadugbakun:
The man who called you had no romantic interest in you, and the two of you have known each other for decades. His request was made from the perspective of a longstanding friendship, not from a place of entitlement or arrogance. Sometimes, people simply reach out to those they trust, believing they can ask for help without any hidden motives. Not the same with my case.

Actually, it was "from a place of entitlement and arrogance". He insulted me when I said no because I did not trust him due to something he had done in the past. And you and I both know that the girl who called you had "no romantic interest in you" and was only interested in your money, though correct me if you think I am wrong.

Notwithstanding, my issue is with your "girls" generalisation. As I can bet you know many girls who do not behave as this particular one did.

budaatum:
Actually, it was "from a place of entitlement and arrogance". He insulted me when I said no because I did not trust him due to something he had done in the past. And you and I both know that the girl who called you had "no romantic interest in you" and was only interested in your money, though correct me if you think I am wrong.

Notwithstanding, my issue is with your "girls" generalisation. As I can bet you know many girls who do not behave as this particular one did.

That man is sickkk

Gotocourt:
That man is sickkk

Your particular girl has something wrong with her too, and not all girls are like her, is my point.

budaatum:
Actually, it was "from a place of entitlement and arrogance". He insulted me when I said no because I did not trust him due to something he had done in the past. And you and I both know that the girl who called you had "no romantic interest in you" and was only interested in your money, though correct me if you think I am wrong.

Notwithstanding, my issue is with your "girls" generalisation. As I can bet you know many girls who do not behave as this particular one did.

Topic edited to some girls.

Gbadugbakun:
Topic edited to some girls.

Respect much.

Lilian Koper

SixSeven:
Lilian Koper

Na so I see am for Truecaller.

Gbadugbakun:
Na so I see am for Truecaller.

If I didn't want to believe your story, that part caught me off guard. The real question now is, do you still like her despite this bad behavior? This was someone you wanted to chase once upon a time? Because the way you blocked her is not ordinary. There is something deeper. You can choose to ignore her but it seems to me e pass her bad behavior

SixSeven:
If I didn't want to believe your story, that part caught me off guard. The real question now is, do you still like her despite this bad behavior? This was someone you wanted to chase once upon a time? Because the way you blocked her is not ordinary. There is something deeper. You can choose to ignore her but it seems to me e pass her bad behavior

Lack of communication kills love and feelings. Yes there was a time I was crazy about her, but like I said in my first post, she wasn't into me. I was making all the effort and she was barely reciprocating. Even when I stopped reaching out to her, her didn't care because I was the one doing the calling and texting. So she barely even noticed it. She probably had other guys fighting for her attention.

Then out of the blue after 5, years she suddenly reaches out to request for money. Those 5 years gap has killed every feeling I have for her that's why it was so easy for me to block her.

Gbadugbakun:
Lack of communication kills love and feelings. Yes there was a time I was crazy about her, but like I said in my first post, she wasn't into me. I was making all the effort and she was barely reciprocating. Even when I stopped reaching out to her, her didn't care because I was the one doing the calling and texting. So she barely even noticed it. She probably had other guys fighting for her attention.

Then out of the blue after 5, years she suddenly reaches out to request for money. Those 5 years gap has killed every feeling I have for her that's why it was so easy for me to block her.

💯
Protect your boundaries. You are doing well, for YOURSELF.

Gbadugbakun:
Topic edited to some girls.

Number one you just didn't see that her story was made up to counter what you said about the female gender. She just baited you to accept that you where wrong, saying all girls are the same.

keemsleek:
Number one you just didn't see that her story was made up to counter what you said about the female gender. She just baited you to accept that you where wrong, saying all girls are the same.

She didn't bait me because I know that not all girls behave that way. I've met good ones before.

Na the fact that you block the fowl sweet me pass.

But we also do the same thing to each other...🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

Gbadugbakun:
‎A girl you spoke to last like 5 years ago will suddenly message you out of the blues to ask for money.
‎
‎I met this girl during her youth service in Lagos around 2021, she was looking for directions because she was clearly new in the area, so I directed her to her destination and politely requested for her number which she gave to me.
‎
‎I chatted her up on Whatsapp later that evening and she told me she's based in Uyo but is serving in Lagos. I also noticed that she usually sounds very cold and dismissive whenever I call her or chat with her, after some months of trying in vain to even go out on a date with her, I just stopped disturbing her because it was very clear even to the blind that she just wasn't into me.
‎
‎Fastward to Tuesday this week, I checked my phone and saw 2 WhatsApp missed calls. I checked the number on Truecaller and it brought out Lilian Koper. I didn't know who that was and my mind didn't go to her even though her name is Lilian. So I called the number via Whatsapp and it was when she started explaining herself I discovered that it was her.
‎
‎She asked me how am doing I said fine, she told me that I've forgotten about her, and I reminded her that she's the one who cut me off. To cut the long story short she told me she needs my assistant, That I should assist her with some money because she's kind of short on cash.
‎
‎My annoyance is that she was even sounding very proud on the phone like I should be responsible for her. I just told her I don't have, ended the call and block her.
‎
‎I just don't know why girls behave this way. You call someone after 5 years of silence, you don't even know if he have a job or he is squatting with someone and the next thing you do is to request for money. Why on earth should I honor that request? am not suffering from low self esteem please.

she has tried plan A to plan J maybe you are plan K

It's simple. They don't respect you. Trust and believe, a woman would never message a man she respect out of the blue, after years, to ask for money.

She may have sensed that you are like all these men who are overjoyed by a drop of female attention, that you would even consider her contacting you like some sort of privilege and favor. Trust me, she doesn't do that to everybody. She filters in her contact who is likely to fall for that.
No girl who knows me would dare contact me for "urgent 2k", for she knows that it just won't work with me.

I remember a few years ago, a female colleague I haven't talked with for some years just contacted me out of the blue with: "Hi. You forget people." (translated) This is a woman I spent 2 years with, who invited me to her house on a few occasions to "help her with work".
Now, most guys would be overjoyed if a female acquaintance they had some affinity with, reached out to them unprompted.
But, I was concerned with her approach that I found disrespectful. I thought, "this isn't how you talk to a man you respect. If it was her father, her boss, a man she admires or truly respects, she wouldn't reach out like that." And for that reason, I didn't respond.

Another example, I was regularly talking with a girl that likes me 3 months ago. Then one day she contacts me and calls me "boy". I shut down the conversation right there, because my respect is more valuable than her attention and conversation. She apologized naturally, and came back a few days later.

Learn to deal clearly with disrespect from females, and you'll have less and less issues like this. If she's disrespectful, toss her to the side and move on.

Gbadugbakun:
Lack of communication kills love and feelings. Yes there was a time I was crazy about her, but like I said in my first post, she wasn't into me. I was making all the effort and she was barely reciprocating. Even when I stopped reaching out to her, her didn't care because I was the one doing the calling and texting. So she barely even noticed it. She probably had other guys fighting for her attention.

Then out of the blue after 5, years she suddenly reaches out to request for money. Those 5 years gap has killed every feeling I have for her that's why it was so easy for me to block her.

Your response to her was savaged enough.

I have deleted mine else I would shown you the response I gave to one girl just this evening. You'll almost cry and feel pained by my response.

However, learn emotional detachment quickly. I am sad you kept chasing her for months. Brotherhood isn't happy with that. 20mins is enough to know if a girl is interested in you or not.

I was on my own yesterday when a girl I approached on the road 2 day ago called me, of course I have since deleted her number because the night I collected her number was the night I called to arrange meet up the next day sharp sharp.

She was semi interested and said she'll call me when she gets back from work the following day. She didn't call and I didn't call her either to know if she still coming. I no send, also I was with another girl already that day (no sign of desperation), she then called on Saturday and came over. she slept over till this morning being Sunday. Now she's stylishly requesting for relationship.

My point, if a girl is interested in you, you'll know within 20mins of calling her.

Kipaji:
It's simple. They don't respect you. Trust and believe, a woman would never message a man she respect out of the blue, after years, to ask for money.

Perfectly said, babes rarely bill guys they hold in high regard as long as they aren't dating the guy, cos the risk of chasing such guys away (due to the billing) isn't worth it to them. Na, why once a girl you meet recently starts throwing petty billing towards you as a guy, just know she's aware of the risk involved and doesn't care if she chases you away, as the potential of getting money from you is more important to her than the continuous friendship/interaction with you (serious cases like life/death scenarios might be exempted).

budaatum:
Actually, it was "from a place of entitlement and arrogance". He insulted me when I said no because I did not trust him due to something he had done in the past. And you and I both know that the girl who called you had "no romantic interest in you" and was only interested in your money, though correct me if you think I am wrong.

Notwithstanding, my issue is with your "girls" generalisation. As I can bet you know many girls who do not behave as this particular one did.

Check topic again. No feel attack because he say some girls not all girls.

Nonsense, all those greetings no be from her heart oo. It will surprise you to know that you are not the only one she called. Dem get many maga wey den wan bill. Honestly they can do better!

zedegit:
Check topic again. No feel attack because he say some girls not all girls.

Read the thread.

Gbadugbakun:
Topic edited to some girls.

Gbadugbakun:
Lack of communication kills love and feelings. Yes there was a time I was crazy about her, but like I said in my first post, she wasn't into me. I was making all the effort and she was barely reciprocating. Even when I stopped reaching out to her, her didn't care because I was the one doing the calling and texting. So she barely even noticed it. She probably had other guys fighting for her attention.

Then out of the blue after 5, years she suddenly reaches out to request for money. Those 5 years gap has killed every feeling I have for her that's why it was so easy for me to block her.

5 years no man married her. wtf

Gbadugbakun:
The man who called you had no romantic interest in you, and the two of you have known each other for decades. His request was made from the perspective of a longstanding friendship, not from a place of entitlement or arrogance. Sometimes, people simply reach out to those they trust, believing they can ask for help without any hidden motives. Not the same with my case.

She called you from entitlement perspective, because she knew, how you so belittled yourself before her, when you were toasting her,and how she kept on ghosting you until you were frustrated out of the game, so, when things go south, she remembers maga still dey somewhere, more so, whenever she rings maga number, he would start prostrate just because maga hears her voice again.


A man who fails to handling woman, by putting himself in superiority position, will continue seeing himself treated like rag by women.