₦airaland Forum

There is a growing perception that men in the UK tend to avoid serious relationships. This might seem true considering the fact that a large percentage of romantic relationships among immigrants hardly end up in marriage. Well, in other climes, that seems to be the case too. Several adult male immigrants have decided to stay single or enter into a ‘partnership system’ with female partners. Some men go the popular celebrity route by having kids with women and never putting a ring on their fingers. In the UK dating pool, there is a common belief that many men aren’t necessarily looking for commitment; they simply want to enjoy the relationship without making it permanent. The relationship market is rumoured to be so messed up that some men don’t even spare married women. The social construct called the ‘Bro Code’ doesn’t seem to apply here anymore.

Let’s dive deep into some reasons why it appears that men in the UK are not interested in serious relationships.

(1) The Economy


The cost of living in the UK is so high that there is the possibility of you going broke 48 hours after your salary is paid. In some cases, the problem is self-inflicted. Most immigrants are obsessed with looking successful. It is all about optics, aesthetics and trends rather than practicality. The common trap is buying expensive cars and renting accommodation in highbrow areas. Inevitably, a man caught in this web tends to work round the clock, with little or no time to build a meaningful relationship with a woman. Also, a serious relationship is seen as an extra financial burden. To cut costs, he targets a woman seeking a short-term relationship.

(2) Financial Commitments

This is directly related to the first point - the economy. African romantic relationships could be expensive for a man. In some cases, it is like adopting an adult child and assuming full parental responsibilities. Some men drown in paying all the bills while the women use their money on expensive hair, clothes, shoes and holiday trips abroad. It becomes even more intense when children come into the picture. You spend more and also have less time to work. Some men are simply not ready to accept such financial responsibilities. Hence, the delay in their willingness to venture into a serious relationship or get married.

(3) Culture

In Africa, marriage is highly cultural. It is mostly another box to tick when a person attains maturity. The same applies to having children. In many cases, there is no deep personal conviction about marriage or having children; it is simply a matter of following the path taken by our predecessors - our parents and the adults around us.

In the UK, the orientation is different. Some people decide not to get married or have children because they don’t see the need. Others find it stressful and expensive to get married and start a family, so they stay away from it. Some immigrant men who were already fence-sitters on this issue have been indirectly influenced by their current environment.

(4) Relationship Risks

It is no secret that some women in the United Kingdom dominate their men. In fact, some men joke that the only symbol of manhood they have left is what they have between their legs. The man pays a large chunk of the household bills, does household chores, takes care of the children, yet receives little or no appreciation from the woman. Some women have also given their men very limited access to the ‘Strait of Hormuz’. Some men are regularly battered verbally and, in some cases, physically. It gets worse when the woman sponsored your visa to the country. A man’s life could be one false allegation away from being turned upside down. Whether these fears are justified or exaggerated is open to debate, but many men have studied the experiences of others and decided not to take serious relationships lightly.

(5) The Demography Problem

The UK is a white-dominated country where integration isn’t as strong as many expected. Interracial relationships are still relatively limited. Most people are more comfortable with people from their own ethnic groups. The Nigerian dating market is quite small. A large percentage of Nigerians in the UK are already married and not open to serious relationships. Some others are divorced and not interested in another round of relationship-related trauma.

The few who are young and single are either not mature enough or have unrealistic expectations and the social media orientation of ‘following, unfollowing and blocking’ their way through relationships. They also want to explore the world and experience its beauty - something they believe a serious relationship or marriage might hamper.

Risk assessment has become a core aspect of modern life. Reasonable people now weigh the pros and cons before making major decisions. If a decision could cost an arm and a leg without any guaranteed return on investment, it is expected that it becomes less appealing. The uncertainties surrounding romantic relationships might account for why some men in the UK are avoiding serious commitments.

The list isn’t exhaustive. Feel free to add yours, and let’s have a robust conversation.

sandra2025:
I'm open to a relationship.

Gadaffi9ja:
Give me ur digit. Let's chat and see

sandra2025:
I'm open to a relationship.

sandra2025:
I'm open to a relationship.

trytillmake:
I love this from Nairaland girls, girl u rock... U might just get yr missing rib here..

Meanwhile hope the picture u put for yr Dp is the real u, make Men no go disappoint o .

Wishing u success

LordLicifer:
Really? Are you sure? Are you really sure

Gadaffi9ja:
Give me ur digit. Let's chat and see

sandra2025:
Yes, I'm very sure.
Your profile name is funny. Lol