₦airaland Forum

Most men breathe a sigh of relief when the arguing stops. They read the silence as resolution. Peace, finally. In reality, silence from a woman is rarely neutral.

A woman who is still invested argues. She pushes, she explains herself repeatedly, she gets frustrated because the outcome still matters enough to fight for. Frustration is a sign of attachment.

Silence from a woman who used to talk is not peace. It is a verdict she has not announced yet. By the time she stops arguing, she has usually stopped caring about winning the argument, because she has already started planning her exit.

Has she stopped sharing the small things?
Has she stopped initiating contact the way she used to?
Has warmth been replaced by politeness? Politeness from someone who was once warm is the coldest signal a relationship can send.

By the time a woman tells you she is done, she has usually been done for a while. The silence was the announcement.

At what point did you realize silence from a woman meant something had already ended?

Not all of us are like that, I personally don't like avoidable face to face arguments because not only do I hate unnecessary noise, I also hate the idea of always having to explain myself to the same person with the intention of trying to convince them otherwise... I'm only a keyboard warrior on online debates like nairaland...

If I tell you something for the first time it falls on deaf ears, then I remind you again for the second time and you still prove to be stubborn about it, it's fine, I'll kindly keep quiet and take action in silence... I don't repeat myself thrice because even I myself can also be stubborn and on top of that, I hate begging... I prefer actions than words.

You know who you are and what you want. Explaining oneself sometimes can be draining.

Samantha125:
Not all of us are like that, I personally don't like avoidable face to face arguments because not only do I hate unnecessary noise, I also hate the idea of always having to explain myself to the same person with the intention of trying to convince them otherwise... I'm only a keyboard warrior on online debates like nairaland...

If I tell you something for the first time it falls on deaf ears, then I remind you again for the second time and you still prove to be stubborn about it, it's fine, I'll kindly keep quiet and take action in silence... I don't repeat myself thrice because even I myself can also be stubborn and on top of that, I hate begging... I prefer actions than words.

It is as if you took the words right out of my mouth.

It's really an honour to speak your mind. Wishing you good luck in all your endeavours.

My girlfriend has been silent for days now.Well as for me and at this point of my life,I don't think have to force anyone to stay in my life.
If she doesn't want to stay she can leave.I have let go of people I love and am attached to in my life before and this won't be new to me as well

Samantha125:
Not all of us are like that, I personally don't like avoidable face to face arguments because not only do I hate unnecessary noise, I also hate the idea of always having to explain myself to the same person with the intention of trying to convince them otherwise... I'm only a keyboard warrior on online debates like nairaland...

If I tell you something for the first time it falls on deaf ears, then I remind you again for the second time and you still prove to be stubborn about it, it's fine, I'll kindly keep quiet and take action in silence... I don't repeat myself thrice because even I myself can also be stubborn and on top of that, I hate begging... I prefer actions than words.

My gf has been quiet around me for like two days now and and counting over an issue I cautioned her about.Even though I knew I was harsh,I have tried pulling her closer but she has been distancing herself.
Well, I won't force anyone to stay in my life anymore because I have done of it before.Even despite being pure hearted with people.
I am putting myself first henceforth.This is what life has always wanted to teach me time after time.Have had enough already

Did you at least acknowledge your harshness and apologize?

Solofresh2:
My gf has been quiet around me for like two days now and and counting over an issue I cautioned her about.Even though I knew I was harsh,I have tried pulling her closer but she has been distancing herself.
Well, I won't force anyone to stay in my life anymore because I have done of it before.Even despite being pure hearted with people.
I am putting myself first henceforth.This is what life has always wanted to teach me time after time.Have had enough already

Samantha125:
Did you at least acknowledge your harshness and apologize?

I acknowledge it.But didn't apologized though

Apologising is very important in a relationship or marriage because it helps couples move past conflicts and rebuild trust between them.

I'd probably also continue giving you that silent treatment if you don't apologize because I always own up and apologize where I feel that I was wrong or for the sake of peace.

Solofresh2:
I acknowledge it.But didn't apologized though

Samantha125:
Apologising is very important in a relationship or marriage because it helps couples move past conflicts and rebuild trust between them.

I'd probably also continue giving you that silent treatment if you don't apologize because I always own up and apologize where I feel that I was wrong or for the sake of peace.

let me tell you what happened.I lent her 20k of whichshe claimed she would return on her pay day.She refused to return it.I decided to ask about it because I knew if she didn't pay that day, she will probably keep procastinating it.So had to ask her and it was during the conversation I became harsh.She return the money and have been acting cold since then.
This morning now she left without even informing me of leaving.I knew the coldness is still there
Should I be the one apologizing again,even after I acknowledge to her that I was harsh?

You can apologize for being harsh, but not necessarily for demanding your money back since she had agreed to pay you back.

In my opinion, I don't think couples who are planning on building a future together should be lending each other things like money, it should rather come as a gift to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Solofresh2:
let me tell you what happened.I lent her 20k of whichshe claimed she would return on her pay day.She refused to return it.I decided to ask about it because I knew if she didn't pay that day, she will probably keep procastinating it.So had to ask her and it was during the conversation I became harsh.She return the money and have been acting cold since then.
This morning now she left without even informing me of leaving.I knew the coldness is still there
Should I be the one apologizing again,even after I acknowledge to her that I was harsh?

Samantha125:
You can apologize for being harsh, but not necessarily for demanding your money back since she had agreed to pay you back.

In my opinion, I don't think couples who are planning on building a future together should be lending each other things like money, it should rather come as a gift to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Exactly what i told her.I told her that she should have asked.Instead of telling me to borrow her.I will give what I can.
Well it's fine. I will apologize to her.We will have a good bedtime anytime she comes around again
I believe we will be fine
I just like the fact that, she likes me before we started dating.

So when are you planning on doing the needful so that I can start preparing my traveling documents to come and chop the famous jollof rice?

Solofresh2:
Exactly what i told her.I told her that she should have asked.Instead of telling me to borrow her.I will give what I can.
Well it's fine. I will apologize to her.We will have a good bedtime anytime she comes around again
I believe we will be fine
I just like the fact that, she likes me before we started dating.

Samantha125:
So when are you planning on doing the needful so that I can start preparing my traveling documents to come and chop the famous jollof rice?

When it's time we will let you know

Okay...😌😌😌

Solofresh2:
When it's time we will let you know

If my girl gives me the silent treatment,that's her own damn problem cause I won't bulge...At this point in life, relationship goes two ways and not one way...