₦airaland Forum

Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?

I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.

I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.

Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.

I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.

I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.

For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.

Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.

I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.

She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.

Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.

I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.

But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.

She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.

For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.

I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.

Here lies the rub.

Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.

But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.

I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.

I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?

Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.

So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.

This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.

Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.

But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.

I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.

Brothers, what will you advise a brother?
Am I being unreasonable?
Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?

All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome.
T for grateful.

Mtcheww.

Why is discrimination written all over your post?

The lady should leave you, you don't deserve her.

I understand ur frustration honestly especially when u happen to be a man that has a particular taste in women. Its not gonna be a decision that's easy though.

On the bright side, all ur kids will be AS and they can as nature favors them meet someone whose genotype would be AA. The only scary challenge is solidly standing by ur wife if the health episodes should arise.

She only lied cos she was scared of losing the one good thing that she may have come across in a long while. U would do same if u r being honest with urself.

In all, ask God for direction, He knows all.

ManLikeL:
Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?

I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.

I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.

Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.

I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.

I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.

For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.

Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.

I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.

She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.

Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.

I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.

But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.

She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.

For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.

I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.

Here lies the rub.

Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.

But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.

I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.

I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?

Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.

So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.

This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.

Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.

But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.

I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.

Brothers, what will you advise a brother?
Am I being unreasonable?
Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?

All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome.
T for grateful.

If she's worth it... Go for it!!!

You better don’t sleep with her if you know you aren’t going to marry her. Don’t perish!

SS lives matter.
She's just a victim of her parents' ignorance.
AA is the only genotype that can help, not like she has other options.

Hehe... Isn't it funny how all of the comments above are calling on OP to take on the Messiah-complex and save the lady in question by marriage- you're setting up OP to take a very important decision based on sentiments or pity.. won't be fair to the lady, and won't be fair to OP.

Now, Mr. OP. Here's my two "scents" for you.

1. Sometimes, when we meet people we may take just one fact about them to just feed into our bias/stereotypes and judge them.

Yes, she may have been dishonest to have claimed being AS at the beginning. But since it's a conversation that came up, she should have been honest irrespective of how you reacted to the idea of being with an SS person. That's her genotype, nothing can change it. But there's someone who will be willing to drop their other terms and conditions and love her for the parts of her life that she can control - her personality and character.

If you know that's not you, don't sell her a dream of accepting her all, flaws and perfection because of pity.

2. People with SS are one of the strongest people in this world - they fight things that they had no choice in, many of them stay strong even till the expected life span of the average person; but most times the people who are not strong enough are those people who necessity will fall upon to care for them through tough times.

Now, with proper care and a monitored lifestyle she'll stay pretty healthy for a long time, but health Crisis are an inevitable part of being SS - will you be strong enough for her without hating her for it?

If your plans also involve the dream of living into old age with your partner, you know that's not guaranteed right? I mean it's not even guaranteed that you'll outlive her sef.

3. Calling off the "no sex before marriage" agreement.

You're about to make the worst mistake ever. Don't put her into a situation where she feels she needs to earn your pity just because she's an SS lady... she'll agree, because she needs you, but not you per say, she needs your genotype, atleast to procreate - your union will be very dry afterwards.

I would like you to have a conversation with her about that claim of vehginiti again. I personally have a big heart for trusting people, even blindly sef. But if I catch you in one lie, I'll not trust anything you've said to me before. If AS status was claimed because you outburst on SS; was vehginiti also claimed? - just thinking out loud.


--_----_-_-_-------
There's no soulmate anywhere.
AA, AS, SS all of us fall sick, all of us can die anytime.

You'll not find any lady that meets your fairytale specs.

If you want to make it work with her, please go for it. BUT BOTH OF YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO, AND PLAN YOUR LIFESTYLE AROUND KEEPING HER HEALTHY TOO.

Stephen0mozzy:
Now, Mr. OP. Here's my two "scents" for you.

1. Sometimes, when we meet people we may take just one fact about them to just feed into our bias/stereotypes and judge them.

Yes, she may have been dishonest to have claimed being AS at the beginning. But since it's a conversation that came up, she should have been honest irrespective of how you reacted to the idea of being with an SS person. That's her genotype, nothing can change it. But there's someone who will be willing to drop their other terms and conditions and love her for the parts of her life that she can control - her personality and character.

If you know that's not you, don't sell her a dream of accepting her all, flaws and perfection because of pity.

2. People with SS are one of the strongest people in this world - they fight things that they had no choice in, many of them stay strong even till the expected life span of the average person; but most times the people who are not strong enough are those people who necessity will fall upon to care for them through tough times.

Now, with proper care and a monitored lifestyle she'll stay pretty healthy for a long time, but health Crisis are an inevitable part of being SS - will you be strong enough for her without hating her for it?

If your plans also involve the dream of living into old age with your partner, you know that's not guaranteed right? I mean it's not even guaranteed that you'll outlive her sef.

3. Calling off the "no sex before marriage" agreement.

You're about to make the worst mistake ever. Don't put her into a situation where she feels she needs to earn your pity just because she's an SS lady... she'll agree, because she needs you, but not you per say, she needs your genotype, atleast to procreate - your union will be very dry afterwards.

I would like you to have a conversation with her about that claim of vehginiti again. I personally have a big heart for trusting people, even blindly sef. But if I catch you in one lie, I'll not trust anything you've said to me before. If AS status was claimed because you outburst on SS; was vehginiti also claimed? - just thinking out loud.


--_----_-_-_-------
There's no soulmate anywhere.
AA, AS, SS all of us fall sick, all of us can die anytime.

You'll not find any lady that meets your fairytale specs.

If you want to make it work with her, please go for it. BUT BOTH OF YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO, AND PLAN YOUR LIFESTYLE AROUND KEEPING HER HEALTHY TOO.

Thank you for your input brother.
First off, she's a virgin, that's been confirmed. She's letting go her virginity to possibly make the relationship work. But yeah, she's a virgin.

Secondly, where this becomes interesting is that I'm actually a very homely and caring person. Sincerely speaking and I want to believe it's one of the reasons she sees compatibility.
I could be overly caring not just to her, it's just my way of life.

If you ask any of my siblings to describe me, it's definitely will be centered on being excessively caring, patience and sympathetic.
Although I don't know if same can be said about dealing with SS crisis sha.


I won't call what we share pity though.
Sincerely so. I'm genuinely into her..
And for the first time in my life, I am scared of losing someone and believe me, I've met quite a number of souls.
This is unusual.

DonEd:
I understand ur frustration honestly especially when u happen to be a man that has a particular taste in women. Its not gonna be a decision that's easy though.

On the bright side, all ur kids will be AS and they can as nature favors them meet someone whose genotype would be AA. The only scary challenge is solidly standing by ur wife if the health episodes should arise.

She only lied cos she was scared of losing the one good thing that she may have come across in a long while. U would do same if u r being honest with urself.

In all, ask God for direction, He knows all.

Thank you chief for your input.

When you say ask God for direction, what does that mean please?

DonEd:
I understand ur frustration honestly especially when u happen to be a man that has a particular taste in women. Its not gonna be a decision that's easy though.

On the bright side, all ur kids will be AS and they can as nature favors them meet someone whose genotype would be AA. The only scary challenge is solidly standing by ur wife if the health episodes should arise.

She only lied cos she was scared of losing the one good thing that she may have come across in a long while. U would do same if u r being honest with urself.

In all, ask God for direction, He knows all.

Thank you chief for your input.

When you say ask God for direction, what does that mean please?
Because I won’t even call myself a believer.

Egoat:
Mtcheww.

Why is discrimination written all over your post?

The lady should leave you, you don't deserve her.

There is no discrimination anywhere brother. I just wanted to maintain balance so people would understand where I'm coming from.
I have an aunt who remained unmarried till today because the one serious relationship she was in for long ended because the man was AS while she's AS too. They were so in love that they left what should have been discussed at first for later. The relationship crashed and she didn't recover from it till today.
Growing up hearing her story even as a kid has kind of implanted that consciousness in our respective minds.
You can't blame me for being conscious.

ManLikeL:
1. ....She's letting go her virginity to possibly make the relationship work. But yeah, she's a virgin.


2. ...Although I don't know if same can be said about dealing with SS crisis sha.


3. ...I won't call what we share pity though.

4. ...Sincerely so. I'm genuinely into her..
And for the first time in my life, I am scared of losing someone and believe me, I've met quite a number of souls.
This is unusual.

1. Don't let her do it - you're already getting your needs satisfied outside (which I don't approve sha) but don't let her think she has to earn your love in exchange for what I believe she's kept for marriage, to secure a relationship.

2. That's where you guys should have a conversation. You can both plan your lives from now on to minimize the severity of her health crisis - remember, anybody can have health issues, even the so called AA.

3. Hehe, don't mind me, yes, it's not pity, but don't keep her because of just how she makes you feel now that everything is still rosey and you're not full responsible for her - emotionally and otherwise. What you have now that you know that she's SS and going with her after due diligence, will be called love. But to go on because she was willing to sacrifice her vehginiti or how she'll feel, that'll be pity.

4. Hope you know that, there are MANY PEOPLE who have AA and AS girlfriends and can't say this same thing about them? I think you found a good girl.... I just hope she's not being a good girl because of her SS status. Also I hope she's not being a good girl only because you're a good guy.

If you know it's genuine, just do your due diligence - health profile/medical history of crisis and make your decision.

The most that the rest of us here can do is help you see the full picture. But you're the one to reap the rewards or risks.

Stephen0mozzy:
1. Don't let her do it - you're already getting your needs satisfied outside (which I don't approve sha) but don't let her think she has to earn your love in exchange for what I believe she's kept for marriage, to secure a relationship.

2. That's where you guys should have a conversation. You can both plan your lives from now on to minimize the severity of her health crisis - remember, anybody can have health issues, even the so called AA.

3. Hehe, don't mind me, yes, it's not pity, but don't keep her because of just how she makes you feel now that everything is still rosey and you're not full responsible for her - emotionally and otherwise. What you have now that you know that she's SS and going with her after due diligence, will be called love. But to go on because she was willing to sacrifice her vehginiti or how she'll feel, that'll be pity.

4. Hope you know that, there are MANY PEOPLE who have AA and AS girlfriends and can't say this same thing about them? I think you found a good girl.... I just hope she's not being a good girl because of her SS status. Also I hope she's not being a good girl only because you're a good guy.

If you know it's genuine, just do your due diligence - health profile/medical history of crisis and make your decision.

The most that the rest of us here can do is help you see the full picture. But you're the one to reap the rewards or risks.

You're a sage, chief.
Thank you so much your words of wisdom.

So because she is ss you decided to call off the "no sex before marriage" - correct?


Don't take advantage of that woman Bros.


You already stated your tendency to make mountains out of mole hills and I think this is one of those occasions.


Her genotype is a sensitive situation to her and maybe she would have opened up to you immediately about it if not for your reaction to the question she asked you... she eventually opened up to you.


The one thing you should have been worried about which is coping with her health and sickle cell situation you aren't even focused on but getting worried about minor issues of which technically I can't even call that a lie.



:::

I can bet my soul that you will end up only taking advantage of her and won't eventually settle down with her.
You already made your decision long before you met her, and even after you met her, you still didn't hide your disdain. What do you think will eventually change?
Na very familiar format.
Then again, if you were hoping for an AS child, what were you going to do with an AS person?
Because there is a 25% possibility of having an AS child per time.
What gives?

ManLikeL:
Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?

I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.

I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.

Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.

I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.

I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.

For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.

Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.

I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.

She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.

Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.

I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.

But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.

She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.

For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.

I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.

Here lies the rub.

Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.

But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.

I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.

I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?

Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.

So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.

This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.

Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.

But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.

I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.

Brothers, what will you advise a brother?
Am I being unreasonable?
Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?

All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome.
T for grateful.

Well if she's on NL,the she should know she just opened a whole lot of dicking for herself . Anyway, on a serious note, I will advice you consult a medical practitioner for advice, and if it's okay with you, then go ahead and be happy together because you both deserve maximum happiness. Iree oooo

ManLikeL:
Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?

I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.

I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.

Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.

I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.

I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.

For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.

Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.

I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.

She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.

Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.

I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.

But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.

She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.

For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.

I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.

Here lies the rub.

Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.

But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.

I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.

I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?

Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.

So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.

This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.

Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.

But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.

I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.

Brothers, what will you advise a brother?
Am I being unreasonable?
Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?

All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome.
T for grateful.

Immediately I read...you,first class....she, first class, I stopped reading the barrage of lies to follow......!

Babaibeji2020:
Immediately I read...you,first class....she, first class, I stopped reading the barrage of lies to follow......!

Like lmfao.

Babaibeji2020:
Immediately I read...you,first class....she, first class, I stopped reading the barrage of lies to follow......!

Wetin I wan gain from a faceless forum if I lie?
Sheun dey pay us money?

This is part of the reason why life is a misery.

our living longer in life is not determined by our genotype people die everyday healthy or not only God knows the perfect time for everyone.

I'm a very straight forward guy I don't take decision based on pity if you're going to chose anyone in life chose them based on genuine love and not situations. so bro if you know you can't deal at the long run don't do it. I can categorically tell you for free here and now most people tell you to marry her won't do it.

I've a family member that is an SS genotype the crisis are real the question is can you cope without getting tired like someone stated up there without getting fraustrated? lets assume financially you can, can you cope psychologically, mentally and otherwise? these are deep questions to ask yourself for a long ride before making any decision.

And please don't sleep with her and dump her all she needs is genuine care and love is just so unfortunate it be fell her.

ManLikeL:
There is no discrimination anywhere brother. I just wanted to maintain balance so people would understand where I'm coming from.
I have an aunt who remained unmarried till today because the one serious relationship she was in for long ended because the man was AS while she's AS too. They were so in love that they left what should have been discussed at first for later. The relationship crashed and she didn't recover from it till today.
Growing up hearing her story even as a kid has kind of implanted that consciousness in our respective minds.
You can't blame me for being conscious.

So? SS shouldn't get married again? And if they should, what is the most compatible genotype? Baba, rest.

tunize:
This is part of the reason why life is a misery.

our living longer in life is not determined by our genotype people die everyday healthy or not only God knows the perfect time for everyone.

I'm a very straight forward guy I don't take decision based on pity if going to chose anyone in life chose them based on genuine love and not situations. so bro if you know you can't deal at the long run don't do it. I can categorically tell you for free here and now most people tell you to marry her won't do it.

I've a family member that is an SS genotype the crisis are real the question is can you cope without getting tired like someone stated up there without getting fraustrated? lets assume financially you can, can you cope psychologically, mentally and otherwise? these are deep questions to ask yourself for a long ride before making any decision.

And please don't sleep with her and dump her all she needs is genuine care and love is just so unfortunate it be fell her.

The last paragraph is well noted.
Thank you brother, for your input.

Egoat:
So? SS shouldn't get married again? And if they should, what is the most compatible genotype? Baba, rest.

At this point, you don't seem to have anything to give me.

DonEd:
I understand ur frustration honestly especially when u happen to be a man that has a particular taste in women. Its not gonna be a decision that's easy though.

On the bright side, all ur kids will be AS and they can as nature favors them meet someone whose genotype would be AA. The only scary challenge is solidly standing by ur wife if the health episodes should arise.

She only lied cos she was scared of losing the one good thing that she may have come across in a long while. U would do same if u r being honest with urself.

In all, ask God for direction, He knows all.

It is not a matter of if the health episode should rise!
It will sure arise!

ManLikeL:
The last paragraph is well noted.
Thank you brother, for your input.

Respect.

The day I discover my partner is on Nairaland, it is over between us from that day.


Because where else will I go and discuss her like this openly and she won't find out

Acceptable, obviously! 😉 AcadaWriter

ManLikeL:
Brothers, What Will You Advise a Brother?

I'm currently confused about my relationship journey.

I haven't really been the type to consider a serious relationship for a while now. It's just been a couple of sex partners here and there. We do it safely and keep things on a superficial level.

Now, recently, there have been demands and questions here and there about starting a family, especially considering that my immediate junior brother is done having children. His lastborn will be three next month, while the lastborn of my family is also done having kids. Her firstborn is already 10 years old.

I seem to be the only odd one out in this regard, even though I'm arguably more financially settled than all of them. Not to brag, please; I'm just trying to paint a clearer picture of the situation.

I clocked 35 in May, and it was as if everyone in the universe agreed to centre their birthday wishes around God providing me with a wife and family. Ever since then, the reminders from my folks have been pretty loud, persistent, and disturbing.

For the first time in years, I decided to seek a proper relationship, unlike my usual superficial flings and sexcapades.

Come to think of it, I can barely go three days without proper sex. This detail should be useful later.

I met this very beautiful babe from my state. She's 27, a first-class graduate (I am too, actually), and I'm naturally attracted to every facet of intelligence, especially communicative and academic intelligence. She has both, and I'm superbly into her.

She can hold a very reasonable conversation without leaving you mentally exhausted. She's become an integral part of my life, and at this point, I think it's safe to say I'm deeply attracted to her and genuinely like her.

Worthy of note is the fact that I've enjoyed a very unusual level of peace with her over the past three months, which is absolutely unlike me.

I get correct anger ish, although I've learnt to manage it well. I'm not a violent person, but I pick offences easily, and most times, I walk away when provocations get too loud. More often than not, my walking away is goodbye. I'm so good at it.

But since meeting this babe, we've not had any ugly disagreements over these past few months. She's very calm, calculated, and receptive. These qualities have made me like her even more.

She has a reasonably good-paying job, but that's not even an issue. I earn well enough to cater for everything, but she's also financially independent. Gifting seems to be her thing, too, as she's spent quite a sum on gifts for me without expecting anything in return. I haven't even matched up to a quarter of what she's spent on gifting though.

For the first time in my life, I agreed to a no-sex-before-marriage relationship because she's a virgin.

I still dey run my games on a low, so this didn't really look like an ish.

Here lies the rub.

Just last week, she said she had a confession to make, and she opened up about being SS. Mind you, I'm AA, so, by the usual norms, this shouldn't be an issue.

But during one of our previous conversations, she had claimed to be AS and asked if I would be comfortable settling down with someone who was SS. I almost freaked out.

I'm sorry, but I've always wanted to have AA kids. With apologies to those affected, I've always believed that if I ever have children, I owe them the best possible chances at life, including heightened intelligence, beauty, and a sound genotype. I believe I have a reasonable degree of control over who complements my genes to bring these qualities to fruition.

I'm honestly very good-looking and intelligent, so why not get someone who possesses these qualities, too?

Call it insipid or vapid, but I could swear that life has already dealt some people heavy blows by limiting their options in their quest for a future partner. Unlike those of us with AA genotypes, who can consider partners across all the common genotypes without the same risk of having children with sickle cell disease, they don't always have that freedom. I wanted my kids to have that freedom and an avalanche of options, too.

So, when she asked me that question, I sincerely freaked out and couldn't hide my disdain.

This, in turn, stopped her from opening up until last week, when she could no longer hide it.

Funnily enough, I already like her to the point where I don't mind if she's SS, BB, or iPhone.

But the fact that she lied is what actually turned out to be my ish. She's been a very straightforward person so far, and this particular issue has upset our fashioned norms.

I proposed that the no-sex-before-marriage agreement should be off if we were going to be together, and she agreed. But now, I'm beginning to think it might look as though I'm trying to take advantage of her at this point.

Brothers, what will you advise a brother?
Am I being unreasonable?
Considering the emotional supports people with SS need, how challenging can it be? What is the possibility that she lives long enough?

All insults, curses, and whatever are welcome.
T for grateful.

You're a fool of you let this get in the way of whatever you think you're building with this lady. Na nonsense full dating market now, mind you.