₦airaland Forum

My wahala is this..

Normally after a certain age the pressure to get married gets worse from Family here in Nigeria.

My business crashed as the economy tanked annd due to a few poor decisions of mine. So, I switched over to a new career. It’ll take me 3 years to get the certification and an extra 2 years for work experience before I go fit use am japa.

I’m on my third year now. So here’s the thing, Mumsy traveled abroad for omugwo and met my sister’s friend who’s a nurse.

According to her, the girl kind and is fun to be with. She told her about me and gave me her number. My in-law also linked me to another babe abroad

The thing is this — I don’t feel the vibe when talking to first one. It’s more like I’m the one reaching out always to her. She’s always in a rush to hang up and I can tell she’s not feeling it as well (at the moment)

They’re both in their late 20s. I’m in my late 30s

I had to cut off comms as i didn’t see how we would develop any form of romantic feelings for each other across 7 seas and 7 mountains.

Besides. My guys abroad all come down to Nigeria to pick a wife vs marrying the ones there (except for a few who have been abroad since childhood)

They say things like, “9ja women eye done tear for here”

“Us wey dey abroad no Dey too date them except it’s for nacks only. It’s better you make money then come home and get married”


Phew!
I’m at a crossroad here becos:

1. The 2nd girl has been traditionally married before (though that didn’t work out) and she says she’s not a traditional woman who would be at home all day to Carter for her man.

2. I don’t see the chances of me stringing her along over a distance for a long period of time and yet maintaining the same level of high interest till I’m done with my work experience. Assuming i had a year to go and then got introduced to them it would have been better. That way, I only have a short time left before the chance of being together

3. Thinking about what my friends abroad say there is some truth to it. Why marry someone who has more money and experience than you? Someone who is already settled in a country where I hope to live in and is well travelled when I can chill, take a little while and get there before making my choice?

It feels like I’m coming from a position of disadvantage (although my family say they made it clear to the girls I’m in school for a certification now)

4. Both of them aren’t beautiful. One no even get nyash and I feel like I will definitely cheat on her. The other one get body small but she no fine but her body done de fat. She get Christian mother underarm fat deposits that jiggles when she raises her arm.

All the girls I done ever date dey fine. If you no fine I no dey even see you before i go begin check if you get character.

But then, on the flip side, if things work out I could skip the mandatory 2 year work and travel out after the 3 year certification period.


In all of this l feel like my main issue is to get paid.

Few years back, when business was booming I never had these problems. Nigeria plays us differently but then what do you think? 🤔


Anyone ever been in such dilemma?

I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

CandyOps:
My wahala is this..

Normally after a certain age the pressure to get married gets worse from Family here in Nigeria.

My business crashed as the economy tanked annd due to a few poor decisions of mine. So, I switched over to a new career. It’ll take me 3 years to get the certification and an extra 2 years for work experience before I go fit use am japa.

I’m on my third year now. So here’s the thing, Mumsy traveled abroad for omugwo and met my sister’s friend who’s a nurse.

According to her, the girl kind and is fun to be with. She told her about me and gave me her number. My in-law also linked me to another babe abroad

The thing is this — I don’t feel the vibe when talking to first one. It’s more like I’m the one reaching out always to her. She’s always in a rush to hang up and I can tell she’s not feeling it as well (at the moment)

They’re both in their late 20s. I’m in my late 30s

I had to cut off comms as i didn’t see how we would develop any form of romantic feelings for each other across 7 seas and 7 mountains.

Besides. My guys abroad all come down to Nigeria to pick a wife vs marrying the ones there (except for a few who have been abroad since childhood)

They say things like, “9ja women eye done tear for here”

“Us wey dey abroad no Dey too date them except it’s for nacks only. It’s better you make money then come home and get married”


Phew!
I’m at a crossroad here becos:

1. The 2nd girl has been traditionally married before (though that didn’t work out) and she says she’s not a traditional woman who would be at home all day to Carter for her man.

2. I don’t see the chances of me stringing her along over a distance for a long period of time and yet maintaining the same level of high interest till I’m done with my work experience. Assuming i had a year to go and then got introduced to them it would have been better. That way, I only have a short time left before the chance of being together

3. Thinking about what my friends abroad say there is some truth to it. Why marry someone who has more money and experience than you? Someone who is already settled in a country where I hope to live in and is well travelled when I can chill, take a little while and get there before making my choice?

It feels like I’m coming from a position of disadvantage (although my family say they made it clear to the girls I’m in school for a certification now)

4. Both of them aren’t beautiful. One no even get nyash and I feel like I will definitely cheat on her. The other one get body small but she no fine but her body done de fat. She get Christian mother underarm fat deposits that jiggles when she raises her arm.

All the girls I done ever date dey fine. If you no fine I no dey even see you before i go begin check if you get character.

But then, on the flip side, if things work out I could skip the mandatory 2 year work and travel out after the 3 year certification period.


In all of this l feel like my main issue is to get paid.

Few years back, when business was booming I never had these problems. Nigeria plays us differently but then what do you think? 🤔


Anyone ever been in such dilemma?

I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

Follow your heart and not your head... If you are not feeling the connection, let it go!!!

"mumsy"

How a 12 year old would refer to his mother.
How old are you, by the way?

Even if you're above 21, I'm not surprised your "mumsy" had take it upon herself to get a wife for you... because you're still attached to her apron strings.

You may deny it all you want, but her action had a reason...the fact that mummy's pet isn't matured enough and hasn't got the balls to make certain decisions for himself.

Hehehehehe.
Mumsy. SMH

CandyOps:
I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

No carry wetin you no fit put inside mouth dey put near nose

whirlwind7:
"mumsy"

How a 12 year old would refer to his mother.

You are in no position to tell another human how to call his mother especially when he didn't disrespect her.

We all have our various ways and just because you don't call yours MUMSY doesn't make you any bigger, smarter, older or wiser than the next person. As a very worrisome matter of fact, your comment only succeeded in showing the world how rigid, awkward and hollow your sense of relationship must be.

What do you call your mother? nobody is interested in that and no one has the right to correct you as long as you are not being disrespectful to her. Since you claim to be more mature then why put up such a childish and highly insensitive post to make another feel small over how he calls his own mother?

CandyOps:
My wahala is this..

Normally after a certain age the pressure to get married gets worse from Family here in Nigeria.

My business crashed as the economy tanked annd due to a few poor decisions of mine. So, I switched over to a new career. It’ll take me 3 years to get the certification and an extra 2 years for work experience before I go fit use am japa.

I’m on my third year now. So here’s the thing, Mumsy traveled abroad for omugwo and met my sister’s friend who’s a nurse.

According to her, the girl kind and is fun to be with. She told her about me and gave me her number. My in-law also linked me to another babe abroad

The thing is this — I don’t feel the vibe when talking to first one. It’s more like I’m the one reaching out always to her. She’s always in a rush to hang up and I can tell she’s not feeling it as well (at the moment)

They’re both in their late 20s. I’m in my late 30s

I had to cut off comms as i didn’t see how we would develop any form of romantic feelings for each other across 7 seas and 7 mountains.

Besides. My guys abroad all come down to Nigeria to pick a wife vs marrying the ones there (except for a few who have been abroad since childhood)

They say things like, “9ja women eye done tear for here”

“Us wey dey abroad no Dey too date them except it’s for nacks only. It’s better you make money then come home and get married”


Phew!
I’m at a crossroad here becos:

1. The 2nd girl has been traditionally married before (though that didn’t work out) and she says she’s not a traditional woman who would be at home all day to Carter for her man.

2. I don’t see the chances of me stringing her along over a distance for a long period of time and yet maintaining the same level of high interest till I’m done with my work experience. Assuming i had a year to go and then got introduced to them it would have been better. That way, I only have a short time left before the chance of being together

3. Thinking about what my friends abroad say there is some truth to it. Why marry someone who has more money and experience than you? Someone who is already settled in a country where I hope to live in and is well travelled when I can chill, take a little while and get there before making my choice?

It feels like I’m coming from a position of disadvantage (although my family say they made it clear to the girls I’m in school for a certification now)

4. Both of them aren’t beautiful. One no even get nyash and I feel like I will definitely cheat on her. The other one get body small but she no fine but her body done de fat. She get Christian mother underarm fat deposits that jiggles when she raises her arm.

All the girls I done ever date dey fine. If you no fine I no dey even see you before i go begin check if you get character.

But then, on the flip side, if things work out I could skip the mandatory 2 year work and travel out after the 3 year certification period.


In all of this l feel like my main issue is to get paid.

Few years back, when business was booming I never had these problems. Nigeria plays us differently but then what do you think? 🤔


Anyone ever been in such dilemma?

I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.


Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America now through work or via any agent because there is no slot for such right now and you will need to wait for years even with a job offer from a US employer, so forget that side.


The only way for you to migrate to America legally now from Nigeria are:

1.) Marriage to a US citizen or a Green card holder maybe.

2.) Student visa which has become almost impossible now since Trump came into power.


So cancel that mindset that once you finish one kiniko certification, you will be heading to America ASAP, please get real.


Concerning your physical spec in women, no broke man or financially struggling man marries his full spec of a woman, something must be incomplete. The only men that can marry their physical spec 100% are financially successful men and guys born into rich family backgrounds, then entertainment celebrities, so as a financially struggling man, forget about marrying your physical spec, its not gonna work unless you are ready to go to your remote village to find one inexposed, poor but beautiful girl to marry.



Next point I want to address is the fact that once you marry a girl or lady that meet your physical taste, that you will not cheat on her, honestly you sound like a child even though you said you are in your late 30s. Men don't cheat on their wives because their wife is ugly or because she wasn't their spec when they married her. Majority of men that cheat don't know exactly why they cheat, so forget that point because you will be shocked to find out that most men that cheated on their wives married very beautiful and hot women and when you even check, their wives maybe prettier than the lady they cheated with lol.



My final words to you, if any of the ladies are truly interested in getting married to you, I will advice you to take it serious and get married and stop living in fantasy land you are no longer a young boy. If you dare miss this opportunity that is presenting itself to you, you might live to regret it for the rest of your life.



Caveat: if the ladies are not interested or showing seriousness in getting committed and married to you, please drop them and move on with your life.


Meanwhile, don't abandon your business, failure is common to every successful man or woman, most times the number of times you fail usually determine how huge and loud your success will be so dont give up on that business while doing your certification training. Wishing you the best and I pray God guide you

Redflag

whirlwind7:
"mumsy"

How a 12 year old would refer to his mother.
How old are you, by the way?

Even if you're above 21, I'm not surprised your "mumsy" had take it upon herself to get a wife for you... because you're still attached to her apron strings.

You may deny it all you want, but her action had a reason...the fact that mummy's pet isn't matured enough and hasn't got the balls to make certain decisions for himself.

Hehehehehe.
Mumsy. SMH

Not every grew up without their mother's love and affection like you did. Please don't project your insecurities the OP.

²

CandyOps:
My wahala is this..

Normally after a certain age the pressure to get married gets worse from Family here in Nigeria.

My business crashed as the economy tanked annd due to a few poor decisions of mine. So, I switched over to a new career. It’ll take me 3 years to get the certification and an extra 2 years for work experience before I go fit use am japa.

I’m on my third year now. So here’s the thing, Mumsy traveled abroad for omugwo and met my sister’s friend who’s a nurse.

According to her, the girl kind and is fun to be with. She told her about me and gave me her number. My in-law also linked me to another babe abroad

The thing is this — I don’t feel the vibe when talking to first one. It’s more like I’m the one reaching out always to her. She’s always in a rush to hang up and I can tell she’s not feeling it as well (at the moment)

They’re both in their late 20s. I’m in my late 30s

I had to cut off comms as i didn’t see how we would develop any form of romantic feelings for each other across 7 seas and 7 mountains.

Besides. My guys abroad all come down to Nigeria to pick a wife vs marrying the ones there (except for a few who have been abroad since childhood)

They say things like, “9ja women eye done tear for here”

“Us wey dey abroad no Dey too date them except it’s for nacks only. It’s better you make money then come home and get married”


Phew!
I’m at a crossroad here becos:

1. The 2nd girl has been traditionally married before (though that didn’t work out) and she says she’s not a traditional woman who would be at home all day to Carter for her man.

2. I don’t see the chances of me stringing her along over a distance for a long period of time and yet maintaining the same level of high interest till I’m done with my work experience. Assuming i had a year to go and then got introduced to them it would have been better. That way, I only have a short time left before the chance of being together

3. Thinking about what my friends abroad say there is some truth to it. Why marry someone who has more money and experience than you? Someone who is already settled in a country where I hope to live in and is well travelled when I can chill, take a little while and get there before making my choice?

It feels like I’m coming from a position of disadvantage (although my family say they made it clear to the girls I’m in school for a certification now)

4. Both of them aren’t beautiful. One no even get nyash and I feel like I will definitely cheat on her. The other one get body small but she no fine but her body done de fat. She get Christian mother underarm fat deposits that jiggles when she raises her arm.

All the girls I done ever date dey fine. If you no fine I no dey even see you before i go begin check if you get character.

But then, on the flip side, if things work out I could skip the mandatory 2 year work and travel out after the 3 year certification period.


In all of this l feel like my main issue is to get paid.

Few years back, when business was booming I never had these problems. Nigeria plays us differently but then what do you think? 🤔


Anyone ever been in such dilemma?

I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

Just forget these ladies...u are too big to be matchmade..
Find ur woman here....fall in love n japa.. or u japa n find ur kind of woman there...
No sha marry oyinbo wey no go follow u come house oooo esp with the children

franchasng:
To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.


Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America now through work or via any agent because there is no slot for such right now and you will need to wait for years even with a job offer from a US employer, so forget that side.


The only way for you to migrate to America legally now from Nigeria are:

1.) Marriage to a US citizen or a Green card holder maybe.

2.) Student visa which has become almost impossible now since Trump came into power.


So cancel that mindset that once you finish one kiniko certification, you will be heading to America ASAP, please get real.


Concerning your physical spec in women, no broke man or financially struggling man marries his full spec of a woman, something must be incomplete. The only men that can marry their physical spec 100% are financially successful men and guys born into rich family backgrounds, then entertainment celebrities, so as a financially struggling man, forget about marrying your physical spec, its not gonna work unless you are ready to go to your remote village to find one inexposed, poor but beautiful girl to marry.



Next point I want to address is the fact that once you marry a girl or lady that meet your physical taste, that you will not cheat on her, honestly you sound like a child even though you said you are in your late 30s. Men don't cheat on their wives because their wife is ugly or because she wasn't their spec when they married her. Majority of men that cheat don't know exactly why they cheat, so forget that point because you will be shocked to find out that most men that cheated on their wives married very beautiful and hot women and when you even check, their wives maybe prettier than the lady they cheated with lol.



My final words to you, if any of the ladies are truly interested in getting married to you, I will advice you to take it serious and get married and stop living in fantasy land you are no longer a young boy. If you dare miss this opportunity that is presenting itself to you, you might live to regret it for the rest of your life.



Caveat: if the ladies are not interested or showing seriousness in getting committed and married to you, please drop them and move on with your life.


Meanwhile, don't abandon your business, failure is common to every successful man or woman, most times the number of times you fail usually determine how huge and loud your success will be so dont give up on that business while doing your certification training. Wishing you the best and I pray God guide you

I’m jealous of people that have you as friend!! Wisdom dey cry!!! I love your advice!!!

Just hang around, by the time you are done with your certificate course, someone who will sweep off your feet in love will show, don’t force yourself into any relationship.

Don't lead these ladies on if you do not see a future for the relationship

Ultimately, you should choose a virgin who is disciplined, humble, and respects you. An abroad woman's success is not your success. Lest she feels she married down and is doing you a favour, please abort mission and thank me later.
In addition, avoid people's leftovers, create your own story! Nigeria has over 20million fresh undefiled virgins you can choose from. God bless your search.

I think you already know the answer. You're not excited about either woman, you're worried about the distance, and you're comparing them based on what they could offer you. That's not exactly a strong foundation for marriage. Don't waste their time or yours just because the opportunity to relocate looks tempting.

franchasng:
To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.


Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America now through work or via any agent because there is no slot for such right now and you will need to wait for years even with a job offer from a US employer, so forget that side.


The only way for you to migrate to America legally now from Nigeria are:

1.) Marriage to a US citizen or a Green card holder maybe.

2.) Student visa which has become almost impossible now since Trump came into power.


So cancel that mindset that once you finish one kiniko certification, you will be heading to America ASAP, please get real.


Concerning your physical spec in women, no broke man or financially struggling man marries his full spec of a woman, something must be incomplete. The only men that can marry their physical spec 100% are financially successful men and guys born into rich family backgrounds, then entertainment celebrities, so as a financially struggling man, forget about marrying your physical spec, its not gonna work unless you are ready to go to your remote village to find one inexposed, poor but beautiful girl to marry.



Next point I want to address is the fact that once you marry a girl or lady that meet your physical taste, that you will not cheat on her, honestly you sound like a child even though you said you are in your late 30s. Men don't cheat on their wives because their wife is ugly or because she wasn't their spec when they married her. Majority of men that cheat don't know exactly why they cheat, so forget that point because you will be shocked to find out that most men that cheated on their wives married very beautiful and hot women and when you even check, their wives maybe prettier than the lady they cheated with lol.



My final words to you, if any of the ladies are truly interested in getting married to you, I will advice you to take it serious and get married and stop living in fantasy land you are no longer a young boy. If you dare miss this opportunity that is presenting itself to you, you might live to regret it for the rest of your life.



Caveat: if the ladies are not interested or showing seriousness in getting committed and married to you, please drop them and move on with your life.


Meanwhile, don't abandon your business, failure is common to every successful man or woman, most times the number of times you fail usually determine how huge and loud your success will be so dont give up on that business while doing your certification training. Wishing you the best and I pray God guide you

TY for your inputs. That was kind of you.

I’ll have to cherry-pick the inputs u made as I didn’t give enough specifics in my original post for you to make some of the assumptions you typed out.

I can travel out anytime I’m ready. Not necessarily to the US of A.

I’m only considering getting married to one of those ladies not solely due to the ‘pressure’ or because it’s in my top priorities at the moment.. but because it’s more like an avenue to kill 2 birds with one shot.

The gals dem are established already and getting hitched to any of them also cuts down on the 2 year wait for me — I could get there on a spousal visa (if it works out fine) do some other businesses to keep me going while I wait on the 2 yr to elapse.

The dicey part to this setup is the power dynamics here. How does it play out?
I never had a paid job all my life and this certification is the path to my first ever job.

I’m not used to being told what to do because of monetary reasons. I like to think I can walk out of any situation if money was the only connecting factor.

So I’m bothered about ‘that’ dynamic

Or…
on a second thought…

I could dog it out here in 9ja for the two years left & travel out on my own terms, like someone suggested above

Besides, I feel like the gyals dem wouldn’t feel they married down. Remember, they are all in their late 20, plus I be husband material no doubts, and My current babe is 19 plus she’s hot.

I’m the one even marrying down if you start considering the fact that all the girls I’ve dated are hot plus I’m in my prime

So saying it’s like a once in a life time opportunity is a bit of a stretch to me.

I mean, I could always figure my way around here in 9ja while working and still land abroad after the 2 years and make a better choice of woman to settle with.

Nigeria just de whine me based on bar. Normally, wetin wan bring this kin setting?

I was hoping to get inputs from people who have had such experiences or something close to it. I think I’ll just repost this same question on Reddit.

xavier838:
I think you already know the answer. You're not excited about either woman, you're worried about the distance, and you're comparing them based on what they could offer you. That's not exactly a strong foundation for marriage. Don't waste their time or yours just because the opportunity to relocate looks tempting.

Well, according to Mumsy, we don’t have to be in love at first, feelings can grow with time. I’m only concerned with the power dynamics of getting married to someone who is in a better financial position and is based abroad. You get?

I’m also concerned about the possibility of chatting with someone on the phone for a long time and keeping the chemistry going for that long. Babes dem dey lose interest quick once long distance sets in for too long

The setting no too pure for my earphone

CandyOps:
TY for your inputs. That was kind of you.

I’ll have to cherry-pick the inputs u made as I didn’t give enough specifics in my original post for you to make some of the assumptions you typed out.

I can travel out anytime I’m ready. Not necessarily to the US of A.

I’m only considering getting married to one of those ladies not solely due to the ‘pressure’ or because it’s in my top priorities at the moment.. but because it’s more like an avenue to kill 2 birds with one shot.

The gals dem are established already and getting hitched to any of them also cuts down on the 2 year wait for me — I could get there on a spousal visa (if it works out fine) do some other businesses to keep me going while I wait on the 2 yr to elapse.

The dicey part to this setup is the power dynamics here. How does it play out?
I never had a paid job all my life and this certification is the path to my first ever job.

I’m not used to being told what to do because of monetary reasons. I like to think I can walk out of any situation if money was the only connecting factor.

So I’m bothered about ‘that’ dynamic

Or…
on a second thought…

I could dog it out here in 9ja for the two years left & travel out on my own terms, like someone suggested above

Besides, I feel like the gyals dem wouldn’t feel they married down. Remember, they are all in their late 20, plus I be husband material no doubts, and My current babe is 19 plus she’s hot.

I’m the one even marrying down if you start considering the fact that all the girls I’ve dated are hot plus I’m in my prime

So saying it’s like a once in a life time opportunity is a bit of a stretch to me.

I mean, I could always figure my way around here in 9ja while working and still land abroad after the 2 years and make a better choice of woman to settle with.

Nigeria just de whine me based on bar. Normally, wetin wan bring this kin setting?

I was hoping to get inputs from people who have had such experiences or something close to it. I think I’ll just repost this same question on Reddit.

Late 30s is prime? You speak like someone who live in his imagination than reality.

The ladies may be desperate based on age, but that still doesn't make them to marry up. You said they're in a better financial position, so how are they marrying up to you?

whirlwind7:
"mumsy"

How a 12 year old would refer to his mother.
How old are you, by the way?

Even if you're above 21, I'm not surprised your "mumsy" had take it upon herself to get a wife for you... because you're still attached to her apron strings.

You may deny it all you want, but her action had a reason...the fact that mummy's pet isn't matured enough and hasn't got the balls to make certain decisions for himself.

Hehehehehe.
Mumsy. SMH

I am baffled by your ignorant words, like, are you at war with your mum? Or is your mother a Military officer whom you must kneel down before talking to her? These type of people have absolutely no respect or regards for their mother and father

CandyOps:
My wahala is this..

Normally after a certain age the pressure to get married gets worse from Family here in Nigeria.

My business crashed as the economy tanked annd due to a few poor decisions of mine. So, I switched over to a new career. It’ll take me 3 years to get the certification and an extra 2 years for work experience before I go fit use am japa.

I’m on my third year now. So here’s the thing, Mumsy traveled abroad for omugwo and met my sister’s friend who’s a nurse.

According to her, the girl kind and is fun to be with. She told her about me and gave me her number. My in-law also linked me to another babe abroad

The thing is this — I don’t feel the vibe when talking to first one. It’s more like I’m the one reaching out always to her. She’s always in a rush to hang up and I can tell she’s not feeling it as well (at the moment)

They’re both in their late 20s. I’m in my late 30s

I had to cut off comms as i didn’t see how we would develop any form of romantic feelings for each other across 7 seas and 7 mountains.

Besides. My guys abroad all come down to Nigeria to pick a wife vs marrying the ones there (except for a few who have been abroad since childhood)

They say things like, “9ja women eye done tear for here”

“Us wey dey abroad no Dey too date them except it’s for nacks only. It’s better you make money then come home and get married”


Phew!
I’m at a crossroad here becos:

1. The 2nd girl has been traditionally married before (though that didn’t work out) and she says she’s not a traditional woman who would be at home all day to Carter for her man.

2. I don’t see the chances of me stringing her along over a distance for a long period of time and yet maintaining the same level of high interest till I’m done with my work experience. Assuming i had a year to go and then got introduced to them it would have been better. That way, I only have a short time left before the chance of being together

3. Thinking about what my friends abroad say there is some truth to it. Why marry someone who has more money and experience than you? Someone who is already settled in a country where I hope to live in and is well travelled when I can chill, take a little while and get there before making my choice?

It feels like I’m coming from a position of disadvantage (although my family say they made it clear to the girls I’m in school for a certification now)

4. Both of them aren’t beautiful. One no even get nyash and I feel like I will definitely cheat on her. The other one get body small but she no fine but her body done de fat. She get Christian mother underarm fat deposits that jiggles when she raises her arm.

All the girls I done ever date dey fine. If you no fine I no dey even see you before i go begin check if you get character.

But then, on the flip side, if things work out I could skip the mandatory 2 year work and travel out after the 3 year certification period.


In all of this l feel like my main issue is to get paid.

Few years back, when business was booming I never had these problems. Nigeria plays us differently but then what do you think? 🤔


Anyone ever been in such dilemma?

I suppose to chat the 2nd lady up today as she’s free weekends but then to what avail?

I had an experience close to this in 2021. Was in my late 30s, she in her late 20s. She's a nurse, a friend to my sister who's a nurse as well, both in the UK.

My mum and elder bro have met with her in 9ja before she travelled, but because I was in another African country, we were not able to meet.

Mumsy recommended her to me, I told dlmy bro, and he said he never discussed with our mum but was planning on telling me the same thing. My sis said I'm free to give a shot.

She's beautiful, and physically my type, but then, I felt like due to I'm not that buoyant then,she may think I'm coming for her money. I chatted her on Facebook once, she replied well but then, my inner man is not comfortable.

I had my career plans and it was looking like I'm going to drift if ever she agrees and I moved to the UK. My innerman was telling me to go back to 9ja and get married.

I chatted one of my forner students when I facilitated in a higher institution, the chat got smooth and instance immediately. From then on, I stopped all chats with every other girl I was in touch with for possible marriage, and within 6 weeks, I paid the brideprice of that my former student.

In the next 4 months, we did traditional and church wedding. Today, we leaving good and peaceful life in 9ja with 2 soldiers already. My career working out fine for me. We suspended our travel plans until we finish setting up some things here.

In summary, get a girl here and get married before you travel. Even if it means paying only bride price.

My 2 cents.

AllBlack:
You are in no position to tell another human how to call his mother especially when he didn't disrespect her.

We all have our various ways and just because you don't call yours MUMSY doesn't make you any bigger, smarter, older or wiser than the next person.

What do you call your mother? nobody is interested in that. Since you claim to be more mature then why put up such a childish and highly insensitive post to make another feel small over how he calls his own mother?

Don't mind him, guy has never heard of the concept of pet names apparently.

If she is a citizenship just marry her and japa out of the iron furnace

DON'T listen to what anyone says. People are different!

Mk ur mama matchmake,u.s based or scandavian I dey find

franchasng:
To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.


Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America now through work or via any agent because there is no slot for such right now and you will need to wait for years even with a job offer from a US employer, so forget that side.


The only way for you to migrate to America legally now from Nigeria are:

1.) Marriage to a US citizen or a Green card holder maybe.

2.) Student visa which has become almost impossible now since Trump came into power.


So cancel that mindset that once you finish one kiniko certification, you will be heading to America ASAP, please get real.


Concerning your physical spec in women, no broke man or financially struggling man marries his full spec of a woman, something must be incomplete. The only men that can marry their physical spec 100% are financially successful men and guys born into rich family backgrounds, then entertainment celebrities, so as a financially struggling man, forget about marrying your physical spec, its not gonna work unless you are ready to go to your remote village to find one inexposed, poor but beautiful girl to marry.



Next point I want to address is the fact that once you marry a girl or lady that meet your physical taste, that you will not cheat on her, honestly you sound like a child even though you said you are in your late 30s. Men don't cheat on their wives because their wife is ugly or because she wasn't their spec when they married her. Majority of men that cheat don't know exactly why they cheat, so forget that point because you will be shocked to find out that most men that cheated on their wives married very beautiful and hot women and when you even check, their wives maybe prettier than the lady they cheated with lol.



My final words to you, if any of the ladies are truly interested in getting married to you, I will advice you to take it serious and get married and stop living in fantasy land you are no longer a young boy. If you dare miss this opportunity that is presenting itself to you, you might live to regret it for the rest of your life.



Caveat: if the ladies are not interested or showing seriousness in getting committed and married to you, please drop them and move on with your life.


Meanwhile, don't abandon your business, failure is common to every successful man or woman, most times the number of times you fail usually determine how huge and loud your success will be so dont give up on that business while doing your certification training. Wishing you the best and I pray God guide you

Walai, respect to you for this. Op' listen to the wise man.

franchasng:
To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.


Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America now through work or via any agent because there is no slot for such right now and you will need to wait for years even with a job offer from a US employer, so forget that side.


The only way for you to migrate to America legally now from Nigeria are:

1.) Marriage to a US citizen or a Green card holder maybe.

2.) Student visa which has become almost impossible now since Trump came into power.


So cancel that mindset that once you finish one kiniko certification, you will be heading to America ASAP, please get real.


Concerning your physical spec in women, no broke man or financially struggling man marries his full spec of a woman, something must be incomplete. The only men that can marry their physical spec 100% are financially successful men and guys born into rich family backgrounds, then entertainment celebrities, so as a financially struggling man, forget about marrying your physical spec, its not gonna work unless you are ready to go to your remote village to find one inexposed, poor but beautiful girl to marry.



Next point I want to address is the fact that once you marry a girl or lady that meet your physical taste, that you will not cheat on her, honestly you sound like a child even though you said you are in your late 30s. Men don't cheat on their wives because their wife is ugly or because she wasn't their spec when they married her. Majority of men that cheat don't know exactly why they cheat, so forget that point because you will be shocked to find out that most men that cheated on their wives married very beautiful and hot women and when you even check, their wives maybe prettier than the lady they cheated with lol.



My final words to you, if any of the ladies are truly interested in getting married to you, I will advice you to take it serious and get married and stop living in fantasy land you are no longer a young boy. If you dare miss this opportunity that is presenting itself to you, you might live to regret it for the rest of your life.



Caveat: if the ladies are not interested or showing seriousness in getting committed and married to you, please drop them and move on with your life.


Meanwhile, don't abandon your business, failure is common to every successful man or woman, most times the number of times you fail usually determine how huge and loud your success will be so dont give up on that business while doing your certification training. Wishing you the best and I pray God guide you

A bottle of hero for you bro..u killed it all in every ramification...

Now ,I don't have nothing to say to him again..

We need more of ur comment on many topics in the comment section..

I will begin to follow u immidiately, nairaland, twitter, Instagram ,everywhere..u have a think cap and of course the African grey hair...

Thanks bro

workchopNG:
I had an experience close to this in 2021. Was in my late 30s, she in her late 20s. She's a nurse, a friend to my sister who's a nurse as well, both in the UK.

My mum and elder bro have met with her in 9ja before she travelled, but because I was in another African country, we were not able to meet.

Mumsy recommended her to me, I told dlmy bro, and he said he never discussed with our mum but was planning on telling me the same thing. My sis said I'm free to give a shot.

She's beautiful, and physically my type, but then, I felt like due to I'm not that buoyant then,she may think I'm coming for her money. I chatted her on Facebook once, she replied well but then, my inner man is not comfortable.

I had my career plans and it was looking like I'm going to drift if ever she agrees and I moved to the UK. My innerman was telling me to go back to 9ja and get married.

I chatted one of my forner students when I facilitated in a higher institution, the chat got smooth and instance immediately. From then on, I stopped all chats with every other girl I was in touch with for possible marriage, and within 6 weeks, I paid the brideprice of that my former student.

In the next 4 months, we did traditional and church wedding. Today, we leaving good and peaceful life in 9ja with 2 soldiers already. My career working out fine for me. We suspended our travel plans until we finish setting up some things here.

In summary, get a girl here and get married before you travel. Even if it means paying only bride price.

My 2 cents.

Ty. That was thoughtful of you

I see you made emphasis on your career working out fine for you. That’s my bone of contention right there. I guess we’ll never know what lies beyond the paths we didn’t take. A calculated leap of faith is what it all is in the end

MrPresident1:
If she is a citizenship just marry her and japa out of the iron furnace

No person can be a citizenship tho...


🥵

franchasng:
To start with, no certification right now can take you to America from Nigeria.

Even if you are a registered nurse in Nigeria with BSc and have passed Nclex-rn and your English test, you cannot migrate to America

bigpicture001:
A bottle of hero for you bro..u killed it all in every ramification...

Now ,I don't have nothing to say to him again..

We need more of ur comment on many topics in the comment section..

I will begin to follow u immidiately, nairaland, twitter, Instagram ,everywhere..u have a think cap and of course the African grey hair...

Thanks bro

True except in two respects:
1) America's criteria is always changing. Even Trump has softened his immigration stance after massive midterm loss.
2) A man always finds a fairly attractive NEW woman more SEXUALLY attractive than the beauty queen he has at home

I won't lie to you. This won't end well bro. The relationship won't go well, let alone marrying any of them.

That one that is always in rush, strike her out. That one won't even have your time let alone build any romantic relationship with you. That's out of the equation.

If the connection is not mutual, don't force it.

dawnomike:
Follow your heart and not your head... If you are not feeling the connection, let it go!!!

Simple. Don't force it. Else you will cheat on anyone you decide to settle with.