₦airaland Forum

I agree with Tayo-D's post.

The summary is this, a couple is considered married, if they go to ANY of the following:

1. The court
2. The church /mosque
3. Traditional institution i.e traditional marriage

Many xtians do the 3 together to fulfill all righteousness but if any couple go to any of the above institutions, they have become husband and wife and therefore have obtained the license to “deal”  forever more.

For people who wants to fulfill all righteousness, they try to perform all ceremonies within one week to reduce the cost i.e go to court on Wednesday/Thursday, traditional wedding on Friday (some even perform the traditional wedding on Saturday morning by 6:30am) and church on Saturday by 10am.  I did the 3 between Thursday and Saturday.

i want u to know that during the wedding ceremony of joseph and mary there was nothing like church service it was a traditional wedding.since u av done court wedding which is legal or no each other family she is ur wife.the church of a thing is a western culture issue.two of u can even go to ur pastor and let him bless ur marriage without even doing the owambe party.u only need his blessing nothing more.

Oh God! Not this "Black" and "White" thingy again!

White wedding = pure

"Black" wedding? = ??

Hi, As someone has rightly said, in the bibical days after exchange of gifts the couples knew each other. Before the coming of christainity how were our people marrying? those that the church dont approve their wedding cos of genotype, different denomination cant they marry thru the traditional way? For those that dont have enough fund to do white wedding wont they marry again I feel if U marry right and let God in to the union U are married and free to do what U want to do.

atutupoyo:
Hi, As someone has rightly said, in the bibical days after exchange of gifts the couples knew each other. Before the coming of christainity how were our people marrying? those that the church don't approve their wedding because of genotype, different denomination can't they marry through the traditional way? For those that don't have enough fund to do white wedding wont they marry again I feel if You marry right and let God in to the union You are married and free to do what You want to do.

Thanks for a great contribution, however the question is,  can a Christian couple today start being intimate after the trado ceremony before a church wedding is done ?

+osisi:
Thanks for a great contribution, however the question is,  can the marriage be consummated after the trado ceremony before a church wedding is done ?

by virtue of Longman83's earlier post i still say no.
It may seem right but as long as many still consider the white wedding sacred before God and man i'd say wait till then.
Your woman's breasts won't run away overnight.

"let not your good be evil spoken of"

davidylan:
by virtue of Longman83's earlier post i still say no.
It may seem right but as long as many still consider the white wedding sacred before God and man i'd say wait till then.
Your woman's breasts won't run away overnight.

"let not your good be evil spoken of"

That is so true.
A Christian doesn't necessarily have to see something in black and white to do it.
We are led primarily by the Holy Spirit.
The Bible says to be mindful so that you don' make others fall by youir eating meat.
So does that mean that in Nigeria they don't chop but if the Nigerians were in America,they could chop,they are afterall married.

David,I pray you remember longman's post when you find the prospective mrs david and leave the package wrapped till the wedding night.
Mrs david will love you for being a self controlled man.

+osisi:
David,I pray you remember longman's post when you find the prospective mrs david and leave the package wrapped till the wedding night.
Mrs david will love you for being a self controlled man.

my sister it wont be easy but by God's grace we will get there. The important thing is to find a missus that is equally like-minded and ready to wait till that special night before unwrapping God's greatest gift to man.

In the US there is nothing like traditional wedding . . . if all you can afford is a small reception (even if na 30mins) or a court wedding then i say go on soun and chop till u quench.
In naija . . . chopping before the white wedding is risky . . . people who wont bother to ask how Isaac married Rebekah will surely talk.

Traditional marriage is marriage. court marriage is marriage. Are there still people that have doubts about that?  

I had my traditional marriage a week before my white wedding. No chopping in that one week oh. (probably due to the multitude that moved in enmasse from the village to attend the wedding). The sleeping arrangements no be am. if not eh' that yam would have been duly choppped and digested. with the way my husbands eyes were shining.  

But for those that chopped, i release you from guilt! You did nothing wrong!  

spoilt:
But for those that chopped, i release you from guilt! You did nothing wrong!

keep decieving the sheeple of Gawd. Maybe na you dey man the pearly gates.

Even our aged mothers know that to chop before the white wedding is wrong . . . now how did they know that? They must have some wisdom that we dont have. I choose to obey them.

spoilt:
Traditional marriage is marriage. court marriage is marriage. Are there still people that have doubts about that? 

I had my traditional marriage a week before my white wedding. No chopping in that one week oh. (probably due to the multitude that moved in enmasse from the village to attend the wedding). The sleeping arrangements no be am. if not eh' that yam would have been duly choppped and digested. with the way my husbands eyes were shining.  

But for those that chopped, i release you from guilt! You did nothing wrong! 

ROFL.
We still managed to steal a few kisses and quick grabbings here and there.
Me I was a little naive about[i] chopinson [/i] from my strict upbringing coupled with my SU/CU  so I didn't desire it as much as my hubby who had wallowed in sin and chopped all types before Christ rescued him.
Thank God he behaved himself for the most part.

who modified the topic?

offcourse its fornication

tosinadeda:
offcourse its fornication

please my brother are you saying that a man who left with his wife after the customary traditions with the blessings of her parents in a crowd of witnesses is a fornicator?

TayoD, thanks for your answer. I totally agree with you.

so b4 christainity came to africa all our ancestors have been doing na fornication eh? all of una de mad.
once the girl papa don gree for me, i go hammer am without restraint even b4 my own papa see am sef. which kind life.

inshort, time don even reach to begin find wife

davidylan:
keep decieving the sheeple of Gawd. Maybe na you dey man the pearly gates.

of course i will be at the pearly gates letting in those who chopped after their traditional! they deserve to be let in.

and our mothers have been influenced by this whole christianity thing too. It started in their time.
even if your marriage wasnt done in the church it doesnt mean you arent married. A marriage is a marriage dammit.

spoilt:
even if your marriage wasnt done in the church it doesnt mean you arent married. A marriage is a marriage dammit.

I concur, absolutely.

It is not a sin to know your wife after the traditional wedding / court wedding.

The bible admonishes us to respect our leaders and the laws of the land which you fulfilled by going through the traditional rights and obtaining a marriage certificate.

As a Christian, your marriage can be blessed by another Christian/pastor at anytime. Where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name , those that scripture sound familiar.

White wedding
=============
Just as the name signifies, the white wedding is a foreign culture to African tradition. To the white, this is their traditional wedding. What it means in essence is that most Africans (including myself) end up having two different weddings from 2 different cultures. It just the mentality we have grown up with and has nothing to do with Christianity

Thanks for a great contribution, however the question is, can a Christian couple today start being intimate after the trado ceremony before a church wedding is done ?

Are you asking if a Christian Couple can start their Happy Home, before they get money for ceremony?

there is no law in or out of the bible that states that marriage must be performed in church in order to be valid in the eyes of God. Marriage is marriage no matter how it's done as long as the 2 parties involved are true to whatever commitments they make and witnesses are present.

Are you telling me now that prior to Christainity and Islamic religion, all the traditional weddings are null and void?

You mean after the blessings from my parents I cant move in with my husband?

You mean all the children given birth to prior to the missionaries are bastards or they wont be recognise by God?

Mind you, all the attributes attached to wedding aside the traditions in Africa are borrowed culture.

I dont think our culture should be neglected coupled with Court  wedding to legalise the wedding.


To me, I dont think lovemaking after a traditional wedding is  fornication.

Traditional wedding brings out the beauty in our culture and there is  fun.

in my candid opinion, i dont see anything wrong with that. the reason is if u want to get married in any Nigerian church, you'll need to get the court/registry aspect consumated else the church would not join you. and in the bible the parents of the man and woman should consent and bless the marriage by way of approval.

I'm not ruling the Church out, but a few elders of the church can bless a marriage.SIMPLE.

i believe that the most important of all is the traditional wedding. The good book says that a man shall leaave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh, and that is what traditional wedding signifies, a ceremony with the mother and father present giving out their daughter to a man so they can become one flesh.

I believe that once this is done, marraige has commenced, the church wedding is just an avenue to be blessed by the man of God, which to me is just a ceremony as one can be blessed in his home with the pastor present.

the traditional wedding is not demonic, hence why do christians partake in it, i believe it is an overdependence on a white mans culture that makes us imbibe the church wedding and we are giving it more prominence than the traditional wedding,wearing  a suit and wedding gown is not natural to us, it is rather a borrowed culture.

to me u can make love to ur wife after the traditional wedding as u have fulfilled Gods commandment, in other words if the father agrees that i marry his daughter and he gives her out to me, maybe i pay the dowry etc, i can chop her dat night, even if it is just me, the girl and her parents present.

Give unto ceasar what is ceasars and to God what is God

the answer to the question seems to come to my mind in this form, "[color=#000099][/color]will God nullify the marriage of  over 500,000,000 adults in china?, or will God nullify the wedding of my great grand parents?, or better still will God nullify my marriage with my wife even though we decided against  having wedding rings?!!!forget God and die!forget your culture and perish!Good thread though!!

I see people asking if God will nullify the weddings of 500million Chinese and i feel we do need to streamline this issue a little bit.
Unbelief is sin . . . those Chinese may be the most faithful marriage partners on earth . . . God still does not recognise a sinner. It doesnt matter if they never fornicated at all.

This issue is strictly a christian issue, pls lets discuss it from that perspective.

I should say that the moment the bide price has been paid for a woman and that the parents of the bride accepts  and bless the union, the couples can be regarded as legally married and can go ahead and "chop themselves". i would like to say here that the white wedding or church wedding as we call it is and still remains imported culture from our colonial masters. I know that in sime certain cultures there is nothing like a white wedding before a marriage is considered legal. But i quite agree with some comments that a marriage need be blessed by  a priest before God. As for me a couple becomes married the moment the bride price has been paid. (just my opinion)

I think waiting till after the church wedding gives it a whole new expectant feeling, It's like delayed gratification. What's the rush anyway

I think we are only getting ourselves confused , church wedding is not biblical, but I can say it a doctoring we all inherited  from the catholic church. The bible activities took place in Israel and they are Jewish who are very traditional, even in the bible all the events of marriages described were traditional both in the old and new testament, so pls marriage is by consent of both and if given it, the parents have the right to bless you and God will also give His mighty blessing

In the Bible, there was no such thing as traditional or DHurch wedding. It was just WEDDING that was said. And i believe that if you want God to be in your midst, just ask and he will be there. So i will say that there is no such thing as Traditional is not done in the presence of the Lord. Church wedding is just an English thing. It is by Choice that you do it.
Sex after marriage is the right thing, not sex after traditional or White marriage. Marriage is recognized by God.

+osisi, carry on chopping

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Colonial mentality at it's peak, the only place on earth where people do two marriages is in Southern Nigeria * I stand to be corrected *.

We do not value our Languages
We do not value our customs
We are ashamed of our president when he's on Traditional wear
We talk bad about our own system of marriage

Tell me why God can not be angry with a people that does not value all he gave them? because according to us everything God gave us as a race is evil. Even our own traditional marriage? guys please wake up!!! too many grammars but no wisdom!! I've heard people say in this very forum that traditional chieftancy titles are evil this is complete madness, people believe that the term "traditional" connotes evil

Where is our pride as a people? with the level of insanity i am witnessing here then i will say "inside the dustbin of course!!"

abeg make somebody teach me something if i am still blind (outdated)

How many of those our colonial master carry out church wedding, what they value is the court wedding incase divorce sets in tomorrow.
I beleive once the bride price is paid the deal is done church or whatever you want to do afterwards is jara.

If we can call it fornication then we all came out of it cos b4 the advent of christianity our forfathers did not know what church wedding is and as such you all are BASTARDS, even you reading this NOW.