In my own opinion, I think coming together of Man and woman ordained by God must have the consent of Parents.  The white Wedding thing I think is the culture of the White that introduced Christianity to us.

I want us to mark the word "Consent of Parents".  Permit me to say this people decided to make things complicated because they love some ceremonial aspect of a particular method.  Some also because they like to display wealth they choose all the method available to Marrige. After all the mariage attended by Christ was not describe as being White one. And I don't think there is anywhere in the bible that provide a particular order of engament between man and woman.

@ poster, You have your Parents (Wife and Husband) consent? and that is suppose to be your Traditional.  I will just like to tell you that you are the one making life more complicated for yourself.  You could have decided on one of the three available methods.  

But I am not God to Judge anybody.  the Bible says if your Conscience does not condemn  you,  

You have been eating the yam anyway    
Love your wife!  keep eating the yam   In my own opinion you are not a fornicator except you may ask for  pardon if you have been eatingf the yam before the [color=#990000

KOKO !!!![size=15pt][/size]

lol oh how so subtly the world has succeeded in watering down God's own rules. It is not the white wedding perse but its spiritual significance that makes it absolutely important.
White weddings are not a formality, they are the outward offering of our bodies in Holy Union to Christ Himself.
Christ likens the relationship between a man and his wife to that between Him and the church . . . to trivialise that process of joining oneself to his wife as a "legal" matter or "mere formality" or a chance to pay bride price is not right.

God does not recognise a "legal" declaration of salvation . . . even if you file an affidavit to that effect at the UN world court.

COLOMENTALITY[size=14pt][/size]

Oh the very thing I would have said has been said over and over!
The truth is MARRIAGE becomes authentic when the parents of those involved give their consent (in full I guess). That's why churches always encourage intending couples to receive BLESSINGS from their parents before they (ALL PARTY INVOLVED) can move on with whatever church or court ceremonies they might want to have.
I believe the treditional thingy with the parents involved 'to capacity' becomes a HIGHLY RECOGNIZED INSTITUTION WITH GOD.
And I also believe, the church ceremony gained prominence when children were disowned by their parents for declaring their christian faith, thereby the church became a family!
The WHITE DRESS is a discussion for another day, believe me.
SO, to all who will TRADITIONALLY MARRY IN JUNE AND 'WHITE WED' IN DECEMBER, ONCE YOU ARE DECLARED MARRIED AT ONE POINT YOU REMAIN EVEN BEYOND DECEMBER.
SO DON'T GO DOING 'IT' TILL EITHER OF THE TWO,OK.
GOD BLESS US.

yemivictor:

iyes,

I strongly urge to go back and read the thread from scratch and perhaps you'd see where
osisi, (the originator of the thread), specified the wedding to be one between a
"christian couple"!
Now,
i don't know what you worship & really, I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING SAUCERS!!! But whenever
you want to get married (if you're not yet married, that is), [b]please call your village dibia to come officiate![/b]I AM DONE WITH THIS THREAD!

ROFL.
dibia = babalawo.
This is funny
But yemi,you're right,the thread was specifically for people who identified themselves as Christians.
Unbelievers can be joined by the high priestess of Okija shrine,who cares?

we'll still call them Mr and Mrs

I would personally like to sleep with my fiance/girl friend well before an engagement, talk less of wedding because I would like to see if we also blend well as sexual partners in the first place.
Its really important and would/should prevent either of us from cheating on each other in the future when we know that we 'blend' well in bed.


I have had girlfriends that have not been so good on the bed but had great personalities - but then again I cannot imagine how our sex lives would have panned out for the rest of our lives if we were to remain faithful to each other.

Imagine someone thats totally hopeless on the bed, that has a good personality. I think I'll rather keep a platonic friendship rather than being a life-long partner.

Very interesting topic, guys. But, what do say in an issue that is has morality ringed around it. I've always believed that whatever has to do with 'belief' or morality tends to evoke subjective emotions. See, i believe inthe whole Church and godly thingy, but in all sincerity, how many couples can really claim not to have tasted the thing before getting married in church, or mosque (for that matter). That is the reality we face. And there is yet another reality for u guys: the whole church-white-wedding thing is becoming rather too expensive. Men, I've seen too many couples who end up in serious debt after trying to do what they see others do, and you don't want to hear the rest of the story,

As for me, i prefer simplicity. Get the parents on both sides to accept and bless the union, fulfil all traditional rites (becos this is Africa, babe) and carry your woman home, and live happily ever after, I hope.

Pls can somebody tell me where it was written in the Bible that they must go to church b4 they can be recognise as husband and wife after they had done tradition. Lets us go by the olden days 1900 when they married do they go to church after traditions? my father only paid my mum marriage right and they did tradition / court to have the certificate to prove then they had us all. So to me if its white you wanna do then you have the money to do it thats why u do its not compulsory, and its takes money more than traditions, what of in a situation of after white weeding there is no money to eat and takecare of your wife? who will u meet? Hermann am sorry.
Thats my own way of thinking o pls

I would not go anywhere b4 I start to have sex, the registry, church, mosque, nowhere!!! because they are just a formality and declaration to the public that we are married.

marriage is a lot deeper than all that, imho

it requires understanding, love, a whole load of emotions, being life long partners,

you don't make the above commitments in a registry, mosque or church, you would feel it and have made these commitments in the subconscious.

hey guys plz am new here.i don't even knw aw 2 navigate my tru dis site.plz culd any luvly person help me tru?

as fra as am concerned,a treditional wedding is already recognising the fact that a bride and a groom exist so Lovemaking after a Traditional wedding aint furnication

The acceptance of a bride price by the bride's family from the groom's family, whatever the amount is, has constituted a sealed marriage contract, before the eyes of God and man.

Hence the man can take his bride home, and start doing whatever you married her for.

You well note that such marriage is termed customary law marriage, and it is legally acceptable by Nigeria government, which in most cases will want you to register such a marriage at any customary law court.

The church in no form whatever can overrule this marriage. No church or temple legalized the marriage of Joesph and Mary the earthly parents of Jesus Christ. and they are deemed to be full married person.
INTOTO: YOU COMMITTED NO FORNICATION, IF YOU HAVE STARTED HAVING SEX AFTER YOUR CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE. NOT BEFORE

Marriage is marriage, so its not fornication. Afterall, some don't marry and they live together to have convenient sex, even these so called do-gooders on nairaland are the Kings and Queens of fornication!

Remove the log in your eye before removing the speck in another man's eye.
He without sin, cast the first stone.

Osisi,whether Church or no church,the marriage had been done.The truth is that,you are not fornicating.Your marriage ceremony was done before God and man.Understand the fact that God is everywhere,he sees everything you do.Whatever type of marriage you do is accepted before God.As far as the both of u are join together before multitude or few.The church marriage without the traditional is even worst,cos it will look as if your husband got you for free.My dear sister so many people that came for the traditional marriage can bear witness that your parents acknowledge given you to your hubby.My dear sister,bother not

The truth is that this the answer to this topic is known by only God because there's nowhere it's specified in the bible. I just wedded in December and we didnt chop anything. We waited till after the white wedding and I tell you, you go chop tire. Just wait a little while and u'll be glad u did. All the rush will end someday and u'll see there was no need for the rush. God's Grace.

The truth is that this the answer to this topic is known by only God because there's nowhere it's specified in the bible. I just wedded in December and we didnt chop anything. We waited till after the white wedding and I tell you, you go chop tire. Just waut a little while and u'll be glad u did. All the rush will end someday and u'll see there was no need for the rush. God's Grace.

my own understanding is that God remains the beginning and the ending of all good things like marriage.If you think Your own God is pleased only with the traditional thing-good luck

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH IYES AND MALBRIES

WE REALLY NEED TO STUDY OUR BIBLES, MOST OUR WAT ECCLESIASTICAL LEADERS CALL CHRISTIAN TRADITION ARE MAN-MADE DOCTRINES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CHRISTIAN BASIS,

REMEMBER WAT CHRIST SAID, FOR IN VAIN DO YE WORSHIP ME, TEACHING FOR DOCTRINES, THE COMMANDMENTS OF MEN,

DO NOT ALLOW YOKES TO BE PUT ON UR NECKS WHERE THE BILE DOES NO SUCH THING,
MAY THE HOLY SPIRIT LEAD US TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Fornication is a christian word, and from the christian perspective, sex before marriage IN CHURCH is a sin. Even if u've done a traditional marraige of a court marriage. God dosent recognize these. We are not trying to judger you. The bible says, can we continue to sin, so that the grace of God shall abide, GOD FORBID!In advising you, we are advising ourselves. If the wedding has been fixed, you've waited for so long, whats it going to cost you to wait again?

It is not fornication at all so far u are married at all, traditionally or otherwise.

God recognises all marriage institution even he is not in that marriage he recognises the fact that the two of u are


joined together by marriage.

@poster (osisi)

you were engaged in August, I would rather ask: what are you waiting for till December.

As far as Im concerned, from the little I read in my Bible, after a man gets parental-consent and blessings from the parents of the Lady, and pays the dowry, they are married. God blesses such unions and does not wait for the blessing of a wedding official.

The Church wedding is good and fine, but is more of a public announcement, that 'we are husband and wife'. It is not necessary, if the couple do not have the financial means.

I believe both the man and woman should have sat down to discuss and make sure that the time-frame is not too long between the engagement and the marriage. If the time frame is long and such begin to have sex, yes the lady might end up preggy on the wedding day, however in the eyes of the guests at the church wedding, they might think the wedding is a coverup to the pregnancy, and many other people might get a false impression.

No, its not fornication, after parental consent and dowry payment.

My contribution to this topic is this:

1. To the Christian, who can point out to me in the Bible where the Bible says that the marriage that is acceptable to God is the one you do in the church.
2. The Bible says Jesus was invited to a marriage ceremony (John 2:1 -10). Is this a church marriage or traditional? (the Bible did not say) but we can deduce from that story that it's traditional marriage.

Also, while you are doing your traditional marriage people are present; so, you are doing this in the presence of God and People. and your parent are consentting.

This is the main marriage that God supports. many do the church marriage and their parent are not fully supporting it. but is very difficult to do traditional marriage and your parent will not support it.

so let's stop making this church wedding thing as compulsory as if if you don't do it your marriage is not bless by God. no is not like that.

WITHOUT HOLINESS NO MAN SHALL SEE GOD. IF YOU ARE BORN AGAIN YOU NEED YOUR SPIRITUAL
FATHER`S BLESSING BEFORE YOU START ANYTHING AT ALL. THE BLESSING COULD EVEN BE ON THAT
ENGAGEMENT DAY NOT NECESSARILY IN THE CHURCH.
GOD IS SPIRIT AND THOSE THAT WORSHIP HIM MUST DO THAT IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH.
MY DEAR, YOU NEED TO BE PRESENTED AND HANDED OVER TO CHRIST BY A TRUE SERVANT
OF GOD. ANYTHING OTHERWISE IS FORNICATION.

baso has made some very good points here.

However, I'd say just wait until after your church wedding before sleeping together, if you're the type that considers it important.  If only because of what people will say. Beware the power of the tongue. Also to set a good example. if your pastor/church considers these things important, then dont disappoint them by not waiting. Of course this is all easier said than done. Its up to the couple, really.

I doubt there's anywhere in the bible that invalidates any cultural form of marriage. These things existed long before the first church was started. What about people of other, non-Christian religions?

Marriage isnt just about fairytale romance and whatnot- its a valid, legal contract between two people. Its recognized in the eyes of the law, and not just the church.

God recognizes everything that you make to him including traditional weddings. i think when you make an agreement with your partner then you are making it with God. So it will not be fornication.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

AS A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN I INSIST THAT IT IS AN ACT OF FORNICATION. FOR ENLIGHTMENT:
SEE MY PROFILE FOR MY E-MAIL. WE SHOULD STOP DECEIVING OURSELVES. NO WONDER THE
BIBLE SAYS "THERE IS A WAY THAT SEEMETH RIGHT UNTO MAN BUT THE END THEREOF IS DESTRUCTION".

The bible is clear, what ever you do; you have to commit it unto the lord. It is important that whether traditional or white, it must be committed to God.

Okay to the issue at stake, lets go to the bible; I cannot see anywhere marriage happened without the parents consent. In fact, marriage happens, when the person with spiritual rights over the girl, hands over this lady to the husband (including the spiritual rights) this person is usually the father of the girl. Immediately he does this, he looses those spiritual rights over the girl. This is spiritual rights concept between father, daughter and husband this is made very Clear in Num 30 [url]http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=numbers%2030%20;&version=9;[/url]

That is why the husband is the cover for the wife…not the girls father. Okay lets go on…

What this means is that the Father is the 'owner' of the girl, and until he give her away to another, she remains his ‘property’. If a man takes her away without his permission, he has stolen from the father, and sinned against God. It’s exactly the same way if someone steals your car, he has robbed that individual and sinned against God. God would definitely not be please with him. Please, please, I am not comparing women with 'items' but i am just trying to clarify a spiritual principle, so ladies bear with me. On we go…

If the above is correct, it therefore means that if a man gives his daughter to another as a wife, it is ABSOLUTLY acceptable to God! I have a right to give my property to anyone I please. Every other thing is ceremony, which is absolutely unimportant in the spiritual scheme, In fact, the ceremonies is purely for man and him alone. That is why no two weddings are the same, some are more lavish than others. Lets go on…

Since every good thing comes from God, it is pertinent that a true believe dedicates whatever God gives him/her back to God, so after the marriage (when the father gives the daughter to the man) the couple should dedicate their marriage to God. This could be on the same day of the traditional wedding or at a latter date, this is effectively asking God to come into the marriage and help you make it work. . This prayer can be 1mins 2mins or even 1hr depending on how the spirit leads.

In the light of above, I would strongly discourage sex before you dedicate your marriage. This dedication is a simple prayer and you do not need to take an oath. Its just like moving into a new house before dedicating it, I would not advice it. Dedication show that you acknowledge God as the giver of this good thing (marriage) that you have received. Remember the bible says, He that findeth a good wife, findeth a good things and obtaineth favor from the lord.

From the forgoing it is clear that sex after marriage, before dedication is not a sin, but an unwise step. Not praying in the morning and evening is not a sin, but unwise. Not dedicating your house before moving in is not a sin, but unwise. Being stingy is not a sin, but unwise, and the like. Doing such unwise things would invariably expose the individual to the enemy and you know what happens to those who fall into the hands of the enemy.

Do note that the tradition of white wedding is a western tradition, exported with the glorious message of our lord and savior. Please take this linkhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_wedding.

Remain blessed the lord is Goooooooooood!

u have to wed properly in a church, in accordance to the will of God.

haba!which one we dey, man dey chop his wife una dey call am a fornicator? i beg oh nah 2008 year we dey, what will you call someone having a one night stand then. i still do not know that two people could possibly decide to marry and spent the rest of the lifes together and never ever chopped each. so what will you do if you find each other boring in bed, abi chopping is for making kids ony!!!!!!!!!!!!!i dont think so

dear All,
i will like to back up, a little bit. When u search thru scriptures, it was a wrong thing in d beginning to just see a woman, grab her, and lay her. Even when she was a war conquest, there were rules you needed 2 follow to have her as yours. One thing that's at the back ground, in some of these posts, is it seems we have many here, who may have been laying them selves, even at the level of fiancees, so if you re already doing that, whats the big deal of waiting again? What i understand we are saying is this, If you have accepted to live the way of the Bible, that means you want to honour God with your body. Once you have done the proper thing, which is getting the consent of parents, if you both agree that you dont want to go through the "church wedding route", you can have your spiritual leader/mentor/pastor come to the traditional, and bless your marriage. Go ahead after this and go the whole distance!!! If you want to take it further and get joined in church, discuss with your wife and make your decision whether you want to wait, or not, but if you dont care to do it God's way, for you anything goes!! A Xtian, who has gone through parents properly and wants to end there and "take a ride", no wahala  Nothing stops a Xtian man and woman discussing these things and coming to an agreement, i mean to wait or not to wait after traditional wedding,  I rest my case

my opinion is that; if you know you still want to have the church wedding, then forget about sexual enjoyment until then. but if you know you can"t wait till then, forget about church wedding and be content with your traditional wedding, 'cos you can"t deceive God.

I like Naira land well welllll.

Story too much,

Well ol of una correct sha, but as for me,

Ma traditional wedding will come first, and after dat , Oh ma God

I wish it could be 2morrow

JUst 2 keep on chopingggggg!!!!!!!

Na only the living go chop ooo!!!

I like Naira land well welllll.

Story too much,

Well ol of una correct sha, but as for me,

Ma traditional wedding will come first, and after dat , Oh ma God

I wish it could be 2morrow

JUst 2 keep on chopingggggg!!!!!!!

Na only the living go chop ooo!!!