₦airaland Forum

Kissing, osculation, necking, tonsil hockey; Call it whatever you may, has been banned by the Nigerian government.

The two houses voted overwhelmingly in an unprecedented plenary session to outlaw the act of kissing.

Speaking at the session as a member of the gallery, Patrick Obiahagbon, noted that “kissing as an act is inherently repugnant, excoriatingly malicious and patently unnatural.”

Senator Magnus Obe who voted from his hospital bed in London was equally disgusted. “If God intended for us to drink saliva would he have created water?” he asked via Google Hangout.

The historic vote to outlaw kissing is coming a few months after another historic vote in which same sex marriages and relations was criminalized with the guilty liable to face 14 years in jail.

In his final statement at the end of the vote which has now been sent to the President for his assent, the senate president, Senator David Nack, told his colleagues from both the lower and upper houses that “kissing is an imperialistic tool introduced into Africa to mentally enslave us. Did you ever see Kwame Nkrumah kiss? Did you see Nnamdi Azikiwe kiss? Did you see Obafemi Awolowo kiss? No. We even have it on good authority that Awolowo did not, you know, with his wife for twenty years prior to his death. I am not saying that my fellow lawmakers should imitate Awolowo because the era in which he lived is different from the era in which we now live. Mini-skirts were not invented then. lol”

Protests have already been launched and a group known as the Koalition in Serious Support of Necking (KISSON) has issued a statement noting that “we will make the country ungovernable. Every onlooker is either a traitor or a non-kisser.” The statement was signed by Comrade Bob Kisser.

Source: http://www.sabinews.com/all-news/breaking-news-kissing-banned-in-nigeria/#comment-34556

ĨŤŚ Á ĴŐĶĔ

Laughable indeed, if it were true.

iceberylin:
ĨŤŚ Á ĴŐĶĔ

So u follow de drink saliva ? And ur name de like one wey dey drink mixture( thick one in d morning, watery one in d noon, white one in d evening, one mixed with something d following day)

Guy, which one u de enjoy pass ?

That Bill is not going anywhere, than to be written on books. I will still kiss my wife, from head to toe, as many times as possible at home.

If you love kissing pass me say "yeah "

is this for real


na dem go first de kiss small gals


rape is against the law and Mr speaker de have affair with a lady young enough to be his daughter-in-law

Nonsense

Ha-ha.

ideology:
That Bill is not going anywhere, than to be written on books. I will still kiss my wife, from head to toe, as many times as possible at home.

If you love kissing pass me say "yeah "

HIM DON THE TAKE THE MATER FOR HEAD

Op, back page things

Rikidony:
HIM DON THE TAKE THE MATER FOR HEAD

Bros we are catching fun here as you can clearly see, no hard feelings jare,

Nairalane:
Op, back page things

Seriously, hehehe

PedroJP:
So u follow de drink saliva ? And ur name de like one wey dey drink mixture( thick one in d morning, watery one in d noon, white one in d evening, one mixed with something d following day)

Guy, which one u de enjoy pass ?

Na your sis own i enjoy pass

d government is joking

Joke of the month

Haa... See gbege.. Kissin wey b say na him most of us dey use start bleeping....if dem ban am nw, hw we go cum dey start....

...PLEASE TRASH THIS TOPIC

mralabs:
Kissing, osculation, necking, tonsil hockey; Call it whatever you may, has been banned by the Nigerian government.

The two houses voted overwhelmingly in an unprecedented plenary session to outlaw the act of kissing.

Speaking at the session as a member of the gallery, Patrick Obiahagbon, noted that “kissing as an act is inherently repugnant, excoriatingly malicious and patently unnatural.”

Senator Magnus Obe who voted from his hospital bed in London was equally disgusted. “If God intended for us to drink saliva would he have created water?” he asked via Google Hangout.

The historic vote to outlaw kissing is coming a few months after another historic vote in which same sex marriages and relations was criminalized with the guilty liable to face 14 years in jail.

In his final statement at the end of the vote which has now been sent to the President for his assent, the senate president, Senator David Nack, told his colleagues from both the lower and upper houses that “kissing is an imperialistic tool introduced into Africa to mentally enslave us. Did you ever see Kwame Nkrumah kiss? Did you see Nnamdi Azikiwe kiss? Did you see Obafemi Awolowo kiss? No. We even have it on good authority that Awolowo did not, you know, with his wife for twenty years prior to his death. I am not saying that my fellow lawmakers should imitate Awolowo because the era in which he lived is different from the era in which we now live. Mini-skirts were not invented then. lol”

Protests have already been launched and a group known as the Koalition in Serious Support of Necking (KISSON) has issued a statement noting that “we will make the country ungovernable. Every onlooker is either a traitor or a non-kisser.” The statement was signed by Comrade Bob Kisser.

Source: http://www.sabinews.com/all-news/breaking-news-kissing-banned-in-nigeria/#comment-34556

Now!! This is Hilarious....!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA op wetin you take this early a.m??

Another brother to Fake Naija News...

[color=#808000]*breaks bottle*

What of Australian kiss [/color]

Stop this expensive joke biko!

Hehehe ....... Hilariousjokelization NIGERIALIMITED