₦airaland Forum

Clear throat.......

Well, this is my first thread in romance section of the site since I joined in 286BC lol.


I asked this question because I am afraid of the unknown.

We all know that what is trending now in our society (DIVORCE) stories here and there.

We men, struggle hard to make a kobo, according to the custom, a man need to get married and settle down with his wife. This is what we were made to believe.

After years of struggling and it's time to settle down with a life partner, one will search for Miss right and get married.
What baffles me the most is that after the man Will spend so much in wedding and the stress involve, still yet we will be regarded as mugu lol.

How can a marriage crash within 10 months and the wife will fill for a divorce without a refund.

I thinks it's better to do wedding when you're certainly sure (5 years) that your marriage can stand the test of time rather than wasting money on so called wedding and still get a divorce within 12 months.

For pet's sake, we aren't mugus, I think we men have to reason with our head not our emotions.


This divorce saga is getting too much and the single guys aren't happy about this.

It's time we stand up and say enough is enough.

Your contribution will be highly appreciated because I am losing interest.

Who is the 5year old that assured you that wedding after 5years of marriage guarrantee's stability and pushes divorce far away? Haven't you thought of it that the spirit of complacency might raise it'ugly head making both partners to stop trying to spice their marriage after wedding.
My point is,having a wedding 2,3,5,25 years after being together or having a wedding before marriage doesn't put forthcoming trials and temptations away...

People just have to stop marrying for pity,wealth or people's sake...

Cut your coat according to your cloth.



You wanna get married to your wife and do the wedding after 5 years, huh?

Who is "we"?

5years to be sure of what exactly?
Is there a miss right/mister right actually?
Who says women don't spend on marriages these days?
Who says divorce is the fault of only a woman?
If its a matter if refund then its a two-way street.

Am not going to be biased but I would say the reasons for divorces these days are born out of the things we saw while courting but ignored them simply because we think marriage would right all wrongs or we think love is all that matters.

@Youngzedd whether u wed 5years into the marriage or not, it just doesn't guarantee that the Divorce won't come.

Its all about trial and error in some cases if you ask me. Cos you don't even have guarantee that after dating the girl for 2years that you guys can settle down peacefully without the ugly head of divorce coming up.

Just choose rightly and don't marry for any reason asides love and simply try to stay committed and be content with what you have.

To make a marriage last, commitment and contentment are really necessary.

Zedd believe me, I spent the last 5mins trying to grab what you're on about.

Your topic doesn't really correlate with what you're stressing.

In one sentence, you're making a case against divorce, in another, you're sounding bittered that men upon being subjected to endless struggle in life are treated like fools by females.

But then, me thinks you're just not happy that women tend to get the fair treatment during divorces whilst the men who're usually the homes' breadwinners suffer most.

Well, you have to understand that before divorce happen, both parties must have agreed to separate. Through the aid of a solicitor, they get to make a deed of separation, which records any agreement regarding financial matters, properties and children. So you don't really expect a refund from your wife here if such is not stipulated in the agreement.

There is an alternative to divorce which is Judicial Separation. It's not so common but could be considered when there are religious objections to divorce. The main difference is that you no longer have any legal duty to live together but you cannot remarry. Everything about the finance, children and properties are handled by the court.

So don't take it to heart when you're subjected to endless financial settlement during divorce, you own most of the properties, so the parting will never be fair.

You can avoid divorce by marrying the right woman. She doesn't need to be perfect, she has to be someone that understands, loves and respects you for who you are - simples.

weezii:
@Youngzedd whether u wed 5years into the marriage or not, it just doesn't guarantee that the Divorce won't come.

Its all about trial and error in some cases if you ask me. Cos you don't even have guarantee that after dating the girl for 2years that you guys can settle down peacefully without the ugly head of divorce coming up.

Just choose rightly and don't marry for any reason asides love and simply try to stay committed and be content with what you have.

To make a marriage last, commitment and contentment are really necessary.

Bro, if you spend 5 million for wedding and within 12 months you start to hear funny things, won't you request for a refund?

Not ya portion.

@YoungZedd

For a lot of people, I think it’s a matter of priorities: they’ve thought things through and the idea of a big wedding and all that goes with it (fun times with family, a great party and so on) is worth it. The experience of the perfect wedding is worth more than the alternatives of where they can spend that money.

At the end of the day, its a matter of personal choices, as it should be. If your financial priority is your wedding, that’s fine. You should be able to throw the rockingest party you can. The problems creep in when we think about the fact that not everyone manages their finances perfectly. Not everyone saves up money to pay for their wedding ahead of time or budget for what they can afford to spend. Some people choose to go pretty deep into debt in order to have the wedding of their dreams and wind up paying even more in interest, not to mention causing damage to their credit.

The idea of massive debt for one day of fun — charging an amount equivalent to at least a down payment on a house, if not most of the total cost — is what bothers me.




Divorce and Refunds.
I dont know but i believe that no of years together does not guaranty long term marriage.

However if you do need a refund or want to abscond fron responsibilities or settling the lady or sharing properties after payment, A PRENUP is always the way to go.


Me

I wont spend more than a 100k on a wedding party. In my wedding i will just go to the court sign documents. Invite 10- 15 friends and get. Food from an eatery. Thats all.

Youngzedd:
Bro, if you spend 5 million for wedding and within 12 months you start to hear funny things, won't you request for a refund?

Not ya portion.

Lol it won't be oh.

About the refund, it depends on my pocket. If its still deep, make she sha go her way.

But I will like to avoid all those drama by trying my best to marry "rightly"

Marriage is sweet when you marry the right person,both couples can live years and only dead can put asunder in the relationship

Marriage can also be hell if you marriage the wrong person both party cannot stay a year together

When a man comes home and finds the wife happy,things going well he will always want to be home for the man,but when he comes and everyday is fighting nagging he prefers to hangout with friends after days job the fall of marriage has begins.

It really painful after spending your every money on wedding,marriage,rite,etc and everything goes downs,a man can be happy when he knows the home is settled and the wife is happy even after marriage no enough money but the love is there ,the couples understands learn to manage till old age.

I perfectly understand your pain because(a friend of ours has money at present and he is at the age of getting married but he is just too afraid don't wanna loose his money and wife as same time ,if both goes Life will not be worth living for some)

But.......still when there is love ,you can give your woman all the money you have,give her your shirt and stay in cold,give her your last penny .even at that some Girls will still still tag you fool

Sometimes the ones you love don't love you back after doing everything for them they turn around and leave that's why men are afraid of comitment sometimes

Marriage is not to be rushed into,if you rush in you rush out ,it is to be carefully looked out and planned


Mark and score the person you want to get married to,only love will not be alone when kids starts to come,you even forget to say I LOVE YOU most times.

Check the humility,traits,responses to advice,(even if she doesn't cook well you can teach her )does she forgives easily,plan with you,advice you,encourages you when you are down,have positive mind set(even if she not too educated)in all does she wife material you want?

Don't go with her cause of have beauty ,8figures ,but please look very well
Not to end what you have started in diaster this might lead to dead,after checking all you want in her ,mark your scores compare,if the quality you want is more don't wait to propose to her

If not try again,hangout meet girls not just one more and find the right one at of the crowd

On this note my friend ,it not how long a relationship last that leads to marriage it is how both parties understands each other.


I might be coming back to write more

Youngzedd:
Bro, if you spend 5 million for wedding and within 12 months you start to hear funny things, won't you request for a refund?

Not ya portion.

Hehehe

This dude no go kee me

Which kind refund are you hollering for?

The wedding read: Mr Zedd weds Mrs Zedd.

You're making it sound like as if it's the bride's wedding alone. The success of such wedlock is also your success, its failure is also your failure.

Then again, I must have considered these questions before spending big on my wedding:

- Is she really my bride?
- Is she worth a 5million budget wedding?
- If we decide to separate, do I have to regret splashing out 5million on our wedding?
- Is she someone I can put up with her excesses for the rest of my life?
- Would I ever get sick and tired of her?
- Is she someone that complements me?

Weigh the pros and cons of getting married to that lady. Don't go beating yourself up and asking for meaningless refunds when the whole love goes south.

It's your call to make. No one would take the blame when it all goes wrong other than you.

AirborneLacer:
Hehehe

This dude no go kee me

Which kind refund are you hollering for?

The wedding read: Mr Zedd weds Mrs Zedd.

You're making it sound like as if it's the bride's wedding alone. The success of such wedlock is also your success, its failure is also your failure.

Then again, I would have considered these questions before spending big on my wedding:

- Is she really my bride?
- Is she worth a 5million budget wedding?
- If we decide to separate, do I have to regret splashing out 5million on our wedding?
- Is she someone I can put up with her excesses for the rest of my life?
- Would I ever get sick and tired of her?
- Is she someone that complements me?

Weigh the pros and cons of getting married to that lady. Don't go beating yourself up and asking for meaningless refunds when the whole love goes south.

It's your call to make. No one would take the blame when it all goes wrong other than you.

Nice one.

5 million on a wedding is too much. Thats money will buy me 3 new Cars.


Emba nu

If i spend 5 million on wedding alone, the day her mum comes to my house and she ask for transport fare. Na her leg she go use waka go house

^Ymodulus. If you have N50m, how much will you spend on your wedding?

dunkem21:
^Ymodulus. If you have N50m, how much will you spend on your wedding?

Ok. Very good question. Like 150,000 naira should be enough. Thats if i spend ooooooo.


Lol!!!

Ymodulus:
Ok. Very good question. Like 150,000 naira should be enough. Thats if i spend ooooooo.


Lol!!!

..And if her mother has N5m to throw around for her daughter's wedding bash; Will you object that?

lemme sit here

Ymodulus:
Me

I wont spend more than a 100k on a wedding party. In my wedding i will just go to the court sign documents. Invite 10- 15 friends and get. Food from an eatery. Thats all.

Ymodulus!!! common on now it is a once in a life time thing. I am not an advocate for very big weddings but i feel 100k is way too small. hopefully you will be a millionaire by the time you are getting married and in the tens of millions i believe. So spending 1million is not too much to me IMO. My friend got married recently and he did a simple wedding believe you me it cost about 800k. If the money is not there no qualms, but if you have it pls spend it. Money is meant to be spent it wont go with you to the grave.

@OP well for me i dont have divorce in my dictionary and so i will look out for a lady who doesnt have divorce in her dictionary too meaning she is prepared to do everything it takes to make the marriage work. What i do is that i usually fly a kite to find out and it has worked so far.