₦airaland Forum

DukeNija:
Bros abeg no vex o, is it your wife who doubles as life partner and mother of your children you are referring to with such disdain?
You seem to be a very angry person who feels he's doing a woman a favor by marrying her. I am not married, but I felt the urge to say I am very disappointed in your choice of words towards your wife. I take care of people who are not even related to me by blood, financially and otherwise and I never feel I'm doing them a favour, how much more my own family.

You sound like you were forced to marry her, like you didn't propose to this woman, didn't buy her an engagement ring and all that, like she was begging to become your wife. I went through your post and I couldn't even find what she did so wrong for you to hate her this much, even up to the point of contemplating divorce.

Using words like "putting her under my roof", "feeding her and our kids" "bitching about everything" is just too disrespectful to your wife and I'm afraid your marital challenges can be traced to your negative attitude towards your her. Please approach your marriage with a better countenance and see your wife as you see yourself by truly loving her and sincerely appreciating her contributions to your home. And yes you need to praise her for cooking, cleaning after you and your child, taking care of you and maintaining the home. Yes, you must praise her. Try telling her how much you appreciate her efforts and cooking, and how delicious her food is and see if she won't be overjoyed and do something special for you.
Women complain a lot, my mom, sisters, gf every woman I know can complain, it just doesn't make them bad people. That's just their way of communicating sometimes.

And pls if you are tired of putting her under your roof, u can send her to me. I have a very large flat with four rooms that can comfortably accommodate her. *Just kidding*

DukeNija:
Bros abeg no vex o, is it your wife who doubles as life partner and mother of your children you are referring to with such disdain?
You seem to be a very angry person who feels he's doing a woman a favor by marrying her. I am not married, but I felt the urge to say I am very disappointed in your choice of words towards your wife. I take care of people who are not even related to me by blood, financially and otherwise and I never feel I'm doing them a favour, how much more my own family.

You sound like you were forced to marry her, like you didn't propose to this woman, didn't buy her an engagement ring and all that, like she was begging to become your wife. I went through your post and I couldn't even find what she did so wrong for you to hate her this much, even up to the point of contemplating divorce.

Using words like "putting her under my roof", "feeding her and our kids" "bitching about everything" is just too disrespectful to your wife and I'm afraid your marital challenges can be traced to your negative attitude towards your her. Please approach your marriage with a better countenance and see your wife as you see yourself by truly loving her and sincerely appreciating her contributions to your home. And yes you need to praise her for cooking, cleaning after you and your child, taking care of you and maintaining the home. Yes, you must praise her. Try telling her how much you appreciate her efforts and cooking, and how delicious her food is and see if she won't be overjoyed and do something special for you.
Women complain a lot, my mom, sisters, gf every woman I know can complain, it just doesn't make them bad people. That's just their way of communicating sometimes.

And pls if you are tired of putting her under your roof, u can send her to me. I have a very large flat with four rooms that can comfortably accommodate her. *Just kidding*

koyyes:
Can you imagine? I think the op has already made up his mind. Infact, since he is proving that his is a real african traditionalist,he would be doing his wife a favor by divorcing his decent wife in peace and wrecking what is left of his miserable life. Let him go for the 'akamu' drinkers or those women that are african traditionalists who like visiting shrines. Confused people.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

Sunshinelady:
. When u see MEN u ll know, kudos jare.

DailyNews:
my own blood brother was a victim too! He was blessed financially, married this his long-time swthrt out of love...she was so awesome b4 marriage...was my best friend...everyone family member cherished n welcomed her. Just after marriage n 2 kids, she changed from good to bad...gradually to worst...God in heaven knows that every member of my family did all we could to savage d marriage...to please her...my mum went to virtually all prayer houses n churches praying for her...her own parents did n got tired of her...she started acting insane with strange behaviours showing someone possessed of evil spirit. Even got to d extent of not taking care of her kids...my brother changed cars n cars for her to please her to no avail...opened a big business for her to please her more to no avail.

So he decided to marry a second wife n maybe divorce n settle her, me, my siblings n parents refused that no divorce in our family...we stopped him from re-marrying n divorcing...2yrs later, my brother died mysteriously, *tears*

Life is just useless! In fact, op, whatever ur instinct tells you to do about this marriage, do it and don't listen to anyone b4 sth bad happens...cos some women are heavily possessed of demonic spirits that usually wake up after they marry an awesome husband. Be wise and also talk to God on your own.

No one else can advice u best, talk to your God and follow your inner voice.

Goodluck

DailyNews:
God bless u too Febup. You know, that comment I quoted brought tears to my eyes and I had to open up. I still remember with tears, how my brother used to cry to us for help- always calling my parents, elderly aunts, siblings & even d wife's parents/siblings just to restore love/peace in his marriage but d wife never cared- instead she waged war against everyone- her parents, mine (except my dad/mum), pastors, aunts, cousins, n even her fellow sister-in-laws. Everyone kept advising my brother to hold on n keep praying that she would come back to her senses. He cried n cired...pray he isn't angry with us wherever he is now, *tears*....but we pressured him to pls endure for a change.

Finally he died...his death isn't far fetched from d wife...can't talk abt it here, *tears*....his kids we were concerned abt are all faring very well now he's gone! Life is just useless!!!! It hurts to remember this, sighs

Ladies pls its not a laughing matter, go to God and ask for forgiveness of all ur crucade n evil ways while single before u go into marriage cos some underlying spirits always wake up once u ladies marry an awesome man...I am sure its not always ordinary like we all see it n feel marriage counsellors n advisers can solve.

MrsAnyanwu:
pls op, i sincerely sympathise with u, but pls try and watch dis movie titled 'fireproof ' u myt learn a thing or two, from it, God preserve and bless ur union, more kids on the way.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

DailyNews:
amen! God bless you and pls keep praying for this because most times it seems women don't change ordinarily; heard some sleeping supernatural powers wake up against some women as soon as they get legally married. So my dear as u desire a joyful marriage, pls keep praying for it committedly cos with things I see, read and hear, marriage is now scary.

@op, I suspect cheating from your wife, pls be watchful n vigillante.

Bunsky:
enen wot hapen to it?

holysaint1:
nutin mch ooo... Just envisaging aw twud look like without then "ky"...

DailyNews:
God bless u too Febup. You know, that comment I quoted brought tears to my eyes and I had to open up. I still remember with tears, how my brother used to cry to us for help- always calling my parents, elderly aunts, siblings & even d wife's parents/siblings just to restore love/peace in his marriage but d wife never cared- instead she waged war against everyone- her parents, mine (except my dad/mum), pastors, aunts, cousins, n even her fellow sister-in-laws. Everyone kept advising my brother to hold on n keep praying that she would come back to her senses. He cried n cired...pray he isn't angry with us wherever he is now, *tears*....but we pressured him to pls endure for a change.

Finally he died...his death isn't far fetched from d wife...can't talk abt it here, *tears*....his kids we were concerned abt are all faring very well now he's gone! Life is just useless!!!! It hurts to remember this, sighs

Ladies pls its not a laughing matter, go to God and ask for forgiveness of all ur crucade n evil ways while single before u go into marriage cos some underlying spirits always wake up once u ladies marry an awesome man...I am sure its not always ordinary like we all see it n feel marriage counsellors n advisers can solve.

voodoo85:
Whatvi have noticed, that men in general treat a marriage as a task- showed colorful feathers, promissed the world, proposed, got the stamp and papers of marriage and seems their job is done. It seems they believe that marriage is itself going engine, which doesnt need care, fixing and so on. Here stops understanding and listening. I dont understand the point of marriage nowadays. Not mine only example, my some friends feel same. Woman starts complaing about one thing but in reallity its thousand things which u both hid under the carpet and didnt solve them, didnt talk about them. And rubbish pile under the carpet is getting bigger and bigger

liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

freshdude2:
Show a woman weakness and that is the end. What you guys didn't realise is that all those pleading was actually increasing her confidence and power. She had your brother in her purse. All he had to do was go psycho on her, if he had she'd be an angel now or your brother would be divorced and alive. I pity men who think they can plead or reason with psycho women. Once the story is this way, you fight fire with fire and ensure dominance or divorce if you can't stand the heat.

alutacontinua:
Did your supplier mix something else with your weed?




@op, have you talked to your wife about these changes?
like it or not, the most important thing to a woman from a man is not money, so, forget about the 'I take care of her financially' part.
A normal, sane woman does not exhibit all of those characteristics at once, not to a very wonderful husband. She's most likely reacting to something. Have you cheated or are you cheating on her? Do you have unresolved issues? How's the sex life? Etc etc......I seriously believe your wife is reacting to an equal but opposite action, identify the action and you can move from there.

choiii this answer makes sense
if i see you ehh i must hug you




However, if you're strongly convinced that this woman has just made it her life ambition to frustrate you for no reason, then, you have a psycho on your hand-you know what to do

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.

coogar:
•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

SeaGold:
You understand women perfectly very well. Marriage is a psychological warfare.

If a man plays into the hands of his wife, he may never recover except he takes drastic measures

kITATITA:
My brother, remember first and foremost that in marriage your partner is a stranger. You start learning to live with each other. Secondly, she's your WIFE and not a maid. Stop complaining about not cooking for you, being disrespectful and not doing this and that. That's not the definition of modern marriage; any marriage for that matter. It's not a contest. Why not humble yourself and learn to please her instead and watch her eat out of your palms.

mk3jax:
Well I have a similar issue with my wife. She was miss perfect agreeing to everything I want when she was looking for marriage and after marriage, her real self started to manifest. First it was constant complain about my family for no reason, then she graduated to wanting to control my life and determine who I am to give money or not and where I can and cannot go. She complains about everything and never appreciating anything I do. I provide all the financial need of the house 100% yet she want me to take care of her parent and siblings(both married and single ones) like i am their father and every time I refuse to send them money it is quarrel. She also expect me to praise her for almost everything she does like I demand same praise for putting her under a roof, paying all the bills, feeding her and our child and making her as comfortable as possible.
She bitches about everything I do making me feel like i am a child that doesn't have a sense of making my own decision despite being very successful in my career and handling lots of real life responsibilities that she can never imagine doing.
After the birth of our child, she turned to something else which in turn made me to make up my mind that I will never have a second child. She has time to watch all her tv programs to make herself happy but as soon as I pick my remote to play a game despite working from morning to night while she sits at home, she complains and I have over time disregarded her complains and do what I want to do to make myself happy. I have just one life to live and being married to someone doesn't gives them a control over my life and if you don't want to stay married to me again, then get the fu.c.k out of my life and go take care of yourself. I almost divorced her sometime ago but just decided to calm down. I hope we do not separate because of my love for our child but if we have to, then so be it because I will not live a life of a prisoner because of a child.