₦airaland Forum

@ no 24, u forgot to add what actually happens to you if you drank the soda without telling them.

Oh! Africa. The land of my birth.

Like seriously all this happened to me and it was fun too tho.

If you want double wahala just try hold my mum hand when she dey beat you, when my dad return she'll be like "see your son ooo I was beating him and he raised his hand to beat me back". Then I'll be like ah!!! Mommy no ooo I didn't beat you back ooo. She will say "you see he's even calling me a liar".

Then my sharp dad will now ask "is your mother a liar?" You see say dem don catch me from both sides and the automatic answer is no my mom isn't a liar. Na then wahala go begin ooo from hot slap to kneeling down to receiving several lashes of cane and sometimes I end up losing expectations from my dad. Then you'll hear him say "you see that cloth I was going to buy you don't come to ask me for it again".

It was quit an experience tho but at that, then I had a killer move, na sickness they turn me boss for house then I'll get to send from the oldest to the youngest in the house errand and also do some stuffs I wouldn't dare do on a normal day.

I remember when I was in SS2, tho I was sick but then my girlfriend had the chance to come into our house and I even kissed IN MY DAD'S HOUSE?? When she first enter she was like she's looking for me, that she's my class captain (lie tho) then she was allowed in I was laying in the parlor. Mom had to get me some medics so we two was in the parlor. And stuffs happened sha. If not for sickness (If I hear say head prefect wey be girl find me come mom no pursue her, lol)

Well those experiences was great I just look back and I smile and sometimes I feel like going back to those days. Lol

Am I the only one my dad promised bicycle if I carried first?? After struggling and carrying the first in Pry3 ah no see bicycle even till now. Sadly I can't ride a bicycle till now.
When I carried 1st in Pry 3, the school gave me this pretty bournvita watter bottle I so loved. My mum never allowed me use it. She said I should wait till Jss1. Na so ah wait oo. Till ah write jamb ah no use am. E rust for house. My mum has this habit of keeping things and buying in bulk also
Then if u go visit a friend, mum wud be like hw many times have u seen tobi come to this house and visit u? Then if tobi comes eventually, na bad eye she go take dey look u...

My mum used 2 rub pepper in our eyes and lock us up 4 hours in a pit latrine!

GboyegaD:
p

Very similar experience. Had 6A's in WAEC and a P7 in English and to my dad, those As were useless.

i went to cyber cafe this year and saw a man who was almost at tears with his daughter's poor performance in Wace. A tear almost fell frm his eyes when he was looking at D print out frm computer. I think the girl failed his high expectation.

My dad wuz so strict ehn,he will use his whip on yhu for any slight mistakes,i chop his koboko tire,now wen i travelled home from skul during holiday and see my younger brothers escaping punishments,i will just look at my old man lyk "Agba tii dee"

[quote author=nickz post=28645138]you my sister was very lucky!!

my mum would use my dad's clipper to cut it for you!!!
TO HER UTTERMOST SATISFACTION!!
i don't want to remember what it looked like after her very professional haircut
[/quote/] Modified
She did actually think she's d best barber

demsid:
me self o. barb style ke. that's not permitted

U r as gud as dead should u even shave ur hairline

ekochris:
You mean you got 6 Distinctions (A1s) in your SSCE.......na your uncle by the examiner??

Who dug out this thread.

Bros some people got 9 A's back in the day o I was not even one of the best 10 in my set.I am surprised that is now strange in Naija oh wait Waec and Neco have been getting progressively worse in the last coupe of years.

I hardly ever sàw pops but whenever he was around we all go into our room and forget passions or when you are mine or whatever. Ma was nice but e no mean say when he reach time to beat you with high heel or orogun[that stick used to turn EBA] You won't be spared at all!!!!
But my own matter no reach my neighbours own! As boys we had this habit of playing football inside the compound and we were always warned against it so as not to break window or windshield and their father as a sharp guy dey always branch home unexpectedly For night you go come dey hear
Paaaaa!!!! (sound of belt or wire or anything close by, ANYTHING! really)
Daddy mi oooo
Paaaaa!!!!
Daddy mi e joooo
Paaaaa!!!!
Daddy mi, mi ni se be mo!!!!

Day wey I fear pass na one day when him catch the younger ones dey watch action film(if you know what I mean ) Those two were just like 4 and 6 years old then! Na so this man allow them to finish dey chop, him come gather the elder ones whom we were age mates, the trial come start. He was the judge jury and executioner! if una see how I dey pray make these boys no mention my name because if my mum hear say dem mention my name ehn! I may be dead now! And truly I was party to borrowing that cassette! The episode of "Daddy mi e joooo" was bloody that night!
Good old times!
We are all responsible young men these days tho!
Lord bless our parents

Nigerian parents were always good at promising ...my mum would promise you this and that, which youd never get...at the long run you'd forget it...

let me add mine,
mum:Precious when I was young my dad uses to shave our hair for us So we could have time to study.
me:for my mind (wetin be my own )
mum:for u to do well academically u must shun all frivolities, no make-up Till u finish secondary school, u have to cut your hair since u are now in s.s.s.1. don't talk to boys now that u have reached puberty and passed it u will toasters from all angles, if u talk to them and let them touch u,u will get pregnant once u are pregnant the guy denies u and runs off, no more school for u and no place for u in my house either (mi o ni oja omo ni inu ile yi )..I will send u to your husband's family house, u will sell pepper wash clothes for them, your life don destroy be that.
me:for my mind 'GOD for bid I reject it in Jesus name' mummy I will Nit talk to a boy.I reach school I be one small girl then I quickly change sure go siddon for girl side, a guy mistakenly touch me ehn! your father u wan destroy my life abi.
well it all good, all na for us.Till date even after school no makeup oo.

for my house then u get small change and maale need am u no give am back wahala oo. na how u go face jury be that, u will tell how u got the money, while gave u,what u intend to do with it,.if u have no reasonable source ,it is concluded a jobless rapist gave u,then u get to know u are just reaching puberty and the sure of your body blessings, u will then be made to remember how u shake bombom wey no dey there when u walk

akinlex:
i didnt pass through these cos i was bred in Asia, bangladesh to be precise

if you are not in France then u are in Africa

MrTeymee:
Am I the only one my dad promised bicycle if I carried first?? After struggling and carrying the first in Pry3 ah no see bicycle even till now. Sadly I can't ride a bicycle till now.
When I carried 1st in Pry 3, the school gave me this pretty bournvita watter bottle I so loved. My mum never allowed me use it. She said I should wait till Jss1. Na so ah wait oo. Till ah write jamb ah no use am. E rust for house. My mum has this habit of keeping things and buying in bulk also
Then if u go visit a friend, mum wud be like hw many times have u seen tobi come to this house and visit u? Then if tobi comes eventually, na bad eye she go take dey look u...

Lol..

McDreKing:
Like seriously all this happened to me and it was fun too tho.

If you want double wahala just try hold my mum hand when she dey beat you, when my dad return she'll be like "see your son ooo I was beating him and he raised his hand to beat me back". Then I'll be like ah!!! Mommy no ooo I didn't beat you back ooo. She will say "you see he's even calling me a liar".

Then my sharp dad will now ask "is your mother a liar?" You see say dem don catch me from both sides and the automatic answer is no my mom isn't a liar. Na then wahala go begin ooo from hot slap to kneeling down to receiving several lashes of cane and sometimes I end up losing expectations from my dad. Then you'll hear him say "you see that cloth I was going to buy you don't come to ask me for it again".

Lol..

MhisIjay:
she did actually think she's the best barber

lol
the annoying part was the "ehen you now look handsome now,when you friends come ask them immala mma"
after every torment session

nickz:
lmao.............. just reminded me of my fathers beating.....if he slaps you and you form boss/strongman or you act like you didn't feel it
never really understood ibo that time
alll dawned on me not too long ago
he would say "so you are forming teminator for me nicholas,i gbago dimkpa right??"
after this statement you had to follow this rules if you wanted to survive

Rule 1:don't try to run
Rule 2:maintain maximum eye to eye contact
Rule 3:don't try to call my mums name while begging (my mother will from nowhere plant 2 "saddam hussein type bomb" slaps on your cheek)
Rule 4:don't shout too much...complicates things
Rule 5:always stay on his left hand side(he's left-handed so the force of the slap won't be that heavy if you position well
Rule6:if he's using a cane and it falls off his hand,act very fast;pick it up and hand it over to him ASAP
Rule7:don't anticipate "the end"...........the end might be 2 weeks later

I can't stop laughing, che I

Livingwalker:
your own na chicken lap you are very lucky
....mine was head of the fowl I no use that one play at all if no head no chicken be that ooo bt I dey feel you

iPhone6:
Most African parents raise their kids well.

5s na how much?

nickz:
lol
the annoying part was the "ehen you now look handsome now,when you friends come ask them immala mma"
after every torment session

Lwkmd
Nd frnds at skul will b lyk,hey dude did ur mom use scissors on u
Back home in ur mom's presence, dey will b lyk, dis is d best hair cut ever

Livingwalker:
your own na chicken lap you are very lucky
....mine was head of the fowl I no use that one play at all if no head no chicken be that ooo bt I dey feel you

I dey like d head of fowl and d legs too but na the price tag for coming first in my house those days be tat.

Can I save dis thread .....cant stop laffing..My childhood days has numerous episodes..i could remember one now..as I dey laff..my street used to be a long one closed by my pry schl.so it had one entrance frm d main road..our house was the last on d street (next to the school).i and my brothers used to go to our friends house at d beginning of d street to play table soccer.wheneva we heard my father's pickup thunderous horn from the entrance of d street...I don't knw hw we always manage to outrun dat pick up everytym tru some 'koro'.cos he must always meet us at home.d day we lost (over reliance on dat horn blast)was d day his van broke down and he had to walk home..guys imagine d rest of d story and d beating

tejpot:
That part that parents cant be wrong is so true. Saying 'what the elders see while on seat, a child standing tall will not be able to see'. Its their regime, let them enjoy it while it last.



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lmao,God forbid bad thing!

damiso:
Who dug out this thread.

Bros some people got 9 A's back in the day o I was not even one of the best 10 in my set.I am surprised that is now strange in Naija oh wait Waec and Neco have been getting progressively worse in the last coupe of years.

Good for you.....with the outburst of "miracle centres" these days, I'm not surpised.