₦airaland Forum

Abbey2sam:
Why do you have your BB pin on nairaland

Something I noticed too...

This is someone who loves another guy passionately...

And you're still advertising yourself

Except it strictly business

mesoade:
it's like you didn't read the post@emboldened . . The thing is That OP has a false perception that all men are cheaters which is a stereotype,an enormous blatant misconception . . The problem is not compatibility,the problem is that if OP finds another guy she will stil behave thesame towards him . . The OP is a feminist . . Now the problem is the OP has found a good guy who she claims she loves and but doesn't know how to show the love.
.
You can still show love without sex but since you just wanna learn it'll be somehow hard.
.
If your relationship involves light kisses,never underestimate the power,esp. When it's a surprise kiss, . . While having an argument with him and he's getting infuriated,you can just look in2 his eyes deeply and kiss him(instead of continuing argueing with him) that will calm his nerves and the next thing,he'll speak softly to you rather than a raised voice arguing . .that could go a long way in improving your romance life . . If you love someone so much,you'll always be thinking of that person,when thinking of him why don't you try and send him a message(most times i don't know something romantic to text her,i use google) . . From here,things can get better

barbiee:
I have been dating this guy for 4 yrs and we keep having this same fight over and over. We quarel today and settle tomorrow then act like nothing happened until we fight and settle again. Most times its my fault but being the gentleman that he is he always takes the blame and appologises. I admit I have major issues with guys in general and I'm punishing him unintentionally. Ok.. Let's go back in time, I had this belief while growing that all guys are cheaters if they don't cheat on you while you are alive they will marry the next girl they find when you are dead. My dad cheated on my mum, my elder sister's husband cheated on her which caused her to move out of her husband's house with a 2 yrs old baby and an 8 mnths old pregnancy, my boyfriend lost his mum 2 yrs ago and now his dad is married to another woman who doesn't know how his ist wife struggled with him when they where poor till they made it and my first boyfriend cheated on me with my friend so we broke up barely 2 mnths in2 the relationship and it took me a while before I said yes to my current boyfriend making him my 2nd bf and I'm his ist gf. Our families are already so close and we might get married next year when I graduate from school. Anyway during our chat-fight he made some statements which got me thinking. I am just goin to copy and paste some things he sent to me..
(I used to send u msgs a lot back den Bt I stpped because it made me luk lyk am fooling my sef.. Do u call me to kw wat am going tru.. Ur expression of Love towards me Killed d passion I had towards U.. I hv been bearing it nd hoping dat u will change 1 day but it's nt working.. A woman has d power to hold her man nd make him go crazy abt her Bt urs is nt so.. I kw I hv my serious Fault but ur attitude towards dis relationship has so much increased it.. I kw am angry now Bt let d truth b said.. U re jst too proud to accept dat u love me.. How frequent do u send me msgs jst to express hw u luv me or emotional msgs.. I permit u to try sum1 else if daz going 2 make u kw hw it feels wen u date sum1 who is hidden 4rm u..). Pls don't get those msgs wrong, I love my boyfriend and I don't want to marry anyone else. He is the closest person I have come to trust and I don't want to lose him. How do I make him feel loved? I love fairytales and cartoons but why can't I express my love in real life? My mum always used to tell me don't trust any guy.. They are all the same, what can a guy do for you that you can't do for yoursef? With that I have become so independent to the extent my pastor heard me telling someone oneday "what is the big deal about marriage? I don't tink I want to get married unless to have children" and he told me to see him for counselling which I have not done till today. Anyway, I won't be posting this here unless its urgent. I want to fix this. I have even tried setting an alarm to remind me to call everyday, it worked for about 2 weeks or so. I don't want him to feel unloved or that he is missing out on something. Pls romance experts how do I come out of my closet and embrace love? He paid me a suprise visit yesterday.. Said he has been thinking of me and he is making provision to get me a live rose as a gift. He is the sweetest thing and he doesn't deserve someone who has given up on luv. How do I learn how to love and show it? Thanks in advance.

naijaboiy:
I can so relate with this your story. I don't know why it is so but some ladies find it difficult to express their love for a guy that they know deep down they love him so much.

How can you claim you love somebody and you can't take the pains to even give him a flash or text message. Some of them will never text first,,they will be waiting for the guy to do that...meanwhile,,they are dying in silence.

It will not take anything out of your body if you return the love your boy friend shows to you. You people are dating,,the stage of claiming hard to get has passed. Call him,,send him text,,check up on him. It is not a hard thing to do. Tell him once in a while how much you love him. You must not wait for him to do it first. It doesn't make you cheap in any way.

I understand that you are probably scared due to the cheating mentality you have come to develop. But there is no harm in giving things a trial. If you're really scared,,then you shouldn't have agreed to date him in the first place. For the fact that you have agreed to date him,,then you have to show commitment.

Some girls are proud in their relationships but they won't accept it. Pride has really destroyed many relationships today,,even marriages.

You should learn to cut it down without losing your self worth.

#MyTwoCedis

barbiee:
Thanks 4 ur advice everyone I have made up my mind to be a complete different person. What is the worst thing that can happen anyway? His birthday is on the 16th maybe its time I suprise him with so much love he wuld be begging me for space. I really appreciate the comments. Anytime I feel like withdrawing I will come back here to read them and get motivated.

barbiee:
No insults or rude comments pls

naijaboiy:
You mean say since she enter I no dey make correct posts again?

Largas:
I never knew you could give sweet romantic advise.
Reading this girl's OriginalPost reminded me so much of my ex in my 100L. Her heart has been broken over and over again then she developed strong and kinda emotionless affection. She texts those sweet things once in blue moon, barely calls even when there is 1,500+ credit in her phone, sometimes I send the card, our relationship was just so cold courtesy her boredom, no matter how hard I tried to spice things up, taking her out, spending, playing, watching movies, it never improved, friends advised I quit, I finally did.

LoL,,i'm not in the romance section for nothing man. I help people with advice if I can.

The reason why I could really explain this to the lady is that it's part of an experience i've encountered and I can really feel the guy's pain.

We guys have egos,,but when we bring them down just because of the lady we love,,they shouldn't mess with it. That is how some girls lose their 'right man'.

Not every guy is that patient.

kilokeys:
lol e b like o

Haba! That na big lie o...

I still be who I be

barbiee:
Thanks 4 ur advice everyone I have made up my mind to be a complete different person. What is the worst thing that can happen anyway? His birthday is on the 16th maybe its time I suprise him with so much love he wuld be begging me for space. I really appreciate the comments. Anytime I feel like withdrawing I will come back here to read them and get motivated.

you're welcome

Just make sure it's really what you want to do and not pretence.

It will only make things worse

barbiee:
Thanks 4 ur advice everyone I have made up my mind to be a complete different person. What is the worst thing that can happen anyway? His birthday is on the 16th maybe its time I suprise him with so much love he wuld be begging me for space. I really appreciate the comments. Anytime I feel like withdrawing I will come back here to read them and get motivated.

EnlightenedSoul:
Your attitude and effort will help you, but for a long-term fix, it has to come from within. Can you think of anything that might help you get to the heart of the problem?

I was like this for reasons completely different to yours, and it was mainly time and his understanding that helped.

barbiee:
I can't think of any other thing that can help me get to the hrt of the problem and I just hope this change will be permanent. Honestly I'm nt doing this because I want to, I just don't want him to break up with me because of it. He has waited a long time for me to change. Sometimes I ask him why he is still with me inspite of my attitude and he said Noah's ark wasn't built in a day. I hope I fix this b4 it is too late.

naijaboiy:
Haba! That na big lie o...

I still be who I be

kilokeys:
u r milder.. more compassionate.

u no rugged like we again.. cos u have to account for every wicked post u make

e good sha

Ok that

Hehehe...things change people y'know

I guess it has happened to me too

naijaboiy:
I can so relate with this your story. I don't know why it is so but some ladies find it difficult to express their love for a guy that they know deep down they love him so much.

How can you claim you love somebody and you can't take the pains to even give him a flash or text message. Some of them will never text first,,they will be waiting for the guy to do that...meanwhile,,they are dying in silence.

It will not take anything out of your body if you return the love your boy friend shows to you. You people are dating,,the stage of claiming hard to get has passed. Call him,,send him text,,check up on him. It is not a hard thing to do. Tell him once in a while how much you love him. You must not wait for him to do it first. It doesn't make you cheap in any way.

I understand that you are probably scared due to the cheating mentality you have come to develop. But there is no harm in giving things a trial. If you're really scared,,then you shouldn't have agreed to date him in the first place. For the fact that you have agreed to date him,,then you have to show commitment.

Some girls are proud in their relationships but they won't accept it. Pride has really destroyed many relationships today,,even marriages.

You should learn to cut it down without losing your self worth.

#MyTwoCedis

barbiee:
Thanks 4 ur advice everyone I have made up my mind to be a complete different person. What is the worst thing that can happen anyway? His birthday is on the 16th maybe its time I suprise him with so much love he wuld be begging me for space. I really appreciate the comments. Anytime I feel like withdrawing I will come back here to read them and get motivated.