₦airaland Forum

No matter how loving you and your spouse are towards each other, there is bound to be disagreement every now and then And as you increase communication with your spouse, arguments will happen.

You may wish you could turn back the clock — over and over again. Hopefully, humour can keep the argument from exploding out of control. If not, misunderstandings and fights tend to occur with greater frequency.

Despite the inevitability of an argument, some things should never be said. Here is a list of 10 of them.

A• “I want a divorce”
While the coals of temper are ablaze, it is easy to say things you do not mean. Asking for divorce, though, even if amends have been made and forgiveness, requested, is a difficult thing to erase. It brings a lack of confidence in one another.

B• “I’m not angry”
If you are not angry, then why are you making snappy remarks, slamming the door, putting her down and pretending that she does not exist? Denying your emotions will not help you in any way. We desire acceptance, and denying your reactions with those that love you is pointless. It is better to control your emotions and talk about what bothers you instead.

C•“You are just like your father!”
When you say this, you are probably talking about your father-in-law’s defects, rather than his good qualities. Besides not seeing your husband for who he really is, this type of statement will immediately make him take the defensive. Think about it. What would you like your child to be doing in a similar situation, when that day arrives?

D• “You are a (insert negative adjective)!”
Name-calling is ugly. Whether it is comparing her with someone you know or making her feel worthless, it will make her feel more vulnerable.

E• “Look, the kids are crying!”
STOP! Before you read any further, always remember: You should never, ever, argue in front of your children. If you use your children to gain advantage in a fight, it will only hurt your kids more.

F• “You are ALWAYS late, You NEVER do the dishes” Be wary of and even remove the words “never” and “always” from your vocabulary when describing something your spouse does that irritates you. By using these words, you show total lack of confidence and hope that your partner even has the desire to change. Never generalize.

G• “It’s all your fault!”
Rarely, in fact, almost never is something, in a marriage, only one partner’s fault. Assume responsibility and recognize your own faults.

H• “You don’t love me anymore!”
There is already plenty of drama to go around, so why add to it by telling your wife how she feels — whether she loves you or not? Respect her feelings. Making yourself the victim, reducing the problem’s importance and avoiding the problem does not resolve anything.

I• “Why don’t you act more like (insert name here)’s husband?”
Do not compare the person you chose to be with to anyone else. You already saw and understood the best and the worst about him before you got married. Besides, if you see someone else looking perfect and desirable, it’s probably only on the outside. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Keep your problem at home.

J• “My mother warned me about this!”
Bringing someone else into the fight is complicated enough as it is. Make that person your mother and the whole situation will probably explode. If you are so devoted to your mother, and if she had warned you about this, then why did you marry your wife in the first place? Most people already don’t like their mother-in-laws, but telling your wife that she is disliked by your mother will only make matters worse

dre11:
^^^

Quiet true Mynd44


But, most people still makes these mistakes the op did highlight and it's carried to relationships




Am sure that one of the reasons we have problems in marriages

Mynd44:
Being calm and quiet seems like you are a fool but it saves you a lot of trouble and allows you see things in perspective?

dre11:
Well said



But, these are qualities that we do find lacking in alot of people during confrontation and argument.


They seems to exhibit the other side of them (animals instincts) during This times

mkpakanaodogwu:
Just be dumb thats all

Mynd44:
And then they come back to blame their anger when the harm has been done

Mynd44:
Being calm and quiet seems like you are a fool but it saves you a lot of trouble and allows you see things in perspective?

Mynd44:
You should never say anything to anyone while angry not just your partner

anthoniaz:
God help me

okotv:
when it becomes tough or tempers flare... I just run ....call me a coward I don't really care

dre11:
Not letting it get to that stage is what we should be preventing.........
Because when it did get.. .....

Sometimes what we said might not come to work because at that stage we are moved by emotion and not reasoning

okotv:
you can't stop some situations, managing it without getting hurt should then be the major priority.

dre11:
Sure

okotv:
wish I could throw my military skills around but its for federal criminals sha.

nice thread dear....keep it up

dre11:
Thanks ...

We need to share knowledge, because it makes us a better human

dre11:
Then you work towards it
It's not just prayers.. .... It takes a lot of work from you to be the best that you can be.....


Because as carefreewannabe says.. .....
It's easier said than done

What you put your mind and energy to becomes easy to accomplish

chaircover:
Someone told me that its not only what you do that can make or break a marriage . . . .its what you say!!!
I try hard not to talk when I am angry . . .its difficult though but if you put your mind to it, its possible.

jaybee3:
I bet you just put a sheercover in da mouth to stop errm venom from coming out

dre11:
^^^

Quotes.. ...



Chaircover.... 2014

dre11:
Then you work towards it
It's not just prayers.. .... It takes a lot of work from you to be the best that you can be.....


Because as carefreewannabe says.. .....
It's easier said than done