HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday - Family (5)

HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by repent4christ: 8:06am On Dec 19, 2014

I thank God for my wife, she has patience and i dont abuse it, this woman pulls down her own house without knowledge, proverbs 14:1

1 Like

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by ethylene: 8:06am On Dec 19, 2014

Well, its of no use to curse your husband in as much he may be at fault and wont relief you of your grief. already you have a faulty marrage which also has affected you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Since you both are soul mates, And you curse the father of your Children?
Think twice on this. I don't know what you have done on your own part to warrant such treatment From your husband but coming here on line to pour curses on your husband is not a sensible Thing to do. First he is at fault and you have to forgive him. If you are not a vain Christian then commit your probem to god for intervention. Remember The lords prayer.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:07am On Dec 19, 2014

bushdoc9919:
Now, now...don't be letting off the man easy.

It is the man's fault.....he went after other women because his wife was not so perfect as he originally thought.

And that is where the problem lies.

When getting married....don't look for a human goddess. They do not exist(except in the mind of some manga authors). Women are imperfect. Learn to live with their imperfections....as they would with yours.

Stop blaming the woman....why was the man such a coveter of his neighbor's property!?

#At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.#

Did you read this part huh

#i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.#

and this huh

#my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to stay without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.#

and this huh

?

Madam hatelove used her bare hands to throttle the life outta her marriage. Her ATTITUDE drove the man away and when he found someone who didn't give him that kinda stress and decided to settle down with her, Madam hatelove rushed down here to open an account and rain curses on his head! WTF huh

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Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:07am On Dec 19, 2014

Tashamania:
Did I miss a line?

Where in the OP's statement did she mention she was frustrating her hubby's life? Which sane woman would do that?

Read up on the first 15 comments on this thread.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Urine: 8:07am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

I think your husband has made a good decision, initially there was peace in your home but you destroyed it with your insecurity and nasty attitude. You know what gave you away as a really bad person? You cursed the father of your children and said his pocket willl run dry. If I was your husband, I woukd have kicked you out a long time ago.

1 Like

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:08am On Dec 19, 2014

Tashamania:
Did I miss a line?

Where in the OP's statement did she mention she was frustrating her hubby's life? Which sane woman would do that?

Err you missed more than a line , more like a paragraph

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:08am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

....the man broke your fragile heart,i accept.you don't need to curse him-he remains the father of your kids.what is done cannot be undone.please get used to this new life.bless him more than before.show him more love though you're hurting.smile whenever you are sorrowful.all is well...

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by dBard: 8:09am On Dec 19, 2014

Have read the posts and don't understand why peeps will be consoling the o.p making her feel exonerated wen clearly she Was In The Wrong!
This is not abt feminism but the TRUTH.

@o.p..clearly you have/had issues, and unlike wat most ppl here are saying, it has nothing to do wit whether u were working or uneducated (cos clearly you must've bin in school then) because the issue here is a character flaw that u Were unwilling to deal with.

U guys didn't marry f love, that much is obvious but sometimes, the willingness to make the marriage work is just as important.
U clearly allowed ur insecurities possess u. I've bin wit an insecure girl b4 n I know first hand how frustrating that can be .
Calling n harassing his contacts was, frankly, going too far. I can just imagine d embarrassments.
U also,probably thinking he won't cope, stayed away from ur husband f 3 Months huh

Haba! In this time n age, with girls on d prowl everywhere undecided

Wat probably happened is..d nu wife must've taken advantage of the opportunity u presented n ur husband having failed with the 'decent, homely wife' he chose now wants to try f love cos I think he truly/thinks he truly loves her.
Guaranteed, ur husband wasn't patient enough to deal with ur insecurities and is making the classical grass is greener mistake but it's already too far gone rite now.

You @o.p, have got 2choices, to stay or to leave. Make it carefully, keeping in mind that u will have to live watching another woman getting all the attention that should be coming to you and that can create bitterness which will end up engulfing the family (children especially).

Do the right thing.
Peace.

P.s; revoke ur curses n edit it off ur posts. That is just wrong and wicked.

2 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:10am On Dec 19, 2014

jossi994:
#At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.#

Did you read this part

#i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.#

and this

#my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to stay without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.#

and this?

Madam hatelove used her bare hands to throttle the life outta her marriage. Her ATTITUDE drove the man away and when he found someone who didn't give him that kinda stress and decided to settle down with her, Madam hatelove rushed down here to open an account and rain curses on his head! WTF

I did.

At which point I would like to state that when getting married.....you are not marrying a goddess, or a god for that matter.(or even the man or the woman your partner could smell like

) ...but a human being, with all the perfect and imperfect imperfections!(A lesson lost on the man the OP was married to).

Keep that in mind....and it would go easy for you in any relationship.....not just marriage.

2 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:11am On Dec 19, 2014

okotv:
I have other fears but I get calm when ever I remember that God lives

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by GhaliNaaba(m): 8:13am On Dec 19, 2014

kristen12:
Mr trained adult. Train your children well and send your advise to your sisters, if not they'll beat them to pulp, throw their pieces inside Ghana must go and send them to your house

I beg no vex.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by passionate88: 8:14am On Dec 19, 2014

veave:
Okay. Me sef dey wait. I never sleep.
@op.

Dearie, lets know how it started.
Please do not leave out anything # even your faults.
So we know how to tackle it with you.

And probably avoid it

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by clemzo101(m): 8:17am On Dec 19, 2014

Ok sir, lemme read again, may be its because I just woke up

iCool:
Please go back and read the full story, it didn't take me upto 5mins.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by dBard: 8:17am On Dec 19, 2014

dominique:
@hatelove, Sorry your husband is not a baby. He has made his decision. Try to come to terms with it so as not to affect your health adversely. If you feel you can't live under the same roof with the new wife. Tell him to provide alternative accommodation for either of you (better her).

Women need to know that going after women linked to their husbands diminishes his attraction to them. All the time she was busy humiliating her husband by harassing his colleagues, she should have sat him down. Truly, they barely knew each other, but it is strangers that become friends then lovers. After being embarassed by his wife, the man must have started having second thoughts about the person he married. women need to be less insecure.

Well said especially@2nd part.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by tonychristopher: 8:17am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

As a man I will advise you these...

You have not told us if you had been a nice woman cos no man marries a nice woman to look for a second wife

You have not told us if you were faithful to him..vows a man will dump you once he notice that

Third you have not told us your tribe ..if you had been a yoruba or hausa lady ..ploygammy is normal so live with it and don't cry us a river

The last is this ..it hurts ..are you fruitful

Now in Africa there is no law against polygamy so the choice is yours ...don't cry UA a river here

Now I know that people will hit and hate me for this but I have spoken the fact

Check yourself rather coming here to be a nuisance

Must you wash your dirty linen in public

Go and have a retrospect of yourself

That's my advise

Thank your goodness that this happening at this time of the year

2 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:18am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:18am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE

1. if his pocket go dry i hope u can take care of ur kids alone?
2. Did i read "pastor" called him and he didnt pick? ladies have to be careful how they invite pastor or religious leaders in their family affairs.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:20am On Dec 19, 2014

bushdoc9919:
I did.

At which point I would like to state that when getting married.....you are not marrying a goddess, or a god for that matter.(or even the man or the woman your partner could smell like ) ...but a human being, with all the perfect and imperfect imperfections!(A lesson lost on the man the OP was married to).

Keep that in mind....and it would go easy for you in any relationship.....not just marriage.

i hope when yo planning on getting married,you pick a wife that has madam hatelove's character then we'll see if yo gonna be able to handle that kinda shiii..

Have you ever dealt with an insecure/paranoid woman or girl in yo life? I have and i know tha hell i passed through. So i totally understand why the man did what he did.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Tertin(m): 8:22am On Dec 19, 2014

If you pray this kind of prayer to people you too won't be left out in that purnishment. Ask every good man of God. I wouldn't judGe you nor the man so I won't be judge. But I know you will be so bittered, I think taking your supplication to God and leaving him to his fate still works 100%. Thank you

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by clemzo101(m): 8:23am On Dec 19, 2014

Oga mi sir, I ve read dis story like 10x now, still cldntnt find anything, may be u shld tell us what u saw with ur eagle eyes, I'm eager to know what u supposedly saw in 5mins dat d rest of us didn't not see. Thanks

iCool:
Please go back and read the full story, it didn't take me upto 5mins.

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by deavicky(m): 8:24am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

for ten years u two are married with three children and he decides to marry again. U must ve been doing something he did not like and u verefused to change.example see the corse u are placing on him

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by mikolo80: 8:25am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

no wonder he got another wife

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Hero10001: 8:25am On Dec 19, 2014

Attend the party and enjoy yourself or go hug transformer..
*winch*

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:27am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.

...yap,you helped burn your home to ashes.it's one thing to search your spouse's phone for likely clues to extramarital affairs,it's another bad idea to call the lady in question.your calls solidify their love (i wrote from experience).to all ladies-stop digging for troubles.

1 Like

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:28am On Dec 19, 2014

neoapocalypse:
Err you missed more than a line , more like a paragraph

Timbuktou:
Read up on the first 15 comments on this thread.

Oh, I just saw the other part. Thanks

@OP, I'm so sorry. Insecurity was the cause of your problem but what I dont get is why your hubby after reconciling still went ahead with seeing the other girl..

I dont know if I should say its good thing you found out about the cheating hubby or not, but what I'll say to you, is that you should be strong, keep on living and praying and let God's will be done in your life.

Please and please, dont think of putting up any form of embarrassment to your ex hubby and his new wife..Let God take control

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by humilitypays(m): 8:29am On Dec 19, 2014

hatelove:

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

I pity most women shaa.

But all these ladies advising her and other ladies to have a career, have a PhD, have money, bla bla bla before u marry as a lady, does that solve the problem huh

If u like be richer than Mrs Alakija or Serena Williams, if u have bad behaviour and character, no man in his right thinking sense would marry you and remain with you forever!

The way u guys are talking as if having money as a woman solves the problem...there are millions of wealthy career women being butted out of their marriage by their husband, so its not about money or career or education but character and behaviour!

The lady did not complain of money or not having money, she's just insecure that because she didn't go to higher institution that her hubby will be chasing educated/working class women, which made her to start sniffing around her husband's phone, etc and hence killed her marriage with her bare hands.

Ladies stop thinking that having the best career or being so educated and rich will save you from heartbreak or will secure you the happiest marriage, its pure lie!!!

Many rich, working class ladies are single crying for hubby...many rich ladies have been divorced and being divorced, why? Bad character, lack of humility and infidelity!

HUMILITY is a character every man desires in a woman! Not money, not career, not education.

Unfortunately, many ladies become horrible in marriage which scare guys now from getting marriage, and like I hear people say: bad wives come back to their good senses when their husband marries a second wife, and this is what's happening to you.

One of my senior colleague, 50something now said his first wife was so horrible and made his life miserable to the extent he nearly ran mental and ppl advised him to marry a second wife that the wife would change and that once he married a second wife, his first wife became an angel till date....three of them are living happily under one big compound, diff buildings shaa...

So to single ladies reading, be good, don't push your future husband to the wall.

Have good looks and be humble and watch men worship and exalt you!

@poster, sorry, all you can do now is pray and go back to his family that brought you to please help.

Your husband must have endured your bad character for so long before taking this bold step. He didn't do this because he met u via match-making, he did it because you were too insecure, and maybe arrogant, not humble and in fact stubborn! Change, cry to your God in your privacy, confess your sins and mistake and ask God to come to your aid asap!

Don't listen to all these people telling you its because you didn't have a career or education because I know a lady who happened to be a HR staff in one of the top multinational firms here in Nigeria who got butted out of her marriage last year and she almost committed suicide, almost left her job to run away if not for family/friends intervention, in fact, she nearly ran mad....so its not just about career....or money.

I wish you the best but pls renounce those curses you pronounced against your hubby and mistress.

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Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:30am On Dec 19, 2014

jossi994:
i hope when yo planning on getting married,you pick a wife that has madam hatelove's character then we'll see if yo gonna be able to handle that kinda shiii..

Have you ever dealt with an insecure/paranoid woman or girl in yo life? I have and i know tha hell i passed through. So i totally understand why the man did what he did.

Well, first off, marriage is not for your enjoyment....it is for you to be a servant.When I get married , it will be with the understanding that I am marrying a human being....who is imperfect as I am imperfect. So....par the course.

Second, when I do get married.....I hope that I am sensible enough to rely on God to help me be a trustworthy husband so that even if I get a ''paranoid'' wife.....she will know eventually that she can trust me....and mayhap be inspired to be free from being afraid all the time.

Besides.....I won't be surprised if the hubby was not a skirt chaser before.....which is why his wife was suspicious of him in the first place. Or even if he was not....he probably was not guarding his mind well....because as the bible says....a man who looks at a woman ''that way'' has committed adultery.

If men guarded their minds well....life would be a whole lot better for families. Me, I am single....and I know I am not perfect in the mind game too. I am a man after all.....and yes, I have desires. But.....at a point in your life....you gotta learn that sacrificing your desires on the altar of service to others is good. I have a weight problem....and as a result must spend time exercising. I don't enjoy it. But.....it is better I exercise now ......rather than suffer the stroke later....and leave a wife and kids helpless! Same thing with guarding your mind....avoid rule 34 things....and your married life would be better.

Did the OP'S husband give her good reason to trust him? Because....I strongly suspect he did not.

3 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Godmother(f): 8:31am On Dec 19, 2014

Lilamartedi:
I don't think there is any amount of provocation that would make a man wake up one day and decide to walk out from a 10years old marriage and three kids.. From all indications the woman never cheated on him

You are so correct! And what we see as provocation here is a woman that was trying to challenge her cheating husband, albert she did it too emotionally. Dude was already cheating on her and I'm sure no matter how the situation played out, he'd have still married the other woman.

If she had acted unconcerned towards his cheating, the hubby would probably have accused her of being cold and unemotional.

4 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by cantrell15: 8:35am On Dec 19, 2014

sweetheart, i have read your story and i felt your pain, i felt the confusion the lack of a way forward. i have been in a close situation in my relationship and in 6 months i was lost i wanted so badly to pack n go. i am working and can support myself no doubt but i gave my entire to loving a man n all he did everyday was find fault in me for no good reason.
we quarreled like everyday. i prayed everyday and asked God for a sign to either leave or stay hoping things will improve.
what the lord has done in my life no man or counselling can do, what am telling you is don't fight physically, u mentioned a Pastor which means you have a spiritual mentor.
when your enemies rise up the only weapon christian we have is go on your knees. you will never be wrong there God never sleeps nor slumbers your relationship failure don't blame it on your self. God knows everything you have been and are going through. you are a conqueror when on your knees, please fast and pray and let Gods will be done.
don't despair but in everything by prayer and supplication make your request known to God.
Dont fight physically, don't call the woman don't poison or kill anyone,i will pray that such thoughts be replaced by positive in Jesus name.
you are loved and cherished by God and what God has said is yours will always be.
please keep us posted...
GO ON YOUR KNEES......

1 Like

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by Nobody: 8:37am On Dec 19, 2014

It's suprising that most persons failed to see beyond the surface. Indepence is not the main issue. It's way beyond that. The issues are companionship, trust and mutual respect. Even if you get a career and get married again, if these thing are lacking, the marriage will never work.

2 Likes

Re: HELP: My Husband Wedding Comes Up On Saturday by TDstarr: 8:37am On Dec 19, 2014

cococandy:
People think when men say they don't want their wife working,it is always out of love for them,many times it is their mode of control and that is exactly what happened here

believe it or not as a man its out of love, sometimes you just dont wana see hergo tru the stress we men go through at work and you want her to take care of the kids esp if they are still little

am noy saying its right though

2 Likes

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